Pathetic Gender Critical Parents of Troons - And others who object to troonery while also enabling it

[raritycat]

So let's break these down:

Caren

• First of all, this parent is the father because he later references his wife and how his daughter's godparents are "a lesbian couple" rather than "another lesbian couple."
• "She is, of course, not ugly, but she does not fit the current socially preferred appearance for young girls (thin, long legs, straight blonde hair, etc.). " and "It is our opinion that many of the girls involved (and perhaps our daughter) found lesbian relationships as a way to engage in the romantic drama that teen girls typically love. The boys their age did not want or know how to engage in this, so relationships with other girls was perfect,"
  • This is the perfect paired reading because you can tell how hard this man is trying not to offend the women on this website by speaking the truth. His daughter is likely an overweight, stumpy, troll-looking girl. There are middle school boys who date girls, but they usually date girls that they are into. He tries to make them out to be ignorant, when really it is an issue of consent.
• "We really like the teachers, and we know their intentions are good. But they have not known our daughter for her whole life. They, like everyone else, feel like they have to "respect" our daughter's identification."
  • Teachers barely make enough to stay afloat and are trying to not get sued into homelessness. They also see your daughter 5 days a week and likely see a bunch of gender non-conforming girls on the daily who don't troon out/are not friends with your kid.
• "Up until this point, she had always acted and behaved as female. She was proud to be a girl and had signs and posters with sayings like "Girl Power" and "Girls Rule, Boys Drool." "
  • Hold up, wait a minute- who bought those posters for her? Let's not act like kid's have complete control over decorating their room, here. Were they hand made? Did you give her a $20 to run through Spencer's gifts or Hot Topic to get herself some room decor? Someone in your vicinity put that cringe shit up, sir.

Faren

• "My husband is from overseas but moved to the UK around age 19 where we met shortly after. When our girls were between ages 4-11 we moved to his home country, living in a farming community surrounded by nature. During all of this time the girls were home educated but were involved in many activities horse riding, swimming, gymnastics, Brownies and had a wide group of friends."
  • So you homeschooled your kids for 11 years in what I presume is another anglophone country and her only source of interaction was supervised time with other girls...
• "On returning to the UK Sophie (aged 11) she attended a Rudolph Steiner school where she had a few good friends but was bullied by another group. Unable to resolve this issue Sophie returned to home education. For the next 5 years Sophie was happy and confident. She was always the most easy going of the two girls, even when hormones kicked in and she began her periods."
  • Then you put her in a Waldorf school where she'd be surrounded by the kids of other woo-woo parents only to pull her out once she got her first dose of what other girls are actually like when adults are not around. This could have been a great moment for teaching her about grit and standing up for herself, but instead you pulled her out until she would have written her GCSEs and have no formative interaction with other children.
• " Sophie began an Art course in college (ages 16-18 which she excelled at. During the second year Sophie made a new group of friends - one of them particularly stood out, a gay young man who liked to cross dress. He seemed to enjoy the positive attention it gave him. "
• "Both Sophie and her sister were big fans of Sherlock Holmes and Marvel movies and began talking about 'shipping' - relationships of male characters eg. Holmes and Watson. It was difficult to have conversations with them that wasn't about gay relationships. They became confrontational and moody. We passed it off as teenage angst, but in hindsight it was the beginning of Sophie's transgender exploration."
  • Pairing these because it sounds like Sophie started to get creepily obsessed with her gay friend because he was the first male she ever interacted with that wasn't family (and didn't treat her like a piece of meat)
• " I began to learn about Asperger's at this time, thinking that this might be a factor in our family. Sophie has always had periods where she would become obsessed and focused on things: Richard Scarry's alphabet dictionary, dinosaurs, Harry Potter, eating specific foods, collecting Schleich model ponies and researching horse breeds, collecting semi precious gemstones and learning about Iceland in order to write a fantasy novel."
  • Is it Asperger's or did you just spend years training your daughter to be an unsocialized mongoloid? Because these sound like perfectly normal interests for a little girl. Maybe if you, I don't know, let her go to a normal school and you actually spent time getting to know children outside of your own you might see that they can all be pretty different from one another.
• "My husband has a very different family background to mine. His family is not close or supportive. He left home as soon as he was able. So although he'd been a strict father when the girls were younger, once they reached around 15, he increasingly said that they had to make their own decisions and mistakes."
• "Also during this period, Sophie and her sister were spending more time online and showing less interest in spending time with family, whom they had previously been close to. They are the eldest of 10 grandchildren."
  • Husband sounds based. But also, you spent 7 years in his country where he wasn't close to his family- so how close can your daughters really be to your side of the family if they didn't really start to know them until the age of 11? Cognitive dissonance moment.
• " Sophie, who had never been a drinker, began drinking and going to gay clubs with a gay male in her flat. The other people in her flat were very girly girls. Sophie didn't fit in with them. She has always struggled with the dynamics of girls' relationships and generally preferred male company. Sophie is more 'Kate Humble' than 'Kim Kardashian'."
  • Because you pulled her away from learning how to actually deal with interpersonal dynamics among girls. Of course her new gay friend, who is being nice to her, is who she clings on to and hangs out with. Seems like she's 2/2 for having gay teenage boys treat her like a human being.
• "Sophie began a relationship online with a boy she'd known in childhood. He was two years younger and it was her first serious relationship. I think she was using him as an emotional crutch to cope with University. Sophie returned home at Christmas and the relationship fell apart."
  • It's a long distance relationship with some 16 year old she hadn't seen in at least 7 years- of course it fell apart.
• "I didn't accept the situation. I believed at the time, and still do, that Sophie is not living in the wrong body. I do believe that Sophie has issues with body confidence and she doesn't agree with gender roles and expectations that come from societal norms and are imposed upon us as women."
  • Right, it has nothing to do with the fact that her only experience with women is that you're all shitheads to her while gay teens and her father help her experience life or respect her boundaries.
• "When I was Sophie's age, I was just coming out of a four year period of depression and anorexia. Where would I be now if society and the medical profession had said to me, at 5'7" and below 6 stone (84 lb) in weight"
  • Dead, and we would be better off because of it. Also, wasn't this the age she met her husband? So she left the UK with him, a man who didn't need anyone's help to get away from his fucked up family, presumably to run away from whatever fucked up shit led to her anorexia? Got it.
• " People say that our family would have been the last that they would have thought something like this would have happened to. We've bought our children up to be personally and socially responsible."
  • Bullshit. You brought your daughter up to run away from her problems instead of facing them head on just like her mother. You are the exact type of family this happens to.

Garen

• Married a woman before it was legal, but had a husband as of 2016... daughter would have been born around 2005 so I have to ask, what happened to the dyke she married in Massachusetts/Canada?
• "However, as a parent and a physician, I have to start with what I know. First, do no harm. Given that gender dysphoria is common in puberty, and in most cases resolves on its own, it seems prudent to seek ways to alleviate this discomfort other than immediately assuming it necessarily reflects a transgender identity. "
  • Why did it take until the middle of the article for this woman to mention she's a doctor? I feel like this could have been a good opportunity to use her access to medical journals to parse through data with her daughter and explain to her what the results mean.
• "I believe that my child is perfect just the way she is. I do not believe she was "born in the wrong body." I am unwilling to risk her health by acting on the unfounded assumption that she might be happier in the future as a transgender man. If that is the case, she will know it with certainty when she is grown, and she can take steps to manifest that when she has a fully developed prefrontal cortex with which to make decisions, with her health and fertility intact."
  • Yet, from the sounds of it, you still dumped a woman you married the minute you wanted a kid and some dick. If most kids whose gender dysphoria resolves reveals them to be gay/lesbian, how do you think a potentially lesbian daughter would feel hearing that a bisexual woman couldn't even prioritize a lesbian for a couple years before getting dick crazy?

Haren

• " Which leads me to believe she may be misinterpreting her gender dysphoria for rejection of white privilege among several other reasons. In the circle of potential causes and contributing factors, I can point to between 8-10 definite reasons. "
  • It's not just that this woman let her kid join the "Cool Kid's Club" - she was taking her to women's marches and seems to have actively made her daughter feel shitty about being white (I would assume mommy dearest doesn't have any non-white friends, nor are there any non-white people in the neighbourhood). Also, why not point out those 8-10 definite reasons? Worried we might spot a crack?
• "Since she's intellectually and verbally gifted, while I struggle to clear the fog from my brain on a daily basis, it's impossible for me to prove any point with her. My husband processes things internally and has done his best to have conversations with her. "
  • So her primary female role model is a big retard? Got it.
• "I've struggled SO much to find others in similar situations I can talk with about this. I am so thankful to have found this group. I'm alarmed that in our two-block neighborhood, we have at least THREE FTM trans teens that I am aware of. I wonder how many more? One of them was a close friend of my daughter until a couple years ago. This can't possibly be coincidence. "
  • The water is turning the girls into wannabe men! It couldn't possibly be that we live in a cul-de-sac with no public transportation that inherently isolates our girls from having a life and that their only exposure to adult women are Karens screeching at the HOA because Mr Jones let his dog take a shit in the park.

Maren

• "Paulo struggled. Ana’s ex moved out of their shared home and began living with a boyfriend and Paulo was traumatized by the breakup and all the changes. He was registered for kindergarten (without Ana) as “Mira, transgender female”,and Ana’s ex fought ferociously when anyone tried to suggest a more open approach."
  • Normie lesbian gets dumped by psycho bi woman who branch swings into moving in with her new boyfriend. I'm also going to hazard a guess and say that this guy may be molesting little Paulo and has been in the picture longer than Ana and Maren know.
• "The self-centered affirmative approach gave him too much power, but he cannot change it on his own. During his time with us, he identifies as a vibrantly happy little boy, while at the same time, Ana has been labeled as abusive and was accused of “deadnaming” her own child."
  • Bro, he's 8. He has no fucking power. Put the crackpipe down and file for sole custody.
• "Ana and her ex have been in a custody battle for many months. A trial will happen some time in 2019. Our family is not the only one to go the route of litigation. There are several known cases that are eerily similar to ours here in Great Britain, and in the US in the states of Arizona, Ohio, Kentucky and currently in Texas. In every case, there is a mother who appears to be the one to insist that their very young child is transgender with (usually) a father who has not witnessed anything of the kind. So far, many of the fathers have won. It is impossible to know how things will go for us in our über liberal bubble."
  • Considering that the UK is TERF island, you dykes should be fine (unless the ex is the birth mother in which case... sucks for Paulo).

 

[💗Freddie Freaker💗]

It's going to be pretty hard for people to raise a child and keep them away from homo influence. Kelloggs has a cereal themed around transgenderism that teaches pronouns on the box. Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, Disney are full of explicitly gay themes. Teachers are basically allowed to teach butt sex to children before they even understand reproduction, and they openly brag about it. It's not something people can deny anymore.

There's some guy with a mustache who has been going around to various stores and asking random people how they feel about the blatant LGBT propaganda marketed to kids that is right in front of their face and everyone is afraid to speak their true opinions.

What are you supposed to do that won't severely isolate and alienate your child? People say stuff like "well my kids will just watch the old school cartoons. My kids won't listen to new music," and stuff that seems more reasonable like not allowing them on social media. The next generation will be raised online so taking away social media is like locking them in their room.

What bothers me the most about all of this is that I wouldn't teach my child that homo stuff is bad. I wouldn't teach them to hate gays. I've never known anyone who has taught that other than Muslims and the Westboro Baptist Church. They used to run that footage on CNN everyday in the 00s. Even the most devout Christians I knew taught "love the sinner, hate the sin." All of this blatant LGBT propaganda targeted towards children makes me feel like I'm some weird outlier and societal outcast. I guess we just have to live in this world now, and it's really depressing because I don't know how to protect my kid from it in a reasonable way. I don't think it's wrong to want to do that.

You talk to them about it and contextualize what they see. Explain that changing biological sex is currently impossible and people claiming otherwise are delusional.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

The "foggy brained" mom probably has some kind of neurasthenia, ie, female-specific affluenza disease like long covid, chronic lyme, fibromyalgia, whatever. Honestly is there even one of these loons who is working class or lower middle class or anything but "don't sit on the beige couch it's just for guests" Hyacinth Bucket-tier UMC striver?

One thing that's emerging is that a lot of these parents are on the older age. Goes with the UMC affluenza striver demographic. For instance Naren, here, mentions her trooned out daughter is 12 years younger than her siblings.

She looked like a mermaid, with long, curly white-blond hair. She was also striking, even in grade school. People would always remark how beautiful she was. They thought she was much older.

She was 12 years younger than her older twin sisters, so she was always very comfortable with adults. As parents, we found it strange that she was very insecure with girls her own age, but had no problem with adults, or performing the lead in the school play, or singing in front of hundreds of people.

Bruh. And they are wusses. Just comically wussy old-ass boomer parents. Like the therapist says this to a 13 year old:

This therapist said it was easy for girls to become boys. “Just start wearing cargo pants and wear your hat backwards.” She also said all teenagers sleep with everybody regardless of sex nowadays, anyway.

And Naren declaims how horrific this is in light of their family values. So what does she do?

This counselor was so diametrically opposed to our family values and how we had raised our children that I cried for an hour after leaving. She had really shaken my faith in the world, but my daughter liked her, so we reluctantly went to her a few more times. When school started, I told her that we couldn’t take a day off school to do this since it was such a long way from our home.

A proper adult and parent could not only walk their kid out of an appointment where the "professional" is endorsing casual promiscuous sex, but tell the professional what they think of all that, and write a complaint to the professional board. This one can't even say "NO." She cries for hours, then takes the kid back for more, then has to make a gay excuse to get out of it.

Old parents have more autistic kids, almost certainly a factor with Paren here:

His trans insanity has destroyed us. We are older parents. My husband is 72 and reduced to tears that if he "slips" and uses the "wrong" pronouns, he is severely chastised. He deals with the loss of our sons by not talking about it....

I have seriously considered suicide rather than deal with the pain and insanity of losing BOTH my sons. I had them when I was 40 and almost 44. My worst nightmare has always been losing my children.

I have 2 Master's degrees, 3 teacher certifications, and speak six languages. I gave up the career I loved to become a stay-at-home mother. I am physically handicapped and knew I could not do both; I chose full-time motherhood. Both sons excelled in every school subject, were well-behaved and had a loving, happy childhood. They had both a toy workshop and a toy kitchen. I WAS A DAMN GOOD MOTHER.

I just can't feel bad for this overwrought drama queen. I think once you have seen a narcissistic parent in action close enough to realize the patterns and the damage done, you can't help but see the traits and be disgusted.

One last note of wussy drama. I have seen this one around before. She probably posted on 4thwavenow or one of those sites. This postscript is insane:

Since the time of this writing, the daughter has undergone a radial forearm phalloplasty. The the daughter would allow her mother to be present only on condition that she apologize to the surgeon for begging him not to do it.

How disgustingly cucked and weak would you have to be to actually apologize to the surgeon like that? It doesn't say that she did it, but it seems to imply she complied to get access to her daughter. "Just being a good mother who would do anything for her child!" No. Narc behavior. They will do anything for access to their supply. (Even troon out.)

 

[raritycat]

The "foggy brained" mom probably has some kind of neurasthenia, ie, female-specific affluenza disease like long covid, chronic lyme, fibromyalgia, whatever. Honestly is there even one of these loons who is working class or lower middle class or anything but "don't sit on the beige couch it's just for guests" Hyacinth Bucket-tier UMC striver?

One thing that's emerging is that a lot of these parents are on the older age. Goes with the UMC affluenza striver demographic. For instance Naren, here, mentions her trooned out daughter is 12 years younger than her siblings.



Bruh. And they are wusses. Just comically wussy old-ass boomer parents. Like the therapist says this to a 13 year old:



And Naren declaims how horrific this is in light of their family values. So what does she do?



A proper adult and parent could not only walk their kid out of an appointment where the "professional" is endorsing casual promiscuous sex, but tell the professional what they think of all that, and write a complaint to the professional board. This one can't even say "NO." She cries for hours, then takes the kid back for more, then has to make a gay excuse to get out of it.

Old parents have more autistic kids, almost certainly a factor with Paren here:



I just can't feel bad for this overwrought drama queen. I think once you have seen a narcissistic parent in action close enough to realize the patterns and the damage done, you can't help but see the traits and be disgusted.

One last note of wussy drama. I have seen this one around before. She probably posted on 4thwavenow or one of those sites. This postscript is insane:



How disgustingly cucked and weak would you have to be to actually apologize to the surgeon like that? It doesn't say that she did it, but it seems to imply she complied to get access to her daughter. "Just being a good mother who would do anything for her child!" No. Narc behavior. They will do anything for access to their supply. (Even troon out.)

On Naren:

• "Our first real sense that something was very wrong came when she butchered off most of her beautiful hair one day before school. This happened a few weeks after being the youngest performer in a teen-based music camp, which was the first time she was exposed to the LGBT community, as far was we were able to tell. We had noticed it while she was there. "
  • Alternative hypothesis: maybe she cut off her hair because she was sick of people (her mother included) being absolutely creepy about it. PL: I say this as someone with a narc mother, she's been dyeing her hair my colour (blond) since I was a teenager. When I dyed it red at 19, she had a panic attack..
• "Our second clue was when she refused to wear any “brands” or clothes that were nice. It was like she was embarrassed to have parents that had money to buy her nice things. We live on the beach, but it was a challenge to get her outside. She also developed a bizarre obsession with sunscreen. She wouldn’t go anywhere without it. She started to want to just stay in her room, or hanging out with her few friends in coffee shops, complaining about “white privilege” and how hard their lives were. "
  • She realized that other people have problems and that fast fashion is harmful to the environment, whoop-de-fucking-doo.
• "After she told us about being “trans”, we immediately made an appointment with the local pediatrician, who told us this happens sometimes if there is a trauma during pregnancy, and that she wished her daughter would have done this because she thinks she would have been happier as a male."
  • 
• "When we told her we were worried about how the kids at school will treat our daughter when school starts, she said the kids would be fine with it. And they were. Most kids didn’t talk to her anyway because she had alienated so many of them over the last year or so."
  • What about those friends she met up with at the coffee shop?
• The daughter clearly likes the therapist because this woman doesn't break down into histrionics every 5 minutes.
• "She also reminded us of the high suicide rate among children like ours. According to the counselor, it was never acceptable for us, as parents, to have any doubts about anything any of the ”experts” said, nor was it our place to question what our child was telling us. (So, if she identified as a giraffe, were we supposed to treat her as a giraffe? What if she believed she could fly?)"
  • In all fairness, your daughter was cutting herself no too long ago so she is at risk for 41%ing herself.
• "Suddenly, in the middle of the night we had a call from the police, and a visit for a “wellbeing” check. A friend of our daughter was worried that she had harmed herself when she didn’t hear back from her. (She had been talking to her friend with an old phone when the battery died mid-conversation.) This was a parent’s worst nightmare."
  • So you know your daughter super well and yet don't know that she talks to her friends about her suicidal ideations. Also, I want to reiterate the point about the mom acting like she doesn't have friends.
• "When I told her that I wanted her off the medication, she said that our daughter needed to be on even more! I refused to allow her to go on more drugs, so she told me that Ineeded to be on medication. Wow!"
  • Based
• "As parents, we are keeping her busy with things that she likes; more art classes, the school play, the school international trip, JROTC, more exercise, no time to just hang out, and no phone or internet!"
  • I mean, good for you for actually providing some practical solutions, but your kid still needs time to just hang out with friends authentically. I think this girl is going to retransition once she's out from under this mom.

Paren

• So she's an elderly disabled 2nd generation feminist who married a guy 8 years older than her who financially supported her and the massive debt she came in with?
• "I am revolted by my son's fake breasts and womanface. I am constantly angry and depressed. I am wracked with insomnia and health problems resulting from son's declaration that he is now a woman. "
• "I gave up the career I loved to become a stay-at-home mother. I am physically handicapped and knew I could not do both; I chose full-time motherhood."
  • I LOST MUH LEGS BECAUSE OF MUH TRANNY SON!
• "I have been told that I am a superb, highly-professional writer. I will use all my powers to help expose the horrors of the TRANS CULT; for it has all the hallmarks of a cult. "
  • Who told her that, her feminist zine friends?

On the last one, why doesn't she specify the trauma that her daughter went through, especially if she's on anon?

• "My once beautiful daughter is now nineteen years old, homeless, bearded, in extreme poverty, sterilized, not receiving mental health services, extremely mentally ill, and planning a radial forearm phalloplasty (a surgical procedure that removes part of her arm to construct a fake penis)."
  • Given all the trauma she allegedly went through, maybe sterilization is for the best. I mean, no offense, but your kid wasn't going to turn into a contributing member of society and any child she boar would be fucked from day 1.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

These people are so unbelievably checked out. I bring you Raren:

My young daughter, Leah, suddenly identified as “gender non-binary” at the young, vulnerable age of 10 years old, after a rough school year of cold teachers, extreme social isolation, being told of her autism diagnosis, hormonal changes, and lots of online research.

The 10 year old autist was doing "lots of online research." And Raren acts like this is just you know, a thing that happened, passively, in her presence. Not something that she, the parent, presided over.

In my daughter’s case, she is highly intellectually mature, but not emotionally or socially, and has been addicted to online chat rooms as source of support. She is quirky, socially awkward without any friends, suffers from anxiety, and is diagnosed with high-functioning Aspergers, which is on the autistic spectrum.

You know your child is emotionally immature and, in fact, suffers from a serious social communication disorder. But you let her, age 10- emotionally probably more like age 6 or 7, based on autists of a similar description- go online and (passive voice) become addicted to chat rooms.

At age 8, her pediatrician informed us that she had small “breast buds” and was developing very very light pubic hair. Rather than reacting with anxiety, she was incredibly excited about her bodily changes and was proud of becoming, as she put it “a real, grown woman!”

I physically recoil every time I read one of these mothers uncovering the nakedness of their innocent child in a public forum like this. They have NO sense that there is something deeply wrong about this, that this is a serious transgression of boundaries and propriety, yes, even if you are "anon."

At age 8 ½, her wonderful teachers advised me to tell Leah she was autistic due to her resistance to group speech therapy and constant questioning as to why she was a part of the special program. She had a hard time with it. She cried for weeks about wanting to be a “normal” kid and once tore her books and trashed her room out of the anger. It changed her profoundly. Soon after, she started researching the internet on autism, and discovered an online autistic community. She was able to accept her diagnosis by joining the “neurodiversity” movement. I ignorantly thought this was a positive development. At Leah’s encouragement, I blindly supported her on this, attending ASAN (Autistic Self-Advocacy Network) protests at Autism Speaks walks by my daughter’s side as she belched out phrases like “We’re people not puzzles” and “Autistic rights are human rights”, throwing a party for “weirdness, autism pride, introvert status, being creative, clumsy, and amazing” as we called it, designing t-shirts and tote bags like “I’m sorry you’re so normal” and “it’s okay, some of my close friends are neurotypical.”

What can you say? I don't think Raren could have bungled this worse if she'd tried. Stunning incompetence.

Leah’s worst year was last year, the fourth grade... She started the year on the wrong foot with her teachers, writing a well written essay questioning the whole special ed program. Instead of appreciating its merits at all, her teachers were upset.

lol

Mid-year Leah was suddenly falling asleep in class. We received weeks of calls telling us to pick her up. We took her to a neurologist who said nothing was wrong from a brain/neurological viewpoint. It took our perceptive, beloved nanny to discover that she was up on social media at all hours of night, which explained the school fatigue.

"Beloved, perceptive nanny." This kid has two parents and a full time nursemaid and it took a big brainstorming session to figure out what the fuck she's doing at all hours of the night. In FOURTH GRADE.

I spoke with Leah’s trusted psychotherapist, who she has been seeing since 3 years old to address autism and anxiety issues, about this, and found out that she and Leah had been talking about this a month before she “came out” to me, and she had blindly affirmed and encouraged her to purchase solely unisex clothing at malls, request gender neutral bathrooms, and change her name to Alex.

A FOURTH GRADER does not purchase clothing for herself. It doesn't buy itself. Some adult (besides the dumb therapist) was cooperating with this, somehow.

A few weeks after, our in-laws visited. To my shock, they let Alex cut her hair into a boy-short mess, without my consent or knowledge. Her psychotherapist was on board with this, and told me I needed to do a better job of supporting my kid through the “social transitioning” process and the grandparents had done a brilliant job “affirming” her.

Inlaws are in on it, maybe dad is too? Who knows? This Raren chick is so out to lunch she doesn't know what's going on in her own house, with her own family, and has to ask the nanny. I would love to know what she occupies her time with that is so much more important.

(I still refer to her most of the time using her preferred name. It is PART of the name we gave her at birth, and it IS technically on her birth certificate.)

cuck cuck cuck cuck

helped her pick out clothes that felt comfortable to her and matched her unisex style. I covered the mirror when she showered so she wouldn’t have to see her body, at the suggestion of her therapist.

ah.

I cried every night, mourning the loss of my perfectly female daughter. I coped with it by staying up until 4 every night, drawing and posting to Facebook. I was jealous of my husband, who seemed to have completely accepted her trans identity. I struggled.

Out of the blue, in a taxi one day, she proclaimed with a tear in her eye “I believe in the afterlife. It’s a better place.” We are non-believers and super non-religious Jews, so discussion of the afterlife and saying it was a better place was very concerning.

She became cold and detached to her 3.5 year-old sister, found everything we said to her “infantilizing” and condescending

A clearer picture coming together...taxi means they probably live in NYC. Secular Jews horrified at the mere prospect of their child searching for deeper meaning than work a white collar professional job to keep up with the Cohen-Joneses and pay a nanny to raise your children. A late in life youngest child- maybe a second marriage.

These people are from a factory.

 

[Noble Redditor]

You talk to them about it and contextualize what they see. Explain that changing biological sex is currently impossible and people claiming otherwise are delusional.

It's so much more than that though. It's not just a child saying their kindergarten teacher says they need to start transitioning. That's bad, but easy enough to defuse in most cases I would imagine. I'm talking about the full on assault of sexual and LGBT propaganda swarming from every direction. Cereal boxes, cartoons, clothing for infants, music, advertisements and probably toys too. We are going to start seeing trans children on Huggies boxes. Cabbage Patch dolls will have accessories for "front surgery". Lego already has gay shit prominently featured. I'm sure the R&D team at Hot Wheels and Nerf are racking their brains trying to figure out how to teach kids about butt stuff.

Teen Vogue magazine (marketed to pre teens) has already done at least one story about proper ways to have anal sex. I know nobody reads magazines anymore but it was a featured story on Snapchat too - on Easter morning - and millions of people engaged with it.

It's actually getting really absurd that people are throwing around the word homophobe when you attempt to push back against this stuff because the homosexuality element is only one aspect the much bigger issue that is teaching children about sex and sexual things when they are way too young. It gives me a very bleak outlook. Even if I raise my kids the "right way," every single thing is looking to corrupt them horribly. Even the churches.

 

[raritycat]

@Larry David's Opera Cape

More Raren quotes:

• "Growing up, Leah was a happy, very feminine girl, obsessed with princesses, melodically belting out lyrics to “Let It Go” from Frozen, loved dressing up, identified as a radical feminist, and hung out with mostly other girls. When I briefly mentioned the concept of trans identity to her at age 7 after she had heard the word on TV, she expressed disgust at the idea and declared that “girls and boys are born girls and boys, that’s as complicated as it will ever be.”"
  • Identifying as a radical feminist is not a normal girlhood experience, ma'am.
• "The summer after fourth grade, Leah, after an emotional discussion about puberty and the approaching of her period, suddenly announced she was non-binary, that she hated being a girl, that she had trouble showering because she didn’t want to see her breasts and vagina, and that she wanted puberty blockers, to bind her breasts, and to eventually take testosterone and get chest surgery."
  • In all fairness, she was a 10 year old going through puberty faster than her peers and was surrounded by SPEDs all day. This could have been a good moment to sit her down and talk to her about how her feelings drastically changed since the onset of puberty and ask her if anything happened online or at school that she was not comfortable with.
• "I remember that first conversation we had, I had asked Leah “You were extremely girly and loved being female your whole life, so why would you suddenly believe you are not? It just doesn’t line up.” To this she replied “It’s not sudden. I just had internalized transphobia and didn’t know you could be that way because everyone was making me be a girl, so I was masking my authentic self. You can’t understand because you’re a binary cis woman, anyway. I don’t like binary cis women.” "
  • That isn't the question you need to ask. You need to center it on puberty. Ironically, your daughter gave you a Freudian slip in the end- she was raised a radical feminist but quickly realized that the blind worship of girls/women is retarded since many of them are dicks (the 4 general education girls, the teachers, etc.).
• "She was unable to give me a logical and scientifically sound answer as to why she felt this way. All she could say was “I know it inside”. Then I patiently explained the differences between belief and knowledge, gently told her she was still in exploration mode, and urged her to be cautious with this and to not tell anyone at her new middle school."
  • She's 10. The sort of thinking you're demanding of her wouldn't actually manifest for another 4-8 years.
• "The second day of school, Alex’s principal called to notify me that Alex had come up to her and asked her for a nonbinary bathroom because she would be too “dysphoric” if she had to use the girls’ restroom. Rather than questioning her on this or giving her the harsh reality, she hopped on board right away, letting my daughter use an unmarked teacher restroom without my knowledge. "
  • Again, I really think those 4 little gen ed shits might be a reason why she's avoiding the girl's room. Don't need to act little little angels where no one else can see you.
• " She became cold and detached to her 3.5 year-old sister, found everything we said to her “infantilizing” and condescending, and refused to speak to us (or anybody, really) about anything"
  • Sounds like puberty to me

Tl;dr: what sprung out to me in this story was the elements of radical feminism and the very clear girl on girl bullying that was happening. Mommy dearest isn't asking the right questions because she's a part of her own cult.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

• • Identifying as a radical feminist is not a normal girlhood experience, ma'am.
• "I remember that first conversation we had, I had asked Leah “You were extremely girly and loved being female your whole life, so why would you suddenly believe you are not? It just doesn’t line up.” To this she replied “It’s not sudden. I just had internalized transphobia and didn’t know you could be that way because everyone was making me be a girl, so I was masking my authentic self. You can’t understand because you’re a binary cis woman, anyway. I don’t like binary cis women.” "
  • That isn't the question you need to ask. You need to center it on puberty. Ironically, your daughter gave you a Freudian slip in the end- she was raised a radical feminist but quickly realized that the blind worship of girls/women is retarded since many of them are dicks (the 4 general education girls, the teachers, etc.).

This stood out to me too. Like the only way to escape the idealized version of women and sisterhood her mother hammers her with is to opt out. "The only winning move is not to play." That is some 4-d chess shit for a 4th grader, this kid is clearly intelligent. Of course ultimately it is self-defeating but she's trying her best, with her limited abilities, to resist something she correctly senses to be insane and toxic.

• "She was unable to give me a logical and scientifically sound answer as to why she felt this way. All she could say was “I know it inside”. Then I patiently explained the differences between belief and knowledge, gently told her she was still in exploration mode, and urged her to be cautious with this and to not tell anyone at her new middle school."
  • She's 10. The sort of thinking you're demanding of her wouldn't actually manifest for another 4-8 years.

These people are parents but they are so awkward around kids it reminds me of this programmer autist cousin of mine who makes Mr. Data look like Mr. Rodgers. He talks to 4 year olds in the family as though they were the guy in the next cubicle over, and when they stare back at him, bewildered, he gets anxious and leaves. He can't seem to talk himself down like most adults do, and realize "hey this is just a young human at an earlier stage of development, you were one too." It gets easier to relate to kids if you spend time with them- these parents don't do that. And they are parents. They farm out the care and do everything possible to avoid their kids. That's the root of this tragedy.

Tonight I read Darren, a rare male specimen. One thing these people have in common that reads as narcissistic is that they are eager to overshare certain inappropriate things (what their kids' privates looked like at age while getting oddly vague and cagey about likely far more relevant details:

My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer when our daughter was 9-years-old. Although breast cancer was foremost in our minds after the diagnosis, it was only one of many medical conditions that my wife suffered over the last years of her life. My wife died when my daughter was 12-years-old. A good death, if there is such a thing, would have been bad enough. My wife did not have a good death. There were many unnecessary layers of trauma inflicted on my daughter surrounding my wife’s illness and death.

What does this mean? The wife had mental health problems? She died while home alone with the child? What? Why mention it like this if you aren't going to say?

Even before my wife’s illness, I had been my daughter’s primary caregiver for most of her life. Shortly after our daughter’s birth, my wife returned to work, and I began my career as a free-lancer.

Hmm...

My daughter did spend a lot of time on the internet in the months after her mother’s death. I was aware of it, but felt that if we continued our candid relationship that it was better that she experience social media while I could still help her work through the pitfalls. Due to her mother’s illness, she had been given a cell phone while still in grade school. This isn’t something that I would have allowed normally, but we were not in what I considered to be a normal situation.

Let's speak candidly here- this was to keep her out of his hair as he had other things on his mind.

My daughter started counseling about two years before my wife died. She was ten-and-a-half, and the counselling was aimed at helping her deal with her mother’s illness. She continued seeing a counselor through my wife’s death, and then stopped shortly thereafter.

Why would you stop then? Odd reasoning from this guy. I feel like he's not telling the story honestly.

A couple of months after beginning to cut herself, my daughter made a new female friend that was transgender and had changed her name. Like my daughter, this girl had no masculine behaviors or characteristics. Within a month, my daughter asked me to call her by a different name. I said that I would consider it. She said that she was going to change her name at school, and was in the process of telling her teachers. A few days later, I told her I’ve decided to continue calling her by her given name and I explained why. For their part, the school changed her name and gender on her official records without even notifying me.

And what did you do about that, big guy? Oh- nothing. Other than pedantically "explain my reasoning" and feel very smart.

She has been taking anti-psychotics since her trip to the hospital. She has been provisionally diagnosed as having Borderline Personality Disorder. The diagnosis is provisional because, technically, minors cannot be diagnosed with mental disorders.

Antipsychotics for provisional BPD. And hallucinations, which are not a typical part of BPD presentation (there is a provision for some thought disorder, mostly paranoid ideation, during times of extreme stress, but regular hallucinations requiring dopamine receptor antagonist meds- no.)

At age 16 ½ my daughter made an announcement to the whole family via text message that she was a transgender male who was using male pronouns. She didn’t send the text to me: just to the rest of the family. As far as I know, they are all going along with this. Only one person even bothered to tell me that they would now be using that name and those pronouns. No one even felt it necessary to call and ask what I thought would be best. It isn’t for nothing that I’m calling her by her given name and matching pronouns.

Who are these people? Your parents? Your inlaws? He whines like a little bitch about them going over his head but again he does nothing.

I took a step back and asked her, “OK, since I don’t know what a boy is, what do you consider to be a boy?” She said, “Someone who wants people to refer to them using masculine pronouns.” That was it. That is the only thing that divides male from female: a desire to be referred to using masculine pronouns.

Damn we need to bring back psychodynamic theory. This child lost her mother, and her father is a limp wristed nudnik. She is rejecting both of them to protect her wounded self from further injury and disappointment. She has decided to make her own man, and make that man in a feminine image- replacing both mother and father, who she perceives (correctly, in a primitive way) as having abandoned her.

 

[Montalbane]

Zero simpathy for these "parents".
Nigger,you encouraged your spawn to be as weird and as autistic as humanly possible because in your rotted brain weird=awesome.
When in reality weird means being ostracized because people don't want to deal with basket cases.
You made sure that your kids became as estranged and lonely as humanly possible and willingly fed them to the establishment that wants to become trannies (aka lifelong medical patients and rabid political cultists.)

YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE.

 

[PipTheAlchemist]

"The worst part was his laundry basket filled with the khaki pants and polos he wore before his awful stereotypical female wardrobe."

So you had your kid dress like a dork throughout his teenage years and now you wonder why he expresses himself as a crossdresser? Most high schools have public instagrams these days that showcase some of their more accomplished/socially well-adjusted students if you want insight into how kids actually dress, Linda.

My nigga, what are you talking about? Poloshirts are the uniform of chads. They aren't dorky in the slightest. Even if they were, changing the kid's wardrobe to clothes that "socially well-adjusted" students wear will not automatically turn that kid into a socially-adjusted normie. That's not how it works

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Alrighty get out your analysis couches because this is a good one. Taren sings us a song of woe about her daughter Olivia.

Olivia was a quiet and reserved as a little girl. She was thoughtful and sensitive even as a young child. I always tried to raise her in a way that let her know she didn’t need to be constrained by sex stereotypes. I made sure to buy her gender-neutral toys, for example, and I let her choose her own clothes always.

Reading between the lines- this was a quiet and feminine child but the mother tried to shove gender neutrality on her.

I have never paid much attention to looking feminine – that just wasn’t a value in our house. I have always worked in a male dominated field, so I felt I provided a good role model for her. Nevertheless, she went through a range of “typical” girl interests – horses, ballet, dolls. She preferred quiet play with other girls.

Yep. Taren thinks being mannish, in a man's profession, being dudely equals good. To be a "good role model," a mother must be manly. And implicitly, being feminine (horses, ballet, dolls) is disappointing.

Olivia’s dad was never in the picture, so I raised her solo, and we were always close.

Yeah here we are...

Imagine Olivia is a naturally feminine child who wants to grow up to be a wife and mother. Her single feminist "male dominated profession" mom would never accept it. We see looming another case of "the only way to win is not to play."

And then Taren does something absolutely insane and despicable:

When Liv was 12, I got married to David, and Liv and I moved in with him and Carl, his 16-year-old son. That was a hard transition for Olivia. In hindsight, early adolescence and middle school was probably the worst possible time to expect Olivia to adjust to having a step dad and step brother.

No fucking duh, you insensitive git.

Carl was having behavioral problems that created a lot of stress in the house, and I see now that Liv began to retreat around that time.

A 16 year old boy with some sort of "behavioral problems" is what you imposed on your daughter at the most vulnerable time of female psychosexual development? Oh do tell more...

Liv started spending more time alone, always on the computer. Because of Carl’s issues with porn, we had parental controls on all devices, so I could see where Liv was spending her time online.

A 16 year old boy with behavior problems and a porn addiction, you say? Well gosh. I wonder why she felt the need to cut off her feminine features after being literally imprisoned with this strange young man.

There's a twist to this one- because they had the internet locked down do to his porn problem they were able to quickly cut her off of all her troon websites, tumblr, etc. And so she stopped and moved on. Lucky for them. But I highly doubt this poor kid is completely unscathed.

 

[raritycat]

My nigga, what are you talking about? Poloshirts are the uniform of chads. They aren't dorky in the slightest. Even if they were, changing the kid's wardrobe to clothes that "socially well-adjusted" students wear will not automatically turn that kid into a socially-adjusted normie. That's not how it works

Chad makes anything he wears chad.

And you're right, wearing the clothes that socially well-adjusted kids wear won't automatically make him into a normie- but mommy being the one to dress him wasn't going to do that either. He needed to get that middle school Hot Topic phase out of the way and bare the consequences before adjusting to a more mature self.

Since there were only about 80 kids in the school, it was very obvious to me that seven kids in transition represented an extraordinary percentage of kids, and that there was significant social contagion going on there. I elected to send Liv to the public high school, where there were lots of different kinds of kids. The public school also had lots and lots of extracurricular activities.

Taren proves to be one of the few non-narc parents on this site. She recognizes her mistakes and takes ownership of them and also realizes that the best solution is to get your kids surrounded by opportunity in both peer relationships and activities.

 

[PipTheAlchemist]

He needed to get that middle school Hot Topic phase out of the way and bare the consequences before adjusting to a more mature self.

He could do that shit in his adulthood

 

[raritycat]

He could do that shit in his adulthood

Which is what he is doing and the mom is bitching about, albeit with the added troon element.

 

[Cringe newfag]

This is really fascinating. Thanks for putting so much effort into these breakdowns. Few people would ever stop to think and actually look at it sceptically from this angle, and it's opening up things i'd never considered before.

I wonder though. Are these truly representative of the average ROGD parent? Or is there an additional filter to some extent. Where normal people aren't going to share their sob story to the world, whereas someone narcissistic or maladjusted will seek out a platform and dump TMI. The kind of person who would avoid confrontation with a therapist or anything else constructive, but then complain uselessly online fishing for asspats. Obviously it would be a factor, but I just wonder how much. Are there 99 invisible normal ROGD parents for every one person like these, or is it more like 33% are like this and 67% are normal. 50%? More? Are blameless parents a minority, even?

(blameless in the sense of being otherwise normal people with healthy relationships who just made the mistake of letting the kid go online or go to school and then had events run away from them with no chance to stop it, like how these people try to pretend they are)

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

This is really fascinating. Thanks for putting so much effort into these breakdowns. Few people would ever stop to think and actually look at it sceptically from this angle, and it's opening up things i'd never considered before.

I wonder though. Are these truly representative of the average ROGD parent? Or is there an additional filter to some extent. Where normal people aren't going to share their sob story to the world, whereas someone narcissistic or maladjusted will seek out a platform and dump TMI. The kind of person who would avoid confrontation with a therapist or anything else constructive, but then complain uselessly online fishing for asspats. Obviously it would be a factor, but I just wonder how much. Are there 99 invisible normal ROGD parents for every one person like these, or is it more like 33% are like this and 67% are normal. 50%? More? Are blameless parents a minority, even?

(blameless in the sense of being otherwise normal people with healthy relationships who just made the mistake of letting the kid go online or go to school and then had events run away from them with no chance to stop it, like how these people try to pretend they are)

These are all good questions. From personal observations, the majority of ROGD parents are if not as extreme as these specimens, at least similar in a lot of ways. Narcissistic, needy (ie need validation and attention from their kids and from people in general), oblivious, affluent. There are exceptions of course but as a trend I'd say it's gotta be at least 50% of the kids are coming from affluent Karen/Daren parents (Karents) who are obsessed with status and appearances.

That makes a lot of sense- troonery is itself about status and appearance fixation, and trooning out in their peer group these days represents a massive status boost.

Here's another one- Varen and Waren, a lesbian couple, one of whom is a doctor, and who goes to great pains to explain to us how comfortable, privileged, affluent, and liberal they are. "We did everything right, we are the right kind of people, we don't deserve to have our vision and plans disrupted and derailed by this unpleasantness" is once again very much the implied tone.

After a long day seeing patients, I returned home to find my daughter gone and a note left in her place: “Dear Moms, I’m trans. I’m not the child you thought you had…” Signed, “Your Son, Dylon.”

The letter struck like a thunderbolt out of the blue. We are both highly educated, liberal-leaning professionals, but neither of us would have expected this!

...She enjoyed a fairly privileged lifestyle and an extraordinary education at an elite, all-girls private school.
Initially, we were empathic and sensitive to our daughter’s feelings. We wanted to encourage her wish to be different and to make a bold statement about her identity. Oddly, this only made her angrier, more defensive, and more withdrawn.

Elite GIRLS school, mom and mom's girlfriend want to "encourage her to be different and make a bold statement"- well being a boy among girls would do that.

She had dreams of becoming a professional dancer and she had the talent to do it. Now, she has traded hours of dance training for hours of seclusion, roaming the internet for “friends” who know more about her “authentic self” than her parents do. She has exchanged her pointe shoes for a chest binder, her ballerina bun for a buzz cut. She has sacrificed real relationships for virtual ones.

Two years of lost time.

For those who think lesbians can never be objectifying of their daughters, take a close look at this narrative. Even the title, "my beautiful dancer" speaks volumes. And while it's natural to be upset about trooning out, Varen here seems mostly upset that her pretty little object made herself less pretty, and seems to view any time not spent being a "beautiful dancer" as thrown away. This is typical narc parent attitude.

Images of her as a boy torture me. All I see is darkness.

Again, it's natural and normal to be upset by the trooning out but this wording is hysterical- this woman is not simply grounded in the reality of "you can't really change your sex," she's having an emotional breakdown about "images."

Being some overachieving dyke's idealized image of femininity is a horrible burden for a 14 year old girl. She felt smothered and wanted to escape. This is one way to do that.

 

[LurkNoMore]

"My Beautiful Dancer"

Until she was 14, she was a happy girl who enjoyed dancing, hanging out with her girlfriends, wearing make-up, and looking forward to getting her ears pierced. She enjoyed a fairly privileged lifestyle and an extraordinary education at an elite, all-girls private school.

At first, she was a lesbian, then she was “gender fluid”, then she was a boy.

I wonder how much this fixation on being a boy is born from the idea that she was always intended to be gay by her parents and she isn't. That her interactions with other girls in an all girl and probably female dominated staff has led her to different conclusions on how sweet and innocence women are and how icky and horrible men are. I wonder how much exposure to boys and men and most importantly father figures, she has had in her short life.

I told her that it’s unsafe to dorm with men or use their restroom. I’m not sure she believed me.

And girls aren't? Sounds like the daughter got the men are dangerous line growing up as often as possible. She wants to be a boy to feel safe after the years of progagnda shoved into her brain by her "mothers." Especially given her desire to be around men at college. I wonder if she has ever met her biological father. I wonder what other abuse has been going on...

At school and at church, well-meaning but misguided educators told us we had to respect our daughter’s wishes.

You wanted an accepting, no doubt feminist environment to raise your mini-me in. Sounds like you got what you wanted.

Images of her as a boy torture me. All I see is darkness. My happy little girl swallowed up by some malevolent dark force that ensnared and brainwashed her.

I can sympathize with this line to an extent. I glad I don't have this problem that parents with trans kids have. What I can't sympathize with is the overblown hysteria of it. "All I see is darkness," good lord. Perhaps she would not want to be a boy if you hadn't insisted on making men out to be savage beasts. I mean, imagine implying one of the safest environments (colleges) in the modern world is dangerous because men are there.

Eventually, the real world caught up with our daughter. She was fired from her first acting job for acting like a boy when she was expressly told not to by her director. I found myself dancing with glee. Finally, she was held accountable. Her choices weren’t justified as part of her transgender identity.

What a dumb bitch. She got fired because she failed to play the part they wanted played, not because she thinks she's a boy! There have been countless sex swaped performances. Hell, feminists for some reason feel the need to co-opt men's stories and replace the entire cast with women. That director probably thinks its okay for her to identify as a boy, so long as she plays the part she was hired to play! Second, what an asshole. Your daughter did something you wanted her to do and when she gets fired from it, you "dance with glee." The correct, adult, response would have been to sit your daughter down and explain that when you get hired for a job, you are there to do what the employer wants. Not what you want. You would think a "professional" woman, in a relationship with another "professional" woman would be fucking professional.

This story was posted four years ago. The daughter should be about 18 or 19. I wonder how it turned out. If daughter dearest finally came out as straight to her parents. If she went all the way and fucked herself up.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

"My Beautiful Dancer"


I wonder how much this fixation on being a boy is born from the idea that she was always intended to be gay by her parents and she isn't. That her interactions with other girls in an all girl and probably female dominated staff has led her to different conclusions on how sweet and innocence women are and how icky and horrible men are. I wonder how much exposure to boys and men and most importantly father figures, she has had in her sort life.

This line stood out to me:

"I’m not the child you thought you had."

A theme that comes up again and again with narcissistic parents like this is that the child is suffocating under the weight of the narcissist's "vision" for who the child is or must be. The narcissist sees the kid as an extension of herself and truly believes that whatever her vision is for the kid, that's who the kid truly is and falling short of that vision is like dying. It's overwrought and hysterical and insane, and yet I see it all too often.

A kid saying "I'm not the child you thought you had" is desperately trying to carve out some breathing room for herself, through whatever mad flailing clown world tells her will work to "be yourself."

 

[raritycat]

I wonder though. Are these truly representative of the average ROGD parent? Or is there an additional filter to some extent. Where normal people aren't going to share their sob story to the world, whereas someone narcissistic or maladjusted will seek out a platform and dump TMI. The kind of person who would avoid confrontation with a therapist or anything else constructive, but then complain uselessly online fishing for asspats. Obviously it would be a factor, but I just wonder how much. Are there 99 invisible normal ROGD parents for every one person like these, or is it more like 33% are like this and 67% are normal. 50%? More? Are blameless parents a minority, even?

(blameless in the sense of being otherwise normal people with healthy relationships who just made the mistake of letting the kid go online or go to school and then had events run away from them with no chance to stop it, like how these people try to pretend they are)

The only way we'll get a comprehensive picture is if more people involved in the situation start talking about it from all angles. Not just the parents, but also teachers, other family members, peers, and the kids themselves. Unfortunately, the only angle everyone seems to be taking is against the "gender ideology" which is overly simplistic in my opinion. It really does remind me of the way that people in eating disorder spaces online talk about family therapy and how it puts everything on the person with the ED instead of allowing there to be room for them to confront family on the things they said or did. There's no give and take.

Until I see even one ROGD parent who (a) has their own defined hobbies and interests outside of their child (watching TV doesn't count) and real friends they hang out with, (b) doesn't micromanage and curate their child's real life friend group (including forcing them to be friends with "good" kids they want to separate from), (c) doesn't micromanage their child's hobbies and interests (including tearing down posters, preventing the child from having a personal sense of style, etc.), and (d) can take ownership and responsibility for their mistakes, then my go to is that they are all responsible to some extent.

From the dykes:

In theory, therapists are trained to look for unseen causes of behavior, to help their clients consider their motivations, and to understand the context of their feelings and decisions. They are also trained to consider the developmental level of their client, and use it to inform their treatment approach. They know that trying on and experimenting with new identities is a necessary and important part of adolescence.

As adults, we know this, too. We can look back on our own adolescence and remember how strongly we held on to beliefs, tastes or ideas that we were certain would last forever, only to cast them aside when the next big thing came along.

(my interpretation was that OP is a therapist herself) Therapists are also trained to ask questions around the issue instead of directly, to chip away at things to help their client see other perspectives. Why don't you implement some of that technique yourself to figure out what your daughter is thinking instead of just breaking into hysterics.

And on the topic of adolescence, we can also look back and have clearer explanations for what we were trying to express back then. Not everyone acted like they had a personality disorder as a teenager. Some people still hold on to the things that were important to them because they helped shape their personhood. While the transition may be a phase, the motivations that led her there are not.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

(my interpretation was that OP is a therapist herself)

Probably correct extrapolation from what she wrote. I hesitated to assume as much because she talked about a "male dominated" profession and therapy is if anything the opposite these days. But I failed to account for the victim mentality and how it distorts perception.

Parental Unit Xaren writes like a robot who does not understand the first thing about normal humans but not before assuring us she is a liberal:

I have said from the start that my child being transgender is a symptom of the underlying mental health challenges she faces. Please know that our family is very accepting and open minded. We are not “transphobic” and are accepting/supportive of the LGBTQ community. The following is our story.

This child is adopted and being raised among the author's biological kids:

She is one of our four children, two of whom are our biological children. She and one sibling are adopted. We have always been open about adoption and she has always struggled with wanting to know more about her birth family.

There is a lot to unpack in this little blurb:

The infant who came home as a one day old baby, grew to be a spit fire, self assured and courageous. In grade school, she sang a solo with close to 900 people watching, something I couldn’t ever dream of being able to do. She was a fierce protector of her younger sister and tried new sports/activities all the time.

Coming home at one day old, gonna guess not USA for this one. Xaren making such a big deal out of a little kid singing a solo at a school concert or something like that is typical narc parent fodder. You'd better react as emotively as mom when she brings up what a BIG DEAL it was when you did NOT SUCH AN UNUSUAL THING at a TOTALLY EXPECTED AGE. Again and again and again- it proves she's special, I mean, it proves you're special, and aren't you grateful she noticed?

Also protecting her sister- from who or what? Hmm...

During 7th grade she entered into a partial hospitalization program for severe depression, anxiety and cutting. This was when we became more aware of her transgender thinking. She met a female-to-male (ftm) friend there and proclaimed her love after knowing this person for only two days. This is a good example of how quickly our child can attach to people and ideas.

No, this is a good example of how pretty much all middle schoolers operate. Don't you remember being that age? People would "get together" and "break up" in the span of two weeks. A couple who had been "going steady" for 3 months was like an old married couple.

Anyhow just incidentally slipping that hospitalization in there. Twelve years old and you've been adopted out and become the "protector" of your younger sister, and now you're ready to unalive- what happened in between? Something happened.

Because of inpatient treatment she hasn’t lived at home for nearly two years and many people don’t know specifics about her journey.

Yikes dawg. It's not easy to get your middle schooler checked in full time to the Bell Jar Academy these days. They shipped her out- either they have a ton of cash laying around or the kid was removed from their custody.

Our child withdrew from her friends and family over a period of a year and a half. She switched to a new school in middle school and all reports were that she interacted well with lots of different kids. Throughout sixth and seventh grade, she began trying on different personas, ranging from very feminine to emo. In retrospect, there were small indicators that she struggled socially at times but nothing that seemed out of the norm of growing up.

But this is during the same time period when she must have been becoming acutely ill with the mental illness that resulted in her being institutionalized! You can't claim that everything was fine except some bad emo fashion AND that your child was in the middle of cracking up during that time.

Over time, many more connections were made online with incredibly dysfunctional people. She became engrossed in the online world far more than we were aware (at the time one of her sisters was in a deep depression and a grandparent was terminally ill). In short, she is very adept at finding ways to be online and hiding her trail. She made many friends online we didn’t know, was secretive and very connected with the Cosplay (dressing up as characters) and transgender worlds. This led to being disconnected from most school friends.

"Connections were made"- grammar experts need to rename this the Narcissist's Passive Voice. It happened on your watch, Xaren, but you weren't watching. Or you'd farmed her out already, but I doubt the full time funny farm for kids allows unsupervised internet.

And the sister was depressed too? Is this the one who she "protected"? Who raped the two of them? Er, I mean, that's odd.

Regarding family, she had a great deal conflict with her older brother growing up and desperately wanted attention from him. I wonder if this plays into the desire to be a boy.

A lot not being said, here.

She loved her long hair until junior high. When she was a toddler she went so far as to cut her sisters hair really short because it was “her thing” to have the beautiful long hair.

And here. This isn't typical sibling shit.