Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

 

[Staffy]

 

[John Carmack]

 

[GoodFattyDeadFatty]

I'm 1 minute in and already can't handle it. Fat stupid hypocrite is giving advice he can't even follow himself. "Stop buying junk food. Stop buying everything that's been prepared for you."
What about all the garbage he inhales on FatOnTheGo? Surely he can't still be pretending to eat only 1 bite/give it away to the homeless.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Jack's advice:

1. Don't shop hungry
2. Stop buying soda because "it's an addiction" and "it's horrible for your body"
3. Stop buying junk food
4. Stop buying prepared food
5. "I'm not here to tell you what to eat, what not to eat"
6. "I haven't ordered dessert unless I'm videotaping a show"
7. "If you don't have the money, don't go out"
8. Buy things that will last, eg. rice and beans. (And keep them in your garage for years on end without eating them?)
9. "Your freezer is going to become your best friend"
10. This is fucking rich: "I don't walk that well so sometimes I may need... If I'm tired, my one leg gets a little weak, so I may need a cart, and I notice that when you look at people in a cart, look in their basket - don't judge them, love them - but realize, the stuff in their basket is why they're in the cart. Every cart I look at's got donuts, soda, and chips, nothing but horrible food for your body, is in the cart, and the guy or the girl is in the cart, because they can't walk, or they're too big."
11. "I'm not here to tell you what food's good, what food's not good"
12. Stop eating out, because you have no idea what ingredients they're using
13. I only order dessert when it's really special and I want to show you guys

 

[Quixotic Man]

I really, really hope that is just another towel but I have seen that video where he reuses a bloodied plate he didn't bother to rinse with water, I would not be surprised if that is the same towel.
Video in question where he commits this heinous crime: Lazy Man's Pot Roast
View attachment 3382738
EDIT: Note: Seasoned with half a packet of salt and black pepper.

Pot roast is already the Lazy Man's pot roast. You put meat in liquid in the oven until its tender. There is next to no effort involved. That sauce is dismal though.

Also Ark Encounter is the sister tourist trap to the Creation Museum. Same people behind it. Can't wait to hear more about Jack's very literal interpretation of the Bible.

Edit: Dinosaurs in pens exhibit at the Ark Encounter. This is what Jack Scalfani actually believes.

 

[captkrisma]

Jack mentions stop buying energy drinks. Meanwhile he has a 24 case of Bang's in his garage...

EDIT: Way to tell everyone you're going to be gone from your home for an extended period if time, especially given that your address is widely available across multiple platforms.

 

[Aaway]

"if you don't have the money, don't go out"

*unless you have a spouse who is willing to let you leach off them constantly

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

“Don’t spend money on stuff you don’t need”

 

[Bumwine]

as if jack didn't already look and act like a special needs kid, wearing a hat with his own bitmoji on it is the cherry on top

View attachment 3381197

For some reason, it reminded me of this ( it doesn't help that the kid looks like Jack with alopecia)

 

[Tingle]

Turns out Jack's always had a way with words.

View attachment 3381297

Transcript of Jack's first stroke, or high school yearbook quote? You decide!

 

[Neko GF]

Archive (720p):

 

[rubytintedchix]

What he’s doing in this video is basically regurgitating everything that Mommywife yelled at him about and using it to gaslight his viewers. He mentioned to stop drinking soda about 65 times. So she must have yelled at him about the Bang hoard out in the garage. Could also explain why he’s been drinking Gatorades (which are not any healthier).

 

[DeadwastePrime]

Edit: Dinosaurs in pens exhibit at the Ark Encounter. This is what Jack Scalfani actually believes.

i want to go here

 

[Charlie Delicious]

No prepared food

Meanwhile in every video:
Disgusting jarred garlic
Pre shredded starch coated cheese
All kinds of pre cut vegetables
Store bought bbq rubs (overpriced variations of salt, sugar, paprika, chili powder, and pepper)
Pre made chicken stock.
More pre shredded cheese! The man has never seen a block of good cheese in his life. Italian indeed.

 

[Jack of the Lantern]

Pot roast is already the Lazy Man's pot roast. You put meat in liquid in the oven until its tender. There is next to no effort involved. That sauce is dismal though.

Also Ark Encounter is the sister tourist trap to the Creation Museum. Same people behind it. Can't wait to hear more about Jack's very literal interpretation of the Bible.

Edit: Dinosaurs in pens exhibit at the Ark Encounter. This is what Jack Scalfani actually believes.

View attachment 3383928

Jack couldn't pull Ken Ham (the Ark and Creation Museum guy), but he did get Kent Hovind (a fairly infamous young-Earth creationist who has a dinosaur theme park and was jailed for tax fraud) onto Eye to Eye a while back. If anyone wants to know what Jack believes about early human history and a very literal interpretation of Genesis, here you go.

Jack also gave a solo ramble on the references to Unicorns and Dinosaurs in the Bible which is somewhat related. His conclusion: Adam lived for 900 years (or was that Methuselah?) so who's to say that he didn't live in the "dinosaur age?" Case closed.

Spoiler: Archives

Creation vs Evolution Parts 1 & 2

Unicorns & Dinosaurs in the Bible

 

[Whatthefuck]

i want to go here

Save your fucking money. Go to a science museum.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

An archive of Jack's commercial work for his 3R1Productions LARP.

Spoiler: 3R1Productions

Pantel TV Internet Video - Sep 6, 2010

View attachment 3383041

Cedrus Sauna Internet Commercial - Sep 6, 2010

View attachment 3382998

Knots Berry Farm Studio K / Cloud 9 Reunion Party Commercial #1 - Jan 25, 2011

View attachment 3383001

Knott's Studio K Commercial #3 - Mar 15, 2011

View attachment 3383719

Interestingly, the subscribed-to channels were left public on the 3R1Productions page, so we can see that 2010-era Jack was following (among others) Andy Milonakis, the Orange County GOP, uberbubblefilms run by Glenn Scott Lacey who wrote Jack's old intro and maybe the Fart-Fart song, as well as LadyYumYumShow who did several collabs with Jack, and even shilled his sauce as a "recommended" ingredient in her BBQ Tofu Tacos.

View attachment 3383087
View attachment 3383280
The wendigo wept.

We all know Jagoff is a retard but the fact one of his friends had a show called, "LadyYumYum" screams that more than anything else.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Late breaking news: Our last remaining copyright strike for Episode 49 of “The Boys’ Club” has been reversed. We are now back to 0.

Your move, Jagoff.

Once I get home from work I’ll restore all of the remaining hidden episodes for public viewing once again.

 

[Quixotic Man]

Jack couldn't pull Ken Ham (the Ark and Creation Museum guy), but he did get Kent Hovind (a fairly infamous young-Earth creationist who has a dinosaur theme park and was jailed for tax fraud) onto Eye to Eye a while back. If anyone wants to know what Jack believes about early human history and a very literal interpretation of Genesis, here you go.

Jack also gave a solo ramble on the references to Unicorns and Dinosaurs in the Bible which is somewhat related. His conclusion: Adam lived for 900 years (or was that Methuselah?) so who's to say that he didn't live in the "dinosaur age?" Case closed.

Spoiler: Archives

Creation vs Evolution Parts 1 & 2

View attachment 3384176
View attachment 3384171

Unicorns & Dinosaurs in the Bible

View attachment 3384181

I remember "Dr." Hovind well.

I went to a Christian school for a bit and our Bible teacher had us watch one of his videos. Even as a middle schooler it was extremely stupid and simplistic.

Here is a picture of his alma maters main building, btw.



The entire idea that earth, let alone human history, is only about as old as what we have proof was the start of civilization is absurd. But imagine if Jack was right. Adam would have been alive to humanity go from just himself and Eve, to humanity spreading across the entire world, domesticating animals, developing farming, and the developing of hundreds of beliefs and religions. Imagine all the incest orgies that took during his 900 years to make that possible.