Prison Letters (6/04/22) - New Chris Jail Letter - Chris Explains Soul Bonding and the Goddess Logs

[Ophelia]

If she could, she'd probably be charged with incest also.

Or she could, but authorities decided not to charge her because she’s an elderly woman and it’s a hillbilly crime. I’m not saying that’s what happened, just that it’s a possibility.

Chris himself is retarded, and it's therefore highly dubious that he himself knew what he was doing,

He absolutely 100% knew exactly what he was doing. No quarter.

his tard rage getting him sent to Western State,

Tard rage didn’t get him sent to the hospital. He was there to learn to assist in his defense.

 

[A-№1]

*Anne Boyelin.

No, it was Mary, actually. For once Chris did a minimal amount of research and learned that Mary was married to Richard Weston who had the same name as his mother: Barbara Weston. From there he went sideways to Anne, mother of Queen Elizabeth (who died without issue) and assumed he's next in line for the throne, obviously. Tard Logic™.

In his defense, a lot of rural virginians are not that experienced with how family trees work, what with not having any branches on their own.

And "we got a bunch of calls about Chris bragging about fucking his mom wouldn't justify either.

They got more than a "bunch" of calls. It's possible they performed a wellness check just to get the switchboard to shut the hell up.

My point is this: if they can prove sex occurred then they can probably argue that it was rape,

They haven't so far. Apart from the incest, there are a LOT of things they could go after Chris for (theft, elder abuse, and on and on). Why the court is settling for just misdemeanor incest is one of the mysteries of this very odd case.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

I'm honestly amazed the county took this situation seriously enough to warrant sending a patrol officer and maybe a single social worker out to investigate given how many times weens have made it all but impossible to get anyone to take that address seriously.

This isn't just a few weens calling in shouting JULAAAY like they were undoubtedly used to. This was hundreds of calls from Karens on twitter who wanted to make sure the BAD MAN was punished.

Being the #1 trending hashtag has that effect, and some people have a lot of time on their hands.

Or she could, but authorities decided not to charge her because she’s an elderly woman and it’s a hillbilly crime. I’m not saying that’s what happened, just that it’s a possibility.

That's exactly what happened.

They got more than a "bunch" of calls. It's possible they performed a wellness check just to get the switchboard to shut the hell up.

That's exactly what happened. Only it wasn't just a wellness check, they had an EPO in hand on general principles. They knew Chris was a deviant fuckup, so they came prepared.

 

[Spamton G. Spamton]

@Spamton G. Spamton is not a ween. He didn't write to Chris for attention for himself. He didn't play along with Chris' games or pretend to be a boyfriend-free-girl. He didn't lie to Chris about not posting Chris' reply on the internet. In so far as I'm aware, he did everything right,

I really appreciate this comment. I sincerely thank you for it. I think that Chris, despite his issues, saw my sincerity and appreciated it. At least, I hope that's what happened. I might check up on him with another letter to make sure he isn't totally off the rails with no one but weens talking to him.

 

[Khantressa]

I know the absurdity is lost of no one, but the fact that Chris is saying “I told everyone I fucked my mom to test them” just absolutely cracks me up. The internet has ruined him and there is no chance at a happy ending at this point.

 

[A Grey Cat]

I really appreciate this comment. I sincerely thank you for it. I think that Chris, despite his issues, saw my sincerity and appreciated it. At least, I hope that's what happened. I might check up on him with another letter to make sure he isn't totally off the rails with no one but weens talking to him.

Hey spamtom good to see you again. Yeah youre alright as far as people contacting Chris go. Another letter to see if we can get some more insight would be great especially since you're probably one of the few people who earned his trust without playing along with his delusions.

I know the absurdity is lost of no one, but the fact that Chris is saying “I told everyone I fucked my mom to test them” just absolutely cracks me up. The internet has ruined him and there is no chance at a happy ending at this point.

Never underestimate the power of the Teflon tard. Bit any leiniancy the court seems to give Chris is less out of pity and more, "he's more trouble than he's worth, let St Georges home for the mentally handicapped deal with him now. "

 

[A-№1]

That's exactly what happened.

They've already had enough trouble dealing with Chris for a year. There's no way they wanted to deal with habeussing Barbie-chan's corpus as well.

Only it wasn't just a wellness check, they had an EPO in hand on general principles.

I thought the EPO was issued the next day after the wellness check.

I think that Chris, despite his issues, saw my sincerity and appreciated it.

I have no clue why Chris chose to reply to you, but you proved all the ween bullshit and Kengle ass patting are unnecessary to get a response from Chris. Not a sane response, perhaps, but at least a True and Honest one.

there is no chance at a happy ending at this point.

There never was.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

I really appreciate this comment. I sincerely thank you for it. I think that Chris, despite his issues, saw my sincerity and appreciated it. At least, I hope that's what happened. I might check up on him with another letter to make sure he isn't totally off the rails with no one but weens talking to him.

I appreciate your insights on Chris and what you do.
Sincerity goes a long way, after all. You should reward yourself frequently for dealing with Chris' lunacy to be honest.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

I thought the EPO was issued the next day after the wellness check.

Chris had to leave 14BC the day of the wellness check. The reason he had to leave was because of the EPO. The next day is the day he stole money from Barb.

 

[FinnSven]

There never was.

In the mists of time, had Bob done something like taken Chris to a hooker for his first experience and taught him to save tugboat enough to visit her each month, then the whole Christory would be very different.

This would have lead to at least not a tragic ending.

 

[PsychoNerd054]

I really appreciate this comment. I sincerely thank you for it. I think that Chris, despite his issues, saw my sincerity and appreciated it. At least, I hope that's what happened. I might check up on him with another letter to make sure he isn't totally off the rails with no one but weens talking to him.

Thank you very much for your contributions, Spamton. The way you write letters to Chris certainly seems to make him open up more, and actually share the nitty gritty about his Neo Spirtual Christianity cult.

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

Yes, I think he would. Didn't he used to wear them for just mass debating?

Plus, bafflingly, he used to get regular STD tests despite being an untoched ape that didn't as much as ever kissed someone in his whole life.

He probably saw it as something "adults" do, so monkey see, monkey do. Kinda like a kid playing house, just pointlessly wasting valuable healthcare time and resources.

 

[A-№1]

Chris had to leave 14BC the day of the wellness check. The reason he had to leave was because of the EPO. The next day is the day he stole money from Barb.

I don't want to be That Guy, but that's not what the CWCki says:

Following allegations in late July and the eventual confirmation that Chris had committed incest with Barb, hundreds of people contacted the Greene County police, and authorities conducted a welfare check on the Chandler home, issuing an Emergency Protective Order on Chris the following day.

This would have lead to at least not a tragic ending.

Best Ending involves Bob and a box of condoms.

 

[PsychoNerd054]

Best Ending involves Bob and a box of condoms.

Or better yet, the one where he doesn't go to the bar to meet Barb.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

I don't want to be That Guy, but that's not what the CWCki says:

You're not that guy, that's perfectly fair.

I'm trying to find more information. Here's the issue, without the EPO, there'd be no legal basis for forcing Chris to leave that day.

I do agree though, on thinking about it further, that they probably did not issue it in advance. It would make it more likely that it was an officer-requested immediate EPO. This is provided for under § 19.2-152.8

EDIT: To clarify, there is always a magistrate on duty. The officer calls the magistrate and gets the EPO issued -- this can be done extremely quickly.

EDIT 2: The EPO is for three days, but if the officer feels the victim can't speak for themselves because of mental impairment, he can ask for an immediate three day extension, for a total of six days.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

You're not that guy, that's perfectly fair.

I'm trying to find more information. Here's the issue, without the EPO, there'd be no legal basis for forcing Chris to leave that day.

I do agree though, on thinking about it further, that they probably did not issue it in advance. It would make it more likely that it was an officer-requested immediate EPO. This is provided for under § 19.2-152.8

EDIT: To clarify, there is always a magistrate on duty. The officer calls the magistrate and gets the EPO issued -- this can be done extremely quickly.

EDIT 2: The EPO is for three days, but if the officer feels the victim can't speak for themselves because of mental impairment, he can ask for an immediate three day extension, for a total of six days.

Do you think the day the cops came out, and didn't just go away like before, instead hauling Barb off made Chris just not want to hang around the house because he knew they'd be after him? Like not exactly running away, but just not "being there". Chris has a history of skedaddling right before he gets into trouble, and who knows what he was thinking at the time other than "I don't want to be here when they come back".

 

[Optimus Prime]

Do you think the day the cops came out, and didn't just go away like before, instead hauling Barb off made Chris just not want to hang around the house because he knew they'd be after him? Like not exactly running away, but just not "being there". Chris has a history of skedaddling right before he gets into trouble, and who knows what he was thinking at the time other than "I don't want to be here when they come back".

I'm not sure how bad it would have had to be given how 14BC is essentially Chris's sanctuary. Nothing short of a court order or something with enough weight that even a dent head like Chris could comprehend he had to get the fuck out of that house.

 

[taintmisbehavin]

Or better yet, the one where he doesn't go to the bar to meet Barb.

Or Barb stopped being a big hoe or got her tubes tied after Cole.

 

[Cybertonia]

Or better yet, the one where he doesn't go to the bar to meet Barb.

If it wasn't Bob it would've been some other sad sack workaholic who paid more attention to their career than the first wife

 

[FinnSven]

If it wasn't Bob it would've been some other sad sack workaholic who paid more attention to their career than the first wife

Yes but there would be no guarantee that the result would be Chris.