Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Maude Snew]

Did Fatrick really call it “mecha” instead of “Mecca?”
1.7 GPA

Anime Muslims are really the last thing you need they're gonna 9/11 times ten thousand the shit out of you if they can ever get Muslim Shinji to get in the Muslim fucking robot already.

 

[Zbk3VmLfujjzjxBd43tL]

This just made me snort laugh in public. Now I’m craving patchops, Pat rinds and Pats in a blanket.

No you don't. Your arteries will clog and you will die a horrible death of fatness.

 

[r00]

I think Handyfat is his best persona. Especially if you actually do the things he tweets about professionally (or at least work around people who do it) its a hoot and a holler. These are the tasks you give to the rookie while he watches and learns how the real men do the job. At least most rookies know they're doing grunt work the other guys get paid too much to do.

Could you imagine a labourer or even a regular casual DIYer stopping to photograph and write about a small pile of skirting he'd just removed or something equally unimportant? And he always does it with an attitude of "Phew, glad that day of graft is over, am I right guys?" when he literally only ever documents the simplest most mundane tasks. It's never anything to actually be proud of, just busy work you'd get a kid to do to make them feel useful like "pulled up the gripper rods, boy was that tough! They sure are sharp" or "been out toiling in the fields weeding my small patio. Glad that's over!"
This is clear evidence that he is stumbling through life as a perpetual child doing homework for work experience week.
Every time he chimes in like an expert on anything he sounds like a virgin trying to describe what the inside of a vagina feels like.

Patrick S Tomlinson IS fat.

 

[Johnny Anal Beads]

Could you imagine a labourer or even a regular casual DIYer stopping to photograph and write about a small pile of skirting he'd just removed? And he always does it with an attitude of "Phew, glad that day of graft is over, am I right guys?" when he literally only ever documents the simplest most mundane tasks.

"lol whoops my hammer made a dent in the plasterboard, guess i gotta patch that up lmao"

but obese.

 

[r00]

"lol whoops my hammer made a dent in the plasterboard, guess i gotta patch that up lmao"

but obese.

"OK, tweeps so after A LOT of very difficult mixing I have ensured that the cement is the optimum consistency ready for pouring. A job well done, I think I'll call it a day because we are losing daylight and I have to go and research for my WIP Christmas Carol parody novel"

 

[Slobs]

I have some bad news for anyone who's ever voted for the Republican Party...

View attachment 3395908

"Totally not gay" Patrick responding to another male: We (I) don't want to fuck you because of your views.
Does that mean he'd fuck a male democrat? Is Pat "I'm good with cars but still blow trannies" Rick admitting that he perceives his transsexual crushes as male? Or by "we" does he mean him and his wife? I'm aware that the two are big fans of dark phallic-shaped meat, and as Biden once said if you don't vote for him you ain't black.

 

[RapistWithAIDS]

What is the origin of the pink blanket and farting couch references? My Pat S. Thomas lore is seriously lacking and I’d like to get my PhFat.

Pat's posted multiple pics of himself lying on his couch under a pink blanket with lube on the coffee table.

 

[Piggy Higuera]

The story is a bit murky, PCJ was married to someone else, I think Pat/Ade and PCJ/exwife had some weird cohabitation thing going on. Ade wasn't happy in her marriage, PCJ wasn't happy in his, and eventually realized they would be happier with each other. They were couple friends, and Patrick thought he'd found a male friend who wasn't going to steal his wife, so go ahead wife sit on his lap.

There's actually another story from a toy convention involving his "friends", specifically this dude nicknamed Blappy who has a pretty hot wife and is raising his daughter. We've only heard Patrick's telling of this story as an unreliable narrator, but he was being obnoxious in a hotel room (something about Maple Leafs or maple syrup) lecturing everyone else because he knows everything. Blappy got up and started screaming at him that's he's a fucking idiot who doesn't know what he's talking about.

Fuck I googled "Patrick Tomlinson Blappy" and lo and behold, the original story has already been told in this thread on page 27 by @Vetti



Read this story as someone who knows Patrick's fragility, that he has to control every narrative about his life so he seems like the coolest, toughest guy on planet earth. Read this story about Patrick making a small error, and one of his closest friends awakening from a drunken slumber to scream at him about the difference between oak leaves and oakleaf. Imagine what really went down that night, before Patrick edited the story like a vain celebrity producing their own biopic. Dr Dre omitting Dee Barnes from Straight Outta Compton narcissism.

TYFYS

How someone that obviously odious would think sharing a house with a better husband/father option would not end in him getting kicked to the curb by his pregnant wife is astonishing.

Was there an open relationship angle with Pat? He says a lot of weird off-hand shit about Nikki on Twitter and being "into things", and seems like the type who is self-delusional enough to think he'd do better than Ade. If Pat put that out there because he thought he'd be swimming in gash or however 1.7 GPA/145 IQ would put it, she had already seen that PCJ was competent and kind, finding out he was hung would have been checkmate.

I do remember that Blappy story in the context of Rick saying "I have friends all over the world" meaning people he sees at a convention once a year at a neutral location. I'm not including them in my definition of "allowing Rick to see the reverse side of your fence" friends.

The only inside-friends photo I can think of is that one with the portly penny eater everybody thought was his brother.

Edit to say that not seeing "black kids steal a phone from a weird white dude that's full of texts about how he turns black kids into pepperoni" as the world's best writing prompt proves that Piggy has no clue.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Could you imagine a labourer or even a regular casual DIYer stopping to photograph and write about a small pile of skirting he'd just removed or something equally unimportant?

Yes, but those ones do it with a self-deprecating “I’m a regular Bob Vila over here” tone. They know full well they’re making a big deal out of unremarkable jobs.

Pat, who takes himself more seriously than his impending heart attacks, actually thinks nobody can tell he’s an inept dilettante. It’s v entertaining.

 

[Ick]

The only inside-friends photo I can think of is that one with the portly penny eater everybody thought was his brother.

I don't have it handy but I remember a pic he took while out at dinner with a visibly uncomfortable interracial gay couple. Pretty sure he tweeted it out with some asinine comment like that they're Trump's worst nightmare.

 

[Nod Flenders]

"Totally not gay" Patrick responding to another male: We (I) don't want to fuck you because of your views.
Does that mean he'd fuck a male democrat? Is Pat "I'm good with cars but still blow trannies" Rick admitting that he perceives his transsexual crushes as male? Or by "we" does he mean him and his wife? I'm aware that the two are big fans of dark phallic-shaped meat, and as Biden once said if you don't vote for him you ain't black.

I wouldn't be surprised if he is gay. He's also fat, very fat.

 

[Cold Root Beer]

Could you imagine a labourer or even a regular casual DIYer stopping to photograph and write about a small pile of skirting he'd just removed or something equally unimportant? And he always does it with an attitude of "Phew, glad that day of graft is over, am I right guys?" when he literally only ever documents the simplest most mundane tasks. It's never anything to actually be proud of, just busy work you'd get a kid to do to make them feel useful like "pulled up the gripper rods, boy was that tough! They sure are sharp" or "been out toiling in the fields weeding my small patio. Glad that's over!"
This is clear evidence that he is stumbling through life as a perpetual child doing homework for work experience week.
Every time he chimes in like an expert on anything he sounds like a virgin trying to describe what the inside of a vagina feels like.

Patrick S Tomlinson IS fat.

I always love his lack of knowledge on this shit leading to him making the most outrageous claims unwittingly.

Like after showing those pathetic pictures, he made the tweet about buying drywall mud. Motherfucker seems incapable of even basic framing, let alone hanging, and he is pretending he did his own mudding and taping? I've known skilled carpenters who completely framed their own renos well, hung all the drywall themselves perfectly, but still would sub out the mudding and taping.

And Fatrick, the man who can't even build a fence to code is telling everyone he does his own mudding and taping. I wish it was true, because I'd want to see how amazing godawful that wall would look,

 

[Autism Spectroscopy]

life as a perpetual child

At this point, I seriously doubt Pat would check all the progress milestones of a 2 year old baby flawlessly.

Maybe he'll learn to change the lightbulb before he is 50, but I wouldn't really count on it.

Fat sees all, encases all, after all.

 

[artilleryfroth]

Wanting to find out what this was about I discovered Patirck is advocating for kicking Wisconsin out of the Union due to not stopping the Pepperoni Killer:
View attachment 3389643

Late obviously, as I’m just catching up on the thread, but why the hell would you use the Premier league for your analogy when you have zero idea how relegation works? (I’d summarise the numerous ways the comparison is faulty, but I recognise that nobody cares). I’m guessing he researched this about as well as he researched the environment in historic England for his stupid Tiny Tim book.

 

[AprilRains]

And Fatrick, the man who can't even build a fence to code is telling everyone he does his own mudding and taping. I wish it was true, because I'd want to see how amazing godawful that wall would look,

I can see him buying the material, fucking it up, his wife quietly hiring a proper craftsman to do it, then Fatrick taking photos and claiming credit.

He really is a vile liar.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

"Totally not gay" Patrick responding to another male: We (I) don't want to fuck you because of your views.
Does that mean he'd fuck a male democrat? Is Pat "I'm good with cars but still blow trannies" Rick admitting that he perceives his transsexual crushes as male? Or by "we" does he mean him and his wife? I'm aware that the two are big fans of dark phallic-shaped meat, and as Biden once said if you don't vote for him you ain't black.

Considering that he wants to fuck John Walker Flynt in his axe would, this would mean he would.

 

[TreeFortRichardsTCell]

Late obviously, as I’m just catching up on the thread, but why the hell would you use the Premier league for your analogy when you have zero idea how relegation works? (I’d summarise the numerous ways the comparison is faulty, but I recognise that nobody cares). I’m guessing he researched this about as well as he researched the environment in historic England for his stupid Tiny Tim book.

Knowing pat hell have the premiere league existing in the 19th century, including all the London area teams who are currently in the top flight

 

[FinnSven]

Knowing pat hell have the premiere league existing in the 19th century, including all the London area teams who are currently in the top flight

And have them running along Hadrian’s wall to catch the train to Hogwarts.

 

[Meriasek]

I always love his lack of knowledge on this shit leading to him making the most outrageous claims unwittingly.

Like after showing those pathetic pictures, he made the tweet about buying drywall mud. Motherfucker seems incapable of even basic framing, let alone hanging, and he is pretending he did his own mudding and taping? I've known skilled carpenters who completely framed their own renos well, hung all the drywall themselves perfectly, but still would sub out the mudding and taping.

And Fatrick, the man who can't even build a fence to code is telling everyone he does his own mudding and taping. I wish it was true, because I'd want to see how amazing godawful that wall would look,

It'd be worse than the Tranch's crimes against drywall.

 

[FinnSven]

It'd be worse than the Tranch's crimes against drywall.

Worse than the tranches crimes against vaginas?