Culture Ted Cruz Is A Microtransaction Whale

Kotaku (Archive) - June 21, 2022
by, Luke Plunkett



Senator Ted Cruz is a man who were I to list all his political and moral shortcomings would be detaining you for hours. He is also, like most of us, someone who plays video games, and how he plays them will not be a surprise to anyone.

Here’s a little excerpt from the latest episode of Cruz’s own podcast, which he runs with co-host Michael Knowles:

Link

That clip and quotes above are missing a bit of the conversation; the actual segment from his podcast runs a little longer, and Cruz says in full (I’ve removed a little bit where they go off-topic):

Video games are designed to be addictive. Now, I’m something of a gamer, I’m not a gamer like hardcore Twitch streamers, and I don’t do the massive multiplayer games...I don’t like it when you can buy in-game items and sort of make your character stronger, or get advantages.
Now I’ll confess, when I play some games, I’ll sometimes buy it, cuz it is more fun if suddenly your character has a lot more great stuff that would take you six months or a year to build up. So sometimes I’ll, okay, I’ll spend 20 bucks and buy a, you know, a treasure chest full of coins, cuz then I can spend them to get cool things in the game.

As one reply to the above tweet says, “‘I’ve never heard Republican economic policy summarized so succinctly”.

For the record, while this looks like a speedrun through the definition of “hypocrisy”, something the Senator is no stranger to, for context the clip is actually part of a longer conversation where Cruz is basically saying that, while he will spend money in order to get to the front of the line faster, he thinks having stuff like loot boxes in games aimed at kids is a very bad idea.

 

[lemonsensei]

Ted Cruz & DSP probably play the WWE wrestling game with each other, secretly sharing stats as well

The crossover I didn’t know I needed.

 

[Harvey Danger]

Luke, you ignorant slut, spending $20 on a game doesn't make you a whale, it makes you an adult who doesn't need to ask his mom for her credit card. I know that's a foreign concept for a Kotaku freelancer who probably gets paid pennies per hundred words, but it's actually possible (and helpful) to drop a whole Jackson on a game you intend to play for a while.

What does this mean?

It means lefties don't even know what "economics" means.

At this point I don't give a damn about muh hypocrisy or the GOP maintaining an ideologically consistent platform that makes the libertarians happy. Loot boxes suck. Regulate them into the ground and let the big studios squeal.

 

[PipTheAlchemist]

Yooooooooo, Ted Cruz is an epic gamer? Just like me?
I'm making like a Californian, and moving to Texas bros. Good to know there's a state in this hellhole that doesn't opress gamers

 

[Tacitus Kilgore]

If he is playing games on his phone, he isn't a real gamer. He is just some filthy casual. A filthy casual who likes to spend money on microtransactions. I probably spent a few hundred dollars on world of tanks over the years I played it but it's a free to play game. It's also total garbage. Cruz spent a few dollars on some shitty mobile game. Big deal.

 

[Orkeosaurus]

lol Twitch streamers have thrown tens of thousands of dollars at Diablo Immortal just to "own" blizzard, I was fully prepared to read how Ted Cruz has a crippling addiction. 20 bucks is like just the fee not to get bogged down by ads every 5 minutes in a mobile game.

 

[PipTheAlchemist]

lol Twitch streamers have thrown tens of thousands of dollars at Diablo Immortal just to "own" blizzard, I was fully prepared to read how Ted Cruz has a crippling addiction. 20 bucks is like just the fee not to get bogged down by ads every 5 minutes in a mobile game.

But spending $20 on a mobile game is sympomatic of how bad and evil muh Republican economic policies are. Don't you know?

 

[Secret Asshole]

I mean, he IS a senator. He doesn't have the time to spend grinding out for 40 hours, so it makes sense he'd spend money on shit. You can shit on Ted Cruz for a lot of things, but him buying microtransactions because he has a lot of shit to do isn't one of them. Fuck, at least he PLAYS games and doesn't say they're the root of all evil like a lot of republicans.

The idea that this could somehow be related to economic policy or anything else is so fucking retarded I just expect it from Journos at this point.

 

[Drifting Panzer]

Not as bad when Ted Cruz sexually assaulted AOC.

I did not know Ted Cruz was both blind and deaf.

Edit: Also, if the occasional 20 dollars make you a whale, I dont want to know what they would call me if they saw my spendings in Azur Lane.

 

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

I mean, he IS a senator. He doesn't have the time to spend grinding out for 40 hours, so it makes sense he'd spend money on shit. You can shit on Ted Cruz for a lot of things, but him buying microtransactions because he has a lot of shit to do isn't one of them. Fuck, at least he PLAYS games and doesn't say they're the root of all evil like a lot of republicans.

The idea that this could somehow be related to economic policy or anything else is so fucking retarded I just expect it from Journos at this point.

Nah, he did it to get a Weather Loli deck in Duel Links to beat an eceleb and make Kaiba say Sneed. He’s more based then you can imagine.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xzccfekhLl4

 

[PuffyGroundCloud]

TIL spending $20 = a whale
So spending $10K++ = Mega Whale?

 

[Haramburger]

Asmongold reached out to Ted Cruz regarding his opinion/being open to a discussion on legislation on lootboxes. Ted Cruz responded via the podcast that he was broadly open to it, and explained that he isn't extremely experienced, but understands how phone game monetization largely works via his kids and a small amount of gameplay himself.

 

[TheRedChair]

Asmongold reached out to Ted Cruz regarding his opinion/being open to a discussion on legislation on lootboxes. Ted Cruz responded via the podcast that he was broadly open to it, and explained that he isn't extremely experienced, but understands how phone game monetization largely works via his kids and a small amount of gameplay himself.

Asmongold. Another fucking air thief living in his momma's basement.

 

[Mega Man II Intro - GB]

"I will no longer call Ted Cruz 'Lyin' Ted'... his new nickname will be 'Whalin' Ted.'"
[audience goes berserk]
[Trump holds his hand up]
"I solemnly swear... if you elect me to a second term as your favorite President... I will never buy a loot box."

 

[Tomboy Respecter]

So he spends a $20 to not get bogged down by ads and shit? That's nothing, especially when you condider he's a fucking senator. The accusation he was looking a cuckqeen porn was more meaningful than this trash.

 

[Blake Chortles]

Asmongold. Another fucking air thief living in his momma's basement.

Its his basement now his mom smoked herself to death.

 

[SITHRAK!]

OMG doesn’t ‘tedcruzmicrotransactiongate’ just roll off the tongue?

 

[Glowie Hunter Art Bell]

I wish I could sexually assault AOC.

She may be a horse face but those jigglers are something

 

[ZehnBoat]

oh my god guys, ted cruz spent 20 bucks
threat to our democracy
*buys 20,000 dollars worth of funko pops*

 

[soy_king]

it's truly fascinating how much vitriol they have for this guy, and how desperately they try to take him down. He's not even the most MAGA friendly senator out there, but he's clearly one of the smarter ones who doesn't mindlessly suck uniparty cock, and that's clearly scary for them.

He's still a Machiavellian snake, but if he's at least doing a bit more than merely parroting populist talking points, that's fine by me.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

For the record, while this looks like a speedrun through the definition of “hypocrisy”, something the Senator is no stranger to, for context the clip is actually part of a longer conversation where Cruz is basically saying that, while he will spend money in order to get to the front of the line faster, he thinks having stuff like loot boxes in games aimed at kids is a very bad idea.

"Let's treat kids the same as adults" is the official Democrat position, and everybody who supports these fuckers at this point condones it.

Abd $20 isn't even close to being a fucking whale. Whales spend tens of thousands, potentially hundreds of thousands. He wouldn't even be considered a dolphin unless he's spending hundreds/thousands. He's practically a goldfish.