Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Godzilla@1989]

Here’s my overall thoughts on Nu Kenobi.

FUCKING CANCER.

Probably the worst Disney era show in the entire franchise.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

seeing Darth Vader go apeshit is always good to see.

 

[Miller]

Probably the worst Disney era show in the entire franchise.

Indeed. TLJ at least had some good cinematography.

seeing Darth Vader go apeshit is always good to see.

Vader yelling "Obi-Wan" was less kino than Maul/Witwer's "KENOBI".

 

[The handsome tard]

You know, it was kind of genius of Lucas to open the movie with literally a fairytale starter quote.
"A long ago in a galaxy far far away" is literally the same as "A long ago in a land far far away"

It already establishes the classical fantasy aspect since, lets face it, Star Wars is basically the story of a young man meeting a old wise wizard that teaches him to use magic and use it against the evil king and his enforcer. I guess thats the beauty of Star Wars given its all meant to be a fusion of every genre and thing Lucas grew up with, like classic fantasy literature and flash gordon serials.

 

[MrGodSlave]

Only part I liked of the Kenobi Finale was split helmet Vader. Whole show could have been Obi Wan doing some wacky business anywhere else and more flashbacks of Anakin. Luke did nothing, which I suppose is better than having him making quips, but he wasn't needed. Leia, definitely not needed. Revas show is going to suck and fail. Qui Gon showing up for 5 seconds was funny in how fucking pointlessly shoehorned it was.

At least they didn't utterly and completely cuck Obi like Boba Fett.

 

[Creep3r]

The last 3 episodes of Kenobi were when they made it a "star" vehicle for that rotten Reva character and they gave her the face turn. That was the plan from the onset but they didn't have the guts to just do something new so they shoehorned OT moneymakers into it to softly introduce people to her.
They are pretending to be insane enough to give this two-bit character her very own show (again!) and I don't know if I want that to be like Rian Johnson "totally" getting another core Star Wars movie to direct or if I want to see a few episodes to laugh at it.

On the nose. Kennedy originally saw what they were doing back before 2020 with Kenobi, didn't like that they were actually adapting a piece of classic and well written Kenobi lore and demanded they scrap the whole thing, including its director and writers, much like with RO, Solo and others she had meddled in before.

https://web.archive.org/web/20220310155921/https://ew.com/tv/obi-wan-kenobi-ewan-mcgregor-hayden-christensen-cover-story/

New writers and director despite needing to make it "NEW" still wanted to make it about Obi-Wan protecting Luke from desert monsters even if it didn't follow the original Kenobi story, and with no Vader still in sight, but Filoni says no because he doesn't want anyone being like his precious Baby Yeed babysitter and the lack of cameos triggered ADHD, and even Kennedy was apparently either called by him (wouldn't surprise me if he snitched again) to support him or simply arrived to reset things again because who the fuck knows why she hates thing following old lore.

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/obi-wan-kenobi-darth-maul-scenes-cut-luke-skywalker-replaced-during-creative-overhaul-1235108192/

So later through more Kennedy and some other hack meddling along with covid drama, the thing gets completely scrapped storywise and just made the Reva show but they keep Ben around for it simply to take advantage of a legacy character to prop their dank new OC who is more of a joke than a character.

And to think they're planning to make another desert show that was briefly named after a Simpsons gag. It will be tarring four kiddies flying around by themselves supposedly. Apparently this one won't have a legacy character to take advantage of but I wouldn't be surprised if they glue another legacy character or legacy lookalike to it or that the whole show is just one big knockoff of Stand by Me with Ahsoka or Chewbacca on it as a pet dog.

https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Grammar_Rodeo

 

[The handsome tard]

seeing Darth Vader go apeshit is always good to see.

Thats Kylo Ren shit, not Vader. They legit cant write a mentally and emotionally stable villain.

Vader yelling "Obi-Wan" was less kino than Maul/Witwer's "KENOBI".

When Maul did, it was to show how pathetic and obssessed he has become to the point revenge is literally all he has left.

When Vader did it, I just had this in mind

"DAAAAAMN YOOOU, HEE- I MEAN, OBI-WAAAAN! NYAAAAHH! I WILL GET YOU NEXT TIMEEE!"

God, what a joke they are turning Vader into

 

[Creep3r]

I think @Midwit still gave the best review of Kenobi that I've seen yet.

Star Wars has a become a shell of its former self; bereft of any redeeming qualities and existing solely to keep the company that produces it afloat as it's their only real moneymaker. Much like RWBY, Kenobi has written itself into a hole from which it cannot escape; as Bobby-Wan and Leea are trapped within an old transport with no hyperspace capability, trapped in the same system as a mile-long warship containing no less than a full wing of TIE fighters (and doubtlessly Vader's custom) with which to chase and destroy them. As we know this show ends with its 6th episode (unless they continue the story directly via season 2) we know that our protagonists must return to their homes in order to ensure the status quo so as to lead into the Original film, not that the show has demonstrated much regard for this continuity, and also requires that Reva also travel to Tatooine despite her circumstances. And on that note...
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The shows' treatment of injury that should be fatal as little more than an inconvenience for characters the moment it becomes necessary to the plot is setting a very bad precedent for the franchise, I accepted it in the case of Maul as he ended up being one of the few good parts of TCW for me and his character was actually rather entertaining to follow compared to the rest of Filoni's originals, save a few standouts. The idea that getting an energy blade puttting out enough energy to melt metal in a matter of seconds is not only survivable but also little more than a minor injury is absurd; the moment such a thing enters your body your skin would melt, the moisture flash boil and everything internal would be fucked beyond repair, but I guess that's a bit too graphic for a film series that had a bloody dismemberment, a man having his chest blown open and a young man seeing the charred remains of his only family in its very first outing.

But what about the rest of the show? Why it's Obi-Wan Kenobi, Lucasfilm's answer to a question that nobody fucking asked! Much like many of Disney's comic series the show serves as a bridge between the PT and OT, a "midquel" if you like, to the story of Obi-Wan Kenobi; and much like the Vader comics before it it's a bunch of edgy, poorly concieved trash that serves only to mischaracterise and damage their very suject matter. Vader should not be destroying armies single-handedly whilst spouting edgy one-liners about how he's surrounded by "fear and dead men", he should be learning to adapt and get over himself, perhaps pondering on his mistakes and turning from the rage-fueled child murderer from RotS into the intelligent, professional leader he was in the OT. Unfortunately none of that generates headlines nor does it make fanboys cloom and thus Disney creates things to appeal to their most vocal fanbase; series after series of pathetic step-dads who may be a good vehicle for action scenes but lacking in anything truly interesting beyond the myriad superficialities that define them, along with whatever stupid shit the books and comics are doing.

Now bugger off, go find other Banthas, make baby Banthas. I'm done for now.
Goddamn transgender clone troopers jesus fucking christ Gisney

Still on point.

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I really like this thing

Bonus:
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Its wonderful isn't it?

 

[NaggotFigger]

Indeed. TLJ at least had some good cinematography.

Well, comparing to the clusterfuck that is TLJ, OWK is nowhere near having good cinematography as TLJ and that sucks. It feels slightly underwhelming comparing to the other SW clusterfucks. It's just another clusterfuck in the pack, but as a Disney+ show.

Vader yelling "Obi-Wan" was less kino than Maul/Witwer's "KENOBI".

They thought that was the best way to end the duel. They did. This isn't the way to end a duel, it's not even as good as Maul's yelling.

 

[Shekelslovakia]

For me the problem with BB-8 is that he's not convincing as a believable astromech/repair unit or successor to the R-series line. Even his design feels more like what you would expect for something like a children's toydroid. In the original concept art for George's outline for the sequels, the droid that would become BB-8 was a floating probe droid-esque model that felt more practical by design and maneuverability, like an R2 that could fit into tighter spaces, is not limited by height, and never has to fear from falling.
View attachment 3407189
Although the small size would mean a far greater limit in utilities and the hovering would probably cause greater power consumption. Also I can't look at BB-8 without seeing it a googly-eyed soccer ball rather than a droid. It was clear from the start that his final design only existed for toyetic purposes rather than for streamlined robotics.

View attachment 3407194
Even in R2's original concept art pieces he was a far more clunkier droid covered to the brim with excess of arms, gadgets, and other tools to showcase that he was a maintenance unit and it was only after that initial design that they worked towards adding compartments and smoother frames to make it have the feel of a popular and very easy to use appliance.
View attachment 3407201View attachment 3407206

How JJ got the idea for BB-8. Coomers consoome!!!

 

[SandyCat]

Give me late and gay stickers but what the fuck is this?

They got some chick with a lightsaber umbrella, a cartoony robot jedi, Asian jedi with lightsaber katanas, some anime chick with lightsaber whips and a furry

This is some weird shit you'd see straight out of starwars legends

 

[anti SJW]

I heard final episode of Kenobi breaks major canon.

Spoiler

Kenobi meets Luke. That didn't happen until episode 4.

 

[Mr. 0]

I heard final episode of Kenobi breaks major canon.

Spoiler

Kenobi meets Luke. That didn't happen until episode 4.

Sure seemed like they knew each other casually.

 

[TinCan Wizard]

The shaky cam. That fucking shaky cam. Lucas had the duo fight on falling debris in a volcano without giving me visual seizure.

 

[BULLY HUNTER_77]

Hi again ya'll, get your moons and trashcans ready cuz I'm about to lay down another incredible Hot Take on the Kenobi series.

I liked the series finally better than the ending of Episode III because it does a better job tying the prequels to the OT.

-Lays down (admittedly clumsy) groundwork for Vader being the "learner" when he "left" Obi-Wan, so he can be the "master of evil" later.
-Vader says he "killed" Anakin and Obi calls him "Darth" at the end. Obi looks like less of a dipshit in Episode IV because of this. ("Vader betrayed and tots murdered your father Luke don't worry about the fact that I cut off his legs and watched him burn in lava dude.")
-Vader immediately gives up his Kenobi obsession after the mildest of admonishment from Sidious (still the best character in the series, even though he only appeared for 30 seconds). This explains why he stopped chasing him to the ends of the galaxy.

The Leah speaking in code in Episode 4 is still dumb. Reva surviving at the end is still dumb - maybe the explanation for Kenobi aging 40 years in 10 years will be because he transferred his life essence to her (Rey/Ben Skywalker style) in the inevitable Reva series. Still less dumb than the ending of Episode 3 where everyone just teleported to their Episode IV starting positions without much thought for the dialogue and implied history between the characters.

 

[starborn427614]

Just watched the episode. I wish I could say I felt anything during most of it, but I didn't. Not even when Qui-Gon's ghost showed up. I agree with the complaints about shaky cam, it really needs to stop (as does presenting a tense stand-off in a prequel when we already know the results).

 

[Mississippi Motorboater]

maybe the explanation for Kenobi aging 40 years in 10 years will be because he transferred his life essence to her (Rey/Ben Skywalker style) in the inevitable Reva series.

Still less dumb than the ending of Episode III

*Not sure if trolling or not*​

 

[Forest Portal Triumph 747]

>Luke, did I ever tell you how I defeated the most powerful swordsman of our era - your father - just last week? He was at my mercy, I could have stopped it all right there and then, probably would have saved Alderaan as well, but I chose to walk away. He was a good friend.

>Luke did I ever tell you about Reva? She was a little kid that your father tried to murder, but she survived and grew up to be his enforcer while genociding the Jedi. However, it was all just a 10 year plan to kill him. You'd think she could kill him hundreds of times, but she committed to the role 100%. Your twin sister was captured by her to lure me there, and when I rescued her she tried to stop me, but then it turns out she was tracking my ship so it all according to keikaku. Then she tracked me to this other planet, and I figured out she wanted Darth Vader dead. She and I lured Vader, that is your father Anakin Skywalker remember, to be alone to ambush, but she failed miserably and Vader stabbed her again in the exact same way. Again, she survived somehow, but decided to take revenge by killing you. She attacked your farm, but your aunt and uncle fought her off while you escaped. She followed you and knocked you out, but then showed mercy in her last moment. Oh right that was only 9 years ago, you probably remember her well. She was a good friend, and a nice piece of ebony ass. But that's a story for another time. Anyway, after I started my day drinking again I got to talk to my old master's ghost. She was a good friend.

>Luke, did I ever tell you about Lola? She was your sister's droid, from whom she was inseparable during her youth. I first became aware of her when I rescued Leia during her childhood after she was kidnapped by the Inquisitors, a group of ruthless Jedi hunters. Lola was used by the Third Sister, Reva, to track us, leading to the deaths of numerous Rebel fighters. Over the course of our journey, Leia and I became as close as family, which made her unaffected reaction to my passing on the Death Star quite unusual. She was a good droid.

>Luke did I ever tell you that 11 years before you became a Jedi I fought a black queen sith and darth Vader again while hanging out with your sister and 9 years before you became a Jedi darth maul with robot legs returned to fight me once more? I wonder what’ll happen 5 years before you become a Jedi.

>Luke, did I ever tell you the story when I had a training session with your father? It was a duel and the rules were simple: whoever disarms the opponet first wins. Your father won, but I cheated, so I declared myself a winner and I told him he is gonna suck forever cause he played nice. Whatever, later I cut off his arm and legs and let him burn. Later when he became the second most evil person in the galaxy we had a rematch where I defeated him again. Instead of killing him and saving millions of life across the galaxy I decided to walk away, cause he was a good friend.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Okay the finale of Kenobi. Overall the entire show is average and honestly feels more like a sequel to Revenge of the Sith rather than a prequel to A New Hope if that makes any sense.

Like Vader feels like a transition that mixes Anakin's rage from Revenge of the Sith so I'm fine with the way he acted in the series since it feels intentionally it's meant for him to mature between Episode III and IV. The fight is bad however mainly with all the camera angles that feel too shaky and quick. Like when Obi Wan starts beating Vader, the fight is more tolerable. But the fight feels too much like that dumb fan-made fight

Reva however is still the most pathetically laughable character in the series since she gets outsmarted and beaten by basically the equivalent of space rednecks. The fact she can only ever seem to ever intimidate children with only violence makes her more pathetic especially with how Luke was outrunning her. Honestly she never felt or earned a redemption because she harasses this family in the desert for no reason because Luke reminded her of her child self.

Like Reva does not need a TV Show or series since she is too pathetic and the way Obi-Wan speaks to her feels like he's talking to some autistic kid rather than an adult which to be fair is what Reva is, an overgrown manchild. Reva does not feel like a threat and it feels like no one in universe ever takes her seriously.

I do want to give some props to the show for making Luke's family actually care about him not that it is a big feat, but they could've easily fucked them up.

This show isn't really necessary but it's decent filler content.

 

[Lodoss Warrior]

Love seeing the battered wives still watching Disney Wars and being like, “No bro this single episode has a few decent moments, it’s worth watching 6 hours of crap.”

Ah, whatever, it’s all fake to me.