Prison Letters (6/04/22) - New Chris Jail Letter - Chris Explains Soul Bonding and the Goddess Logs

[Phalanges Mycologist]

It's buried in the wiki but:
https://sonichu.com/cwcki/WCT_DMs#Discussing_the_incest_fallout
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I wonder if the Scary part of it was that Barbs still in the hospital? Or if he tried to say something to try (and laughably fail) at putting the frightners on them to let him back in there house on Pain of Devine sonichu judgement.

He'd likely be handed an EBT card to buy groceries without having to spend his tugboat for that (and have to learn to eat for cheap). He might also get a *very* small allowance in a debit account specifically for that purpose, which he would doubtless blow on some lego.

I'd honestly love to see what his idea of Cheap cooking is, I know he eats a lot of fast food (or rather did) and he has cooked ready meals at home but those things mount up fast especially if he tried to eat them Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner, even if he goes for the budget brand stuff I can see him getting really desperate half way through the month as he can't afford to buy them any more - he hasnt even got basic cooking skills like peeling spuds, carrots etc, hell I think he'd struggle with boiling pasta or rice.

Also if memory serves me correctly aren't those EBT cards restricted in what he can buy on them so X food he'd like might not on the OK to buy list as it's considered a luxury item but food he doesn't like is cheap and allowed and he will throw a fit over not having a comfort food etc.

His pocket money if he got the remainder of the tugboat set aside for him wouldn't be much after, rent, bills, transport, etc and that is really going to be a kicker to him, he is used to be blowing serious (for him) money on toys at the beginning of each month so imagine what it will be like when his budget is limited to say $50 for the month and out of that he has to buy all his little luxuries not just toys - the chimpout will be glorious and the ebegging will be non stop.

You don't get a reaction out of Chris by giving him stuff, you get it by withholding stuff he thinks he is entitled to and this will be the most restricted he will have ever been with the least number of options available to him.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

I'd honestly love to see what his idea of Cheap cooking is, I know he eats a lot of fast food (or rather did) and he has cooked ready meals at home but those things mount up fast especially if he tried to eat them Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner, even if he goes for the budget brand stuff I can see him getting really desperate half way through the month as he can't afford to buy them any more - he hasnt even got basic cooking skills like peeling spuds, carrots etc, hell I think he'd struggle with boiling pasta or rice.

Store brand microwave pizzas give 350-500 calories for a bit over $1. EBT is about $200/mo for one person. Take Food Lion microwave pizzas at $1/pizza and 370 calories, he could afford 6 pizzas a day, or 2220 calories. Totino's party pizza 4-packs are $5.69. He could eat one 4-pack per day at 2760 calories and keep getting fatter. Banquet meals are a bit spendier, maybe $1.50 for 350 calories.

If Chris fucked it up, like he often does, and just bought what he wanted, he'd probably wind up losing some weight and whine online about how he was starving.

Also if memory serves me correctly aren't those EBT cards restricted in what he can buy on them so X food he'd like might not on the OK to buy list as it's considered a luxury item but food he doesn't like is cheap and allowed and he will throw a fit over not having a comfort food etc.

Not sure about Virginia, but in most states you can't buy prepared food, but anything not cooked (and not alcohol) is fair game. This includes take-and-bake pizza from places like Papa Murphy's. Papa Murphy's actually does a huge amount of their sales to people on food stamps.

14BC is within walking distance from Food Lion so I imagine he'd get most of his food from there. If he's put in a tard home, shitty food would be included. If he's in some section 8 place then whatever is close by.

His pocket money if he got the remainder of the tugboat set aside for him wouldn't be much after, rent, bills, transport, etc and that is really going to be a kicker to him, he is used to be blowing serious (for him) money on toys at the beginning of each month so imagine what it will be like when his budget is limited to say $50 for the month and out of that he has to buy all his little luxuries not just toys - the chimpout will be glorious and the ebegging will be non stop.

You don't get a reaction out of Chris by giving him stuff, you get it by withholding stuff he thinks he is entitled to and this will be the most restricted he will have ever been with the least number of options available to him.

Yup, more or less this. Chris will essentially have nothing beyond food, shelter, and utilities no matter what happens. The e-begging will be off the charts, and it will probably be in the same shrill tone he uses like everyone who's even heard of Sonichu somehow owes him money for the privilege of having been blessed by his electric hedgehog goodness.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Yup, more or less this. Chris will essentially have nothing beyond food, shelter, and utilities no matter what happens. The e-begging will be off the charts, and it will probably be in the same shrill tone he uses like everyone who's even heard of Sonichu somehow owes him money for the privilege of having been blessed by his electric hedgehog goodness.

I mean can you imagine what he's going to have to beg just to get a measure of the comfort he is used to just in toy's and entertainment alone? He's used to having access to Toys and Games and if as we suspect his stuff at 14BLC has been dumped he's going to want to replace that asap, Chris isn't cerebral so he won't go the the library to check out books to entertain himself when he get's out, he will demand TV, Console, and some form of Cable or streaming so he can get his fix and then he will try and get his hands on toys.

I think Chris will try his hands at shoplifting again when the begging doesnt get him what he wants and landing in trouble, not for the big things like TV or Computer but lego, games other toys he thinks he can hide on his person are all fair game, and he will justify it to himself and others as "I deserve something nice".

I know people have said something like this before but this is a new era for Chris, he's either going to have to adjust and lower his expectations (and I doubt he will) or he's going to stomp his feet and shout loud shrill, desperate demands that he's given what he believes is due to him and struggle along trying to get back to a basic level of his idea of creature comforts and that's a room full of toys and zero responsibilities and he's never going to get life as good as he once had it.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

I wonder if the Scary part of it was that Barbs still in the hospital? Or if he tried to say something to try (and laughably fail) at putting the frightners on them to let him back in there house on Pain of Devine sonichu judgement.

I did think that it was mostly pertaining to Barb, except for Chris bringing up the "they're scared of me", hearkening back to the Greene County school being "scared of his autism" and causing them to flip out, and Chris to still hate them. I imagine Chris went ballistic when they told him he wasn't welcome and that they ratted him out to the cops, and I also believe that even if Barb was the center of his voicemail, he was still extremely upset. "They think I'm scary? I'll show them what scary is".

 

[I am vomit]

I think Chris will try his hands at shoplifting again when the begging doesnt get him what he wants and landing in trouble, not for the big things like TV or Computer but lego, games other toys he thinks he can hide on his person are all fair game, and he will justify it to himself and others as "I deserve something nice".

I think that not only is this extremely accurate, but Chris will also brag about his theft online, and end up with a new felony later down the line and get locked up for good.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

I did think that it was mostly pertaining to Barb, except for Chris bringing up the "they're scared of me", hearkening back to the Greene County school being "scared of his autism" and causing them to flip out, and Chris to still hate them. I imagine Chris went ballistic when they told him he wasn't welcome and that they ratted him out to the cops, and I also believe that even if Barb was the center of his voicemail, he was still extremely upset. "They think I'm scary? I'll show them what scary is".

I could see that.

I wonder what he’d feel if Barb dies as a result of his actions. I suspect he’d be angry and in denial, and probably blame the trolls.

 

[A-№1]

Honestly they'd be fine with just a wipe down with moist towelettes or soap and water at worst. Chris is gross but it's not like they're coated in ebola.

I'd still use the ultrasonic bath. Chris may not be covered in ebola, but what he is covered with tends to seep into crevices. Also starts in crevices.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

I think that not only is this extremely accurate, but Chris will also brag about his theft online, and end up with a new felony later down the line and get locked up for good.

He probably will since there’s a lot of pro-shoplifters on social media who’ll be egging Chris on, these kind of people:

Spoiler

Maybe we’ll finally see a proper Ahuviya Harel/Chris-chan crossover if Chris goes down the angry Antifa anarchist route in response to being priced out of regularly consooming products?

I could see that.

I wonder what he’d feel if Barb dies as a result of his actions. I suspect he’d be angry and in denial, and probably blame the trolls.

I bet Null specifically will be blamed.

 

[A-№1]

Totino's party pizza 4-packs are $5.69. He could eat one 4-pack per day at 2760 calories and keep getting fatter.

You know this is what he's going to do. It might not necessarily be party pizzas, but he'll definitely be subsisting on pre-packaged crap instead of actual food. God help Chris if he gets diabeetus.

Also can you microwave party pizzas? I remember something about them being oven only. I'm not sure of Chris and ovens are a safe combination. Microwaves turn off automatically, but ovens don't, and Chris is easily distracted. It may only be a matter of time before we get House Fire Two: Electric Boogaloo.

and whine online about how he was starving.

He'll do that no matter what. And he'll spend any money weens send him for food on some lego instead.

Papa Murphy's actually does a huge amount of their sales to people on food stamps.

Businesses fight hard to qualify for EBT so they can get a share of that fat taxpayer funded money cake.

If he's put in a tard home, shitty food would be included.

It depends on the tard home (and the tards). Some of them cook for their residents. Others have an open kitchen and hope the residents don't burn the place down.

The e-begging will be off the charts,

Will he report his e-begging income like he's supposed to? Probably not. Maybe someone should report it for him.

I think Chris will try his hands at shoplifting again

In some states, police aren't even bothering to respond to shoplifting complaints any more. Is Virginia one of them?

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

I'm not sure of Chris and ovens are a safe combination. Microwaves turn off automatically, but ovens don't, and Chris is easily distracted. It may only be a matter of time before we get House Fire Two: Electric Boogaloo.

I don't know if you can find them in the state but I have seen specialist ovens for the elderly and disabled where you set the temperature and then the timer and it will shut off after that period has finished and make a loud sound - this isnt like a normal oven timer it's specifically designed for the elderly and disabled to avoid such accedents, they have a button that gives you a few minutes longer on the clock as well, and a auto off function for the hob if it's been on more than X minutes without a press on the button.

I can't see Chris getting lucky and getting a place with one but they do exist, and sadly cost a lot but are normally paid for by local councils or subsidised by them.

In some states, police aren't even bothering to respond to shoplifting complaints any more. Is Virginia one of them?

I have no idea but Chris isn't just going to shoplift he will make a sceen or some other antic that will land him in territory the police might want to investigate, it might not happen right away but they will know where he is and who he is as well - he might get a day or two's grace thinking he's gotten off scot free until there is a knock on the door.

It might not even be the shop lifting that get's him, say he get's a car even a old clunker he gets caught waddles off in a escape and quickly drives to the extreme and ends up clipping someone's car or van and drives off. That's criminal damage and leaving the sceen of a accident and that is something they will at least follow up on, or he starts another sonic boom esq protest over something equally stupid like the new gen of MLP and he vandalises displays etc on his way out - Chris is a perennial nusence to the people and places of Ruckersvill after the whole Barb mollestation they will be very unlikely to cut him some slack as long as he fucks off, if anything he's likely going to find himself preemptivly banned from a lot of places just because of that and he will not like the additional restrictions.

The petty theft of toys and games is one crime he's already tried and will try again and the one he will likely get into trouble for first, because he can't live without his little comforts.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

I think that not only is this extremely accurate, but Chris will also brag about his theft online, and end up with a new felony later down the line and get locked up for good.

Shoplifting under $1000 is only a Class 1 misdemeanor in Virginia, so no felonies unless he gets really greedy.

You know this is what he's going to do. It might not necessarily be party pizzas, but he'll definitely be subsisting on pre-packaged crap instead of actual food. God help Chris if he gets diabeetus.

This is already what he's done, only he's supplemented it with fast food. For dirt poor Chris that will no longer bet an option with the demise of the dollar menu. Franchisees finally got their way and value menus no longer sell things at cost like they used to, so they're actually not as big a value proposition. At some fast food places you can still hack the menu through ingredient additions, but Chris is too stupid to be able to do that.

Burger King was the longest holdout.

Also can you microwave party pizzas? I remember something about them being oven only. I'm not sure of Chris and ovens are a safe combination. Microwaves turn off automatically, but ovens don't, and Chris is easily distracted. It may only be a matter of time before we get House Fire Two: Electric Boogaloo.

You can microwave anything. They turn into a soggy mess when microwaved, but Chris might not care. It's possible to save the susceptor foil from other microwave items and use them on things like Totinos Party Pizza that don't come with them, and get good results, or you can buy a reusable susceptor plate that serves the same function.

https://www.amazon.com/Nordic-Ware-Microwave-2-Sided-Round/dp/B00004W4UM/

He'll do that no matter what. And he'll spend any money weens send him for food on some lego instead.

Thankfully fewer weens are willing to support a motherfucker.

In some states, police aren't even bothering to respond to shoplifting complaints any more. Is Virginia one of them?

It depends entirely on the local authorities more than anything. A lot of states have made long-needed adjustments to the floor for grand larceny, Virginia being one of them. A misdemeanor conviction for shoplifting is still no joke though, and can result in up to a year in jail.

Detractors claim that shoplifting small items should be a felony so they can put away shoplifters for years, and that police will only respond if it's a felony, but that is utterly untrue. In states that have misdemeanor shoplifting statues, the police in some cities and sheriffs in some counties can and will respond, arrest, and jail the criminals.

The problem is in lefty cities like NYC, Portland, or San Francisco, where the police know that the DA won't prosecute, or will just let the case languish by releasing the offender on zero bail every time they commit a new crime. They know that responding to shoplifting won't stop the offender, and they run the risk of being accused of being fascists for arresting brown people.

Go to a conservative jurisdiction, or a limo liberal mansion enclave in the hills, and the shoplifters get arrested, prosecuted, and habitual offenders get locked away in jail for substantial amounts of time, despite having the exact same laws as the ACAB cities.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

or a limo liberal mansion enclave in the hills, and the shoplifters get arrested, prosecuted, and habitual offenders get locked away in jail for substantial amounts of time, despite having the exact same laws as the ACAB cities.

That sort of area is horrible, you find a lot of weathly leftists move in take over and force out locals, close the shops or pubs and redo them and open them as super fancy hobby business, they will tweet ACAB, BLM, Justice for XYZ, etc while they watch the police haul off a local kid who's stole a pen from your fancy eco freindly, vegan cruelty, free 1000% mark up buzword shop. Or complain about the smell of manure when they move into a rural area and try to sue the farmers to make them use less smelly fertalisers (this has been tried twice that I know of) and there hobby shop is supported by rich husbands or massive trust funds and drive around in 4X4's because they lie in the country but the thing never goes off road unless they have had a bit too much wine at Tristan and Ugines poetry night in the vegan caffee.

 

[King Kiwi]

You know Chris does have an imagination; who else is going to come up with the solar plexus in the house of quasar during the Olympian Moon of the last sorcerer's bonding cosmosis?

He could come up with some original characters, do some world building and have a real plot and stuff.

And after that he can get some mental health and be a functioning member of society.

 

[Ken_Penders69]

I'm just waiting for Chris to hear he's being formally charged for incest/rape and then be told he's going back to jail. It will be the mother of all chimp outs

 

[King Kiwi]

I'm just waiting for Chris to hear he's being formally charged for incest/rape and then be told he's going back to jail. It will be the mother of all chimp outs

Where's the fun in that?

We need to see chimpy on the streets getting spat on and having hot coals thrown on him.

 

[A-№1]

I can't see Chris getting lucky and getting a place with one

I can't see Chris bothering to use it properly. Unless the automatic shutoff is mandatory, he won't touch it.

It might not even be the shop lifting that get's him,

However he fucks up, and he will fuck up, it will probably be something minor and stupid that he will sperg up into something major. That's how it usually ends up with people like Chris; he'll get busted for the shoplifting, but he'll be arrested for the subsequent chimpout.

Chris tends to compound his crimes. Just because the courts are only charging him with misdemeanor incest (for reasons) does not mean that's the only thing he did with Barb.

You can microwave anything.

Technically yes, but it doesn't always come out as food. Usually the problem is the packaging. For example: jiffy pop.

Would Chris bother to read the "Do not microwave" warning? Somehow I think not.

They know that responding to shoplifting won't stop the offender, and they run the risk of being accused of being fascists for arresting brown people.

They also simply don't have the manpower to respond any more.

Go to a conservative jurisdiction, or a limo liberal mansion enclave in the hills, and the shoplifters get arrested, prosecuted, and habitual offenders get locked away in jail for substantial amounts of time, despite having the exact same laws as the ACAB cities.

Three guesses which jurisdictions are having trouble retaining police.

and drive around in 4X4's

Or "electric" cars that run on coal. Which they trade in for a new "electric" car once the batteries wear out.

tl;dr: Those who virtue signal the most are usually the least virtuous.

 

[Spamton G. Spamton]

The response from Chris has not come yet, but I will update that another letter has come in from another prisoner I am a penpal with. So if Chris decides to write back, it will come soon.

 

[oramge cat]

Stop treating him with kid gloves and treat him like an adult, I know he's got mental health problems and retardation but that's besides the point in crimes of this nature it should be taken into account but it's getting him constant light touch treatment that doesn't work.

I agree that the effective punishments for Chris would be illegal but if you make him uncomfertable and let him know that the world wont always treat him nicely or conform to his wishes he will be more hesitant to break the law again, or atleast in such a serious way.

Chris isn’t being treated with kid gloves, he’s receiving the harshest punishment legally allowed for what he did.

Probably not much. Community colleges have always been a cheaper alternative to university, and they were much cheaper back then.

archive.org doesn't have PVCC's website before 2002 (maybe they didn't even have a website until 2002?), but in 2002 it was $40/credit for Virginia residents. By 2006 (the year he graduated finally) it was $68/credit.

We don't know how many credit he took a semester, but assuming the normal full-time 15 credits 2x/year that works out to <$1200/yr when he started and ~$2000/yr when he graduated.

Given how long it took Chris to graduate though, I suspect he wasn't taking a full course load, so his tuition was probably much cheaper per year.

Incidentally, to show how much education costs have gone up even at community colleges, in-state tuition is now $155/credit there.



The court can't force Chris into 14BC, Barb would have to agree to it.



Yes. Chris' tugboat would go directly to the conservator's account, and he would pay the expenses on Chris' behalf. Chris would not be allowed to manage his own money. All of his access to his bank accounts would be revoked and all his debit/credit cards would be shut down.

He'd likely be handed an EBT card to buy groceries without having to spend his tugboat for that (and have to learn to eat for cheap). He might also get a *very* small allowance in a debit account specifically for that purpose, which he would doubtless blow on some lego.

This will probably happen regardless of where Chris ends up.

He probably will not get a guardian however, as the requirements for incapacitation are stricter. Basically they have to show that (from Virginia code):

(i) meet the essential requirements for his health, care, safety, or therapeutic needs without the assistance or protection of a guardian or (ii) manage property or financial affairs or provide for his support or for the support of his legal dependents without the assistance or protection of a conservator.

This can't just be due to making bad decisions, there has to be a condition involved. Now that Chris most likely has documented crippling mental illness from his evaluations, they can probably assign a conservator. They probably can't assign a guardian since Chris is still able to at least dress himself, microwave a Hungry Man, etc.



We don't know how much control Barb has over the situation. If Barb is still not incapacitated, it's up to her, not them. If Barb dies then Chris is still the heir, not Barb's sister.

I had food stamps for a bit when my job closed because of the Great Cough and if you have 2 brain cells to rub together it's really not hard to use what you get to eat good for a month with a month of food stamps. If you know how to cook you can eat like a king on food stamps. So Chris is fucked in this regard but he doesn't have to be.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Chris isn’t being treated with kid gloves, he’s receiving the harshest punishment legally allowed for what he did.

its kinda halfway between the two, he's spent a year in jail away from all his creature comforts but he's still getting his delusions reinforced by enablers. He's probably going to get suspended sentence with time served when he deserves to go away for far longer in real hard time. I'm of a mind that the courts want to go all in and truly punish Chris but can't thanks to as its been said before in this thread. "Chris is more trouble than he's worth.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Chris isn’t being treated with kid gloves, he’s receiving the harshest punishment legally allowed for what he did.

He's receiving the maximum sentence for *the court he's in*. They could have sent him to Circuit Court instead where he could receive 10 years in prison for the same charge. And until he's convicted, they still can, even though they probably won't.