Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

Are you looking forward to seeing Jade's face on camera?

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    Votes: 550 15.6%

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    Votes: 349 9.9%

  • I don't care

    Votes: 2,621 74.5%
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Becoming AmpuLynn could really be a boon for her. It will finally be that big dramatic weightloss surgery she's been wanting, it will cure half of her "athletes feet", and depending on how high up they go could rid her of that pesky cellulitis.

As an extra bonus it will allow her to further her generous philanthropy as she will be able to donate so many half pairs of kayoooot flats!
 
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Wipey is so different from the other " gfs" but when you think about it, it makes sense since she had absolutely nothing going on in her life at the time Becky kicked Amber to the curb. She had no girlfriend, no car, and no steady income. She probably still lived at home or in a dingy apartment that cost too much. No doubt she was astounded at how incredibly easy it was to get Amber, or underestimated AL's desperation to grab onto the first straw thrown at her. So she likely was quite surprised to land a big cash cow on the first cast.
 
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Slappy McGherkin said:
What I didn't know at the time is your liver has nowhere to report pain. At least, not anywhere near its location. Instead, it reports pain to your shoulder and I immediately felt like an Iranian faggot launched off a 5 story building and landing on that shoulder. Followed by shakes and going into mild shock. Took a couple of shots of Demerol in my ass to finally smooth me out.
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"Referred pain", as it's quaintly known. Funny how you get medicos poking and prodding at something only to feel the pain somewhere else and think you're dying., or at least want to grab one of them by the balls until they stop whatever it is they're doing to you.


lol cow supreme said:
Becoming AmpuLynn could really be a boon for her. It will finally be that big dramatic weightloss surgery she's been wanting, it will cure half of her "athletes feet", and depending on how high up they go could rid her of that pesky cellulitis.
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CeLynnLitis. Might as well name it after her.


"Hello, welcome to my vlog."

Come ON, Hamber. You can do better than this. What the hell happened to that cheery "Hi guys!"?

Zero points for the opening.

So.....are we going to have to count the "so" numbers again? Come ON, ReaderLynn! You read 50 millions books in January and now you've already read - excuse me, "read" - a few more. You should be able to vary your sentence length and structure and also not rely on the same word to start every goddamned sentence. It's the sign of lower intelligence to rely so much on crutch words, you know. And WriterLynn should know that not varying sentences structure and length and not beginning every other sentence with the same word us something good writers do. Otherwise, the content is boring and distracting at the same time.

Claims she had an appointment with the shrink today, and "had homework", and I still believe this is all bullshit. Oh, look, how kayute: a binder for her muh mentalz stuff. Sigh. Swell. ShrinkLynn is here to talk at us about CBT. She really is reading at every forum, at Reddit, and the comments of her own videos and those of reaction channel. She isn't intelligent enough on her own to get into the weeds of muh mentalz. I imagine she's reading all the comments and then waddling off to look up things like CBT and the type of handouts actual patients get, etc., so she can continue this charade.

She's "literally obsessed" with the imaginary shrink. That, Hamber, is a red flag, and falls under the umbrella of transference. Now, we all know that you're just a simple retard who is "obsessed" with everything because you just don't have the vocabulary to describe anything beyond a few basic words, so to us, this crap is normal for you. However, watching a few videos of you saying this type of thing would be a major issue for any actual shrink who had to deal with you.

"And I'm worried that, when I move out of state, will I be able to keep" this imaginary shrink because she thinks she won't "vibe" - another stupid crutch word you should lose - with anyone else. Hey, I can answer that for you: NO. This one and done shrink that is your now imaginary shrink won't be licensed there. Ergo, they will not treat you. Ditto for "the girl" who seems to dx everyone as bipolar. You'll have to find some other sucker to prescribe you meds you don't need.

Of course she's eating fried sushi. Of course she's eating sushi that she can't describe well. Of course she's an uncivilized, uncouth bitch who can't be bothered to learn how to use hachi instead of her fat sausage fingers. Of course she's the epitome of the Ugly American.

"Muh "gf" doesn't like ginger, it's the weirdest thing." IT IS NOT WEIRD. Just because you like something and someone else doesn't does not make it "weird". Just like it is not weird that you don't like so very many different foods that other people do, so drop that entitled cunty attitude.

She doesn't know if we notice, but they rearranged the office. How, pray tell, would we fucking notice, exactly? You're never in there. And right now, when you are, your fat fucking body takes up the entire goddamned frame. And why the fuck are you in there, anyway. Doesn't the "gf" have to work? Or did you convince her to quit and you'll support them and keep her in Jordans in exchange for her being there 24/7, so you can pull your same bullshit, keeping an eye on her, and isolating her from the larger world into your own, stank one?

Don't fucking pretend you don't know what a robocall is, bitch.

ReaderLynn and fourth grade book reports. Skip.

She just woke up from a 10 minutes nap, and she's playing with those greasy fucking sideburns. Wash your nasty hair, bitch. Oh goodie, the next Torrid bag. I'll spell their name right, even if she can't. Pulls out a yellow dress, proclaims that it fits. I got news for you, Big Ham:yellow brings out your jaundice, and unless you can wear the thing AS A DRESS, it does not fit. And once again, stop calling shit "she" and "her". It makes you sound even more moronic than you are, because once again, you use these little catchphrases an crutch words as your entire vocabulary, showing that you are not intelligent enough to use different verbiage and upi wind up diminishing the impact of them.

She's trying to fix that nasty poop bun. There is no fixing that, Hamber. You still look like a 50+ year old trailer park grandmother with a two pack a day habit. Cut that fucking hair and wash it.

Now she's talking about "retiring" clothes and giving them to Goodwill. All this shit she is pulling out is one of two things: shit she has won to death, and stretched out from a 6X to an 8X, or shit she bought that didn't fit her, and instead of just returning it, just threw it in the closet as something she would where when she "lost weight", which is never going to happen. So she pulls shit out of the closet, describes it, and then throws it on the floor. Classy. Real classy. Among the things from the first group is that black cardigan she wore absolutely everywhere back in the Eric & Ricky Era, The latter group includes a white dress with eyeglasses on it, that to my knowledge she never wore, although I remember when she bought it, also in the Eric & Ricky Era. There's some equilibrium there. One of the things she's trying on in this section is yet another sweater/cardigan thing, and instead of putting it on like a normal person, she has to get that thumbnail, so tries to put it on both arms at the same time, holding up her fatass arms, which is he thumbnail she selected. But remember people, as horrifying as her arms are - especially those upper arms, which are as large as most peoples' thighs and which are also just fucking creepy, it isn't bad when she clickbaits her body for views and cash. It's only bad if everyone else makes any sort off comment on them. HypocriticaLynn, alive and well.

Ah, the wart on her finger. Correct, Hamber, it is not a wart, but a pressure bump. Why the fuck she feels to read the text on the screen to us is a total fucking mystery, and painful, as well, listening to her try to read it without giant pauses evey two words while she tries to figure out what each word is before saying it. Laugh will still be on you, self-styled "TeacherLynn". It's just another barometer to be used to track your decaying body and eventual transition to the Amputation Era (AKA the Post-"gf" Era, since she ain't sticking around for THAT shit) because you refuse to get proper treatment for the beetus rampaging through your body.

We get some interaction with Rarity, although Big Ham is eye-fucking herself in the camera half the time. She makes up some bullshit story about how she found Rarity and had to bottle feed her, and I laughed so hard I nearly choked on my coffee. It's like you don't understand that videos exist. Things you said on those videos exist. AND, things you DID NOT say on those videos also exit. We all know good damn well that if you bottle fed anything, from a cat to a baby hippo, you'd have blathered on about it for months. As it is, it's just one more stupid, unnecessary lie from your pathologically lying piehole.

Fourth grade arts and crafts with the scratch "art". Skip.

Outro card.

TL;DW/R: All filler content, which is what I think is pretty much all it's going to be from here to when she finally kicks off this mortal coil. Elementary school book reviews. Claims that "we" rearranged the office when we know the "gf" did all that while Hamber sat on her fat shelf ass and directed. Eating sushi. Talking about the imaginary shrink and outpatient program. More clothes that don't fit - excitement, though: a yellow dress that accessorizes so very well with her jaundiced skin! Throws a pile of clothes on the floor to take to Goodwill. Such respect for the serfs and peasants who should be fucking grateful for her bestowing on them her old clothes. Doesn't understand that pressure bumps on diabetics are never a good thing, and that either whatever is causing the bumps needs to be changed, or she needs to get her beetus under control. Rarity sighting, but Hamber ruins it by also being in that bit and telling a made up story for some reason, about how she got the cat. Insipid scratch "art". The end, finally.
 
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Constellationzero said:
Small college I attended used these things called Green Books for quizzes, tests, and finals. All the Green Book is is a green booklet with that title on the cover--like a blank journal made of several pages.

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My college used Blue Books. (How many different colors of exam books are there?!)

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Why do many find it impossible to believe that Amber would pay money to an unqualified HAES "psychologist" to tell her that nothing is her fault and she's amazing? She gets backfat pats from the "psychologist" and the Ambabies, *and* she gets to smug about how she's getting the "help" the Internet told her to, so shut up.

Amber is too lazy (and stupid) to pronounce simple words correctly, but somehow manages to put in the work required to fake the kind of shit a therapist would assign her (and well as a cancer diagnosis).

Okay.
 
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At this point, if she didn't do so much irreparable damage to her body and organs, an addiction transfer to almost anything except food would actually do Ham's Lard some good. But since there's no way she'd survive that and she knows it, sticking to the eating herself to death and being a consumer of worthless, tacky goods will have to do. For someone so afraid of dying, its an interesting choice. Arguably the most interesting and funny thing about her.
 
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Quite impressive that Amberlynn manages to exist as some form of a human, she doesn't have any hobbies besides buying cheap shit and eating cheap shit. Yeah, she's dumb, but you'd think a life that centres almost entirely around eating food would fuck someone up way more. She has so much time and she doesn't use it at all.
Imagine spending a week like her. You can only leave to spend money on buy useless stuff and you have to take the car, you don't even get to drive the car either, if you walk then your distance is limited to a block away and you have to eat constantly, all while recording videos trying to make that lifestyle seem interesting. If she was more self-aware, it'd be a nightmare. Nobody else has the specific fortitude that Amber does to keep up with that.

In the low chance that she makes it past 50-60, the developments of late adulthood aren't going to kind to her. Luckily for her, her rate of decay seems to be increasing and her making it to 40 has pretty low odds
 
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Back to the fucked up sleeping schedule bullshit.
Daily vlogeen for the next 10 days - we all called it; daily videos when she’s not making enough money.
Counting calories, weighing in and a step count every day.
She’s started all these things to be held ‘accountable’ for… but not showered today and slept in her make up.
Pork chops. Pizza. Starbucks including candy. Chicken curry and rice. Halo Top ice cream.
What working at home employee gets free pizza delivered and paid for by their work?
Going for a walk at nearly midnight and listening to a Spotify workout mix - no, she really is
NO mention of her 100 days to walk ONE mile.
Obligatory pathetic tits on camera = check
Plenty of ‘taste test’ feeder content = check
Catchphrases all being used = check
She REALLY needs that money and I love that for her. Fatty is throwing everything at us to try to drum up some engagement with her channel.
This must be killing her, putting out a video virtually every other day and now having to increase to one video per day. We all know she likes to have a month or so holiday at least 2 or 3 times a year. Not this year Boo Boo.
I reckon she might manage 10 days of vlogeen for no other reason than the fat bitch desperately needs the money.
 
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