I love it when asshole customers think employees care if they stop shopping at a particular store. No, please, come back and continue to yell at us over innocuous bullshit we have no control over. We just love being harangued by dicks who are too spineless to take out their frustrations on people who can tell them to fuck off without consequence.
I loved this shit when I did warranty repair at a small computer shop that had basically every contract for every major manufacturer, as well as all the third party extended warranty shit. "The customer is always right" just doesn't apply there. Because the customer isn't the goddamn sped who broke his own computer and is now spastically whining at you. The customer is who is actually paying you and that is the giant corporation thousands of miles away who made that thing, or if you're one of the extended warranty morons, some bullshit company (many of the ones I remember don't exist any more).
I really liked it because the manager (the owner of the store) was a giant asshole who didn't care because his autistic skill at qualifying for every possible computer cert available had basically given him a monopoly on all these things, even though all he actually did at work was constantly try to score with chicks online which he did with remarkable success despite being a fat, socially inept, brazenly Jewish smelly guy who was like a Jewish version of Carl. I remember his face and you could fucking put this in one of those "This ugly fucking bastard is getting laid all the time" ads. He looked and acted like Watto. Don't get me wrong. I like the guy.
Anyway, this tangent was just to get back to the point, about people who come in and expect to be treated like some kind of fucking pretty princess, by people who don't have any reason to do that. Warranty repair isn't like that Best Buy shit where they don't have your money yet but they want it. We're the people who work for someone who already has your fucking money, we don't care. Can you sue us? Good luck.
So these people come in, expect some kind of fucking blowjob just for having bought some utter piece of shit. In my time, that was something like Packard Bell, AST, and oh. . .DELL. Fuck you, Dell, and fuck the shit you make. And seriously, everything else including Apple. Our Apple guy was a ridiculously autistic Rush Limbaugh fan who was fat as a Slaton sister and hated everyone. He was also absurdly knowledgeable about every goddamn Apple product ever made and actually really good at his job. If you could wake him up.
Anyway, to say anyway another time in this already over-length post, we'd sometimes get these dumb threats to stop shopping here from people coming in with some warranty repair.
The general response was to break out laughing. Because we were the only place for 100 miles around who even did this shit. It was like okay, you can go to the other side of the state if you like. We really didn't care. And I was the most polite of the people there, if you can believe that. I tried to treat people like humans, even if they weren't, or barely qualified, or whatever.
Oh, yeah, the reason I responded. About people too spineless to take out their frustrations on people who can actually say no. We had a couple of those. That is, those who had the spine to demand to talk to the manager.
And after I'd be really nice and explain reality to some of these people who didn't comprehend that their warranty didn't entitle them to have their computer instantly repaired by magic, that parts needed to be shipped, that stuff needed to be approved, and whatever, some of them would demand to speak to the manager.
They thought this was some sort of threat and that it would somehow cause me to unleash the magic I was previously withholding and suddenly do the impossible.
I'd just sort of look over to the manager, this deranged Watto clone who didn't give a fuck about anything, and wordlessly let him know this was one of those "I demand to speak to the manager" situations. He actually loved these things.
I was merciful, though. I'd actually ask them "Are you sure you really want to do that?" You know, like one of those popups that say "Apparently, you are trying to do something really fucking dumb. Are you sure you want to do that?" I would tell them this would not lead to anything they'd like.
And when they insisted, I'd pass them off to the manager. Who would actually just take the call in the back room, close the door, and scream obscenities at them and ban them from the store, forcing them to get whatever repairs they wanted from places 100+ miles away.
