Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

How much charisma can a plank of wood have?

Flat is justice!

Seriously, she's serviceable in these movies. It's the scripts themselves that are bad. I don't think Audrey Hepburn could have saved the character as written.

 

[Cactuar King]

Flat is justice!

Seriously, she's serviceable in these movies. It's the scripts themselves that are bad. I don't think Audrey Hepburn could have saved the character as written.

Personally, I'd disagree, I thought she gave a shit performance. And unlike Hayden Christensen, she wasn't being directed to act stiff, that's just how she is.

 

[Sneed F91]

How much charisma can a plank of wood have?

This guy set the standard

Flat is justice!

Seriously, she's serviceable in these movies. It's the scripts themselves that are bad. I don't think Audrey Hepburn could have saved the character as written.

Personally, I'd disagree, I thought she gave a shit performance. And unlike Hayden Christensen, she wasn't being directed to act stiff, that's just how she is.

I think of it like this personally, Daisy sucking in TFA wouldn't have killed whole the movie for me. The shit writing and ADHD directing would have done that.

It also wouldn't have been that bad if she got better throughout the trilogy like Mark Hamill did, but she didn't. She was the same in all 3. You would think Roundhead would direct her differently but I guess not. The only thing that could have distracted from how awful Rey is as a character is if a 10/10 was cast as Rey instead.
It's still wild how JJ just threw her under the bus for her shitty acting.

 

[Mr. Zed da Robot Poon Fed]

"You know, unfortunately, it's just, it was Solo that changed the direction of the system. I like Solo, personally, but it hadn't made a lot of money. It is crazy in some ways to think about it, how it [was directed by one] of the best filmmakers working today. But, just because it didn't hit a certain number, they just had to rethink."

"I am not sure why it failed we had all the right people with the all right credentials it was a home run. No one could see this coming."

This is just a horrible mindset to have. Ron Howard, regardless of what you think of him, does not have enough name-recognition from him being the director alone to drive people to theatres. Few actors today, like Tom Cruise, can alone bring people to theatres. Fewer directors can do that. Even Christopher Nolan's ability to make massive profits in theatres by name alone is starting to wear off.

Steven Spielberg remade West Side Story. Recognizable director name. Recognizable classic movie. Look how that went.

Disney is trapped now. They have spent so much on Star Wars that they have to keep churning out content and merchandise. The fact that it's a franchise with one overarching story means that they cannot pivot or abandon Star Wars either, they have to keep going. Consider what the shareholder response would be if they had to put the brakes on everything to reset with new management and new creative direction. Their pipeline of shows and content is the equivalent of a sales pipeline. They have announced all of it publicly. This is why its all going to go straight onto Disney+ where shareholders cannot get any real visibility over performance like they would with box office numbers. They are just going to kick the can down the road for as long as they can and keep churning out this garbage because they have no choice now.

Star Wars has become a bottomless pit for Disey, and I have had no idea how the execs overseeing Star Wars and the team under Kathleen Kennedy there have managed to hold onto their jobs. However the more you look at their situation, the more you realize that they probably can't move these people out. That would signal that Disney does believe there is a huge problem with Star Wars, the content Kennedy has coming and the state of the franchise overall. The smart thing to do would be for the Disney people to take their licks and fire these people with a hard reset, but then you remember that these are managers focused on their careers and bonuses and there is no way they looking at anything long term.

As mentioned by a previous Kiwi before, Star Wars is on autopilot right now. What's going to happen if Lucasfilm completed filming stories in the "cracks" of the Star Wars Disney timeline? Make a Bail Organa film? It's really pathetic to be doing this.

Han should have progressed as a character since ROTJ, but he didn't. I can't buy that he'd walk up to his own son in an attempt to "bring him back to the light" *autism sigh* without doing something in-character like having a backup plan or clever trick up his sleeve. He just died like a complete idiot and that's the best they could do for such an iconic character. I think Han would only kill him as a last resort. The whole set up feels so forced.

I also can't buy that Han Solo regressed back to being a smuggler despite being honored in the highest regard for saving the fucking galaxy. He should have been a master merchant/businessman or something at the point of TFA.

It's supposedly "in question" for a Chinese release.

They can't remove it without looking homophobic, but the movie is a box office bomb so they need all the money they can get so they'd be smart to put it in China. But as of now they haven't removed the scene and China hasn't approved it.

My problem is the sequel characters stopped progressing halfway through TFA. Rey was established as a Mary Sue who learned the force in a day. Finn has ZERO conflict about defecting after the first act and acts like a buffoon/simp the entire time. Poe is "Han Solo Lite", and who the hell knows what Kylo is supposed to be. JJ is interesting because he's clearly gotten worse as a filmmaker as time goes on. He stopped trying after he realized people will clap at references and big special effects over a good story. TLJ would have to be a soft reboot of TFA in order to work, but a lot of it just doubled down on the stupidity.

If China hasn't approved it by now, they're not going to approve it anytime. This same thing happened with Space Jam 2.

 

[Ghostse]

Seriously, she's serviceable in these movies. It's the scripts themselves that are bad. I don't think Audrey Hepburn could have saved the character as written.

I somewhat disagree; I think Hayden was a good actor but hampered by a often terrible dialogue and direction that had him give a not great performance.

Daisy was a mediocre actor who was definitely not helped by a script that wasn't super great.

 

[Midwit]

How much charisma can a plank of wood have?

I think Americans are just easily impressed by Bri'ish people for some reason, and as an Angloid myself I think that Daisy had the wrong accent for what she was supposed to be.

He should have been a master merchant/businessman or something at the point of TFA.

If he had to be a smuggler again he should've been a bigshot, running his firm with lots of money flowing through, possibly even using his stuff to get supplies to whatever weird shit Leia's doing, maybe he's also using his influence to track down Luke. Then again this makes sense and actually progresses the character so there's no way that Gisnep would have it greenlit.

 

[Cactuar King]

All this talk about Rey and Han reminds me of something I really didn't like about TFA. Rey and Finn just happening to get picked up by Han immediately after they leave Jakku is one of the stupidest, most contrived things ever. I know for plots to happen, you need a certain amount of contrivance, but man if that's not stretching it way past the point of acceptability.

 

[Creep3r]

This is just a horrible mindset to have. Ron Howard, regardless of what you think of him, does not have enough name-recognition from him being the director alone to drive people to theatres. Few actors today, like Tom Cruise, can alone bring people to theatres. Fewer directors can do that. Even Christopher Nolan's ability to make massive profits in theatres by name alone is starting to wear off.

Steven Spielberg remade West Side Story. Recognizable director name. Recognizable classic movie. Look how that went.

Ron honestly strikes me as overrated and lucky. He's just so horribly bland as both a director and an actor. And I still consider him the worst part of Happy Days. Also its incredibly telling just how little he cared about Star Wars when he took over for Lord and Miller when directing Solo. Lord and Miller from what little they got to make packed the film with all sorts of classic SW references, showing that they were actual fans and even dug into Wookieepedo for quick references. Hell they even wanted to feature Tag and Bink from the old parody comics as friends of a young Han Solo at the academy and have some Corellian slice hounds as a throwback to SW Galaxies, yet all of this was cut out by Ron and Kennedy who honestly had no idea what any of these things were and relegating them to background cameos and throwaway references by Lando and his edgy shrapnel sexbot that replaced Vuffi (ironically it seemed Ron bothered to do his research at the last minute and actually shilled them on twitter for a bit but they were still cut), and the slice hounds getting replaced with what were essentially just miniature quadrupedal rancors because they can't think outside the OT boomer/xoomer box.

As mentioned by a previous Kiwi before, Star Wars is on autopilot right now. What's going to happen if Lucasfilm completed filming stories in the "cracks" of the Star Wars Disney timeline? Make a Bail Organa film? It's really pathetic to be doing this.

They're already considering making a show about the queer version of Lando from Solo with the godawful haircut and obnoxious "fembot." And there also used to be rumors that Greedo, the ginger from EA's TFU knockoff, and those jedi kids from Filoni Wars were going to get their own spinoffs at one point but those are up in the air. Unsurprisingly, a lot of fags I know are drooling over the idea of Ponda Baba and Dr. Evazan getting their own spinoffs too with Dr. Aphra, despite that these same hypocrites used to give me no end of shit for movie side characters simply getting a bit of expansion in one chapter of a short story or a side quest in an MMO back in the old days, yet now they want full +100 hour shows revolving around said characters like the hypocrites they are. In the end, I'm convinced these JCF and other SW fags who would bitch and moan in the old days were just pissy because they didn't have the attention span to read comics, books or play video games (most just watch shitty e-celebs play them instead), since all they do now is praise or defend disney whenever they do worse and more soulless versions of things they used to complain about simply because it has a higher production value on the big screen.

Han should have progressed as a character since ROTJ, but he didn't. I can't buy that he'd walk up to his own son in an attempt to "bring him back to the light" *autism sigh* without doing something in-character like having a backup plan or clever trick up his sleeve. He just died like a complete idiot and that's the best they could do for such an iconic character. I think Han would only kill him as a last resort. The whole set up feels so forced.

I also can't buy that Han Solo regressed back to being a smuggler despite being honored in the highest regard for saving the fucking galaxy. He should have been a master merchant/businessman or something at the point of TFA.

It was said a lot back in the early days of the thread that Han had grown significantly in ROTJ, and even pre-disney media showcased that he grew to believe in the Force and took on more responsible work as a military officer and even had his own fleet of smugglers in the Smuggler's guild. Yet all Disney did with him was just make him even more of an irresponsible fuck up whose only growth was a belief in the Force and nothing more, otherwise completely ruining his life and making him lose his wife, his family, his ship, and his life, all so they could satisfy Ford's hate fetish when they could've just had the whole thing take place centuries later long after he died to just have Ford appear as a hologram or flashback. And to add insult to injury all their new tie-in media just portrays him as even more of a prick and hateable husband who pawned off his family belongings for booze and lost his ship in the stupidest way imaginable (he gave it to a kid posing as a valet), all so they can justify their need to have audiences love their replacements more and justify Leia's implied romance with Admiral Dangerhair. Only thing more insulting was having the legacy characters pass on the torch to a bunch of marketing-approved gang of poorly conceived yahoos and an actress with no acting talent and a horrid accent who had zero connections to the legacy characters and making the main villain the faggiest Twilight-tier emo brat in existence. Worst part is seeing the people who want to see the sequels and disney canon retconned not to save the dignity of the tarnished characters and fractured setting, but simply because they want to see Rey and Emo Ren end up together and have her do Yoda training with a washed up Luke.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

Seriously, she's serviceable in these movies.

strangely enough I'm fine with Daisy Rey & what she did especially in comparison to the rest of the new kids on the block. You can't exactly be given a bucket of shit & be expected to produce fine Swiss chocolate. At best she gave us a Mars Bar.

 

[XYZpdq]

Also, looks like the stupid fucking Star Wars Hotel is selling a $5,000 cocktail. What's in it? Fuck knows!

It's got three glowing things!
Also I think it's on the new cruise ship, not the hotel, but I wouldn't be surprised if it ends up at the hotel too

 

[Shekelslovakia]

Also, looks like the stupid fucking Star Wars Hotel is selling a $5,000 cocktail. What's in it? Fuck knows!

FUCKING MUMBLY JOE BIDEN SHIT!!!
For a fucking cocktail?!

You would think for the grand price of 11,000+ for both the cocktail and the entrance fee for this beamusement shamtraction of a "hotel experience" I expect to have a full out Star Ears theme orgy gangbang with all the female cast members at the park*. That or at least get my dick sucked for the 2 days at lease.

*Age permitting.

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

FUCKING MUMBLY JOE BIDEN SHIT!!!
For a fucking cocktail?!

You would think for the grand price of 11,000+ for both the cocktail and the entrance fee for this beamusement shamtraction of a "hotel experience" I expect to have a full out Star Ears theme orgy gangbang with all the female cast members at the park*. That or at least get my dick sucked for the 2 days at lease.

*Age permitting.

Yeah, I want an all day pass to Mizuryuu Kei Land for that price.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I must say out of all the myriad of idiotic decisions that Kennedy had made in Disney-Era Star Wars, firing Lord and Miller is the most baffling and stupid decision that she has ever made. They seem to have a good track record and are capable of making great movies since they never really miss, yet she fired them because they wanted to do a more comedic Star Wars movie? It's just so dumb how the production of Solo was probably the most mismanaged movie in all of Disney Star Wars, until Rise of Skywalker happened.

Like Last Jedi was a shit movie but it looked to be promising from not having many behind the scenes horror stories beyond Mark Hamill's disagreements about Luke and the insistence to keep Leia alive despite Carrie Fisher being dead.

They didn't need to change directors or hire an acting coach mid-production for the lead like Solo did.

 

[Mr Processor]

Also, looks like the stupid fucking Star Wars Hotel is selling a $5,000 cocktail. What's in it? Fuck knows!

It must be gold, or diamonds.

 

[The Lawgiver]

The "movie about space wizards" phrase echoed by media journos and some people online always fucking mildly bothers me because the jedi are explicitly fucking monks and not wizards. Do they have staffs, orbs? wizard towers? Do they go on a fucking adventure with bilbo fucking baggins and fight goblins and shit? No! They have fucking swords and temples and study ancient martial arts. They're fucking monks. Reminds me of the shit post-disney buyout where they just made stormtroopers actively unable to shoot anything as an actual lorepoint despite the 2 times in the OT we see stormtroopers doing a shit job of shooting is when they are ACTIVELY missing to make it seem like they were just shit aim to the point the protagonists realize "oh fuck they're setting us up for something" and when they're fighting fucking ravenous man eating carebears coming at them from all angles innawoods and have no way of fucking seeing the things coming before they hit.

Also holy fucking shit disney's really trying to bleed people dry with those food prices, that level of price gouging should be fucking illegal (and probably would be if it was not disney doing it).

 

[The Decimator]

@The Gangster Computer They were going to have Tag and Bink make a cameo?!? Damn, that would have been sweet.

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

Also, looks like the stupid fucking Star Wars Hotel is selling a $5,000 cocktail. What's in it? Fuck knows!

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Shekelslovakia]

How can you be this excited when you got sidelined in your own show by some directionless superfly heffer named after the Finish word for "Vagina" and an annoying little twat goes from solving all the world's problems to being held captive in a space station against her will and needed to be saved. Also going to Twitter and calling out haters is not what you're supposed to do that in regards.

Fuck you Ewan McGregor.

 

[Mississippi Motorboater]

Bob Chapek's contract renewal is the best kind of karmic destruction to happen to Star Wars, in that it will mark the longest and most unsightly era of cheap, ugly, poorly-made content...the exact kind of content this tainted brand and its legion of screeching consoomer autists deserve. This is the "annually-milked franchise" nightmare that was Iger intended for the brand all the way back in 2013, only materializing under the regime of a corporate raider who specializes in pinching pennies to produce the most lifeless, barebones products possible.

Which might ring as bad news to some, but is only good news to me, since anemic trashfires like Blorba Fatt and Jake Kenobi only vindicate their EU equivalents like The Bounty Hunter Wars and the Kenobi novel.

I look forward to having my favorite media continuously vindicated by Disney's trash, and its consoomer fanbase huffing fumes of copium in the coming three years.

That wasn't even original. The whole thing was something they straight up copied from a cartoon that Filoni was involved in beforehand and had a hard on for.
View attachment 3422085

And even then, Filoni copied THAT from a panel of Star Wars: Purge back in 2005.

​

Just like when he copied Force Unleashed by giving his OC Ahsoka the reverse grip form for her lightsaber when that took off in popularity, then magically decided to give her two reverse sabers in 2010 (gawrsh, I wonder what else came out in 2010), appropriated Maul's robot legs from the Visions comic and the tried to pass it off as his own idea in interviews (despite Katie Lucas correcting him), ripped off the Null Troopers and turned them into his retarded Cabbage Patch Clone OC's, and unceremoniously ripped off Kyle Katarn to make his milquetoast OC Kanan Jarrus. Even his obsession of having Ahsoka ride wolves and wolf imagery being spiritually linked to the Force in everything he makes is rooted in his hard-on for Princess Mononoke, which he has openly stated in interviews countless times.

Because Dave Filoni doesn't have a creative bone in his body. And whenever he isn't stealing, he's overwriting other people's work, as Bad Batch so egregiously demonstrated.

Honestly, I don't think Chapek is at fault for a lot of Disney's current problems.

Chapek is 100% at fault for how much Disney is in the shitter right now. This Retarded Egg of a Human was already despised the bulk of Disney's inner staff and Imagineers for his abysmal tenure as the Head of the Parks Division, within which he set the standard for his cost-cutting baboonery by drastically lowering the costs involved in the parks, sending attraction quality and ride expansion down the toilet, and pissing off the Park Community and the internal Imagineers off so much, they single his contributions out as the worst thing to happen to the Disney Parks since the trainwreck that was Euro Disney. He was also heavily involved in the planning and execution of Galaxy's Edge, which showcased his approach to making cheap and budgeted entertainment: a glorified strip mall with overpriced and low-quality food (that's routinely called out by park enthusiasts as apallingly low-effort even by Disney standards, with one of their premiere dishes being a literal hot dog wrap complimented by store-bought fucking Sun Chips), a glorified arcade sim Millennium Falcon ride, and a Rise of the Resistance main attraction so poorly designed that it almost never works as intended, and will likely never be repaired or remodeled thanks to Chapek's legendary aversion to expensive park refurbishment. And naturally, when Galaxy's Edge failed to garner the long-term guest attendance to please shareholders, Chapek passed the blame to someone else in the department and had her fired instead.

And this is all before he became CEO. Once he succeeded Iger, all of his wort tendencies as Park Supervisor began to flood forward, infecting every branch of the company. All of a sudden, the MCU movies are suddenly plagued by horrendously bad green-screen and atrocious CGI in spite of their mountainous budgets as FX studios like ILM are given less resources and less time...something that's already making its way to Disney Plus, if She-Shrek is any indication. And speaking of Disney Plus, you might have also noticed that the first season of Blandalorian sported some pristine production values and movie-quality FX, before abruptly transitioning into the CW Network-tier production value of Blorba Fatt and the near fan-film level quality of Jake Kenobi. Almost like Blando Season 1 benefitted from being made under the looser budget restrictions just as Iger was departing, and every series made under Chapek's full transition into CEO have been cheap and butt-ugly. Not a coincidence I'm sure.

And if you thought Chapek's shenanigans involving the parks were bad when he was spearheading that division as a mere executive, whoo boy...his park antics as CEO are even worse. Stymying Imagineer input, shutting down countless projects before concept stage, moving Imagineers from California to Florida in order to exploit tax breaks, and stifling creativity to the point where former Imagineers themselves were publicly petitioning to have him removed as CEO (something that happened WELL in advance of Chapek's "Don't Say Gay" controversy, so handwaving the petition as part of that blowback doesn't work). All while outright destroying his public relations with park fans. And by destroying PR, I mean clownish shit like cutting back food portions and increasing prices and justify it by turning around and calling park-goers "fat", as well as defying all logic and reason by charging money for Fast Passes, a service that has been free at the parks for the better part of 40 years. That last one is especially important, because it was greeted with the worst public reception of any Parks Announcement in history, and soiled Chapek's credibility so much that he can't go to public park events or D23 conferences without being booed, so much so that he covertly ducked out of attending D23 2021 without so much as a formal announcement...and when longtime park bloggers pointed it out, Chapek--being an insecure, rotund little shit--actually sent his PR Hounds to drag those bloggers against the shoals and shame them.

Oh, and about Chapek relocating park creation teams to Florida in order to get a cut on tax breaks? The long-term damage for that is already being seen at the California parks, where they have a drastically understaffed park team to handle both Disneyland and California Adventure...the epitome of which is the first Chapek-led Park Expansion of the new era, the California-exclusive Avenger's Campus. This is significant because this is the first project greenlit, supervised and driven by Chapek himself--whereas Galaxy's Edge was Iger and Kennedy's vision executed through Chapek's horrendous maneuvering. How bad is Avenger's Campus, the expansion meant to capitalize on Disney's most profitable IP? Well, it's already being trashed as a cheap, low-budget, Six Flags-tier abomination, frought with craptacular stunt shows and literal magician shows to entertain toddlers, poorly-tested and horrendously executed FX, and a Spider-Man ride so budgeted it was actually outsourced to a company that produces cheap VR rides to strip malls and Legoland. I shit you not. And of course, there's the Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser Hotel, which has been documented extensively on this thread, and is so spectacularly cheap that its highlight attractions have become the target of near-universal mockery from all over the internet.

So, yeah, if anyone wants to know what the next three years of Disney is going to look like under Chapek's leadership, expect more of this, but on a larger scale, with even lower stock prices and even louder fan backlash.

And I can't wait.

It's still wild how JJ just threw her under the bus for her shitty acting.
View attachment 3441618

Considering the kind of shrieking, overacting autists that Abrams regularly furnishes his films with, I imagine any performance that swings lower than "loud and cartoonish tard theatrics" would come off as wooden to him.

This isn't to defend Ridley in the slightest, by the way. The woman has the range of a Chuck E. Cheese water pistol.

 

[Mr Processor]

The "movie about space wizards" phrase echoed by media journos and some people online always fucking mildly bothers me because the jedi are explicitly fucking monks and not wizards. Do they have staffs, orbs? wizard towers? Do they go on a fucking adventure with bilbo fucking baggins and fight goblins and shit? No! They have fucking swords and temples and study ancient martial arts. They're fucking monks. Reminds me of the shit post-disney buyout where they just made stormtroopers actively unable to shoot anything as an actual lorepoint despite the 2 times in the OT we see stormtroopers doing a shit job of shooting is when they are ACTIVELY missing to make it seem like they were just shit aim to the point the protagonists realize "oh fuck they're setting us up for something" and when they're fighting fucking ravenous man eating carebears coming at them from all angles innawoods and have no way of fucking seeing the things coming before they hit.

Also holy fucking shit disney's really trying to bleed people dry with those food prices, that level of price gouging should be fucking illegal (and probably would be if it was not disney doing it).

I always assumed the Jedi were loosely based on the Shaolin Monks. In The 36th Chamber of Shaolin, it's clear the monks are studying traditional weapons and martial arts not to fight, but as a path to enlightenment. That would explain why the Jedi Order was studying light saber combat despite being more interested in better understanding the force than in actual combat. I mean, even Tarkin describes it as a religion.