Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Godzilla@1989]

How can you be this excited when you got sidelined in your own show by some directionless superfly heffer named after the Finish word for "Vagina" and an annoying little twat goes from solving all the world's problems to being held captive in a space station against her will and needed to be saved. Also going to Twitter and calling out haters is not what you're supposed to do that in regards.

Fuck you Ewan McGregor.

I’m seeing a pattern here. A character comes back to their iconic character, gets shit on hard by shitty writing that destroys them to the point that their actors becomes deranged.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

 

[Mississippi Motorboater]

I always assumed the Jedi were loosely based on the Shaolin Monks. In The 36th Chamber of Shaolin, it's clear the monks are studying traditional weapons and martial arts not to fight, but as a path to enlightenment. That would explain why the Jedi Order was studying light saber combat despite being more interested in better understanding the force than in actual combat. I mean, even Tarkin describes it as a religion.

You assumed incorrectly. The Jedi Knights, from their very first inception of the first SW draft, Journal of the Whills, was that they were rooted in the sensibilities of Japanese Samurai...who have historically tethered a spiritual component to their warrior culture, even to the point of flanderization in their own recounts of historical battles and pivotal events. Everything from the Jedi Order's manner of dress, their ritualistic behavior in and out of Temple surroundings, and their discipline of "defend first, attack second" (which fans routinely misconstrue as a form of pacifism, when it's literally a principle of martial arts, and a fairly basic one at that, loudly emphasized in works such as Miyamoto Musashi's Book of Five Rings which repeatedly emphasizes the tactical importance of watching and reacting to enemy movements--"from one thing, learn a thousand things").

The big giveaway, besides the aesthetic similarities and the countless nods to Kurosawa films throughout the films, is in their name: "Jedi" is a purposeful nod to the word jidai-geki, which is a catch all Japanese term for historical genre pieces, of which classic samurai cinema like Seven Samurai, Yojimbo and The Hidden Fortress all belong.

This is one of the reasons I find the routinely-uttered complaint against the PT about "Anakin and the Jedi talk weird, nobody talks like that in real life" hilarious, because it just loudly signifies that any asshat who makes that argument wouldn't possibly be able to sit through one episode of a historical Taiga drama or some costume piece like Ran without falling asleep in the near twenty minute sequences of flowery court dialogue or stiff tactical discussions, or shut it off after complaining that the characters "act like robots, not people."

Because that stiff, formal, and ritualized behavior that the Jedi have in the Prequels? Yeah, that's how fucking samurai behave in Japanese television and movies.

Y'know, those things OT Purists claim the prequels deviated from, but haven't actually fucking seen.

 

[God of Nothing]

This is one of the reasons I find the routinely-uttered complaint against the PT about "Anakin and the Jedi talk weird, nobody talks like that in real life" hilarious, because it just loudly signifies that any asshat who makes that argument wouldn't possibly be able to sit through one episode of a historical Taiga drama or some costume piece like Ran without falling asleep in the near twenty minute sequences of flowery court dialogue or stiff tactical discussions, or shut it off after complaining that the characters "act like robots, not people."

Because that stiff, formal, and ritualized behavior that the Jedi have in the Prequels? Yeah, that's how fucking samurai behave in Japanese television and movies.

Y'know, those things OT Purists claim the prequels deviated from, but haven't actually fucking seen.

Yoda and Obi talked a lot like that in the OT too, funny thing is, and eventually Luke spoke like them in Jedi.
who knew the people about detaching from the world spoke like they weren't of it

 

[Sneed F91]

Luke blew up the death star.

*Jyn Erso blew up the death star, bigot.

Like Last Jedi was a shit movie but it looked to be promising from not having many behind the scenes horror stories beyond Mark Hamill's disagreements about Luke and the insistence to keep Leia alive despite Carrie Fisher being dead.

TLJ seems like it has less BTS issues solely because Kathleen let Rian do whatever retarded shit he wanted. None of the returning actors from TFA liked working on it and if you watch the documentary you can see the production crew being completely baffled by Rian's decisions, but going along with them because he's the director, even if his decisions were terrible.

The big giveaway, besides the aesthetic similarities and the countless nods to Kurosawa films throughout the films, is in their name: "Jedi" is a purposeful nod to the word jidai-geki, which is a catch all Japanese term for historical genre pieces, of which classic samurai cinema like Seven Samurai, Yojimbo and The Hidden Fortress all belong.

Star Wars fans rarely know shit about anything other than Star Wars. George said it himself.

This is one of the reasons I find the routinely-uttered complaint against the PT about "Anakin and the Jedi talk weird, nobody talks like that in real life" hilarious, because it just loudly signifies that any asshat who makes that argument wouldn't possibly be able to sit through one episode of a historical Taiga drama or some costume piece like Ran without falling asleep in the near twenty minute sequences of flowery court dialogue or stiff tactical discussions, or shut it off after complaining that the characters "act like robots, not people."

If you want Star Wars characters "talking like real people", watch the sequels. It's the type of quippy, Whedon-esque MCU bullshit most of these people really want, and even then the dialogue is still bad.

How can you be this excited when you got sidelined in your own show by some directionless superfly heffer named after the Finish word for "Vagina" and an annoying little twat goes from solving all the world's problems to being held captive in a space station against her will and needed to be saved. Also going to Twitter and calling out haters is not what you're supposed to do that in regards.

Fuck you Ewan McGregor.

This is why I don't feel too bad about the actors in these movies (even if I still feel something having to act in this garbage). They got paid. Sure some got paid way less than others (Boyega and Ridley compared to Harrison Ford in TFA), but they still got paid. The audience watches this shit entirely for free, except maybe the shills, and don't get paid for it.

 

[The handsome tard]

TPM could have been a flashback in AOTC, but George doesn't like flashbacks and he's not lazy like JJ and Rian when it comes to that stuff. Seeing flashbacks in the sequels was so jarring.

Flashbacks are honestly something of a lazy writing tool. Its not always bad to use them but I feel like their usage has to be consistent and honestly as a last resort.

SW never had flashbacks until the sequels and its pretty telling that this isnt being directed in a style consistent with the previous movies. It looks like Star Wars but it is not star wars.

Disney could buy the brand but not its soul.

There was no plan, no vision.

Scenes like this take a whole different meaning once you keep that in mind...

Disney is trying to not piss off Florida any more than they already have, and probably don't trust the token bulldyke to able to play diplomat with DeSantis/not dig the hole deeper in a fit of pique.

Disney wont be truly woke until they place a trans woman of color there.
Dew it Disney, dew it.

Destroy yourself.

 

[Flexo]

Hell they even wanted to feature Tag and Bink from the old parody comics as friends of a young Han Solo at the academy

@The Gangster Computer

Wait... Are you serious?

Well now I'm pissed! Tag and Bink were my favorite part of the EU! (after Skippy, peace be upon him)

I imagine any performance that swings lower than "loud and cartoonish tard theatrics" would come off as wooden to him.

@Mississippi Motorboater

I present this rare documentation of JJ directing...

 

[Aaron McIntyre]

SW never had flashbacks until the sequels and its pretty telling that this isnt being directed in a style consistent with the previous movies. It looks like Star Wars but it is not star wars.

This is one the biggest problems with the sequels. The props, the ships, the soundtrack, it's all there, but they make no attempt to be consistent with the filming techniques, narrative structure and core themes from the original six films. Anyone with a more than surface level understanding of Star Wars can tell that I-VI and VII-IX aren't really parts the same story.

 

[NaggotFigger]

How can you be this excited when you got sidelined in your own show by some directionless superfly heffer named after the Finish word for "Vagina" and an annoying little twat goes from solving all the world's problems to being held captive in a space station against her will and needed to be saved. Also going to Twitter and calling out haters is not what you're supposed to do that in regards.

Obi-Wan Kenobi was the best thing Disney give out to us in 2022, and it's not even the best, just straight up weak and mediocre with the shit direction and poor writing. How excited are they for just a clusterfuck of a slightly passable TV show? How excited? It's not even on par with TLJ, and that's the hype for it? That's sad.
The more sadder thing is that Deborah Chow tried so hard matching up the cinematography and directing to par with the other movies, but end up being disappointing and shaky at the same time. Jesus Christ.
Imagine the money they received from acting for the show.

 

[Shekelslovakia]

Obi-Wan Kenobi was the best thing Disney give out to us in 2022, and it's not even the best, just straight up weak and mediocre with the shit direction and poor writing. How excited are they for just a clusterfuck of a slightly passable TV show? How excited? It's not even on par with TLJ, and that's the hype for it? That's sad.
The more sadder thing is that Deborah Chow tried so hard matching up the cinematography and directing to par with the other movies, but end up being disappointing and shaky at the same time. Jesus Christ.
Imagine the money they received from acting for the show.

She didnt try hard enough in fact she should have not even been on the sets to begin with. For one Star wars never had shaky Cam and when they did it was a post production after effects (See AOTC). Another is how the lighting was so dark where the blacks (color) are so crushed by the contrast that it looks like that either my TVs broken or Patrick Star left the lens cap on the camera for the entire shoot. This is why when they used to shoot on film they had to get powerful heat lamps that would have a temperature well into the 90s but gave off that warm glow making it evenly balance throughout the entire shot with digital all you need to do is just have one LED light in the background and after effects do the rest. Trust me I was in a one-year lighting course and seen so many bad examples of poor lighting in Media thoughout the years.

 

[Sneed F91]

The props, the ships, the soundtrack, it's all there

I'd argue they're "satisfactory", but a cheap facsimile of the real thing (the OT). The music apart from a few pieces is just tired and boring. The PT soundtracks kick the shit out of whatever is in the sequels. I don't really care for the "Original Trilogy but not really" aesthetic they have going on. I don't care about Gen X nostalgia. Just do something new. The iPod Troopers especially can just fuck off.

Anyone with a more than surface level understanding of Star Wars can tell that I-VI and VII-IX aren't really parts the same story.

Absolutely. The sequels have no consistency, sincerity, logic, or spirituality.

She did try hard enough in fact she should have not even been on the sets and stay one Star wars never had shaky Cam and when they did it was a post production after effects (See AOTC). How to get being filmed in the dark where the blacks (color) are so crushed by the contrast that it looks like that either my TVs broken or Patrick Star left the lens cap on the camera for the entire shoot. This is why when they used to shoot on film they had to get powerful heat lamps that would have a temperature well into the 90s but gave off that warm glow making it evenly balance throughout the entire shot with digital all you need to do is just have one LED light in the background and after effects do the rest. Trust me I was in a one-year lighting course and seen so many bad examples of poor lighting in Media thoughout the years.

They just use the whole OT was dark and gritty thing as an excuse to be lazy as shit when it comes to cinematography, especially on the D+ shows. They're so ugly.

 

[Bulk Bogan]

I will die on the hill that TPM was a wasted episode number

It's the worst of the actual SW movies. AotC at least drives the overall story forward, for all its flaws. What do you miss when you skip straight to AotC? Anakin comes from sand hell, loves his mommy, and is the Chosen One, maybe.

TPM could have been a flashback in AOTC

Flashbacks aren't the best, but all important elements from TPM could have been covered in some dialogue in AotC. Let AotC be Episode I, then chunk the best of the Clone Wars Filonifest into Episode II, then Episode III can be as it stands with some tweaks. Still not really good movies, but from this point I think the needed fixes become less drastic.

Make a Bail Organa film?

You're lying to yourself if you say you're saying you don't want to see more space Jimmy Smits. Maybe it could be a political drama detailing the post Delegation of 2000 maneuvering that leads Organa, Bel Iblis and Mon Mothma towards the formal creation of the Rebellion. This takes place in the timeline where Disney doesn't shit the bed, of course.

Reply bug @Mississippi Motorboater "Which might ring as bad news to some, but is only good news to me, since anemic trashfires like Blorba Fatt and Jake Kenobi only vindicate their EU equivalents like The Bounty Hunter Wars and the Kenobi novel."

Vindication feels good. Should I get Bounty Hunter Wars? I was pretty iffy on it since I never had any special attachment to Boba as a character, but I always need more stuff to read.

 

[Sneed F91]

You're lying to yourself if you say you're saying you don't want to see more space Jimmy Smits.

I thought I did, but then Rogue One and Kenobi's Babysitting Adventures proved I really didn't.

 

[There Is Light At The End]

Not sure if it posted here, but here's some fan edit of Obi-Wan monologue from New Hope.

 

[Kramer on the phone]

Why can't someone just force the RLM guys to tell people that the reason star wars sucks is because the jews faked the holocaust?

imagine how much better society would be if those shitheads used their powers of brainwashing for good

 

[Registration]

Stam Fine finally made a video about Ep II, it is so much fun to see just a fun video about the movies without going full autism and explaining how the films vs digitals helped everyone in retrospect.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nr2M_Z4nnpY

I just found out that one of my favorite stories in SW was kinda mentioned in the obiwan series (just the name of the planet, Jabiim), you know, if this was any other franchise, this would be cool, but since it is fucking disney wars, it just feels hollow and hopeless.

 

[Midwit]

SW never had flashbacks until the sequels and its pretty telling that this isnt being directed in a style consistent with the previous movies. It looks like Star Wars but it is not star wars.

I knew something felt off about TFA when I watched it, the film just didn't look like Star Wars and it was almost certainly the way it was filmed. Abram's frenetic action style is massively at odds with Lucas' more documentarian style and you notice the disconnect immediately, and that's without seeing how all the aliens and ships are either generic or shit you've already seen but 30% different, and always in a bad way.

 

[5t3n0g0ph3r]

that's without seeing how all the aliens and ships are either generic or shit you've already seen but 30% different, and always in a bad way.

That was one of the things (among many) that bugged me about the sequels is the lack of creativity regarding the aliens.
They're very bland and nothing stands out (should tell you about the creative bankruptcy at Disney-owned Lucasfilm).
At least the aliens in the OT & PT grabbed your attention when you saw them. The Mos Eisley Cantina scene is the most notable.
And I don't even remember the ST ships' designs since they just aped the OT ships with the excuse "Well, we still use 30-40-year-old designs for our ships, so it makes sense if the factions in Star Wars do, too."
These people do not know fantasy or escapism.
What people would have liked was a passing of the torch to a new generation that pays homage to the old while telling a new tale with a new threat. They couldn't even do that!
At least Top Gun did it right.

 

[Bulk Bogan]

At least the aliens in the OT & PT grabbed your attention when you saw them. The Mos Eisley Cantina scene is the most notable.

You know the really ironic part of that? The Cantina scene is like 70% Halloween masks bought from whatever the 1970s version of Spirit Halloween was. There's a devil and a werewolf and because there's color and variety and also the makeup people put a modicum of effort into elevating what were at their core cheap rubber masks, they blow the multi-million dollar professional CG brown anus-eye Disney aliens out of the water.

And speaking of CG, as disgusting as Dexter Jettster's horrifying moustache is, I'll take a fat four-armed 1950s space lizard with a soiled broom over his lip over yet another dirt colored slug. How can they spend so much money and still look so cheap? They can do literally anything they want and yet an indie film from the 70s is more visually interesting.

 

[Shekelslovakia]

Can we get into discussion about how the music in all of these Disney wars projects aren't memorable and generic MCU capeshit noise? I mean rogue one did have a few notable themes, along with some of John Williams work with the sequels but otherwise what are we trying to expect out of modern composition these days. Lack of themes, reframes, poor mixing? Being recorded digitally instead of analog? Who's the catalyst?