I don't feel sexual attraction-- I completely lack a libido, I find sex disgusting, and actively despise people who whore themselves out. I have a neurological disorder. That is all.
There's nothing disordered here. In fact given your lifestyle you would have to have something wrong with you to not be pretty miserable. I've ranted about health and its relation to emotional issues and OCD-like symptoms plenty of other times on the site.
That said, there are too many people in the world who are struggling who aren't selfish and think everyone else's life is effortless to waste energy coddling individuals like you anymore.
None of this will help you, you're going to regret it, it'll just make you less healthy and more miserable, that's obvious, there's no point in wasting time arguing about it.
As such my recommendation to you would be that if you believe every bit of your humanity is some kind of error I'd suggest suicide, that's an easier way to escape. We'll all be dead in an arbitrary amount of time anyways, how long ago was it that you felt like a little kid? Probably like it was yesterday. It'll feel that way when you wake up as an old person, and you're going to the same place regardless, so why not just skip ahead?
I am one of you, I've just got a few setbacks. I may not be male, but I am a man. And I'll go to any extreme to make sure nobody calls me a woman, no matter how fucked up.
If you were a man you'd value your health and your body as a tool, if for no other reason than that the people around you who might not be as strong or secure rely on you. Deliberately harming your body is antithetical to being a man (that's probably why women tend to be cutters and not men). So is self obsession, especially about superficial elements like identity and social labels.
Part of being a man is doing what you logically know is right for others regardless of how you feel. And thus you should recognize that as a self admitted mutant from conception who can't possibly operate normally you should sacrifice yourself to stop dragging others down and wasting resources. Why do you think there's been such a spike in suicide among middle aged white guys? If you know you aren't of use anymore, there's only one thing left to do.
That would be why men try to become strong and useful, because men are what they do, and if you do nothing you are nothing.
So ok, now you're "one of us", so now you're worth less to me than when you were a woman. Congrats faggot, go quietly get fit and learn some trades or blow your brains out.