Which poster is most likely to be a Fed

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Look, today's a special day in the United States. The right time to look deep inside yourself and realize that when you really think about it, aren't we all feds in our own special way? Or maybe the real feds were the friends we made along the way?

You can't spell "friends" without "feds" after all.
 
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I am vomit said:
What if every user except you is a glow nigger?
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Paranoia is a virtue. It's like the first rule of gun safety: every gun is loaded. The modern, online corollary to 'every gun is loaded' is 'every user except you is a glow nigger.' Not everyone is, of course, just as not every gun is loaded, but the principle remains the same. Make it your working assumption until proven otherwise.

When the STASI archives were opened after Germany was reunified, it was found one out of every 63 East Germans were paid STASI informants--and that's in addition to 170,000+ fulltime STASI operatives, with many of those operatives working undercover. Thanks to advances in surveillance and other technologies, imagine how much more powerful such capabilities are now. Now imagine at least some of those capabilities are aimed right at your sorry white ass.

So yeah: paranoia. Hold it close.
 
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don’t ask me how I came across this information, but @SandyCat has been plotting an MKUltra experiment on you all. You’re all programmed to go into a killing frenzy anytime you hear the trigger words “five dollar footlongs” the clues are all in his avatar.

I’ve said too much. I’m probably a dead man by morning. God help us all
 
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