Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[abobe]

I don't think pastors talk about God and the Bible as much as Jack. Give it a rest. We know you're a holier than thou Christian.

 

[Pig Cups]

Another summer camp of touching young boys for Junior.


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Junior looks like a fucking Neanderthal. If he keeps ballooning and his hairline sees some nice recession, he may wind up looking like an amalgamation of his father and TPB’s Sam Losco.


His continuous efforts to access younger boys looks fucking weird, no matter how you try to explain it. Not even the “misses the innocence of youth, so he’s reliving it” excuse works here, since Michael Jackson proved that to be totally apologist. And Junior once contemplated becoming a youth pastor- a major red flag. Not that all youth pastors are pedofilth, but the position and work environment attracts its fair share of scumbags, so it always looks sus. Maybe Junior will become the next Deonte Carraway (I hope not).

Now I'm picturing Jack's stroke arm going up in flames after he tries using it to hold a sparkler.

I’m looking forward to the day when the beetus starts ruining his eyesight.

“Uhkay guiyz, I got a new way of cooking hot dogs. Come on in close.”

(Proceeds to try and cook 5 hot dogs on his grill, then starts screaming because his hand is on fire.)

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

I don't think pastors talk about God and the Bible as much as Jack. Give it a rest. We know you're a holier than thou Christian.

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L oh fucking L. People like Jack are the exact reason many people don't like Christians. Loud, opinionated, and dumb mixed with a healthy dose of holier than thou attitude while employing none of the Bible's teachings, with a sprinking of bon mots like "it's God's will" or "thoughts and prayers" when faced with a tragedy or their own shortcomings.

 

[jitter]

I saw a tiktok last night demoing one of these Vidalia Chop Wizards. Jack is a glutton for As Seen on TV junk and seems like a bonafide kitchen tool for disabled folks. Why hasn't he bought one of these yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SX9QZXyNYJk

 

[Joe Mayo]

L oh fucking L. People like Jack are the exact reason many people don't like Christians. Loud, opinionated, and dumb mixed with a healthy dose of holier than thou attitude while employing none of the Bible's teachings, with a sprinking of bon mots like "it's God's will" or "thoughts and prayers" when faced with a tragedy or their own shortcomings.

The issue with Evangelicals is they're not really a religious movement so much as they're a political movement with religious elements. They're more concerned with politics than with any sort of spirituality or religious enlightenment.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

I don't think pastors talk about God and the Bible as much as Jack. Give it a rest. We know you're a holier than thou Christian.

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If that's the case then he's basically saying he's a bad bible. Anybody who looks at Jagoff and thinks "this is a Christian" would come away with a really warped view of it.

The issue with Evangelicals is they're not really a religious movement so much as they're a political movement with religious elements. They're more concerned with politics than with any sort of spirituality or religious enlightenment.

They're both and we can blame President Reagan for courting them in order to get more votes.

That's really what started their descent into politics.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

I'd literally have now seen. Jack's out here inventing new verb tenses.

"I'd literally have seen it all. I just saw a person Jack Scalfani melt cheese all over a pickle and call it healthy."

 

[TurdFondler]

I saw a tiktok last night demoing one of these Vidalia Chop Wizards. Jack is a glutton for As Seen on TV junk and seems like a bonafide kitchen tool for disabled folks. Why hasn't he bought one of these yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SX9QZXyNYJk

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How is this functionally different than the slap chop?

 

[She Brings The Rain]

Holy shit, he is looking more rotund and swollen than ever in that biscuit video. It looks like it would physically hurt to have a stomach that distended.

Also, those biscuits looked like absolute shit. They were dry as hell, and I can tell by the jump cut and the way he only took one bite that Jack thought they were ass, too.

 

[Lenzperkins]

Jack looks so stupid with that bucket hat. I hope he wears it often from now until his inevitable fourth stroke so we have many chance to point and laugh at it.

I’ve noticed that on the rare occasion Jagoff is caught on film walking moving from one spot to the next, he needs to make these weird 90degree turns.

That’s because he blew off the effort of rehab and is now left with basically needing to throw his hip into each and every L or R of what normally should be subtle, natural movement.

So, dude comes off moving around our planet as if he’s some 5 foot tall space creature that’s just landed from a distant star system

Ever seen him walk before the stroke? The guy was a walking time bomb.

 

[JimmyNugget]

I hope the observation of the Jackus Rotundus Maximus ends sometime soon. His species of landwhale is due for their third stroke around this time in their adult life, with many needing only one or two. He's already somehow had offspring, so his purpose is fulfilled. Does this particular specimen have some drive to die from parasites from uncooked food?

 

[Joe Mayo]

Ever seen him walk before the stroke? The guy was a walking time bomb.

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Looks like Jack finally had enough of those turkeys knocking on his door.

 

[MarkIV]

I hope the observation of the Jackus Rotundus Maximus ends sometime soon. His species of landwhale is due for their third stroke around this time in their adult life, with many needing only one or two. He's already somehow had offspring, so his purpose is fulfilled. Does this particular specimen have some drive to die from parasites from uncooked food?

Jack is the prime American.
Eat a shit ton,
buy all the crap, '
be' christian,
have on going health issues due to consumption and die by 65

 

[Pig Cups]

Ever seen him walk before the stroke? The guy was a walking time bomb.


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This reminds me of a video my friend made of himself upon his diagnosis, before being ravaged by ALS. And watching that video in the days before he passed was unspeakably creepy. I realized THAT’S the vibe these old Jack videos give off. You just can’t not think about the future deaths of some of the depicted limbs and functions, which is only magnified when you’re at the point of a death watch. It’s…spooky.

Even seeing Jack walk like that is a massive improvement to where he is now. Christ, does his life suck.

I saw a tiktok last night demoing one of these Vidalia Chop Wizards. Jack is a glutton for As Seen on TV junk and seems like a bonafide kitchen tool for disabled folks. Why hasn't he bought one of these yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SX9QZXyNYJk

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Most versions of those devices are decent- it may actually be one of my favorite kitchen gadgets. Mine’s a Nicer Dicer Fusion, and it makes killer chopped salads.


One of these would serve Jack well. Cleans easily, and cuts everything evenly for even cooking. The top also has a spring system that automatically raises the lid after you press it down. Perfect for a Lazy Man!

 

[Joe Mayo]

 

[feral cat #6385]

All of Mushbrain's trademarks have expired, except for "Cooking with Jack."
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What about Jack on the Go?

 

[abobe]

There's an upcoming JoTG where the food being served looks good. Unfortunately for Jack, he gets caught in a lie in the comments of his post. How much gaslighting of his own fans will Jack do just to get out of this lie?

 

[Dondeld Dock]

There's an upcoming JoTG where the food being served looks good. Unfortunately for Jack, he gets caught in a lie in the comments of his post. How much gaslighting of his own fans will Jack do just to get out of this lie?

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I expect him to just delete the post if it goes further than that. But nevertheless, quite a thing to lie from, where literally anyone can just google the menu and see if there really is KETO bread. Way to go Jack.

 

[captkrisma]

I expect him to just delete the post if it goes further than that. But nevertheless, quite a thing to lie from, where literally anyone can just google the menu and see if there really is KETO bread. Way to go Jack.

Like clockwork:

 

[Chorton]

There's an upcoming JoTG where the food being served looks good. Unfortunately for Jack, he gets caught in a lie in the comments of his post. How much gaslighting of his own fans will Jack do just to get out of this lie?

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Like clockwork:View attachment 3462174

Absolutely hilarious, he always seems to tell on himself, doesn’t he? I guess once something has been deleted, it never happened.

He just couldn’t take the keto/profile by sanford jokes anymore and just decided to straight up lie now to get people off his back. Is lying no longer a sin to this sanctimonious moron? Expect a rude and hypocritical Facebook post about this soon, featuring the smug bitmoji of course.