You are really hung up on us being into guns. I don't understand how getting into the nitty gritty of how we are into guns or getting some other hobby you approve of has anything to do with my posts.
I feel like you're purposely misunderstanding the point I want to make at this point, either because of how polarizing guns are, or you feel the need to be defensive over it. Don't.
Let's take guns out of it and replace it with something equally vague. Like cars. Or movies. Or, shit, I dunno, music.
Just to be clear, guns are a perfectly fine passion to have. I don't give a fuck what your stance on the 2nd amendment is. Replace gun with cars, movies, music if you still think I have a problem about it.
Anyway, you know how on dating apps like Tinder you get shown profiles of people based on your common interests and hobbies you put into your profile? And when you do get a match, it turns out that even though you like guns, cars, movies, or music, you have absolutely nothing in common with the person you matched with? That 100 percent applies to friends too.
My point, from the very beginning, is that if guns are the only interest or hobby you have with these friends, you aren't going to have a lot of meaningful opportunities to know them better or genuinely bond with them.
Being interested in guns by itself can mean anything from keeping a collection of antique rifles to liking to blow steam shooting buckshot at watermelons in the middle of the woods. If you hadnt considered it already, in what ways do your friends enjoy guns? Do conversations amongst all of you drift into specific minutae of guns? Or is it just a general appeal of guns that's keeping this friend circle barely together?
I assume it's the latter, as they were significantly more interested in going to the beach and getting hammered than going to a gun show. In that case, do you have another hobby that might help you get to know these people more intimately? At this point, do you even give a shit anymore to try and get to know them better? You can totally make this all work and keep an emotional distance from them.
Edit:
Just to be clear, I think you made your point; you'd like to keep them around, but dont have the patience to deal with their weird baggage.
My initial suggestion was to find a more specific hobby to find more compatable friends that you can find more genuine ways to bond with, or at least know what youre getting yourself into in advance. It could be with a more specific expression of a love of guns like hunting, or something else entirely like crochet.
My second suggestion is to just make it work better with your old friends. Half my best friends are married too, one has a kid coming, but I dont feel awkward about hanging out with them. Im pretty sure none of the bullshit you have with them are with the friends you're with now.
But if you are going to stick with it, and you want to make the experience a bit more bearable, I'd just be empathetic, but clear that you arent comfortable with their bullshit. A real heart to heart with your bro means you're going to have feelings out there in the open, and let's be real, a lot of millenials have trouble exploring their emotions, especially if they choose to ignore them and bottle them up subconsciously.
If it were me, I'd be a lot more patient, but you have every right to emphatically tell them to cut the shit too.
