Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[Yaks]

So this popped up on Buzzfeed:
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Which links to her twitter and instagram:
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Which led me to some kind of beef with a witch convention. She says that having to pay to attend is prohibitive, but the convention's website says you can volunteer for free admission, and that speakers actually pay a lower cost:
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I think the High Priestex is just mad she has to pay to shill her new book:
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Which, bringing it back around, is probably why a 40-year-old woman is bitching about birth control on Buzzfeed.

Spoiler

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I know it's a link, but the highlight of the arthritis bit made me chuckle with the surrounding sentence.

Also advertising that you're a necromancer and mortician in the rural south is a fast way to lose your job.

 

[LoverofPi]

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I know it's a link, but the highlight of the arthritis bit made me chuckle with the surrounding sentence.

Also advertising that you're a necromancer and mortician in the rural south is a fast way to lose your job.

Optimistic of you to assume she actually has a job. Being an internet Necromancer is her "job"

 

[Yaks]

Optimistic of you to assume she actually has a job. Being an internet Necromancer is her "job"

Oh true, she'd have to be hired first.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

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I know it's a link, but the highlight of the arthritis bit made me chuckle with the surrounding sentence.

Also advertising that you're a necromancer and mortician in the rural south is a fast way to lose your job.

If she really is a necromancer from North Carolina she isn't doing a very good job since Dale is still dead.

 

[Druveer]

She's doing nasty shit to grandmas corpse ain't she?

 

[Agarathium1066]

She's doing nasty shit to grandmas corpse ain't she?

More likely she buys 'grave dirt' which is actually just dirt shoveled from outside into small baggies then sold for a high price. She then sprinkles it on things and thinks that's some high tier necromancy.

Wouldn't the latin name 'Mortella' be more fitting than Mortellus anyway?

 

[LoverofPi]

If she really is a necromancer from North Carolina she isn't doing a very good job since Dale is still dead.

A: She probably means Necromancer in the "I speak to the dead" sense the word means based on its latin
B: NASCAR owns his soul but good.

More likely she buys 'grave dirt' which is actually just dirt shoveled from outside into small baggies then sold for a high price. She then sprinkles it on things and thinks that's some high tier necromancy.

Wouldn't the latin name 'Mortella' be more fitting than Mortellus anyway?

I bet she thinks Mortellus sounds more mystical

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

A: She probably means Necromancer in the "I speak to the dead" sense the word means based on its latin
B: NASCAR owns his soul but good.

He died an owner-driver though.

 

[Antarctica_Bound]

Optimistic of you to assume she actually has a job. Being an internet Necromancer is her "job"

Don't doubt her necromancy powers, the voices in her head are real.

 

[Flexo]

I bet she thinks Mortellus sounds more mystical

Fun trivia fact: The original name for the Dr. Strange knock-off character Jack Kirby made for Empire International Pictures was "Mister Mortalis." When it got passed to Full Moon and they started developing the script, the film then became "Doctor Mordrid." (linked just in case you wanted to see Jeffery Combs play Dr. Strange)

 

[9Style]

 

[Druveer]

Anybody wanna take bets that the above ladies are the same sort of people who sneer at, "thoughts and prayers".

 

[GranDuke]

And probably atheist prayers are ok.

 

[The Great Milenko]

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I thought REAL witches spell it as "Magick"? This bitch is a fraud.

Roll 1d20 against Wisdom, cunt.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

Today, in "Shit That Never Happened"

I hope her doctor sues her.

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Don't worry, sweetie, you'll be fine.

That's not even how your own religion says this shit works, but okay, dumbass.

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These bitches are so terrible at spellwork, if I believed in magick I'd just hire them to pray for my enemies.

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My knowledge of sigils is rusty, but I'm pretty sure none of these mean anything. Except that Z-shaped one on her right; I think that's a tangent wave from pre-cal.

 

[Veneraris]

When "paganism" shifted from actual pre-Christian religions and customs to "fuck you dad and fuck you Jesus" American types.

Fine by me, I don't need hellenism disrespected by modern retards

 

[9Style]

 

[RazorBackBacon]

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Seriously, I'm starting to worry these bitches might have legit brain damage. Do they not remember all the Fuck Drumpf spells they cast back in 2016? None of those worked, either.

 

[Ophelia]

Don’t worry, guys. I’ve set my magic rocks up on the windowsill, sprinkled them with glitter and dirt, and chanted Enya songs at them in order to protect the supreme court.

 

[Flexo]

Seriously, I'm starting to worry these bitches might have legit brain damage. Do they not remember all the Fuck Drumpf spells they cast back in 2016? None of those worked, either.

Aren't like 3 of those justices Catholic?

Better remind the witches their fates the last time they went up against the Church.