Biggest bullshit in a video game

Un Platano said:
If you put an original Sonic CD disk in a CD player, there's some real weird shit on there. Most of it is just audio garbage because it's a game and not music, but when you do get to the music parts, there's these unused tracks playing voices in reverse. And then of course there's the infamous Infinite Fun screen. It's no surprise that Sonic CD has inspired a lot of shitty creepypastas because that game is cursed.
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Not biggest but certainly a local extremum. Return of the Obra Dinn.

A ghost ship arrives in England, you have to figure out what happened to the crew and passengers. Game plays an audio clip which leads to a still 3d scene showing someone's moment of death, you have to match the face with the name and cause of death, including the weapon and the killer if any.

It is often the case that a scene of someone's death shows and provides clues for other events happening nearby. For example, a woman has her head bashed in and calls a man by his name; a man is ripped in half by the kraken and three people are falling out of a boat into the ocean in the background. Two scenes feature the death of someone/thing you don't care about (a stowaway and a cow) to show the player what's happening nearby, and in the final twist the ship's doctor deliberately kills his pet monkey to record a scene for the player character.

Now the bullshit.

The scene:
  • At the bottom of a ladder, a seaman, with his leg below the knee missing, is being treated by a doctor. The doctor says it's not too bad and he has a chance. He dies anyway.
  • Nearby, the captain's steward is arrested and berated by the captain for his superstition: the steward believes that the mermaids they just captured should be thrown back into the ocean, because they're cursed. The berating is rather mild, like, "bro, wtf? this, after 20 years of service? i am disappoint. go sit in timeout". The steward desperately cries out "you fools!" in Swedish.
(At this point the mermaids killed a bunch of mutineers and were only defeated by a guy burning himself to death, and then proceeded to kill three sailors and a passenger in the span of two minutes while captured. The player has already seen the subsequent storm and attacks of demon crab riders and a giant kraken. It is implied (but not actually true) that the captain dispelled the curse with some sort of horrific sacrifice, and the kraken went away.)
  • Some people on the upper level run toward this ladder and there's a guy barring their way.
  • The missing leg is at the opposite end of the ship.
So my understanding is the steward said, wtf, I want no part of this satanic shit, and the captain is pissed at yet another betrayal and blow to his authority. (Maybe he'll sacrifice the guy to demons later.)

The solution: the seaman was killed by the captain's steward for no reason other than lol insanity. Why both of them are so far from the scene of the crime is not explained. For an extra helping of bullshit, the game only accepts "killed with a sword by" and "torn apart by" as causes of death. There's nothing to suggest a sword was involved (in fact among the unused options on the list is "axed"), and there is no precedent for being "torn apart" by a human (the iconic "torn apart" victim was literally ripped in half by the kraken).
 
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The Last Stand said:
I gave Ubisoft credit for their sales and single player DLC. Now I'm taking it away.

They're shutting down servers for several titles come September. Okay. And they're delisting those titles. Great. WITH their DLC, and potentially provoking access from purchased titles. Fuck off, Ubisoft.
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Some are quite recent.

Expect 50$ remaster.
 
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The Last Stand said:
I gave Ubisoft credit for their sales and single player DLC. Now I'm taking it away.

They're shutting down servers for several titles come September. Okay. And they're delisting those titles. Great. WITH their DLC, and potentially provoking access from purchased titles. Fuck off, Ubisoft.
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Aw, that's bullshit. They better not delist those games on consoles too.
 
Cod of War said:
Been replaying Gran Turismo 4 via emulator and they really do expect perfection for those license tests.

Fuck you, that was gold.
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IMO license tests related to doing an entire track lap are even worse due to them requiring perfection across entire track for 2-3 minutes at least, and redoing them isn't any better either way.

Don't forget to do national A category and spam easy Capri Rally in Special Conditions for quick money (2 short and pleasant tracks for Toyota RSC ~268k CR value).
 
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In AC Odyssey you have that Minotaur quest line that starts at like level 29, then you go through it, open the labyrinth, in my case I was at about level 31 by then, and just when you'd think you'll be entering the fucking labyrinth, the next quest jumps up by 4 levels to 35 and you either have to suck Ubisoft's cock for some booster pack bullshit, or leave the labyrinth open to go grind for an hour.
What a fucking scam lol
 
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Bunny Tracks said:
The worst is that this wasn't the case in first game. NPCs usually didn't start shit unless you did, or had extremely low honor. They were either indifferent, or outright friendly if that wasn't the case.

I've mentioned this several times before, but it kills me that all this was done mostly so the plot of RDR1 still happens and makes sense, and it doesn't even do that, because all the added details, and new characters ended up causing a fuckton inconsistencies, and plotholes.

On that note, I hate how Rockstar can program the horses to have ball physics, but not put any Trapper locations in the Grizzlies where all the big game is so you have to trek back down the entire mountain every time you make a decent kill. Same thing for them not putting one anywhere in New Austin.
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I'm playing Bully right now, and so much as slightly bumping into someone touches off a Rodney King riot.
 
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CAPTAIN MATI said:
In AC Odyssey you have that Minotaur quest line that starts at like level 29, then you go through it, open the labyrinth, in my case I was at about level 31 by then, and just when you'd think you'll be entering the fucking labyrinth, the next quest jumps up by 4 levels to 35 and you either have to suck Ubisoft's cock for some booster pack bullshit, or leave the labyrinth open to go grind for an hour.
What a fucking scam lol
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Kassandra is hot, and that is where my interest in AssCreed begins and ends.
 
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Cod of War said:
Been replaying Gran Turismo 4 via emulator and they really do expect perfection for those license tests.

Fuck you, that was gold.

View attachment 3485740
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Haunted Dishwasher said:
IMO license tests related to doing an entire track lap are even worse due to them requiring perfection across entire track for 2-3 minutes at least, and redoing them isn't any better either way.

Don't forget to do national A category and spam easy Capri Rally in Special Conditions for quick money (2 short and pleasant tracks for Toyota RSC ~268k CR value).
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The Nurburgring license tests still live rent free in my head.

Knowing that one mistake 8 minutes into a 10 minute run can cause you to get a bronze or even fail is infuriating, they are single handedly the reason why I never bothered to go for gold on any of the tests bar the very quick ones like the braking, accelerating, and cone dodging tests.
 
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Meat Target said:
I hate it in Rockstar games when random passersby will go out of their way to pick a fight with you for no reason.

Then the authorities go after *you*.
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They have somehow regressed over the years. In Vice City when cops are chasing someone else and you run up and bonk them on the head you don't get a wanted rating, you are just a good boy assisting with an arrest.

Guess rockstar spend a bit too much time designing sweaty horse balls these days at the expense of other game mechanics.
 
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Meat Target said:
Kassandra is hot, and that is where my interest in AssCreed begins and ends.
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Haven't played the game but you mean this one?
kassandra-assassins-creed.gif
It looks like she is lounging around on the edge of a really tall structure, that lady must have some serious huevos.
 
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