Prison Letters 7/4/2022- New Helena and Eels and the Eggman Collab Letter

[Got Milk!]

Since this thread has become a "who would kiss Null thread?" I'll take this opportunity to remind everyone that if you aren't a Feeder, you aren't for Dear Leader.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Chris is so boring now. I want the next episode.

Epilogue 3,247: Christine Does Dallas.

 

[Ophelia]

Watch him get taken down by the Swiss Guard. What would he say?

“Non chiamare nessuno!”

Brought to you by google translate

 

[Amerikaner Teddybär]

“Non chiamare nessuno!”

Brought to you by google translate

Bold to think Chris would speak Italian. He'd probably say something like "¡No llames a nadie!"

Spoiler

Of course I used Google Translate, I'm fucking lazy

 

[A Flying Nun]

Fuck Bella, marry Null, kill Judas.

Yo how you gonna do Judas wrong like that?

He's got a great damage modifier and the Book of Belial is a great starting item. Also that dude killed it in Jesus Christ Superstar.

 

[Cockadoodle85]

What’s on earth is Chris writing that these people want to redact so much of it?

“After the merge, Jesus’s came to me and told me how to make yellow cake uranium, its easy, all you need is ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ and add some Fanta, followed by ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ and it’s done!

Tell Null that I have package for him. ️ ”

They just wanna be seem important by acting like the king tards incoherent rambling is some top secret shit

 

[Pointless Sperg]

So going by this, if Chris had gone to the convention, something Bad might happen to Barb. I'm beginning to think Chris subconsciously fucked her so that he would intentionally get in trouble and be thrown in the slammer.

Chris is retconning to justify his actions. He didn't have some fucking elaborate master plan to get arrested to get out of going to the convention. He fucked Barb because he could. All this "saved her from dying in an accident" shit is stuff he came up with later.

Rei Ryghts

Hey, I had to google it because I can't keep track of all the fucking Neptunia shit that Chris has integrated into his lore.

Although it's interesting that only Atari and Microsoft figure in to western consoles in Neptunia.

I wonder if he’ll get one more media pop upon release. Depending on how slow a news week it is, I could see right wing media running with this again. “Dangerous, elderly mother raping tranny is walking the streets of Biden’s America again folks..”

It's possible, it depends on how heavily partisan they can make it. That's all that's required to be in the news these days. We're on the brink of fucking WW3 and the news is dominated by people throwing political shit at each other.

I think Marvin said something once about how there are kids alive today because of Sonichu, implying some of the OG Trolls hooked up beyond Liquid and Kacy, it's odd to think about isn't it there are kids out there now because one coupled fucked in 1981 who really shouldn't have.

I didn't know Marvin and Kim had a kid.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

Chris is retconning to justify his actions. He didn't have some fucking elaborate master plan to get arrested to get out of going to the convention. He fucked Barb because he could. All this "saved her from dying in an accident" shit is stuff he came up with later.

Agree. Chris is low-functioning tard that couldn't scheme his way out of a wet paper bag, and like most sexual predators, and Chris is a predator, he has to warp reality into something where he's the hero despite doing despicable things that only benefited his own self interests.

 

[Smleman303]

So if I get this right from the current score, barb ain't at 14 BC with Chris confirming,barb doesn't want to see him but somehow he goes back to 14bc? Either Chris misunderstood that or we are getting the American version of drachenlord's deal? Chris is truly unoriginal.

 

[Aldi Nord]

They're just trying to piss us off by having this power of authority over an actual motherfucking retard.

Love how in this case 'motherfucking retard' is a genuine description, not an insult.

 

[The Dude]

Chris is such an ungrateful piece of shit. Null is the only person who has ever tried to actually help Chris have any hope of resembling a halfway functional person, and all Chris has done is shit all over him. Fuck Chris. He deserves whatever horrible shit happens to him in life.

 

[FalkMariaSchlegel]

Null didn't commit any sind goddamit! If Anything, he was way to nice to Chris for a far to long time.

 

[billywitchdoctor.com]

So, if Helena is to be believed, a legal decision was reached around June 9th involving Chris and Barbara. I guess his lawyer could have worked something out with the court involving his mental handicap and online bullying so Chris can get out of it with time served. According to her and Chris Barb also was a fault, which is dubious at best. His lawyer would have a hard time proving that she could have done anything due to her age and brain fog with a side of dementia. Her and Chris always had an odd relationship at best. I can see Chris getting by with a slap on the wrist honestly. Isn't that the story of his life? He still refuses to learn and grow, Now he's speaking like Charles fucking Manson? He knew he fucked up so to escape the consequences he retreats into his delusions. Now he's literally God himself and sonichu is the godbody. Chris is the reborn messiah and has memories from 2000 years ago. Honestly this will probably help him legally because they'll all see him as crazy as hell and not responsible. Perhaps this was his plan, although I'm more than certainly giving him too much credit. Into this dark discussion I would like to interject some classic Chris to make everyone smile. Remember this is the guy who made an account pretending to be a troll and was so good he worked his way into the inner circle. When he learned of a supposed plan to dig up his beloved pet dogs grave hw quickly jumped online as his alias to warn the troll to stay away. The Chandler property was haunted by the ghost of his pet and strangely enough also the spirit of his younger self. Also to testify that his pet was placed under heavy concrete slabs. He also destroyed his PS3 hoping to collect a fake bounty on it. Geez, I miss those days.

 

[Ken_Penders69]

Spoiler: Copied the images from Twitter

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Something about Chris saying Barb came onto him in an alternate timeline or whatever.

Sound more like Chris knows that he's not going to be able to see Barb after he gets outta the slammer.

Maybe? I think he might be saying he'd have accused barb of rape and let her take the fall to save his sorry ass

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

So if I get this right from the current score, barb ain't at 14 BC with Chris confirming,barb doesn't want to see him but somehow he goes back to 14bc? Either Chris misunderstood that or we are getting the American version of drachenlord's deal? Chris is truly unoriginal.

It sounds like Barb is in managed care somewhere, most likely in a placement service from the state, and maybe Harriet and Uncle Tom helped out with that. That would be the best case scenario for both helping Barb, and keeping her out of any of the other family's lives.

Since she isn't at 14 Branchland, there's no real need to prohibit Chris from going back there. He mentioned going there to "clean things", which most likely means his shit, or else clean the house out. Given Chris sperging over the smallest little hiccup, I doubt his shit was hauled off to the landfill, and the house is just being maintained until he's out. That tard placement service that is new in Virginia is probably in effect, so Chris doesn't have to worry about a place to live. Fuck, he's probably looking forward to it.

 

[Smleman303]

It sounds like Barb is in managed care somewhere, most likely in a placement service from the state, and maybe Harriet and Uncle Tom helped out with that. That would be the best case scenario for both helping Barb, and keeping her out of any of the other family's lives.

Since she isn't at 14 Branchland, there's no real need to prohibit Chris from going back there. He mentioned going there to "clean things", which most likely means his shit, or else clean the house out. Given Chris sperging over the smallest little hiccup, I doubt his shit was hauled off to the landfill, and the house is just being maintained until he's out. That tard placement service that is new in Virginia is probably in effect, so Chris doesn't have to worry about a place to live. Fuck, he's probably looking forward to it.

Honestly I can't see that lasting long term, even drachenlord who was more functional eventually lost his hovel.

 

[Optimus Prime]

It sounds like Barb is in managed care somewhere, most likely in a placement service from the state, and maybe Harriet and Uncle Tom helped out with that. That would be the best case scenario for both helping Barb, and keeping her out of any of the other family's lives.

Since she isn't at 14 Branchland, there's no real need to prohibit Chris from going back there. He mentioned going there to "clean things", which most likely means his shit, or else clean the house out. Given Chris sperging over the smallest little hiccup, I doubt his shit was hauled off to the landfill, and the house is just being maintained until he's out. That tard placement service that is new in Virginia is probably in effect, so Chris doesn't have to worry about a place to live. Fuck, he's probably looking forward to it.

He still loses in the end once the bank comes calling for 14BC.

I also expect that the placement service likely is going to have some kind of minimum standard of upkeep which Chris will, naturally, fail to achieve.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

Honestly I can't see that lasting long term, even drachenlord who was more functional eventually lost his hovel.

He still loses in the end once the bank comes calling for 14BC.

I don't think Chris cares about 14 Branchland the way people on here think he does. Remember, he basically tossed his mother to the curb after he got into jail, and everybody thought the two were inseparable, yet now, she might as well be just someone in Chris's past life.

Sure, he may have had episodes in jail about losing the house, but he's also had a year to fully come to grips with it, plus, on top of the year long hotel stay where Chris never had to lift a finger, let alone worry about money or cleaning, the state is going to get him a place to live, with Chris having to do nothing but sign his name on his plea deal.

It wouldn't surprise me if Chris dumps the majority of his toys because he's not interested in them anymore.

 

[RodgerDodger]

He still loses in the end once the bank comes calling for 14BC.

I also expect that the placement service likely is going to have some kind of minimum standard of upkeep which Chris will, naturally, fail to achieve.

If Barb is in Long Term Nursing Care more or less permanently, and is on Medicaid to pay for it. The state gets the house.

 

[Undersideofcwcspillow]

I find it so very Chris(t)like that he says he is gonna miss solitaire and his prayer rug, as if those things don't exist outside jail.

It seems obvious that all of these changes from jail(less soda and sweets, offline hobbies like solitaire) are going out the window as soon as he is home.

Obviously orange soda and ramen aren't healthy but chris is probably used to small portions at scheduled times, which is arguably a bigger part of diet than the actual substance of the diet. And as soon as he is out he is going right back to mcdonalds and candy.

And of course as soon as he has video games again he isn't going to sit down and play a card game.

It's sad that the changes won't stick after a year.