Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[jitter]

Yeah, I legitimately don't understand what stroked out fever dream made him think August in the South was the time to start thinking comfort food.

August should be grilling season but I'm going to guess that he's too lazy to move his camera setup outside and readjust all the settings, it's too hot out, and beef prices.

 

[captkrisma]

Jack's rationale is that you can copy his recipes for September...but that's another hot month and not suited for comfort food.

 

[desudesu]

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Get you sponsor

Sponsor? What sponsor? Oh right, it's probably American Express courtesy of Mommywife! No company is crazy enough to sponsor this obviously stroked out fat glutton.

That said, even Keto Bear from the Keto Bakery (Power of the Almond) a while back was spooked by Jagoff and refused to respond to any queries about him when contacted by PCTLM fans.

 

[ten dollars off]

Given the way Jack treats HOPE, I'd say those beagles dodged a bullet. Besides, Jack wanted a puppy so he could use it as a prop to breathe life into his ailing channel.

I suspect this as well, and it really bothers me. I haven't kept up with all of Jack's content, but does Hope play any kind of significant role in his videos now beyond him yelling at her to stop barking? Having an intro where the dog isn't even visible, yet slapping clip art supposed to represent her on merch and such is really irritating.

 

[Skurtman]

I suspect this as well, and it really bothers me. I haven't kept up with all of Jack's content, but does Hope play any kind of significant role in his videos now beyond him yelling at her to stop barking? Having an intro where the dog isn't even visible, yet slapping clip art supposed to represent her on merch and such is really irritating.

Not really, she's not a puppy anymoer so the cuteness factor is gone. But she really doesn't like him (someone posted a video and she was not happy to see Jack). Let's HOPE she gets owners that actually care for her sometime in the future

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

I suspect this as well, and it really bothers me. I haven't kept up with all of Jack's content, but does Hope play any kind of significant role in his videos now beyond him yelling at her to stop barking? Having an intro where the dog isn't even visible, yet slapping clip art supposed to represent her on merch and such is really irritating.

No, he usually keeps Hope caged up. If he was actually smart, if he was using her for content, he could have videos of making dog treats, bringing her to dog friendly restaurants, "stretching a dollar" with her food/toys, etc.

But we all know Jack is a moron and has the attention span of a gnat, so Hope's been neglected, both on camera and off.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

Jack's rationale is that you can copy his recipes for September...but that's another hot month and not suited for comfort food.

I’m pretty sure across the US that August is the hottest 30 days. Then next is probably a tie: either September or July.

Way to go dummy.

Jagoff could easily find a way to fuck up an iron ball .

Get you chicken and dumplings. Get you chili and cornbread in the dog days of summer

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Naturally. Only Kansas City, Texas and Santa Maria-style BBQ use beef, because the Great Plains, Texas and California all raise cattle, whereas the Deep South uses pork because pigs are cheap to raise and don't need much land.

Yeah... but... BRISKET!?! I mean that's the heart of BBQ isn't it meaning if they don't have brisket or beef ribs then it's worthless as BBQ. And you know that's what he thinks. It's only HIS version of BBQ that matters meaning lots of beef. And whenever he discovers a new method of making it does he always say that he's been doing it for the longest time only he's never shown it.

It's like how he's been making pulled pork and ribs for the longest time by just dumping seasoning on it and only ONCE did he use a mustard base and said that he always uses one. Why? He saw some other guys using it and figured he needed to be a big man and use it as well.

Excuse my apprentice-level photoshop skills. I do not have a $3000+ macbook.

And they do seem to be like crack to him so the shoop is accurate to the source material.

 

[Dead Air]

My money is on Jack putting in his new church's announcement flyers that his highly famous YouTube channel is seeking local small business sponsorships.

 

[Whatthefuck]

Yeah... but... BRISKET!?! I mean that's the heart of BBQ isn't it meaning if they don't have brisket or beef ribs then it's worthless as BBQ. And you know that's what he thinks. It's only HIS version of BBQ that matters meaning lots of beef. And whenever he discovers a new method of making it does he always say that he's been doing it for the longest time only he's never shown it.

It's like how he's been making pulled pork and ribs for the longest time by just dumping seasoning on it and only ONCE did he use a mustard base and said that he always uses one. Why? He saw some other guys using it and figured he needed to be a big man and use it as well.


And they do seem to be like crack to him so the shoop is accurate to the source material.

And, why brisket? If you don't do it correctly it's fucking leather and we all know he's never done it correctly. Not once in all of his myriad smokers has he done a decent brisket. I honestly don't think that he'd know truly good brisket. Even if he did he'd slather it, and I mean cover every square inch of it in sauce. I don't think he'd even know a truly good sauce. Just take some horsemeat and slather it in sauce and Jacky is happy.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

It's incredible to me how fucking rude he is. He doesn't even try to practice what he preaches. He will spend the entire day talking down to people and then post that retarded praying Bitmoji with some bible verse about having kindness or some shit like that. It drives me up a wall...the bitmoji more than the hypocrisy


Also, was he always this rude or is this the result of ongoing soul rot that he has experienced over the years? He generally looked a lot more upbeat in the old days (he was always a douchebag though) but then again its to be expected after his stroke and now failing channel.

A lot of religious people just use it to act better than other people. They do the exact opposite of what Jesus actually said to do. They think as long as you say you love Jesus, you get to heaven, even though Jesus was pretty specific in mentioning that you gotta actually practice what you preach.

Jesus christ that looks fucking disgusting

 

[Mechanical Pencil]

Yeah, I legitimately don't understand what stroked out fever dream made him think August in the South was the time to start thinking comfort food. Trust and believe, it's the last fucking thing we're thinking about.

You know, he could have done a Southern cooking series that would both cater to his disgusting need for all the fat and present actual Southern summer food. He could have done pimento cheese, fried green tomatoes, potato salad, jello salad. Look, I'm not saying it's pretty or palatable, but is any of his shit anyway? At least it's a coherent series.

Jack's fried green tomatoes would inexplicably include cheese and he'd sub the cornmeal out for almond flour. Dixie would weep and thousands of great grammaws would roll in their graves.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

Jack's fried green tomatoes would inexplicably include cheese and he'd sub the cornmeal out for almond flour. Dixie would weep and thousands of great grammaws would roll in their graves.

General Sherman wins again. Jacks doing his part for the Union.

 

[Whatthefuck]

Jesus was pretty specific in mentioning that you gotta actually practice what you preach.

Indeed he was very specific. He also made it clear, VERY clear to the point of dying on the cross for it that politics shouldn't be involved in religion, neither should money unless it's going to the poor (socialist fuck that He was). He also said very clearly that it isn't necessary to pray in public and that an overt dramatic show of prayer should be shunned, but Jack didn't listen to any of that in the 97 or whatever amount of times he ostensibly read the Bible. He prefers, or rather the Murderchurch and whatever other Evangelical twaddle he and Tammy espouse, worship Paul. Paul, who was not a contemporary of Jesus and was actually someone Jesus probably would have chastised much in the way he did Peter a few times. Paul lived at a time where they were begging for shekels to further their foundling ministry. This is the root of prosperity doctrine. It has fuck all to do with Christ. I wouldn't expect a fucking ignorant hypocrite like Jack to know that, though.

 

[Jack of the Lantern]

A little Jackbook roundup:

Jack, who never reads his thread, amended his #JusticeforJillBiden post to remove all reference to Jill and tacos.



I do not know what this means:



Jack Scalfani: As much a meteorologist as he is a chef:

Spoiler: The Comments

The only thing Paul is good for is calling Jack out in a way he can't outright dismiss or delete:



And finally, two movie reviews hot off the strokebrain press:

Mr. Malcom's List, which Jack artfully describes as a period piece similar to "Briggerton" which he thinks is set in "Renaissance time." Movie was gud. Casting was bad. All bad. So wrong for the time period. C+

Translation: the woke libruls put black people in my Briggerton

The Black Phone:

Gud. Unique story. Exactly what you expected. Saw is like Saw. Halloween is like Halloween. Unique. Tammy screamed, Jack shames her for it while smiling ear to ear. A-

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

A little Jackbook roundup:

Jack, who never reads his thread, amended his #JusticeforJillBiden post to remove any and all reference to Jill or tacos.

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I do not know what this means:

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Jack Scalfani: As much a meteorologist as he is a chef:

View attachment 3494438

Spoiler: The Comments

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The only thing Paul is good for is calling Jack out in a way he can't outright dismiss or delete:

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This mushbrained fatass retard didn't even read the god damn article he cited. Right below the part that he clipped it literally says "It's not quite that simple" and goes on to explain why mushbrain's "viral take" is still not correct.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

And, why brisket? If you don't do it correctly it's fucking leather and we all know he's never done it correctly. Not once in all of his myriad smokers has he done a decent brisket. I honestly don't think that he'd know truly good brisket. Even if he did he'd slather it, and I mean cover every square inch of it in sauce. I don't think he'd even know a truly good sauce. Just take some horsemeat and slather it in sauce and Jacky is happy.

It's because he's an idiot. For some reason brisket is the big thing on his menu when he wants to do BBQ. If they're out he gets angy. Any single time there's a new burger or sandwich that comes out and it's listed as "BBQ Brisket" he's all over it. And with the price of beef today it's ridiculous to think it's worth something when pork, or chicken, is much cheaper and has the same amount of protein.

A lot of religious people just use it to act better than other people. They do the exact opposite of what Jesus actually said to do. They think as long as you say you love Jesus, you get to heaven, even though Jesus was pretty specific in mentioning that you gotta actually practice what you preach.

There's also something I've noticed, especially from Southern Baptists and Evangelicals, is that in their eyes "Christian" only means what they themselves believe. So unless you too are of the same church as they are, you might as well be an atheist because you're not a real Christian.

That's partly what I see in Jagoff. He's all for acting "Christian" when it suits him and otherwise he's a complete ass to everybody because he never really understood the message Jesus was speaking which boils down to, "be excellent to each other".

This mushbrained fatass retard didn't even read the god damn article he cited. Right below the part that he clipped it literally says "It's not quite that simple" and goes on to explain why mushbrain's "viral take" is still not correct.

View attachment 3494501

In Jagoff's world it is that simple. If you were to show him the other part he'd then argue with you because it says right above there that 40% WILL see rainfall.

It's like Darwin's quote on the eye. A lot of fundies like to quote him saying how improbable it is that it developed without some kind of guidance. Then they conveniently leave out the other part where he then says that this is exactly what happened that by gradual steps it took place even if it seems improbable. That's Mushbrain. Takes the first thing he finds that he thinks supports his point and then ignores the rest.

 

[Kosher Salt]

Yeah, because who heard of "a viral take on the internet" ever being wrong.

 

[Joe Mayo]

Mr. Malcom's List, which Jack artfully describes as a period piece similar to "Briggerton" which he thinks is "Renaissance time." Movie was gud. Casting was bad. All bad. So wrong for the time period. C+

Translation: the woke libruls put black people in my Briggerton

View attachment 3494504

The Black Phone:

Gud. Unique story. Exactly what you expected. Saw is like Saw. Halloween is like Halloween. Unique. Tammy screamed, Jack shames her for it while smiling ear to ear. A-

View attachment 3494509

I hope he keeps doing these. Not because they're good, but because they reveal how intellectually lazy and vapid Jack truly is.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

I'm not too familiar with the youtube business model so I was hoping someone could clear this up for me: Does everyone on youtube with a decent amount of subs just start a merch store even though they don't expect many sales? I know the big youtubers probably rake in like millions but low to intermediate-level youtubers... is it just like extra cash for them ? I guess the reason I'm asking is this because I don't know why Jagoff has a merch store. Like there is no way he sold anything this year...maybe a relative or some same church-goer bought something but I just don't see any market for the shit he is putting up and I assume you have to invest some money into even having merch designed.

Maybe I'm thinking too much into this and the simple real explanation is that strokebrain works in mysterious and disastrous ways.