The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[NotFatChild]

If Thorney really does put out an NFT drop purely for the sake of aggravating the tranchers, I will take back maybe one and a half of the mean things I have said about him.

Additional: Shitmouth appears to be tweeting again under an old account that he used to use for posting porn fic and simping for camwhores and so forth. His disposition remains as sunny as ever.

View attachment 3496427
Tweet | Archive

lmao if colorado gets around to expanding their un-constitutional redflag laws so that non-family members can abuse them too the troons are immediately going to have their firearms seized after half their rural county and the internet reports them.

tranny waco SOON, friends.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

lmao if colorado gets around to expanding their un-constitutional redflag laws so that non-family members can abuse them too the troons are immediately going to have their firearms seized after half their rural county and the internet reports them.

tranny waco SOON, friends.

They could finally get some much-needed live fire practice.

 

[Oxyjen]

tranny waco SOON, friends.

Tranny theyco

 

[SuperConglomerateWhale]

The time they spend running drills is hilarious. They're completely out in the open and have no idea which direction someone's going to come at them. Should have spent that time building choke points and cover instead.

Not like anyone's coming for dead llamas and transformers, but still.

clears throat

Ball-Stabbing Emmanuel McCoy, the Angelenidez County Skullfucker rode into the town of Deepthroat Gulch hoping to sell an Alpaca she caught. On her way into the saloon she tracked clitty litter over the favored smoking spot of Nine and Three Quarters-Jesus Penny Smith, the Commanche-Trooning dandy of Dryball Basin, prompting the latter to challenge McCoy to a duel at three nanoseconds past dawn on the second Tuesday of the week, as was local custom.
The two clit slingers met at the agreed upon hour in the famous Clit Wither Alley. McCoy, who lost both of her arms serving as the Gimp from Pulp Fiction in the eleventh Byuu DDOS rebellionvasion of 1888 had to shoot her Peacemaker by attaching it to her inverted penis which was infected with Monkeypox.
McCoy was shot in the toe and died of post-operation depression in the next minute. The Victorious Smith would go on to enter Post-Merge Christory by single handedly raping the entire population of Animal Control the following year.

 

[stupid frog]

Shat this out in like an hour. Enjoy

View attachment 3500523

I predict @Null might show this on air.

 

[Drama Fan]

When I was looking through Penny's TikTok, this video stood out to me. Really shows what a blasted hellscape the Tranch has become.
View attachment 3486247
They don't seem to eat their alpacas, and they quit trying to sell alpaca fiber awhile ago... so their herd of ~200 alpacas is just a money-pit.
Penny & Josie supposedly spend half the day doing construction work to pay the bills, which leaves Kevin (lol) and the psycho Jen to tend to the animals now that everyone else has left. I'll be surprised if even 50 alpacas are still alive at this point.

Remember kids, sustainability is when your property looks like Fallout New Vegas

 

[Alpaca Autopsy Expert]

I know it gets said often, but one really does get the impression that KevKev is a lead character in his own version of “Shaun of the Dead”, stumbling around oblivious to the horrors unfolding daily on the Tranch. He won’t be aware anything’s amiss until the last final hour, when he either starves to death or there’s a rain of bullets falling on his head. (“Gosh, mistress says there’s no food in the cupboard. Would anyone like to tip me on PayPal/GFM/etc. for everything I do?”) . Since there’s no chance he can ever elevate himself to a hero in this movie, it may as well be called “(Inverted) Dong of the Dead”.

 

[notafederalagent]

No mass shooter vibes here, no sir.


https://beach.city/@Norintha/108657637478186192 (archive.ph)

https://beach.city/@Norintha/108658905109860535 (archive.ph)

 

[MissAnthropist]

Certainly off-tranch. We might speculate he’s not *too* far away since he’s mentioned “games night” in a way that suggests he attends those. Plus the whole dog-transporting incident. Maybe Denver.

Agreed. Which begs the question of why? He is one of the owners of the Tranch. Why would he move out but stay close? So baffling. If he's staying close because the Tranch crew are his only real connections in the world, then I feel even worse for that sped mofo.

 

[Temperance]

More patreon shilling because of "record high feed and gas prices". Uh oh.


They really are down to <50 alpacas from their original ~200.
The boy group:

The girl group:

The babies:


Josie going on about muh fascism & climate collapse:

To be fair, the Tranch is basically an alpaca death camp and has also turned into a desert after just a few years, so maybe Josie's confused and thinks this is happening everywhere...

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

Remember kids, sustainability is when your property looks like Fallout New Vegas

Please, at least New Vegas has the Sharecroppers and the Brahmin Barons. All the tranchers have are mass graves.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Josie going on about muh fascism & climate collapse:
View attachment 3504879
To be fair, the Tranch is basically an alpaca death camp and has also turned into a desert after just a few years, so maybe Josie's confused and thinks this is happening everywhere...

What's he doing to stop fascism and the 6th mass extinction event? The war's been here and he's hiding out on a cult compound rather than fighting it and I'm supposed to listen to him?

 

[Miss Misery]

https://beach.city/@Norintha/108658905109860535 (archive.ph)

Nigger, get therapy and shut the fuck up already.

 

[Sourceress]

They really are down to <50 alpacas from their original ~200.
The boy group:
View attachment 3504880View attachment 3504874
The girl group:
View attachment 3504876View attachment 3504877
The babies:
View attachment 3504873View attachment 3504875

For the record, I count ~43 alpaca total between all three pictures. So they're very literally hovering around/just under 50 alpaca. Which means they've killed over 150 animals.

Jesus.

 

[stupid frog]

i think they eat the baby alpaca too

 

[rotpocket]

i think they eat the baby alpaca too

so I suppose burrito night will soon be back on the menu

Although, more seriously, now that I think about it they usually don't have meat in their grocery hauls if my memory's serving me correct

 

[Ghostse]

For the record, I count ~43 alpaca total between all three pictures. So they're very literally hovering around/just under 50 alpaca. Which means they've killed over 150 animals.

Jesus.

Excuse me? I believe what you mean is that they have contributed to BIPOC equity and halting the fascist spread of climate change and reversing the 6th anthocentric mass extinction by feeding over 150 alpaca to wolves at the sanctuary.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

Excuse me? I believe what you mean is that they have contributed to BIPOC equity and halting the fascist spread of climate change and reversing the 6th anthocentric mass extinction by feeding over 150 alpaca to wolves at the sanctuary.

Also being recycling conscious by eating literal shit, I suppose. Thoughtful.

 

[Konstantin Romanov]

For the record, I count ~43 alpaca total between all three pictures. So they're very literally hovering around/just under 50 alpaca. Which means they've killed over 150 animals.

Jesus.

I feel obligated to play devil's advocate here in saying that there is a dark horse possibility. They may have been able to offload the majority of their herd onto actual sanctuaries (I believe there was speculation that the two large herd donations were from existing sanctuaries using them as overflow for excess animals, if that's the case they are in contact with sanctuaries that have the requisite capacity) rather than killing them all. In this hypothetical scenario they have significantly reduced their stock, developed realistic expectations of what their stock and land can do for them and diverted manpower to day jobs they can use to cover their now reasonable operating costs.

Ironically if this is the case they can't say so in public as it would be tantamount to admitting failure, so the Tranch will remain schrodinger's alpacacaust for the foreseeable future.

 

[Sourceress]

I feel obligated to play devil's advocate here in saying that there is a dark horse possibility. They may have been able to offload the majority of their herd onto actual sanctuaries (I believe there was speculation that the two large herd donations were from existing sanctuaries using them as overflow for excess animals, if that's the case they are in contact with sanctuaries that have the requisite capacity) rather than killing them all. In this hypothetical scenario they have significantly reduced their stock, developed realistic expectations of what their stock and land can do for them and diverted manpower to day jobs they can use to cover their now reasonable operating costs.

Ironically if this is the case they can't say so in public as it would be tantamount to admitting failure, so the Tranch will remain schrodinger's alpacacaust for the foreseeable future.

I feel like if they did that, they would definitely say something out loud tbh. They'd find a way to spin it so that they didn't feel like it was admitting failure - probably that they're heroes rescuing alpacas and then turning them over to rescues to find new loving homes or some shit and acting like that was the plan all along, something like that. The total radio silence - and in fact their continuing to claim to have 200+ alpacas - despite it being incredibly obvious that they're missing over 150 animals is pretty telling.

I also feel like this probably has something to do with why all of the field serfs have left the tranch. Would they all book it over "creative differences" or whatever if it was just them giving animals away? But they'd have a lot of room for legitimate grievance if the tranch is straight up letting dozens and dozens of animals die and then making the field serfs help clean it up and cover it up.

I could be wrong, but that's the vibe I got, anyway.