Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

Gretch deleted all the posts about the relationship, citing the fact that there were a few people on Twitter who thought Nicole's "acres of skin" comment was gross and extra.

View attachment 3505855
View attachment 3505856
View attachment 3505857

The mockery and disgust:
View attachment 3505859
View attachment 3505862
View attachment 3505865

Dhaaruni is right, let her speak! Like literally nothing that has been said about this, including on this thread, comes close to what Gretch spews out on a regular basis. And yet.

Here are the deleted tweets in full (from r/blogsnark ... which I guess came from Dhaaruni's phone! Way to go, Dhaaruni!):

View attachment 3505871
View attachment 3505873
View attachment 3505877
Gretchen continuing to mull over the "revulsion" he received from thin women who are just soooooooooo jealous that he has a gf who loves his lard ass. (See @Trianon's post that I quoted above for the (likely) tweets that got under Gretchen's skin.)
gretchenrevulsion.PNGgretchenrevulsion2.PNG
 
Do you think that Steve just doesn't take this seriously at all? That he's like, ok Nicole, enjoy your weird pretend relationship hobby, I'm busy.
Gretch Kevetch is also probably loving all this narcissistic supply.
 
Do you think that Steve just doesn't take this seriously at all? That he's like, ok Nicole, enjoy your weird pretend relationship hobby, I'm busy.
Gretch Kevetch is also probably loving all this narcissistic supply.
Perhaps Steve is good with it because if the relationship is now open it means he's free too. Or he could be playing a long game. Utah's pretty conservative, so if there's a divorce in the offing, Nicole openly committing adultery with that freak might be helpful in terms of custody, alimony, etc.
 
Perhaps Steve is good with it because if the relationship is now open it means he's free too. Or he could be playing a long game. Utah's pretty conservative, so if there's a divorce in the offing, Nicole openly committing adultery with that freak might be helpful in terms of custody, alimony, etc.
My man Skier Steve with the 4D chess.
Also shoutouts to the future therapists of the Cliffe kids.
 
Ruminating on negative things strangers have said about him is clearly Micah's comfort zone. He's a deeply bitter, angry person and he'd much rather people say nasty things than have universal "YAAAS KWEENS" responses. He intentionally name searched himself and Nicole looking for this, wanting an excuse to pick at wounds.

The revulsion is real. He's in his 30s(!) and one bad day away from needing a Rascal to get around and spends his days laying in bed, watching Netflix, and rage tweeting. Even a rich girlfriend sending tacky rose lamps isn't enviable when said girlfriend sounds like a slightly more sophisticated Lennie, ready to smother to death whatever shiny thing has captured her attention.
 
Nope. But it’s not quite the same scenario anyway. The protagonist isn’t wired into the helicopter, and is both still capable and must occasionally leave it to… well, do anything besides wage war. While I disagree with the author’s view of gender I think it’s at least very solidly written and thoughtful. Personally, I suspect a lot of the backlash comes from people taking offence at the idea that “gender identity” is something tangible that can be rewritten with advanced neuroscience. Trans-medicalism not being the en-vogue flavour of bullshit right now.
Having read the story, it had some interesting points, but I couldn't help but find all the AGP tells in it (from vague recollection: the protagonist talks about how she wasn't sure if she wanted to be the hot woman she sees walk in, or fuck them. She talks about women making their own 3d printed stripper boots and "sterile printed IUDs" like that's the first futuristic thing you would think of.) The witchhunt against the author was ridiculous, but I have to admit I was soured on it because I can't read anything written by a "trans lesbian" without looking for weird fetish shit. It's always in there.
 
Gretchen continuing to mull over the "revulsion" he received from thin women who are just soooooooooo jealous that he has a gf who loves his lard ass. (See @Trianon's post that I quoted above for the (likely) tweets that got under Gretchen's skin.)
View attachment 3511322View attachment 3511321
I mean there’s a difference between fat and acres. He’s not acres. He’s fat. He can be beloved for being a fat penis owner, sure okay. But he’s not acres so I don’t get how that’s a compliment. That would be like calling a thin person a toothpick or a thread. I love my toothpick and his twig arms and his pencil dick. Oh gee thanks. You could just say you like my slenderness.


Acres isn’t fat it’s a land measurement!


So maybe some of the online haters are fat people who just wanna be fat and loved and not have their thin lovers compare their fairly average fatness to say corn fields and the back forty. And maybe they find it insulting when thin people say crap like that! I love your voluminous ass that’s as big as Alaska! Its obviously not a compliment. I mean thick butts are in so a big butt is mostly a good thing and that would still not be a compliment cause it’s land comparison and a stupid exaggeration.

You can celebrate fatness and love someone for it without exaggerating it. Sorry not buying this “the online fat haters can’t imagine being loved for who they are only in spite of it.” That’s wrong. Lots of fat people are loved for who they are and found attractive and have great love lives.
 
Last edited:
Mallory's most successful writing has been short, light-hearted pastiches or comedic rewrites of classic authors. Weird Al does that and has well-received original work.

You hate in others what you hate in yourself.
No, no, look at Weird Al's pathetic finger painting "comedy" on Twitter:
1658373711105.png

Nobody would subscribe to a Substack to get this low brow unsophisticated material.
 
Having read the story, it had some interesting points, but I couldn't help but find all the AGP tells in it (from vague recollection: the protagonist talks about how she wasn't sure if she wanted to be the hot woman she sees walk in, or fuck them. She talks about women making their own 3d printed stripper boots and "sterile printed IUDs" like that's the first futuristic thing you would think of.)

I will admit I hadn’t reread it since my relatively recent peak trans arc. Fun fact, the author apparently gave up on transitioning from the fallout. At the time I thought this was incredibly sad. Now I honestly think it’s a proper silver lining.
 
Gretchen continuing to mull over the "revulsion" he received from thin women who are just soooooooooo jealous that he has a gf who loves his lard ass. (See @Trianon's post that I quoted above for the (likely) tweets that got under Gretchen's skin.)
View attachment 3511322View attachment 3511321
It's also like ... not about fatness! Gretch assumes that the problem the original tweeter had was comments about weight and not the effusive, public-facing descriptions of someone's nude body. It's weird! Nicole is weird! I genuinely think they would have gotten the same comments if Gretch was like, "I love her knobby knees that feel like I'm holding the top of a wobbly cane." It sounds truly insane, like Tom Cruise jumping up on a couch insane.

Do you think that Steve just doesn't take this seriously at all? That he's like, ok Nicole, enjoy your weird pretend relationship hobby, I'm busy.
Gretch Kevetch is also probably loving all this narcissistic supply.
I don't know if it's just me projecting on his utter lack of internet presence and utter lack of agency in the stories Nicole tells about him, but I believe this 100%. He absolutely cannot be arsed. Nicole's Twitter antics are trying to stir up a response that Steve is too chill to give. Not that he doesn't care, he just cannot follow her on her drama spirals to the same heights that her Twitter following can. But she quit Twitter, and now I guess she's dating the Manhunt author, Twitter in living form.
 
Gretchen continuing to mull over the "revulsion" he received from thin women who are just soooooooooo jealous that he has a gf who loves his lard ass. (See @Trianon's post that I quoted above for the (likely) tweets that got under Gretchen's skin.)
View attachment 3511322View attachment 3511321

It was one of the tenderest and most living [sic] things a thin person has ever said about me

Not 'anyone has ever said about me'. Things 'a thin person has ever said about me'.

Wow-ee, he is going to murder her, isn't he? He's going to be found in puddles of her blood wearing her skin muttering about how now he's a real thin white woman writer.
 
My man Skier Steve with the 4D chess.
Also shoutouts to the future therapists of the Cliffe kids.
I have some hope for the children; if things get too wild, billionaire Steve can easily win full custody and whisk them away to Switzerland to be raised by a trophy wife, nanny, and french boarding school, the way children SHOULD be cared for.

EDIT: @Trianon , Steve is so rich you can't even google him. He never has to be in the press for one second, so if keeping his baby-incubator means letting her run around with Jerry Brudos 2.0, he can do so without ever being connected to them in the public eye.
 
Maybe try court records and property assessor pages.
Months ago, his name appeared in two articles about some sort of tech billionaire symposium, and after reading those I was able to find a 200x200-ish picture of his face, but both have since been memory-holed. I don't know if that was before or after the increased visibility his wife's ham-slapping has brought them. Those were the only three things referring to him I could find on the internet though. If I'd known he was so sane, I'd have archived.
 
Months ago, his name appeared in two articles about some sort of tech billionaire symposium, and after reading those I was able to find a 200x200-ish picture of his face, but both have since been memory-holed. I don't know if that was before or after the increased visibility his wife's ham-slapping has brought them. Those were the only three things referring to him I could find on the internet though. If I'd known he was so sane, I'd have archived.
There are photos of him on Nicole's Instagram. He's fit and not bad-looking. Even without the money, he could do better than Nicole.
 
Since this is Kiwifarms, I tried seeing if I could dox him as a 5'1" manlet or find his Fur Affinity account. No dice!
You're thinking like a poor, not a billionaire. He probably just tells his aide to find him some chicks in furry suits and then gets on the plane to the country without an extradition treaty for this orgy without ever thinking how any of this gets put together and happens by the staff.

Elon Musk (among others, tech billionaires seem particularly fascinated by this) has joked about how when he was just a lowly multi-millionaire he didn't realize how much thinking he had to do about how to go about spending his money that he doesn't anymore. (Which might explain doing things like trying to buy Twitter on a whim.)
 
Last edited:
Back