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Men, Wear a Skirt!​

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On Tuesday, Brad Pitt beat the sweltering temps currently melting most of Europe by wearing one of the few clothing items that make sense when it’s nearing 100 degrees Fahrenheit.

The 58-year-old actor turned up to the Berlin premiere of his latest movie, Bullet Train, donning a casual and cool linen ensemble that, paired with his black combat boots, placed his tattooed calves on beautiful display. When an Associated Press reporter asked Pitt what made him choose the kilt, he responded, “The breeze.” Smart.

Back in 2004, Pitt believed male skirts were about to have a moment. “Men will be wearing skirts by next summer,” Pitt said while promoting Troy.“That’s my prediction and proclamation.” In the 18 years since that proclamation, we’ve seen a smattering of men don the skirt (Harry Styles’ 2020 photoshoot with Vogue is, perhaps, the most extraordinary example), though not the onslaught of skirt-wearing Pitt seemed to think his Achilles would inspire. But since climate change isn’t going anywhere, we think it’s finally time for men to start dropping trou and zipping up a skirt.

Here’s some calf-baring inspiration.

Brad Pitt​

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While Pitt said he expected every man to have a million skirts in their closet by now, this is really only the first one we’ve seen on him since he modeled a bunch of dresses for Rolling Stone in 2006. But it’s a smart first skirt. Simple, easy, and with that knee-grazing length, he won’t have to worry about it dragging behind or hiking up. All he has to worry about is enjoying that cool breeze.

Vin Diesel​

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Vin Diesel attended the 2003 MTV Europe Music Awards in Edinburg wearing a black leather kilt. Hot. Even though he probably wasn’t!

Oscar Isaac​

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Oscar Isaac arrived at the 2022 Met Gala wearing a beautifully tailored skirt designed by none other than Thom Browne—the men’s skirt designer of all men’s skirt designers. If we could read Isaac’s mind, we bet he’d be saying, “Why have I gone this long without wearing a skirt?” It’s a great question. Wish we could’ve seen more of those legs though.

Russell Westbrook​

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NBA star Russell Westbrook may be having a hard time figuring out which team best fits him. But when it comes to putting on a fashion show, the point guard never fails to get the crowd cheering.

Lil Nas X​

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Rapper Lil Nas X was born to be in the spotlight. And even if he wasn’t, it’d be impossible for the spotlight to miss this pink, metallic gladiator skirt. We give this striking ensemble 10 “Yee Haws.”

Billy Porter​

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Dresses are a type of skirt (or are skirts a type of dress?) and no one, of any gender, wears a dress better than Billy Porter. It’s easy to look at Porter on the red carpet and think, “Why even bother?” But wearing a skirt (or a dress) is not a competition—it’s an opportunity to make your life more enjoyable.

Jared Leto​

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Here’s another man who’s never shied away from a skirt, or a dress, or a skirt/pant combo. Jared Leto said “yes” to all the clothes at the 2014 iHeartRadio Music Awards, so he definitely didn’t feel a breeze, but he still looked cool.

Gerard Butler​

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Gerard Butler paid homage to his Scottish roots while attending a charity dinner in London in 2003. What we wouldn’t pay to be that eagle.

Marc Forne​

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Influencer Marc Forne took Paris Fashion Week 2022 by storm with this white pleated skirt that’s casual enough for the café, but upscale enough for the, well, front row of a fashion show. Oui, oui!

Keiynan Lonsdale​

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Australian actor Keiynana Lonsdale hit the 2018 MTV Movie TV Awards looking like a goddamn Greek god in this gilded outfit, complete with a long, flowing white skirt. Short is always fun, but length can be just as naughty.

Kid Cudi​

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Rapper Kid Cudi has never shied away from statement pieces and I, personally, can’t stop drooling over this grunge take on the ballroom skirt. Does he need a dancing partner?
 
Brad Pitt
Vin Diesel
Jared Leto
Lil Nas X
Kid Kudi
I don't remember praising or indicating a desire to emulate any of those faggots. If you think I did, you are hallucinating.

Offer me something I want; power armor? Crusader armor? Cowboy couture? A Thomas Jefferson colonial pimp suit? Hell, I'll wear Daisy Dukes if you make them in Rhodesian Brushstroke!
 
I don't remember praising or indicating a desire to emulate any of those faggots. If you think I did, you are hallucinating.

Offer me something I want; power armor? Crusader armor? Cowboy couture? A Thomas Jefferson colonial pimp suit? Hell, I'll wear Daisy Dukes if you make them in Rhodesian Brushstroke!
Don't forget the classic bear coat.
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That's the worst one of all. Not just the skirt, either. The entire outfit is horrendous.
Ignoring the boots, it's the only outfit that belongs somewhere. Gay strip club might not be the most prestigious place to dress up, but it's existence is justified by a use case.

The others don't even make sense.

Wait, the green Billy porter one might make sense, the weird chest box would be a great place to stick things if you're shoplifting. But it stands out so much and there's no tits in there to distract people, so it doesn't really work on him. And the part that makes it make sense isn't the skirt.
 
if you want to dress for the heat, just wear wide and loose pants
or if you don't mind standing out in public, you can even wear those wide robes that the arabs are wearing, they know a thing or two about dealing with hot weather so it's probably pretty good

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I hear those are super comfortable.
Those and kimonos are the only acceptable dresses to wear for men, otherwise you look like a total sped.
 
These people need to be put to death and thrown into the same mass grave as the 18th and 19th century coomers who promoted girlboss tomboy lesbian outlaw whorery, and the 20th century avant-garde writers who tried shoving cuckery everywhere, and the faggots in the nazi party who noticed this filth but instead of stopping it, decided to push male homosexuality and transgenderism as a cope for not getting laid
 
If men should wear a skirt then journalists should wear a necktie. Specifically Stolypin's necktie. 🚬
this is not a fedpost i just wanted to be clever.
 
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