Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Ophelia]

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I know I’m late but I laughed so hard I cried!

 

[BoomerSperg1922]

Fatrick comes out against gay marriage, stunning and brave. How will his followers take this?

 

[oopsie doodle]

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Did he mean "abided by it?" Professional writer my eye.

 

[r00]

how much does he praise Wendig's horrible Star Wars books?

I dont think ive ever seen him promote the work of his peers. He gives shoutouts to sfwa pedos, but not any of their work, to my knowledge. He clearly hasnt had the time to read much over the last few years, what with all his time being swallowed up by record correcting atalkers, but even if he had 48 hours in a day, he would still be too lazy to read.
He is literally Garth "ive written more books than ive read" Marenghi.

 

[The Feline Solution]

I'd argue cokehead king is better than modern day sober king.

This, cokehead King is the only King that exists to me, i couldn't even finish most of his sober-era books and i'm a sucker for schlocky horror novels. Starting with Cell his books lost their magic, big time. I don't even get the hate for Tommyknockers, even King himself shits all over it, i found it to be highly entertaining and a good read.

Sorry for the off-topic sperging.

Edit:

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Holy shit, Big Lenny out of nowhere hahaha!

 

[Philly Phunk Machine]

I hope everyone knows who this is, but as a quick overview for those that don't:

Looks like the Rascals hired Big (Fat Fucking) Lenny, a very odd man/amateur bodybuilder known from being a feature in Jason Genova videos (a retarded guy who wanted to be a bodybuilder, basically). Anyway, Lenny is a weird as fuck guy: lives in disgusting squalor, abuses steroids/HGH/insulin and takes a drug to make his darker through melanin production. He also hates porn (and people who watch porn), but likes trannies.

He's most known for his odd physique with a giant gut (most likely from too much BB insulin abuse):

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He's also more man than Fatrick will ever be. Here's him shrugging off a taser (while decrying 'porn addicts'):

The Del Ray Misfits are such fuckin weirdos; a prime example of how underrated fitness lolcows can be. I know there's some other guy who's like a vegan lifter personality who lost it and now does hour-long schizo rants on YouTube.

 

[Plaintiff is fat]

100% of his writing is devoted to Christmas Carnage.

Wrong as always, he wrote 5 pieces fo Automanic including self-plagiarizing entire passages from one article into another because he's a fat lazy pig.

I know people rejoice at Patrick's "author" LARP being phony, but how amazing would it be for him to actually achieve success, become the next Douglas Adams, only for PatPosting to become forever ingrained as a chapter in the biography of a great American literary canon writer? Having a "Controversies" section on his Wikipedia article because of his rape tweets that nobody would even know about if he just kept his mouth shut on Norm/11

 

[John Andrews Stan]

The Del Ray Misfits are such fuckin weirdos; a prime example of how underrated fitness lolcows can be.

I wish Pat wasn’t such a fat, lazy piece of shit. Because I’d love to see him revisit his fit guy LARP. Imagine the terror he’d see around every corner of every marathon, knowing Owen and his friends have him surrounded.

But Pat has given up on his own health, accepting that he will weigh an unacceptably high number of pounds — many hundreds of them — from now until he drops dead. I’m happy with that too.

 

[RazorBackBacon]

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Fat Fuckin' Lenny off the top rope!

This, cokehead King is the only King that exists to me, i couldn't even finish most of his sober-era books and i'm a sucker for schlocky horror novels. Starting with Cell his books lost their magic, big time. I don't even get the hate for Tommyknockers, even King himself shits all over it, i found it to be highly entertaining and a good read.

Sorry for the off-topic sperging.

I think it's just trendy to hate on Tommyknockers; though admittedly, "uncovered ufo aerosolizes into the atmosphere and turns small town Maine into telepathic sociopathic idiot savants who hate humanity" is kind of an odd premise. For me, the book starts really strong, then falls off about 1/3 of the way through. Still lightyears better than anything he's written in decades. King is the example I always use when arguing that professional "creative" types need a day job; all his characters have become blatant self-inserts and his attempts to tap into youth culture come across as "How do you do, fellow kids?"

Anyway, rant over

Salem's Lot is the best King novel and it's not a coincidence that's the one where he was explicitly trying to write schlock.

 

[Torque Wheeler]

I wish Pat wasn’t such a fat, lazy piece of shit. Because I’d love to see him revisit his fit guy LARP. Imagine the terror he’d see around every corner of every marathon, knowing Owen and his friends have him surrounded.

But Pat has given up on his own health, accepting that he will weigh an unacceptably high number of pounds — many hundreds of them — from now until he drops dead. I’m happy with that too.

Remember when someone mathematically proved he cheated during a 10k or something?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Remember when someone mathematically proved he cheated during a 10k or something?

I’ve heard about this but it was way before I started following Pat. IIRC, Pat was banned from multiple races as a result.

 

[Firstname Lastname]

Did he mean "abided by it?" Professional writer my eye.

Professional 1.7 GPA writer

 

[Pat's Pointer Finger]

a little bit of history from over on r/fatpeoplehate on what would have happened if Pat never said that Norm wasn't funny

 

[AnOminous]

Salem's Lot is the best King novel and it's not a coincidence that's the one where he was explicitly trying to write schlock.

There was a miniseries of that that scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. I was afraid I'd see a vampire floating outside my window for years after that who would then hypnotize me into opening the window.

 

[Cold Root Beer]

a little bit of history from over on r/fatpeoplehate on what would have happened if Pat never said that Norm wasn't funny

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So basically, if Fatrick had kept his fat fucking gob closed (for once in his life), OnA would have probably flatlined or cannibalized each other in the drought and faded away. But Piggy's inability to keep his mouth closed revitalized and united them.

Drop this fat fucker in Ukraine and by the end of the week everyone would probably be holding hands singing kumbaya around the pyre atop which Fatrick would be tied at the stake, sputtering out some rambling "1/x" wikipedia regurgitation about burning people at the stake in between gasps of black soot and superheated air.

 

[A Very Big Fish]

Drop this fat fucker in Ukraine and by the end of the week everyone would probably be holding hands singing kumbaya around the pyre atop which Fatrick would be tied at the stake, sputtering out some rambling "1/x" wikipedia regurgitation about burning people at the stake in between gasps of black soot and superheated air.

Or just drop him from high enough and let God sort 'em out.

An object that heavy from low orbit will do some damage.

 

[JJLiautaud]

But Pat has given up on his own health, accepting that he will weigh an unacceptably high number of pounds — many hundreds of them — from now until he drops dead. I’m happy with that too.

Pats weight is best measured in 100s of solar masses how he remains a stable object is a current area of active research in astrophysics, its currently believed he simply childs the hydrogen atoms to not fuse.

 

[Meriasek]

Pats weight is best measured in 100s of solar masses how he remains a stable object is a current area of active research in astrophysics, its currently believed he simply childs the hydrogen atoms to not fuse.

He produces so much hot air inside that it's stopping him from undergoing gravitational collapse.

 

[Matt Damon]

He produces so much hot air inside that it's stopping him from undergoing gravitational collapse.

I believe the technical term is "hydroFatrick equilibrium".

 

[Meriasek]

I believe the technical term is "hydroFatrick equilibrium".

He is a degenerate, and also held in shape by electron degeneracy pressure.