Grand Jury speculation thread

[FinnSven]

Chris oughta spend any lump sum he gets on a van to get around in/live in.

Maybe he'll just embrace van life and move around the country, moving ween to ween who'll support him. Finally people will be able to experience Chris Chan without having to travel to middle of nowhere Virginia.

Chris touring the country in a seedy rape van sounds like a fitting saga for him to end on.

Bit of milk and misadventures and then he will hopefully wind up being lynched or shot when he rolls into the wrong town and talks to the wrong girl.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Correction: he knows that the price of admission is one week in jail per go-around.

The math doesn't add up. It was every 3 days for a month, which means 10 times. Since he's been in jail for a year, that means 36.5 days per go-around.

Of course if he were arrested again, he would be punished much, much more harshly, but Chris wouldn't consider that.

But either way, Chris does what Chris wants. He doesn't think ahead when there's something more stimulating occupying his attention. For anything to deter him it has to be a visceral fear, not a conscious one.

 

[Aqua Panda]

Is Chris even allowed back in the house? (Assuming he gets time served and no other charges,etc.) Last I checked, Barb isn't living there and many things were packed up/thrown out. Barb/Bob are still listed as the owners and are the ones on the promissory note. Chris doesn't have any actual claim to the place.

I'd be really curious if the mortage defaulted, or some extended family is covering it.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

Chris isn't comfortable unless he has toys.

He's been pretty comfy in jail. Not one peep about not having toys or vidya games.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

He's been pretty comfy in jail. Not one peep about not having toys or vidya games.

His published letters just read like he's adapted...bc there is no other option. Despite all the time he spends in fantasy, in real life he's a creature of immediacy: if it's there he wants it...but if it's not, he does something else. A grown-up version of a toddler that hasn't learned object permanence.

Which is, I think, consistent with (some) autism and even (some) adhd

It suggests that he'd be best in a managed situation with certain basic expectations and requirements, but otherwise freedom to daydream and draw all he wants...but having no possibility of internet access, or ability to spend or beg for money beyond a very closely managed allowance.

I don't think he'd be any less content living like that than he is when he is free to be petulant, and demanding, and to fall for and obsess over having whatever shiny object happens by.

He needs literal wrangling - he can't self-regulate and is too easily over-stimulated to make decisions needed for real life.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

A grown-up version of a toddler that hasn't learned object permanence.

Chris has object permanence. If he knows something is in the next room and he wants it, he knows that is there and he can go get it.

What Chris lacks is the ability to think about anything but what is currently holding his attention. Remember when he first went to jail, he demanded to be able to move his toys at his first court appearance. That's because it was what was dominating his thoughts.

He probably thought about some lego for the first couple of weeks again, but then he dove into the bible since that's all he had access to. After a while, the bible dominated his thoughts and he had no stimulus to think about some lego.

Chris loves some lego, but some lego LORE is not in his fantasy world. It's not that he's forgotten about it, it's just that it's not holding his attention. Sonichu and Neptunia goddesses are in his imagination, so he keeps thinking about them, but now he thinks about Jesus shit most of all since the bible is his source of external stimulation.

Take away his bible and replace it with a some lego catalog, and he'll desperately think about his some lego back at home again.

 

[Bassomatic]

Unless Chris gets the chair half this forum will be really angry come Thursday.

 

[Buster Scruggs]

Chris touring the country in a seedy rape van sounds like a fitting saga for him to end on.

Bit of milk and misadventures and then he will hopefully wind up being lynched or shot when he rolls into the wrong town and talks to the wrong girl.

IP3: feat Chris-Chan

 

[Ophelia]

Unless Chris gets the chair half this forum will be really angry come Thursday.

If you get mad over lolcows, you deserve the mati side-effects.

 

[FinnSven]

IP3: feat Chris-Chan

What does that mean?

 

[Buster Scruggs]

What does that mean?

Chris-Chan Andy Dick arch

 

[FinnSven]

Chris-Chan Andy Dick arch

Ah I see!

Chris and Andy, sex drugs and mayhem on the road.

Truly a lolcow filled update on the Beat Generation.

Before long, Sonichu and Magi-Chan will be joined by Roger the Alien in Chris’s warped hallucinations.

 

[GumballFapper]

IP3: feat Chris-Chan

Funny thing, cause Arthur Spatchcock had tried to talk Chris into streaming in 2016, and all we got was two boring Destiny gameplays where he just sits there and doesn't talk except at the end where he cyberbegs for money.
This is how lazy Chris is, he can't even livestream, it's too much work for him.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

he demanded to be able to move his toys at his first court appearance

That sperg out in court wasn't about bringing his legos and shit to jail; it was about all the shit that was unattended in the hotel he was staying at. Remember, he had his big backpack, little beater stick baseball bat (he told the cops it just "fell out" of his backpack), plus whatever toys he bought those days and magic rocks he had with him. When he was arrested the cops didn't haul that shit out with them, and the hotel probably just trashed everything he had with him.

 

[Buster Scruggs]

Ah I see!

Chris and Andy, sex drugs and mayhem on the road.

Truly a lolcow filled update on the Beat Generation.

Before long, Sonichu and Magi-Chan will be joined by Roger the Alien in Chris’s warped hallucinations.

Some of the IP2 people are so stupid he could probably start a Sonichu Goddess Cult on those RVs. Plus they're all so degrenerate that after the court hearings they'd totally take on Chris. We all know Ralph is going to try and have him on the Killstream when he's released, and I'm personally excited for that, because if Chris doesn't say everything Ralph is hoping, we have a possibility for the gunt to meltdown on Chris, which would be gold. If Chris wasn't brain dead and stuck in his corner of the internet he'd have so many opportunities from people just trying to get a W on the farms, and this will hopefully lead to some great content. We just have to be patient, something big will happen when he's out.

 

[Bassomatic]

Funny thing, cause Arthur Spatchcock had tried to talk Chris into streaming in 2016, and all we got was two boring Destiny gameplays where he just sits there and doesn't talk except at the end where he cyberbegs for money.
This is how lazy Chris is, he can't even livestream, it's too much work for him.

DSP is high energy next to Chris Chan. That's just confusing to think and type out.

Yeah what's weird I assume (like many) those "skits" Chris made with Legos would be how he spends his day. If 14blc had hidden cams I legit would not be shocked to see him eat microwave food dance by himself to spice girls have light sabre battles with a cardboard poorly drawn mike "game stop" Snyder and then go buy Micky D's.

But when he's "working " he can't lift a finger .

 

[I raped a dog 2day]

Will the government care enough to actively find and put him in a group home because we know Chris won't do it himself.

It’s less of a hassle than dealing with him running free.

I suspect he’s going to do something stupid again and get put back in jail. Like trying to break into his old home or demand someone else let him sleep at their place or some some other kind of stupid shit.

What other family does Chris have? Because that’s where I expect him to go first. Like, Cole gonna wake up the next morning with Chris on his front porch, demanding a place to live.

Anyway, prepare for Chris’s homeless saga

 

[Jack Awful]

It’s less of a hassle than dealing with him running free.

I suspect he’s going to do something stupid again and get put back in jail. Like trying to break into his old home or demand someone else let him sleep at their place or some some other kind of stupid shit.

What other family does Chris have? Because that’s where I expect him to go first. Like, Cole gonna wake up the next morning with Chris on his front porch, demanding a place to live.

Anyway, prepare for Chris’s homeless saga

I believe he was invited to his aunt and uncle's when he was first kicked out of his house for raping Barb. Then they heard what he did to get kicked out and he was banned before he arrived.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

DSP is high energy next to Chris Chan. That's just confusing to think and type out.

At least DSP has a place to stay at (even though like Chris, Phil is exceptional with money).

What other family does Chris have?

Chris has cousins, who are Harriet's children, but I doubt they'd take him in. Cole is smart that he doesn't have is address listed (unless some ween finds it and sends it to Chris.)

 

[I raped a dog 2day]

I believe he was invited to his aunt and uncle's when he was first kicked out of his house for raping Barb. Then they heard what he did to get kicked out and he was banned before he arrived.

Just because they don’t want him doesn’t mean Chris won’t try. And it doesn’t mean he won’t chimp out when they refuse.