Brianna Wu / John Flynt - DEAGLE NATION STILL LIVES

[zedkissed60]

She's such a weeb.

How old was she when it was written? It's lower than tween level fanfics.

@Francis York Morgan was close - John was a 27-year-old adult when he wrote that.

It gets worse. Shill John has been around a long time.

Spoiler

A less ambitious goal and a more probable first project is the Soccon Commercials. I would like to start a small animation company to produce the coolest, funniest, commercials on television with the characters of Soccon. Consider McDonald's current PR nightmare regarding the healthiness of their food. Then consider the effect of the following commercial would have on the viewer.

Allison Holiday's Script for her Comercial for McDonald's (Word Formet)

First off, the script is funny. True humor in a television commercial is rare. The Pets.com puppet was barely clever, and became a cultural icon. Secondly, let's look at some of the subtle messages in this ad. 1. People that believe McDonalds is unhealthy are A. Conspiracy Theorists and B. Ignoring obvious science about nutrition. The commercial also promotes McDonalds in a positive light as someone wanting to get the word out on nutrition. Producing this ad would be very effective in changing views about McDonalds.

Getting a Soccon commercial would be a thing of prestige, because it would work in this fashion. I come up with material, and we write a funny commercial about it. For instance, there is also a commercial written in which Allison endorses the Ipod because you can completely "tune out reality" and rock out all day. Then follows a scene where Allison is dancing/shopping at Wal-Mart causing mass chaos without realizing it.

 

[millais]

This day heralds the next stage in the evolution of Wu weening. Henceforth, I predict people will tweet laughable lines of dialogue from the script to Wu until they are banned by that Twitter security mod from Perverted Justice

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

McDonald's, huh? The Dobson/Wu similarities continue to grow...

 

[wheat pasta]

Good ol' John confirming what we already knew: If you have to explain the joke, it's definitely a winner.

 

[Yellow Yam Scam]

Maybe we should just start calling Bwu O(ur)P(et)T(ranny).

 

[Ruin]

I'm going to need a few drinks before I read any further.

I'm four deep and still laughing.

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

Forward it to Milo.

 

[Francis York Morgan]

In 1998 the author had a disastrous attempt at producing an animated version of his syndicated college comic strip Socially Unconscious. South Park was at the height of its popularity at the time. I was only 20 at the time, and I’ve always been very ambitious. The film didn’t work for a lot of reasons, mostly I was too young to know who you involve yourself in for a professional project like this.”

Yeah, it was "mostly" the shortcomings of your business partners. Your drug addiction, unclear vision, bad writing, poor talent, and lack of business management skills had nothing to do with it.

The one positive thing to result from the attempt were the 13 “Seinfeld in the City” that were written from 1997-2001. “I spent a lot of years writing and rewriting those 13 episodes into what I believe, given the proper resources, would be a very successful television show. Having written Socially Unconscious as a novel, I find I enjoy the depth and complexity of the media. Literary form is the form to which Socially Unconscious is best suited, and is my primary focus. I just would like anyone considering publishing this, there is an animated series ready to go, right down to the Pantone swatch colors of the characters.

Uh, if it's best suited in literary form then why are you wasting all this time trying to adapt it into other media without even publishing it in the original format?

She had to be high as a kite when writing this. It's like she stopped paying attention to what she was writing midway through the second sentence.

 

[ObeseScreamingBlackMan]

I had to stop after about 3 paragraphs.

I'll read this sometime when I've been drinking.

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

I had to stop after about 3 paragraphs.

I'll read this sometime when I've been drinking.

I'm drunk right now.
It's not more readable.

 

[Jaimas]

Since we're leaking out little teasers, enjoy John's attempt at writing a commercial for McDonald's starring Allison Holiday. Enjoy the gratuitous racism, mixed motifs, and generally confused and immature writing.

Spoiler: excerpt

Allison (V.O.):
I received an Internet transmission on the main view screen that the folks at McDonald’s were hiding a conspiracy to make people fat and control the weather. Immediately, I knew what had to be done.

CUT TO -– Allison angrily MARCHES into the corporate headquarters of McDonald’s, portrayed as a single building on a sunny green hill, the sun photogenically shining down.

Allison (V.O.):
I’m not going to let some corporation run by a guy that hangsout with agiant purple blob make me fat! I had to get in-their-face!

INT. MCDONALD’S CORPARATE BOARD ROOM -- DAY

Quick zoom -– The doors for the corporate board are KICKED open with Allison’s patented Miyagi Crane Kick. She’s wearing a police hat.

Allison:
(kicking)

Whhhaaaaaa!!!!

After a few exaggerated “Sailor Moon” style movements, she STRIKES a pose.

Allison (CONT’D):
(intense)
McDonald’s, you are cold busted.

In the background, there’s a Hispanic janitor. Allison turns to him.

Allison (CONT’D):
Book ‘em Danno.

We hear the next two lines, but they’re meant to be edited so quickly that they’re just background noise. We see two security guards talking in the background.

Janitor:
Que Pasa Danno?

That is, impossibly, somehow worse than Chris' in-character commercials.

 

[Hodor]

I had to stop after about 3 paragraphs.

I'll read this sometime when I've been drinking.

I have tried to read it both sober and after smoking a bowl.

It's actually a fair bit worse when you're inebriated on anything.

 

[Cubanodun]

For my four girls, Allison, Brea, Lani and yes, even Minuete. I love each of you, you’re the children I’ll never need to have

So even before cutting his penis john hated kids, thanks to the old gods in the north that he is never going to have one

Now Tequila was giving court mandated drug rehab another shot.

IM HIGH ON NYQUILL

 

[Count groudon]

Well nice to know that John's creative capabilities are as terrible as her face looks.

 

[Cynical]

Wu's worked up about people saying Twitter harassment isn't being handled right:

Makes a vague promise:


http://tweetsave.com/spacekatgal/status/695828997310148608


I doubt this Tweetstorm concerns the recent autism avalanche, but I could be wrong.

 

[Ruin]

So we're all in agreement right? No amount of booze or pot can make this shit comprehensible.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

Wu craving that "harrassment" cash.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

Wu's worked up about people saying Twitter harassment isn't being handled right:

View attachment 72031

Makes a vague promise:


http://tweetsave.com/spacekatgal/status/695828997310148608


I doubt this Tweetstorm concerns the recent autism avalanche, but I could be wrong.

It probably has to do with Lena Dunham saying she's quitting Twitter until they can fix the harassment. Harassment meaning anything that criticizes her.

 

[Krieger]

So we're all in agreement right? No amount of booze or pot can make this shit comprehensible.

If someone besides Brianna Wu finds this comprehensible, let alone solid gold, all I can say is I hope their mothers are proud. Their children's misgivings would be their second biggest mistake as parents after calling out uranium out on its bluff as an alleged 'bad' tampon substitute.

 

[AnOminous]

Wu craving that "harrassment" cash.

What impeccable bona fides? The claimed degree that never happened? The shady past as John Walker Flynt, a freak who had to be ordered to stay away from the school newspaper for screaming "fat dyke" and "sand nigger" at people?

Ambien addict John Walker Flynt?

Those impeccable bona fides?