Grand Jury speculation thread

[Optimus Prime]

Y'know, even if Chris simply gets let out of jail after a year's worth of incarceration, this still is the worst thing that's ever happened to him and recovery may simply be impossible.

Barb? Given the heavy involvement of Barb's relatives and the nature of the crime, I highly doubt Chris will ever be allowed to see her again in person. At most, maybe a heavily supervised visit. But mommy dearest is essentially out of the picture in day to day life now.

Pets? I strongly have to wonder if the people who have been fostering the animals are going to give them back. Especially since the animals themselves likely have been living better in the past year than their entire lives.

Car? The Focus is long gone, the van's been totaled, and his credit is in the shitter. At most he'll get some junker crap from one of those 'no credit no problem' places. And even then at sky high prices because of the ongoing car shortages - if he gets a car that has a USB or aux cable input, he'll be lucky.

And 14BC? is only a matter of time before the bank ultimately gets it in one form or another thanks to the poor financial choices of Barb and the fact the only person left in the family who gives a shit about the property is Chris himself who we all know isn't going to be good about those payments.

Given what a clod Chris is, I don't think he realizes any of this. But his best chimpouts are usually when reality simply slaps him with a strong 'no' and he's forced to face cold fact. We could be building up to another powder keg even now...

Those plates were stolen by a 4chan ween back when it was parked in Richmond.

I would laugh if chris simply tries to draw his own license plates in the event he somehow gets a car.

 

[Vamp Soulja]

Anyone know of people who say they're goin to the hearing Thursday? Might be worth it this time since Chris could potentially be walkin outta the slammer, ready to pass judgment on all of the non-believers.

I'm hoping Ethan Ralph shows up, if not to the hearing then I'm sure he'll speed over there as soon as it's confirmed Chris is out.

Is it even open to the public? I thought all the hearings were closed due to it being in family court, or is this one different? Also if Ralph does show up he’ll probably get his ass beat by a law enforcement officer or stray A-Log.

 

[anti SJW]

I would laugh if chris simply tries to draw his own license plates in the event he somehow gets a car.

How the car market is in the US right now, a car dealership would eat Chris alive if He set foot on the lot. They'd see that sucker coming a mile away.

 

[Georges St. Pierre]

Chris being released from prison and him realizing that he can't legally return home, that he can't interact with Barb, and that he will primarily be relying on the charity of weens is probably his worse case scenario. He only wants to be released because he thinks everything will return back exactly the way things were. This will categorically not be the case. Chris is about to become the real life Collosal Chris-Chan.

 

[Cybertonia]

How the car market is in the US right now, a car dealership would eat Chris alive if He set foot on the lot. They'd see that sucker coming a mile away.

The next son-chu will be an '08 mitsubishi galant that's missing it's front bumper, smells like stale blunts, is riding on 2 donuts, and was financed for 80 months.

 

[LargeChoonger]

The next son-chu will be an '08 mitsubishi galant that's missing it's front bumper, smells like stale blunts, is riding on 2 donuts, and was financed for 80 months.

I think he'll try for a bigass SUV to fulfill his power fantasy and store shit in. There's a good chance he gets hooked up with a barely functional Expedition or similar

 

[King Metalia]

Y'know, even if Chris simply gets let out of jail after a year's worth of incarceration, this still is the worst thing that's ever happened to him and recovery may simply be impossible.

Barb? Given the heavy involvement of Barb's relatives and the nature of the crime, I highly doubt Chris will ever be allowed to see her again in person. At most, maybe a heavily supervised visit. But mommy dearest is essentially out of the picture in day to day life now.

Pets? I strongly have to wonder if the people who have been fostering the animals are going to give them back. Especially since the animals themselves likely have been living better in the past year than their entire lives.

Car? The Focus is long gone, the van's been totaled, and his credit is in the shitter. At most he'll get some junker crap from one of those 'no credit no problem' places. And even then at sky high prices because of the ongoing car shortages - if he gets a car that has a USB or aux cable input, he'll be lucky.

And 14BC? is only a matter of time before the bank ultimately gets it in one form or another thanks to the poor financial choices of Barb and the fact the only person left in the family who gives a shit about the property is Chris himself who we all know isn't going to be good about those payments.

Given what a clod Chris is, I don't think he realizes any of this. But his best chimpouts are usually when reality simply slaps him with a strong 'no' and he's forced to face cold fact. We could be building up to another powder keg even now...

I would laugh if chris simply tries to draw his own license plates in the event he somehow gets a car.

I'd still say the worst thing that ever happened to Chris was either being given access to the internet or being put in mainstream education instead of a special school.

As for Barb your probably right about the little to no contact thing. That is if she's still alive of course. And as for 14bc Chris doesn't deserve a house after what he did. He deserves the shittiest run down apartment in all of Virginia.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

Given what a clod Chris is, I don't think he realizes any of this. But his best chimpouts are usually when reality simply slaps him with a strong 'no' and he's forced to face cold fact. We could be building up to another powder keg even now...

I think your summation is pretty on spec. It certainly won't help in any capacity now that Chris thinks he's not just some computer god, but actually god. He could have gotten away with it when he still had his shaky support network, but now? His head is flying higher than it ever has, and on the flip side, he's in even worse shape than he's ever been.

I honestly can't wait until he gets back online and sees just what reactions people will have.

 

[I raped a dog 2day]

I’m wondering if Chris, being Chris, finally convinced the state of Virginia that he’s too retarded to take care of himself? Give him a case worker to make sure he spends his money semi-responsibly on things like rent and food and utilities before buying overpriced toys. He’d probably need a car unless he lives in a more urban area with a better mass transit system (although, moving to a city would probably be good for Chris).

If Chris is given free reign to do whatever he wants, he’ll have one last saga where he does unnecessary, stupid, irresponsible stuff, followed by him being broke and alone and homeless.

 

[brahsparagus]

The worst part about all the speculation for me is that I get as excited about this shit as normies do about sportsball events.
However, unlike sportsball, there is no bar with the trial on a big screen. There is no radio station playing the courtroom proceedings. I won't even know what happens until it filters through various layers of field agents, elder trolls and weens.
I just want a nice night in with a few beers and some hot wings watching our CPU BlueArms Goddess make an absolute fool of himself again.

 

[Ken_Penders69]

Alternatively I would not be surprised at all if chris if chris' case gets another continuance. While it's illegal to hold someone in jail for a year without charging them for something 1 of 2 things could happen.

A.) They fucking charge chris with something (incest and/or rape)

B.) They don't count his stay in the mental hospital towards jail time and use that to hold him an additional 3-4 months

 

[737 MAX Stan Account]

Also if Ralph does show up he’ll probably get his ass beat by a law enforcement officer or stray A-Log.

That would be a satisfying outcome

 

[Optimus Prime]

I'd still say the worst thing that ever happened to Chris was either being given access to the internet or being put in mainstream education instead of a special school.

As for Barb your probably right about the little to no contact thing. That is if she's still alive of course. And as for 14bc Chris doesn't deserve a house after what he did. He deserves the shittiest run down apartment in all of Virginia.

True, the way Chris was brought up laid the foundation for what a stupid, horrible human he is but the ramifications of that are completely beyond Chris in terms of understanding why they were bad - he was a spoiled piece of shit and he looks upon those days as a happier time because life was largely easy street. The literal exact moment that he graduated from MHS, the end of those halcyon days, was when he suddenly had to start putting effort into being part of society and comprehend he isn't the center of the universe.

Here, he's completely lost almost everything that matters to him and then some. In addition to what I mentioned earlier, Chris completely fucked himself over by getting his ass banned from Everfree Northwest and likely every single other ponycon still going, partially due to the fact he committed such a disgusting crime but also in part because those conventions would be wise to not invite the weenery that would be brought from Chris merely attending. The second coming of MHS, the conventions he valued so much because he could be a tard and be accepted, also are now forever beyond his reach.

As for Barb, I'm confident that she's still alive as otherwise we would have seen an obituary.

 

[Yksi_Toveri]

The next son-chu will be an '08 mitsubishi galant that's missing it's front bumper, smells like stale blunts, is riding on 2 donuts, and was financed for 80 months.

I'm holding out hope for a 1979 Econoline Ambulance converted to a camper for a Terry Davis-chu Saga.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

I would laugh if chris simply tries to draw his own license plates in the event he somehow gets a car.

This could happen. If Chris went into the DMV and gets it registered, you know under "name" he'll write Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu. If I'm the DMV employee who would take this in, I'd tell myself they don't pay me enough for this.

 

[A-№1]

Give us a run-down on what she said

She said, "Never again."

I don't know any details as I wasn't there (thank goodness), but I can well imagine the chaos of half a dozen sugared up downies in one of those McDonald's playland hamster structures.

Oh man, I haven’t even considered his credit debt since he’s been locked up. I think it’s safe to assume he’s defaulted on every single line of credit/loan he’s taken out and when he gets out every credit card he owns will be over the limit or closed due to lack of payment.

It's likely his credit cards are all set on autopay to make the minimum monthly payments (and thereby maximum interest payment). Otherwise he would have gotten into trouble with his creditors long since, because managing payments himself is not something Chris is suited for.

Assuming his tugboat hasn't been turned off or taken by Barb, he should be fine. In fact, his balances might have gone down slightly since he doesn't have anything to buy while in jail.

Let’s hope that Barb’s family were smart enough to remove Chris’ ability to access his mom’s bank account because he is stupid enough to try and steal from her if he’s desperate enough.

I'm wondering if Barb has access to Chris' accounts, because she would steal his tugboat given the chance.

 

[anti SJW]

The next son-chu will be an '08 mitsubishi galant that's missing it's front bumper, smells like stale blunts, is riding on 2 donuts, and was financed for 80 months.

So an upgrade for Chris.

 

[King Kiwi]

I'm wondering if Barb has access to Chris' accounts, because she would steal his tugboat given the chance.

Yethinks so, eh?

It would be pretty hilarious if she did but I don't think so; his tugboat I believe has been frozen.

It's going to be interesting watching the fuck-o walk free virtually unrepentant and if there's going to be any drama over it.

The day the internet turned against Chris, especially when it was trending on Twitter, is definitely something that is very memorable to me.

To all of us.

For better or for worse, he's our lolcow and whatever happens happens.

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

Chris being released from prison and him realizing that he can't legally return home, that he can't interact with Barb, and that he will primarily be relying on the charity of weens is probably his worse case scenario. He only wants to be released because he thinks everything will return back exactly the way things were. This will categorically not be the case. Chris is about to become the real life Collosal Chris-Chan.

Damn, if some ween chats him up on release and kindly offers to drive him out there. Kick the autist on steroids....

 

[Hogar Grupal]

I'm wondering if Barb has access to Chris' accounts, because she would steal his tugboat given the chance.

It's a possibility. If she didn't, the house would have gone under the first stages of foreclosure; it's not like Harriet and Tom would pitch in (maybe?). Like Chris, Barb would take more than necessary (they are really alike). What is she going to spend the money on? I don't know since she's not at 14BLC now. If anything, she may get a car, but with her credit, I'd think Barb's sister and brother in law would be footing the bill.