Artcow WogglebugLoveProductions / Cynthia Hanson / Cherie Anne Hapney - One Womanchild's Fruitless Quest to Make Her Cockroach Husbando a Household Name

[Bubble Ba'ath]

Slow down....am I the only one who got whiplash from Cherie typing out "tits"? That's just not a word formulated in the same brain that produces that signature monotone drawl.

"tiii-iiiits on the ends of which there are niiii-iiipplessss"

 

[XYZpdq]

I must read Oz again, because I don't recall that character. I know Wicked more than Oz now. :/

iirc he's in book 2 or 3
he was also in a stage production under Baum's supervision, he had a spin-off illustrated book, and also was in the amazingly shit-tacular live action by the Santa Meets The Ice Cream Bunny guy
so in an unusual twist the portrayal in action by the current person of interest still manages to be one of the less god-awful versions of the character

 

[Overcast]

Of fucking course she outsourced to China.

Cherie, why do you support child labor?

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

God there are so many Oz characters to rival even the ASOIAF series. And Glinda didn't even get her own damn book til the end!

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Of fucking course she outsourced to China.

Cherie, why do you support child labor?

I mean, she now can claim it was made "by children for children".

 

[indigoisviolet]

Very nice. Not only the story but the obvious symbolism going on most of which would have flown over Cynthia's head.

I'm massively prejudiced towards over-praising anything with Ricci on screen, yet for this short it's warranted.

Spoiler: other interpretation

The goat at the start and the clothes hook at the end give another way to read the film: naive Little Red Ricci is engaging in pre-erotic fantasy in which she trangresses her everyday experiences as a shy little maiden. Sex Ed was non-existent, so she doesn't quite know what she's desiring, which is why the daydream ends abruptly at the nitty gritty. She willingly does some trangressive things, and complies with instructions to do others. She remains in full control of her fate within her fantasy despite the alluring danger she imagines for herself. The thing is, the gay overwhelms this almost entirely...

10 years later the chap who directs it went on to make Year Of The Fish (2007) which is an urban retelling of a Chinese variant on Cinderella set in a Chinatown massage parlour. Holy shit, it's on YouTube, go go go:

You will immediately spot certain similar motifs, especially the focus on claws and the expressionist use of music, and it's definitely not for little kids, but don't let that put you off, there's nothing gratuitous depicted. It's good arthouse cinema, with a plot, sympathetic characters, and everything a proper film should have including a legit happy ending in among all the other implied happy endings of the massage parlour. The performances are mint. The cynical "ugly sisters" steal the early part of the film, and the uncomfortable tension that builds in Cinderella's scenes where she encounters the unkindness of the city are palpable. The rotoscoping somehow manages to make the squalor fantastical without losing grime or becoming overly distracting, which by itself is an achievement. The Asian mythological take on Baba Yaga is worth watching by itself, I never noticed her connection to the Fairy Godmother in the sanitised European version of the tale.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

I'm massively prejudiced towards over-praising anything with Ricci on screen, yet for this short it's warranted.

I'll admit to liking Ms. Ricci in what she's done. I first saw her as Wednesday Addams and thought she was a great actress. Why? She could convey more emotion in one raised eyebrow than some actresses could with their entire face. And while she never became huge she's has had a good career.

10 years later the chap who directs it went on to make Year Of The Fish (2007) which is an urban retelling of a Chinese variant on Cinderella set in a Chinatown massage parlour. Holy shit, it's on YouTube, go go go:

Seen it. Liked it. Didn't think it was great but it was worth the watch. Some heavy subtext and symbolism thrown in for good measure. And all of it would fly over Cynthia's head because she's literal as hell.

 

[indigoisviolet]

And all of it would fly over Cynthia's head because she's literal as hell.

I'm endlessly fascinated by Cynth's obsession, and even moreso that it overlaps with established cinematic language. I find it more interesting than the way that queer cinema has infiltrated Disney with their bad touch takes on Maleficent and Cruella and the like.

If only we could get her to press play on some iClone tutorials and she moves the camera, or lights her outdoor scenes differently to her indoor ones. Everything must give way to placing Woggie center stage so all the other characters can praise him, though. It's frustrating to type the least.

 

[SouthernBitchBob]

Note how the director kisses the wolf's ass all the way through, despite deception, murder, enforced cannibalism, attempted sexual assault, and even soliciting a minor to shit on him at one point (I see you mousing back up to press play all of a sudden; I'm watching and now judging you...) By the end of this short, the wolf is unambigously presented as the tragic victim of events. Cruel Little Red Ricci toys with his fragile emotions because she's a heartless slutty tease who wants to crush the wolf's hopes and dreams for her own sick gratification! This lunacy is absolutely typical of a certain type of gay cinema, although there's usually more nudity and scenes go on for too long. A certain type of arty farty gay director takes a wretched character, sometimes even a villanous one, and then refocuses a familiar story and setting to present their chosen antagonist as misunderstood, worthy of extreme sympathy, and put upon by everyone else.

Which is a fancy way of describing exactly what you're doing here with Mr HM Woggle Bug TE, Cynth. Hence the endlessly comical gay romance films you accidentally produce...

Okay I was drawn by the promise of some good Ricci but I had to stop watching when the creepy child sexualizing took a hard turn into "I need to make peepee and caca". I was laughing too hard to watch the rest. I thought you had to be kidding about asking a minor to shit on him.

 

[indigoisviolet]

I thought you had to be kidding about asking a minor to shit on him.

Well... I did mention it was gay cinema...

Spoiler: now wildly veering off topic, I do apologise... Cynth, watch the black and white film please

Yeah, unfortunately for the director it's not 1997 any more, and We Of Two Decades In The Future know all too well that a crossdressing wolf trying to convince teen girls to engage in watersports with him isn't merely ridiculous exaggerated metaphor played for arch comedic effect, safely sailing over the highbrows of much of the audience... Although personally I feel that it adds a sense of dramatic irony to this interesting little meander of a film, a measure of how far we've fallen in so short a time, stuff like that.

It's like how general audiences were blissfully unaware of the crush fetish nature of Enemy (2013) after it got a wider release because Gyllenhaal's star suddenly shot right up. Or worse, that moment during the film when you worked it out unprompted and then you had to sit there mortified in a nice, clean, air conditioned, middle class, posho art cinema feeling disgusted with yourself for knowing such a thing even exists, that sort of thing... Which one hopes was the intended arty farty experiential point of that film, but you can never tell these days.

 

[White-Kettle Shufflepunk]

God there are so many Oz characters to rival even the ASOIAF series. And Glinda didn't even get her own damn book til the end!

And that was only the last Baum book. There’s like, twenty something more people actually like by various authors.

Also, hot damn, this thread was a marathon of laughs. I think what most strikes me about Cynthia is how… strange her approach to creativity is. It’s almost unique. Like, even other author-cows like Chris tend to have… recognisable emotions and processes in regards to their work. Cynthia honestly doesn’t seem to enjoy writing or creating media? It comes off more like she feels burdened to bring Wogglebug to the masses. She approaches revisions to her work less like an author trying to improve their story, and more like the Mormon Church deciding God changed his mind about black people in the 70s.

Another thing I find interesting is that there is precedent for what Cynthia is doing. Not just using public domain characters for new stories like Wicked, but taking them out of their original context. Doctor Who fans have literally paid to license minor characters like the Brigadier’s granddaughter or whatever for their own original stories, while obliquely referring to the parent franchise as much as copyright law allows. There’s a whole bunch of projects both amateur and professional using public domain superheroes. Cynthia is just doing the same thing without any spark of creativity whatsoever. For all the time and effort she’s spent basically constructing a paradise for a fictional character, her setting and characters are beyond stock, especially compared to the weird texture of Baum’s Oz. Genomia or however it’s spelt has the flavour and world building of a children’s colouring book you’d buy for a dollar at the drugstore.

A few people have compared Cynthia to Henry Darger, but I feel this is flawed for two reasons. One, Darger worked for a living. Two, Darger’s work was intensely deranged, but it was also unique. Cynthia meanwhile just remakes the worst Barbie movies with a minstrel show bug. Although I could see her including some preteen dick girls.

 

[Smegma Gaming]

A few people have compared Cynthia to Henry Darger, but I feel this is flawed for two reasons. One, Darger worked for a living. Two, Darger’s work was intensely deranged, but it was also unique. Cynthia meanwhile just remakes the worst Barbie movies with a minstrel show bug. Although I could see her including some preteen dick girls.

The greatest difference between Darger and Cynthia is that she's a talentless lolcow and Henry Darger wasn't. (Tho he was a bit of a weirdo tbh)

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

The greatest difference between Darger and Cynthia is that she's a talentless lolcow and Henry Darger wasn't. (Tho he was a bit of a weirdo tbh)

A "bit" of a weirdo is really underselling how much of a weirdo Henry Darger was. But having said that art historians have commented on his eye for color, composition and in many cases the sheer epicness of his watercolors. Those are words which Cynthia will never receive from critics unless they're being used in comparison to something better or they're being used ironically.

 

[White-Kettle Shufflepunk]

Darger was without a doubt a very talented artist, despite his lack of training. He was also without a doubt a fucking kook and definitely some flavour of spectrum. I see him as proof that being a lolcow requires two things: eccentricity and atrocious behaviour. Darger had the first thing in spades, but from what I’ve read seemed to have been a decent if incredibly lonely man. I doubt Cynthia’s thread would still be going strong if she wasn’t also a bizarrely arrogant and unpleasant leech.

 

[Picklechu]

Hello to all loyal Wogglebug fans. Distraught over the fact that my woggleplushie business, while better than Cynthia's, can never compete with the business connections that others in the thread have in Bad Taiwan, I went on a lengthy bender. How was I going to pay the court-ordered child support to my ex-wife, who won't even let me see little Picklechu Jr. and Pickletta, all because of Cherie and her constant lawbreaking? I have all these problems and I need cash now! After being asked to leave my local Target after chugging three bottles of cooking sherry from the shelf, I passed out in front of my local library, thinking about all of the feelings that Mr. H.M. Wogglebug, T.E. makes me feel.

When I awoke, hungover and lying in a puddle of my own vomit, I had an epiphany - I would share all of my wogglefeels with the entire world, and become a multimillionaire in the process.

Vraies Couleurs: Poèmes du Wogglebug will be available in your e-book store of choice, as well as in paperback form via Amazon. This incredibly moving book of poetry has already been mentioned as a contender for the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry, which is an enormous honor.

Below is a small sample of my work, which Dwight Garner with the New York Times calls "straight up gangsta." I hope all of you - especially Cherie, with me being her bestie and all! - will support the endeavor.

Spoiler

Cherie, Cherie, quite contrary
How does your big gut grow?
With diet softgels and Taco Bell
And mom buying takeout to go

Spoiler

There once was a bug from Oz
Who an autist liked just because
She denied he was gay
Insisted "no way!"
But he had a frog's cock in his jaws

Spoiler

Roses are red
The Wogglebug's brown
He's sexually attracted to both men and a gown

Frogman is green
He can jump very high
He'll only have sex with someone who's a guy

This makes Cherie mad
She becomes quite uncouth
It's such a shame she can't handle the truth

Wogglebug's gay
Frogman is too
They married each other, not a self-insert Mary Sue

Spoiler

Cherie is fat and
I would not have sex with her
Wogglebug is gay

 

[Sealbaby]

if you get big on biking you can eat basically whatever the fuck you want
I bike about seven miles a day and I'm like "well, do I want a pile of hamburgers or a pile of honey buns to go with a twelve pack of beer"

Not true, not if you want to lose weight. Most of the evidence suggests that eating less is more important for losing weight than exercising more.

"Pooling data from six trials, researchers found that a combination of diet and exercise generated no greater weight loss than diet alone after six months. At 12 months, the diet-and-exercise combo showed an advantage, but it was slight—about 4 pounds on average. In another review of studies, the difference was less than 3 pounds."

 

[lolcow yoghurt]

So I was offline working on Wogglebug VHS tapes. They are very high quality unlike the stereotypical VHS sense while still has the fuzzy warmth. I spent $1500 to buy a VCR (2000 model), cables to connect my PC, high quality unopened VHS tapes. I have 12 copies, $20 for each of this rare Wogglebug experience. PM me to order.

 

[Puddleduck]

So I was offline working on Wogglebug VHS tapes. They are very high quality unlike the stereotypical VHS sense while still has the fuzzy warmth. I spent $1500 to buy a VCR (2000 model), cables to connect my PC, high quality unopened VHS tapes. I have 12 copies, $20 for each of this rare Wogglebug experience. PM me to order.
View attachment 3537427

Send one to Cherie for free!

 

[Andrew Neiman]

Wogglebug's gay
Frogman is too
They married each other, not a self-insert Mary Sue

The Wogglebug is straight. If this image doesn't tell you everything you need to know, I don't know what will.

 

[LoverofPi]

Another thing I find interesting is that there is precedent for what Cynthia is doing. Not just using public domain characters for new stories like Wicked, but taking them out of their original context. Doctor Who fans have literally paid to license minor characters like the Brigadier’s granddaughter or whatever for their own original stories, while obliquely referring to the parent franchise as much as copyright law allows.

The fans AFAIK actually invented that character (the brigadier's daughter) , only for her to be adopted into the Canon of the show decades later, played by the same actress.
There's also the big finish audio plays which are all essentially endorsed fanfiction made by a recording company.