Grand Jury speculation thread

[Ken_Penders69]

Imagine chris chimping out after target, toy r us and gamestop start telling him to get lost for buying toys cuz of his sex offender status

 

[Mason Verger]

this idiot will never get his comeuppance will he
and no, 1 year wasn't enough

Depends on where you set the goal post on “justice” and what matters to Chris. A year in jail and being nationally outed as a motherfucker would be sufficient penalty for most, but Chris takes that in stride. But, if Chris where to lose even a fraction of his precious collection, that’s a very big deal to him. Add to that he’ll ideally not be allowed to contact or interact with Barb anymore for the rest of her life, the one last person in the world that he had left.. Chris has potentially lost everything important to him.

 

[Muu]

364 days how's it feel....
....hmmm'yeah.....

 

[LikeAStone]

Chris getting time served, being released, only being unable to return to his place and learning that his stuff is missing will likely send him out to get more stuff, only to be reported for violating whatever terms he has and sending him back to some disciplinary setting.

I would feel comfortable betting good money on this becoming a cycle.

 

[Coomfucius]

Chris has potentially lost everything important to him

So we're just going to get a Terry A. Davis style arc where Chris films his inane ramblings while occasionally being harassed by fans until eventually he ends up walking into traffic.

 

[LargeChoonger]

Depends on where you set the goal post on “justice” and what matters to Chris. A year in jail and being nationally outed as a motherfucker would be sufficient penalty for most, but Chris takes that in stride. But, if Chris where to lose even a fraction of his precious collection, that’s a very big deal to him. Add to that he’ll ideally not be allowed to contact or interact with Barb anymore for the rest of her life, the one last person in the world that he had left.. Chris has potentially lost everything important to him.

What will become of the hoard if Chris is permabanned from 14BC? You'd have to contract a hazmat specialist at this rate

 

[Muu]

So we're just going to get a Terry A. Davis style arc where Chris films his inane ramblings while occasionally being harassed by fans until eventually he ends up walking into traffic.

Yes, except all in one day.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

@Pointless Sperg How does the technicalities work in this sort of thing? Say Chris goes to the hearing, offered the plea, doesn't sperg out, gets time served. Is he out right away or is there processing at the jail? I imagine he'll be able to collect his Fail Jail Totems, but then do they just boot him out in front of the jail?

 

[RSLUG30]

What will become of the hoard if Chris is permabanned from 14BC? You'd have to contract a hazmat specialist at this rate

a second house fire will solve that just fine.
there's already the same risk of one too assuming that barb hasn't cleaned up

 

[Pvt. Real G]

Hide your kids. Hide your wives. Hide your husbands. Cuz horny Chris is gonna rape everybody out here.

 

[Bassomatic]

I'm mostly watching this thread to see what retard calls a bomb threat into the courthouse to "own" Chris.

 

[D_Tractor]

this idiot will never get his comeuppance will he
and no, 1 year wasn't enough

Comeuppance doesn't mean what you think it does.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Im calling it: The case willl go to trial and he will get Not Guilty due to insufficient evidence. Heilburg will argue that Chris is a lunatic and lives in his own reality, only needing to convince a few people on the jury. Then Chris will get released, get a lump sum of back logged tugboat bucks, and the taxpayer will weep.

J&DR is a court for petty/small(ish) crimes like domestic violence. It does not have jury trials. The judge is the one who decides. While by Virginia law Chris is entitled to a jury trial, he can only request it after a bench trial in J&DR has completed.

Please read the FAQ.

if one more fucking retard who joined august 2nd 2021 say “another continuance!1!2!1!1!” then i’m going to sperg out

There's no guarantee that, even if a plea deal is worked out, that *this* hearing will be the one where it's enacted, so there could very well be another continuance.

And even if Chris is released, that doesn't mean the case if finalized. If he's on probation the case stays open until he's completed all the terms of his probation. This is also technically a continuance.

@Pointless Sperg How does the technicalities work in this sort of thing? Say Chris goes to the hearing, offered the plea, doesn't sperg out, gets time served. Is he out right away or is there processing at the jail? I imagine he'll be able to collect his Fail Jail Totems, but then do they just boot him out in front of the jail?

That would be specific to Virginia, so I don't have a good answer. If today and any future days are suspended, then theoretically he should be able to walk right out of the courthouse, however procedure in most places would be that the current day is his last day and thus he is taken back to the jail for processing and release (and given his stuff).

As to what they do once he walks out of the jail, that's entirely up to the local jurisdiction. In city jails they just boot you out but sometimes in rural jails they give you a ride to a nearby town or give you pocket money so you can pay for bus fare or a taxi. There is no bus near CVRJ.

EDIT: My best guess is that since CVRJ is not in Greene County, they'd at least give him some means to get back to Greene County since he's being held on their behalf.

 

[FinnSven]

Whatever happened to those alternative punishment judges?

Or were they just a myth?

I still think a form of community service, in which Chris and a bunch of other lolcows are made to share a house, real world/big brother style, with the antics broadcast a week or two after the fact, would be an appropriate way to get them all to pay back to the community.

The advertising would certainly pay for their upkeep, but I can’t see product placement being an option.

Unfortunately I know that the end result will be much more mundane than this.

 

[mindlessobserver]

I expect he will be released, but with strict requirements. I.E, the judge is probably going to accept a plea that he's nut bars. He won't be able to live in same house as Barb, and he will also be ordered to attend routine psychiatric counseling and social service contacts. This is so the State can keep an eye on him and set the stage for involuntary commitment if he can't maintain even a basic structure.

Somewhat similar to drug offenders being released but still required to attend substance abuse therapy and so on.

 

[The Joker]

Chris is being sent to a women's prison where he will meet a hot prison guard that will facilitate his escape.

... or it's gonna be a continuance.

 

[Vamp Soulja]

I don’t think Chris will sperg in court and I don’t think he’ll make a grand declaration of divinity if he’s freed. What he will do is immediately make a video or twitter post about how Hasbro needs to make 5 more seasons of MLP G4 instead of that Deity Level GOPony Mistake.

 

[WolfKiller]

Unfortunately I know that the end result will be much more mundane than this.

Companies would pay to place their competitors' products, not their own. Therefore, it is still a viable revenue stream.

 

[Bassomatic]

Whatever happened to those alternative punishment judges?

Or were they just a myth?

I still think a form of community service, in which Chris and a bunch of other lolcows are made to share a house, real world/big brother style, with the antics broadcast a week or two after the fact, would be an appropriate way to get them all to pay back to the community.

The advertising would certainly pay for their upkeep, but I can’t see product placement being an option.

Unfortunately I know that the end result will be much more mundane than this.

Chris already has done tard court a few times he got movie tickets for showing up to his probation hearing ffs. Now a normal person blow off your PO you're going to get free shiny bracelets.

Tard court hasn't worked for Chris his crimes have gotten worse and more of them.

chris should aside other things do some community service. But he's Chris, he would fuck it up. He's too good to pick trash up, too weird to help at a boys and girls club.

Honestly as the system sees it removal of his freedoms is the best thing they can do.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Depends on where you set the goal post on “justice” and what matters to Chris. A year in jail and being nationally outed as a motherfucker would be sufficient penalty for most, but Chris takes that in stride. But, if Chris where to lose even a fraction of his precious collection, that’s a very big deal to him. Add to that he’ll ideally not be allowed to contact or interact with Barb anymore for the rest of her life, the one last person in the world that he had left.. Chris has potentially lost everything important to him.

Chris is a modern tragedy, but autistic.