🐱 Trans People On Reddit Are Sharing Their Biggest "Culture Shocks" After Transitioning, And It's An Enlightening Read

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hannahdobro/trans-people-share-culture-shock-moments

https://archive.ph/ZE8bS

Reddit user u/TyDye386 recently posed the question, "Trans people of Reddit, what was the biggest 'culture shock' you noticed after transitioning to your gender?" The thread quickly filled with thousands of comments from trans folks sharing their experiences and perspectives. Here are some of their responses:​

1. "MTF here. I pass fairly well a good majority of the time, and something I knew about but never really saw first-hand until my transition was the sisterhood. Women will come up to me and just vibe in dangerous areas. I've gone to the bathroom while on a bike ride only to come out and find that a couple of girls were watching my bike for me. I was recently in a bike accident, and it looks like I have a gnarly black eye (two facial fractures will do that), and nearly every woman I've talked to has checked on me, made sure I'm safe, and offered help. I actually carry menstrual products around just in case one of my new sisters needs something, even if I may not need it."​

"I always return the favor. I pay a lot more attention to other women when I'm out and about. If I see a dude being a creep to someone, I'll go talk to her and give her an excuse to leave. If I see that a woman may not be in the safest situation, I'll do what I can for her, even if it's just watching her stuff while she is away to make sure no one takes anything, even if she never knows I was watching her stuff for her."
—u/Kthaanid

2. "I'm FTM. I was shocked when I moved to a new job where no one knew me 'before' transitioning; they just knew me as male. In meetings and conversations about work (I'm in a technical field), people tend to listen to me more than when I was female-presenting. And, not only that, they don't even make as much eye contact or open body language toward women to include them in the conversation; it's mostly towards the men. This even happens when someone is knowingly talking to me and a female superior. I've had to intentionally steer them to engage more with the women and not me. What's most shocking is that women do it to other women too. I'm gonna spend the rest of my career making sure people really listen to the women around me."​

—u/significant_digit

3. "I am a mostly passable 42-year-old MTF who has been on HRT for two years. In the 40 years I spent as a man, never once did anyone ever call me aggressive, hot-headed, or rude in a professional setting. It’s happened three times this year alone. I also get interrupted far more frequently. Also, I've noticed something regarding the Northeast. My work has me traveling from NYC to Maine and everywhere in between. Most people I run into don’t give a shit that I’m trans. I can probably count on one hand any real transphobic comments I’ve received. I never adjusted my voice after transitioning, so my voice does tend to cause confusion, yet it's rarely an issue. For this reason alone I can’t see myself ever leaving the Northeastern US for warmer climates."​

—u/missvicky1025

4. "The very first time I went out in public dressed femininely after I came out, I had two other women say nice things about my outfit. I was stunned. In all the previous 30+ years of dressing like a man, I can't think of a single time a man complimented me on my clothes. I've always been pretty fashionable, no matter what gender I'm dressing for. Now I almost expect it. I know what outfits and looks I have that will always get other women to compliment me. It's wild."​

—u/tenehemia

5. "I thought I was really close with all my girls when I was a gay guy. It was like 10 times more accepting socially than when I was 'straight.' But it's a whole other level when you transition. Getting to talk to women with zero barriers and the full ability to relate to so many extra things was probably one of the nicest parts about transitioning. Whenever I talk to any women who accept me now, it's by far the most validating, enjoyable part of transitioning. I was never able to relate to others on such a level before because my experience wasn't close enough."​

—u/Girlmode

6. "As a passing, almost fully transitioned trans woman, people are a *lot* more concerned about my safety as a woman than they ever were as a man. I've always been a rather adventurous, outdoorsy kind of person, but when you do dangerous stuff as a guy, people just shrug it off. When you do it as a girl, people suddenly get really worried about you. Pre-transition, I could run a 5K in the rain, and nobody cared. I do that as a woman, and suddenly people are all stopping to ask if I'm OK and need help."​

"And don't get me started on people freaking out over me being out alone at night. There's also a closer camaraderie among women just for being women, and so many men have absolutely no idea how to interact with a woman. I've been hit on and catcalled, and I never knew before how frequent this all was. On a more lighthearted note, I was surprised to learn that using purses has the side benefit of never forgetting my keys in my pants pockets and running them through the wash anymore."
—u/DoctorWatchamacallit

7. "Many women now see me as a threat or feel uncomfortable around me. That kinda stings. Before transitioning I had more female friends than male. Now I feel like it's really hard finding new female friends. I miss those relationships."​

—u/Aldaron23

8. "I'm a game developer and probably know more about video games than most people. As a guy, if I said I was a fan of this or that series, it would basically be taken uncritically. Now, as a woman, in groups of mostly men when I say I really like Metal Gear Solid, there's a weirdly high volume of dudes who feel the need to quiz me to prove that I'm a 'real' fan. Catcalls and generally not being as safe in public also sucks, but we all knew about that stuff. The weird part was just not being taken seriously anymore on stuff I'm actually quite knowledgeable on."​

—u/brainwarts

9. "The women in my family, my female friends, and even female acquaintances now confide every single deep, dark detail of their lives in me, or they openly talk about their every bodily function. I became 'one of the girls' way before I was comfortable with it."​

—u/O_My_Goshness_No

10. "FTM here. People started listening to my opinions and taking my suggestions more often, and now I get treated with more respect and talked to like an adult instead of like a little girl who doesn't know what she's doing. My knowledge and abilities haven't changed, it's just that I present male now. Guess that's male privilege. Also, I've learned how little guys care about what people around them do. I've never gotten even a side glance for going into a stall to pee, never had a man in the bathroom look at me like I don't belong there, and my guy friends treat me like one of the bros no matter how feminine I look that day."​

—u/GeminiIsMissing

11. "Male here. Suddenly no one gives a shit about me. I feel totally anonymous. No one makes any comments about me or double takes or smiles or anything. I’ll get a nod, but that’s it. The pockets are amazing though. They are huge and numerous."​

—u/Bonesaucer

12. "The difference between being friends with people of the same and different genders is shocking. Now that I'm out to my friends, my guy friends treat me much differently. I'm one of them now. It's a lot different than being friends with guys as a girl, or even being friends with girls as a girl."​

—u/MyChemicalFoemance

13. "How much easier it is to navigate the world as a disabled man in a healthcare settings vs. how hard it was when I was seen as a disabled 'woman.' I went from barely any support as a 'woman' until a doctor tested me genetically for certain things. Even then, I just got, 'Okay yeah, you’re disabled. Get used to it.' Now I have a team of supportive doctors who never once ask me questions I was asked as a female. My favorite example of one such question from back then is: 'Did your symptoms start after a boyfriend broke up with you? No? Well, have you had a boyfriend? Could not having one be why?'"​

—u/emmetthale

14. "Girls are so nice to each other! It seems so strange that a random woman in the metro might just compliment me on my clothes — just like that. Also, women's bathrooms are dirty!"​

—u/3nderslime

15. "As FTM, I have my mental health issues and sexual trauma invalidated way more. Also, there's a lack of platonic intimacy in friendships now."​

—u/kasp___

16. "FTM here. Everyone suddenly expects you to be a hyper-masculine straight guy who drinks beers, talks shit about women, and never discusses or shows emotion of any sort."​

—u/krissy_leigh

17. "Maybe a less common experience, but I’ve been told I have oodles of internalized misogyny. I’m a gay trans man, so because I transitioned and I’m attracted to men, I apparently hate women. I didn’t expect people to assume that I’m being sexist for existing as myself."​

—u/mushturtles

18. "I'm a trans dude, and people actually find me funny now. It's fantastic for me, but sad to think about the root cause because my sense of humor hasn't changed. Also, I'm still figuring out the handshake thing dudes do to greet each other. Like, are we gonna fist bump? Are we gonna go for the clasp and hug? Are we gonna just go for the business standard? There's gotta be some rule for it, but I'm still mystified by it and fuck it up every time."​

—u/kasimirthered

19. "As a man, I could babble on about any number of bullshit topics, and people would listen intently. Now I'm surprised if I can even get a sentence in before I'm getting talked over."​

—u/zoey_will

20. "Almost no touching by non-family members. When I was living as a woman, people would give hugs and touch my shoulder or arms. As a man now, they will shake my hand and nothing else."​

—u/Dutch_Rayan

21. "As a 'passing,' almost fully transitioned male, I've been told to suck up my mental problems A LOT more than when I looked like a female, and I was still told that a lot back then too."​

—u/ash_he_him

22. Finally: "Men’s restrooms are weird slits in the fabric of the universe where social norms don’t make sense anymore. Do NOT look at anyone. Do NOT speak to anyone. Grunting and moaning (to a gentlemanly degree) is acceptable so long as you are actively pissing or shitting. If you make eye contact with someone, it feels like they’re looking inside your brain at your most tragic secrets and you’re doing the same to them. Also, there’s a fine misting of piss on every surface. Which, in my opinion, is an upgrade to pads on the walls."​

—u/TyNyeTheTransGuy

 

[Knight of the Rope]

Most of these read less like lived experiences, and more like second-hand accounts of stuff they saw in a blog post once about how the 'opposite sex' lives. And I can't figure out if that's because they're all autistic trannies, or if it's because they're all redditors.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

I can't figure out if that's because they're all autistic trannies, or if it's because they're all redditors.

But you repeat yourself.

 

[CharlesBarkley]

19. "As a man, I could babble on about any number of bullshit topics, and people would listen intently. Now I'm surprised if I can even get a sentence in before I'm getting talked over."​

When I used to look normal people gave me full attention. Now that I look some kind of clown retard, people think my ideas have less merit. WHY?!

 

[Quintex96]

Can anyone - ANYONE - find a verified case of heterosexual men stalking and raping trannies? Like, are Chads lurking in poorly lit carparks just so they can get some bussy?

it's not straight dudes. It's troons preying on weaker troons

 

[NJBear]

No mention of actual Lesbian women that are not safe around these 'trans people'?

 

[FamicomGorby]

"And don't get me started on people freaking out over me being out alone at night. There's also a closer camaraderie among women just for being women, and so many men have absolutely no idea how to interact with a woman. I've been hit on and catcalled, and I never knew before how frequent this all was. On a more lighthearted note, I was surprised to learn that using purses has the side benefit of never forgetting my keys in my pants pockets and running them through the wash anymore."
—u/DoctorWatchamacallit

Pressin X fuckin hard, this bitch has never been catcalled. This reads more like what someone imagines that a woman's life is like.

Most of these read less like lived experiences, and more like second-hand accounts of stuff they saw in a blog post once about how the 'opposite sex' lives. And I can't figure out if that's because they're all autistic trannies, or if it's because they're all redditors.

The answer is yes.

 

[Chongqing]

This reminds me of when Jim Sterlings transitioned to a fem and then said some weirdo offered to carried his groceries for him.

 

[Haramburger]

4. "The very first time I went out in public dressed femininely after I came out, I had two other women say nice things about my outfit. I was stunned. In all the previous 30+ years of dressing like a man, I can't think of a single time a man complimented me on my clothes. I've always been pretty fashionable, no matter what gender I'm dressing for. Now I almost expect it. I know what outfits and looks I have that will always get other women to compliment me. It's wild."​

​

maximum overkek

Troons again almost getting it but missing the mark.

 

[GarthVader]

I would call all of these people delusional, only they are troons and redditors, and it would be redundant.

 

[Flan Handler]

​

maximum overkek
View attachment 3577143
Troons again almost getting it but missing the mark.

I cannot agree with this strongly enough. If you are a “woman” getting a ton of compliments from women you barely know, this is female aggression and defensiveness*. Women will compliment each other to keep each other off balance. Many compliments are followed up with a shiv.

These dudes do not have “close female friends.

* the exception to the “compliments as aggression” rule is kind of fun. Women become invisible as they age. There are two notable reactions to this: 1. Melt into a dysfunctional wrinkled angry wreck, or 2. Embrace the inner old lady and just be kind of lovely. This is likely if the woman has had a good life and can accept her present. Once in a while old woman 2 will see a young woman who possesses rare beauty and is wearing a great outfit, and the old lady will just walk up and give a sincere compliment to the younger lady just in appreciation of how fleeting it is and how much she enjoys her memories of her youth without rancor. Those are the best compliments to receive.

 

[GarthVader]

Without picture I doubt every "I mostly pass well" statement from MtF's.

These troons pass like a flaming kidney stone.

 

[mold]

I cannot agree with this strongly enough. If you are a “woman” getting a ton of compliments from women you barely know, this is female aggression and defensiveness*. Women will compliment each other to keep each other off balance. Many compliments are followed up with a shiv.

These dudes do not have “close female friends.

* the exception to the “compliments as aggression” rule is kind of fun. Women become invisible as they age. There are two notable reactions to this: 1. Melt into a dysfunctional wrinkled angry wreck, or 2. Embrace the inner old lady and just be kind of lovely. This is likely if the woman has had a good life and can accept her present. Once in a while old woman 2 will see a young woman who possesses rare beauty and is wearing a great outfit, and the old lady will just walk up and give a sincere compliment to the younger lady just in appreciation of how fleeting it is and how much she enjoys her memories of her youth without rancor. Those are the best compliments to receive.

what the fuck

women give each other sincere compliments all the time

 

[Kill a Troon for Pikamee]

Literally every single one of these is "I'm passing, I am treated by everyone else as if I really were of the imaginary gender I'm pretending to be, I am a master of disguise and nobody has an idea I'm trans". They all have just this single delusional fantasy

 

[GarthVader]

Literally every single one of these is "I'm passing, I am treated by everyone else as if I really were of the imaginary gender I'm pretending to be, I am a master of disguise and nobody has an idea I'm trans". They all have just this single delusional fantasy

And the funny part is there is still a good chance that they will kill themselves. Even after all this delusional ass patting.

 

[Norbert the Tiger]

This is DeJa Vu, there was another article with a near identical title, about transgender "people" deluding themselves on reddit.

Like others, I am highly skeptical to the degree to which these people think they pass.

Beyond that, I marvel that these people are astounded men and women are treated differently because men and women ARE different. Yes it is a different proposition for a woman to go out at night jogging alone (not sure what difference rain would make).

I suspect a lot of these people like "trans dude" happy that SHE is seen as funny as affable is a function in working in super woke enclaves. Many probably work at twitter or amazon or a handful of other tech jobs.

 

[deso2y]

Lol imagine thinking a man under 165 cm (5'4" for muttstani) with a baby face, no/pube beard, a squeaky voice and huge fucking hips (and a literal pussy lol) would command respect more than an average woman, this alone proves that our lil poons will never ever be men.
The AGPs are truly delusion "teeheee I'm a little 40yo girl who is constantly interrupted and cat-called by big bad men teeheee" Gibes levels of delusion.

 

[Elwood P. Dowd]

No mention of actual Lesbian women that are not safe around these 'trans people'?

On Reddit? I mean, duh. True and honest carpet munchers might actually be the most hated group on the site at this point.

 

[The Wicked Mitch]

Can anyone - ANYONE - find a verified case of heterosexual men stalking and raping trannies? Like, are Chads lurking in poorly lit carparks just so they can get some bussy?

This is all part of the mr. Garrison-esque cope about not being molested by his dad.

They desperately want to live their coom-fantasy of being 14 year old pure Aryan stock Stacey "raped" in the stairwell of a mall by a pack of feral hoodlums with 12" cocks

 

[Admin Dissipate Swordfish]

I find it hilarious about these women who take drugs in order to look like men suddenly find that they're being told to man up, bottle their feelings, be aggressive, and literally all the problematic shit aired out about male society today. Like no shit, there's no hidden wonderland or secret club in being a male--it's a shit world where people ignore each other and drink beer.

Compare it to the men who pretend to be women who seem to be living in (fictional) fantasyland, guess it's another big fat L for the ladies in our cursed earth.

 

[Haramburger]

I find it hilarious about these women who take drugs in order to look like men suddenly find that they're being told to man up, bottle their feelings, be aggressive, and literally all the problematic shit aired out about male society today. Like no shit, there's no hidden wonderland or secret club in being a male--it's a shit world where people ignore each other and drink beer.

Compare it to the men who pretend to be women who seem to be living in (fictional) fantasyland, guess it's another big fat L for the ladies in our cursed earth.

The exclusively male spaces are places like b-ball courts in the inner city and shit like that. Why would you want to infiltrate that? A lot of regular men don't bother attending. Definitely not a place for womanlets, it's not like you're going to dunk a ball and become everybody's bro, lol.