Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Mooner]

The FBI guy doing his case probably took one good look at this stuffed ham and promptly made an account on the Farms.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Now I’m not trying to brag, but we all saw Pat looking like that for several months before today. Some might say we helped make today’s Pat a reality.



Bill Murray’s retarded son

 

[RembrandtCourage]

He's the living embodiment of Papa John's '40 pizzas in 30 days'. Pat, at least lay off your preferred pepperoni on your pizzas. I don't know how but he's managed to outgrease Greer. How the fuck is that possible? I really wish they had included his absolutely unhinged rant during his detainment.

 

[Kaede Did Nothing Wrong]

Now I’m not trying to brag, but we all saw Pat looking like that for several months before today. Some might say we helped make today’s Pat a reality.

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Bill Murray’s retarded son
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kek I also like how the reporter is in a suit too big and pat is squeezed into clothes too small.

 

[AnOminous]

I've sperged about my wall-eye/lolcow correlation theories before. Has this nigga had a stroke or caught a beating in Portugal? His eyes are more or less pointing the same direction in many earlier images. Somewhere in the intervening years we catch him doing his best Forrest Whitaker Eye:
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This recent interview pic is an alarming degradation:
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Same bovine energy, droopy tard eyes, and rubbery fish lips.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

kek I also like how the reporter is in a suit too big and pat is squeezed into clothes too small.

I also think they did this in the “unoccupied” half of the hovel, hence the mix of empty space and cardboard boxes. I suspect the air conditioning in that half was not turned on in advance of the crew’s arrival, because Pat is stupid. So they shoot under hot lights in a hot shitbox hovel with no AC and Pat has a huge zit and looks like a much fatter Steve Bannon. It’s just perfect.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

"NooOOOo, child. I do not 'talk really gay'. You'll be going to jail soon, stalker. YeeeeesSSS."

 

[I Can Smell My Balls]

The report included a screenshot made by a troll and credited it as one of Patrick’s “Legal avenues to defend himself”
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How is this possible? Did anyone involved in the production of this story read anything? Maybe this story was them finally giving in to fat, because there's no way he hasn't been contacting every media outlet he could find this entire time. Yet another case of normal people being too polite to call this pig a big fat retard and instead playing along. Sad!

Spoiler

And fat!

 

[John Andrews Stan]

The report included a screenshot made by a troll and credited it as one of Patrick’s “Legal avenues to defend himself”
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This is an amazing and so far woefully underappreciated trolling maneuver. Don’t sleep on this one, stalkers.

 

[beautiful person]

Why is his head so disproportionately huge? His body is flabby and out of shape but his head almost looks like it belongs on a deathfat. Is it the physical manifestation of ego?

 

[Meat Target]

I love how they conviently left out Norm Macdonald's name, because anyone with a brain cell will know he fucking deserves to be mocked for shitting on Norm MacDonald. I also love how they very conveniently left out the audio of him berating the shit out of a female police officer whose only sin was trying to wrap her head around the years of bullshit that she until an hour prior to his detainment had no idea had been going on. Seethe harder, Fatrick, because your local news station is probably going to get a few emails soon.

They'd also find out that Norm the Great himself called Pat a fat loser.

 

[Akashic Retard]

kek I also like how the reporter is in a suit too big and pat is squeezed into clothes too small.

Buying new clothes to compensate for my minimal beer and brat weight gain would be admitting defeat, something I never do, child. That’s for you to do when prison comes knocking on your door. Prison, child.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

Dumb pig should have had this story published yesterday, then we really could have celebrated 1000 pages in style.

No, see, we had to earn the "1000 Pages" achievement to unlock this feature.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Credit to Kim_Jong_Poon:

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I don't know if I'm making things up in my head, but there have been a few times now where I've noticed Pat's eyes look fucked up, and I don't mean just from his obvious 65 IQ.

A lot of times he takes pictures in bright environments so it's tough to tell, but it looks like even at normal light levels his pupils don't look quite right. Is Patty on drugs, aside from just drinking too much? Is that why he seems to be physically falling apart in real time? Is it possible he's stealing his wife's pills, maybe?

It's a common accusation, but to be fair lolcows like abusing narcotics because they lead purposeless existences and the ego reinforcing effects help to quell that nagging sense that they're a laughingstock who nobody likes.

 

[Akashic Retard]

I don't know if I'm making things up in my head, but there have been a few times now where I've noticed Pat's eyes look fucked up, and I don't mean just from his obvious 65 IQ.

A lot of times he takes pictures in bright environments so it's tough to tell, but it looks like even at normal light levels his pupils don't look quite right. Is Patty on drugs, aside from just drinking too much? Is that why he seems to be physically falling apart in real time? Is it possible he's stealing his wife's pills, maybe?

It's a common accusation, but to be fair lolcows like abusing narcotics because they lead purposeless existences and the ego reinforcing effects help to quell that nagging sense that they're a laughingstock who nobody likes.

Nystagmus can be caused by stimulant usage. Fat taking adderal or something similar would make sense, it makes you post and blab constantly. He's also sweating. That could just be because he's extremely fat.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

The guy who swatted Patrick is a fucking retard and I hope they got to prison. Not just because its justice, but also having a W would get Rick confident enough to do something else stupid and it would be really, really funny.

God. I'm an asshole too. But I don't swat people.

 

[TollBoothWilly]

He really does know how to make an impression. That torque wheeler is one suave motherfucker.

 

[Satan McAllister]

I don't know why he's bragging about it leading the evening news.

Who the fuck watches the 5/6 PM news anymore? Everyone is in traffic, getting shitfaced at a happy hour, or eating dinner.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I don't know why he's bragging about it leading the evening news.

Who the fuck watches the 5/6 PM news anymore? Everyone is in traffic, getting shitfaced at a happy hour, or eating dinner.

Because Pat is the thirstiest bitch on the planet. TV of any kind makes him feel important like a big boy.

Whereas in realty he’s worthless like a fat boy.

 

[W00K #17]

"Do you have anything to declare?"
"No, child, I do not."
"...Bubba, take him out back and do a full body cavity search."


Edit so I don't doublepost:

Frog man laughs at pig man:
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I've always wanted someone with more followers than him to say "hush now, 49k followers nobody, the adults are talking now".