Incel and Lonely Men Debate thread - Defend men giving up or tell them otherwise

I should clarify it isn't a major tilt, but the fact of the matter is that men are still expected to retain the positive qualities of their masculinity while getting rid of their negative ones. Men and women have achieved effective parity in terms of pay, but a lot of women still expect the man to bear the financial burden of the relationship.
The balance of power was never equal in the genders. They simply were at equilibrium, now that the new "normal"(online dating, etc) has not yet been properly settled down, you will have dissents simply because there is not a consistent understanding of where this balance is.
It will take time for this disruption to equalize.

Is being voluntarily celibate even a socially acceptable thing in the US anymore? Pretty sure people would give a guy a lot of shit if he's not trying imho.
 
I should clarify it isn't a major tilt, but the fact of the matter is that men are still expected to retain the positive qualities of their masculinity while getting rid of their negative ones. Men and women have achieved effective parity in terms of pay, but a lot of women still expect the man to bear the financial burden of the relationship. Shouldn't these kinds of expectations die off in a society where men and women are equal? Why is it that we elevate femininity and pick and choose the bits we like of masculinity and discard everything else as toxic?

[...]

I don't see why this line of thinking is absurd. It applies on a fundamental, natural level. Males in most species have to compete with other males to earn the right to mate with a female. Humans are animals too, and much of our core animal programming hasn't changed, its just adapted to civilized life.
Not trying to be offensive, but I'm well aware of everything you meant.

What you're saying is absurd because why are you comparing men who are seeking to be the dominant party in relationships, to women submitting themselves to men?
You're acknowledging the roles of men and women are completely different, it involves different processes and emotions.

As such, why would someone be frustrated that it's "easier" when what they're seeking, the emotions involved, and the significance of it, are two completely different things?

In terms of getting rid of the negative traits of your masculinity, how so? I'm expressing masculinity right now by using aggressive verbage, when I go into public I'm expressing masculinity by confidently going about my business. If you're using tools and hurt yourself women will dote over you.
Which "masculine" traits are negative, to act like a fucking mentally retarded sex pest? Then yeah, if you do that you're a rat, going back through history there were a lot of periods where women were considered the ones with little self control while the men were supposed to be the virtuous ones who were preoccupied with duty.

If we were to actually tally it all up, I don't think your argument works, either. Our primitive male monkey brains place far too much value on a woman's physical traits. A lot of it comes down to genetics, some of it is work. A woman's value derives from her genetics much more so than a man's. It's not like we chose who we were born to. Is this something we should just ignore in the day in age when everyone is obsessed with talking about oppression and social justice? Where's the social justice in that?
I think perhaps you're misconstruing what I'm saying, I'm talking in a utilitarian sense.

Ok, let's say right now, for everyone in this thread: so I'm sitting here in boxers and an undershirt and a cute girl appears in my house and says "Hi are you single?". What then? Tell me in objective, not vague, terms how this will play out and what anyone in this thread plans to do with this girl if she agrees to date you. What part of your monkey brain are you satisfying?

When I meet a woman who I think is attractive and who I get along with, I want to be able to provide security and comfort to her. I want her to look to me. I cannot guarantee any of that, so I cannot have a satisfying relationship, especially because the more attached I get to her the more I care about her well being and the more it will bother me.

If you're a broke friendless shut in, WHY DO YOU WANT A GIRLFRIEND?

Pretty sure people would give a guy a lot of shit if he's not trying imho.
That's absurd. You niggers have some twisted ass brains, dude.

If he's not trying to what, stick his dick in her, just for the sake of it, even if the sex is really mediocre and both people would've probably been as happy getting themselves off? Most incels probably don't even know what a clitoris is, it's not like she's getting anything out of it.

Novel concept, but you can frequently interact positively and even affectionately with women, you can both clearly know you're attracted to each other, and still accept there's no reason to go further; you could both know maybe if the situation was right you would, but it's ok if it doesn't. If you're a man and you give women you meet attention it makes them feel nice, it's nice they enjoyed it, why can't it be left at that? What more are you gaining from tunnel vision on sex specifically?

If someone wants it and it's in the right context then certainly bang them, but men are supposed to have other things to think about and focus on.
 
Last edited:
The balance of power was never equal in the genders. They simply were at equilibrium, now that the new "normal"(online dating, etc) has not yet been properly settled down, you will have dissents simply because there is not a consistent understanding of where this balance is.
It will take time for this disruption to equalize.
I agree, and I think I mentioned this in my earlier post. I think that post the CRA of 1964 was the point in time when that equilibrium was optimal. We are now at a point of disequilibrium where if we aggregate all the properties of the dating market, women have far more of un upper hand overall then they had before.
There is no denying that women have always been the gatekeepers of relationships and sex, and that's ok and normal. Nobody should be getting surprised or pissy about this. The issue I see personally is that more and more women are selecting against their own long-term interests and fucking up the situation for a lot of people in the process.
This disruption will probably resolve itself, but it takes time, as you said. I'm curious how long it'll take and how that's going to reflect on the population of both men and women though.

Ok, let's say right now, for everyone in this thread: so I'm sitting here in boxers and an undershirt and a cute girl appears in my house and says "Hi are you single?". What then? Tell me in objective, not vague, terms how this will play out and what anyone in this thread plans to do with this girl if she agrees to date you. What part of your monkey brain are you satisfying?
How old are you? I promise its pertinent.

I'll bite, but let's use a different scenario, because the one you posed is pretty weird to respond to.
You go on a date with a woman. It's going well, but she says something you disagree with. You have the choice of saying something about it or keeping quiet to not stir the pot.
The way I see it, if you refuse to engage, you're being a coward. You don't want to stir the pot because you want the evening to end as ideally as possible.
Engaging respectfully is the masculine thing to do.
We live in a very polarizing time in general, but it's especially relevant when it comes to dating. Disagreeing with a woman on certain things is a great way to ensure there isn't a second date. Certain things that were fine in the social
Dating and relationships aren't about sex, by the way. I don't think men should talk to women just because they want sex. Sex happens when both parties want it to happen, and going in with only a sexual motivation into a date with a woman is an example of being a monkeybrain.
Being a monkeybrain leads a man to consider nothing other than the looks of a woman and only being interested in sex. Many women with nothing to offer but their looks then begin to overvalue themselves both on the dating market and off it.
As such, why would someone be frustrated that it's "easier" when what they're seeking, the emotions involved, and the significance of it, are two completely different things?
The woman's role that you're describing is fine. What is not fine is that women's standards on average have outpaced reality and an entire dating market of coombrains have matched this delusion. Look at the amount of coombrain retards who buy OF subscriptions.

I don't generally like MRA/manosphere types, but I think some of the content they put out about dating is a good example of what I'm talking about.
 
@gang weeder I don't talk politics with women generally. I try to get a rapport going and get to know them but usually end up blocked sooner or later, even if I thought things were going alright.
They can sense your thirst, women run when they think men are desperate. It's evolutionary; the most fucked up dudes are the most desperate ones, the most desperate ones are the ones who are going to skin her alive if she's willing to trust them. The mothers of the trusting girls who would not have blocked your creepy incel butt got murdered by Bundy in '75 because they were willing to help a stranger load deck furniture into a windowless van. Simple natural selection at work.
Nigger there are no women to date where I live. You think I'd willingly subject myself to this shit if that were the case?
Case in point lmao
This is both true and it isn't. Incels are actually pretty common in human societies, or at least not uncommon:

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/through-history-more-women-have-reproduced-men-180952840/

The reasons for this are well known and incels are largely correct about them i.e. women are hypergamous, and it's easy for one high status man to occupy multiple women while the opposite is basically unheard of. Modern dating culture facilitates this by giving women infinite options and teaching them to de-value family/having kids, so many of them feel little incentive to settle before hitting the wall, and some won't settle even then and will turn into cat ladies or whatever. Feminism has undeniably made dating much more difficult for the average man.
There's a much less tortured reason women reproduce more often than men; they have to put in way more energy/time/opportunity cost to have them. Once a man knocks some bitch up he can just move on to another, but that girl's stuck with the risk of the pregnancy. This is why women are commodities, at least in the evo psych sense. A woman who isn't back-to-back pregnant is an underutilized resource for the tribe, some incel loafing around the cave is just a useless mouth.
 
  • Mad at the Internet
Reactions: Flaming Insignias
I agree, and I think I mentioned this in my earlier post. I think that post the CRA of 1964 was the point in time when that equilibrium was optimal. We are now at a point of disequilibrium where if we aggregate all the properties of the dating market, women have far more of un upper hand overall then they had before.
There is no denying that women have always been the gatekeepers of relationships and sex, and that's ok and normal. Nobody should be getting surprised or pissy about this. The issue I see personally is that more and more women are selecting against their own long-term interests and fucking up the situation for a lot of people in the process.
This disruption will probably resolve itself, but it takes time, as you said. I'm curious how long it'll take and how that's going to reflect on the population of both men and women though.


How old are you? I promise its pertinent.

I'll bite, but let's use a different scenario, because the one you posed is pretty weird to respond to.
You go on a date with a woman. It's going well, but she says something you disagree with. You have the choice of saying something about it or keeping quiet to not stir the pot.
The way I see it, if you refuse to engage, you're being a coward. You don't want to stir the pot because you want the evening to end as ideally as possible.
Engaging respectfully is the masculine thing to do.
We live in a very polarizing time in general, but it's especially relevant when it comes to dating. Disagreeing with a woman on certain things is a great way to ensure there isn't a second date. Certain things that were fine in the social
Dating and relationships aren't about sex, by the way. I don't think men should talk to women just because they want sex. Sex happens when both parties want it to happen, and going in with only a sexual motivation into a date with a woman is an example of being a monkeybrain.
Being a monkeybrain leads a man to consider nothing other than the looks of a woman and only being interested in sex. Many women with nothing to offer but their looks then begin to overvalue themselves both on the dating market and off it.

The woman's role that you're describing is fine. What is not fine is that women's standards on average have outpaced reality and an entire dating market of coombrains have matched this delusion. Look at the amount of coombrain retards who buy OF subscriptions.

I don't generally like MRA/manosphere types, but I think some of the content they put out about dating is a good example of what I'm talking about.
This sounds exhausting. This also reminds me I need to upgrade my porn hard drive.
 
I agree, and I think I mentioned this in my earlier post. I think that post the CRA of 1964 was the point in time when that equilibrium was optimal. We are now at a point of disequilibrium where if we aggregate all the properties of the dating market, women have far more of un upper hand overall then they had before.
There is no denying that women have always been the gatekeepers of relationships and sex, and that's ok and normal. Nobody should be getting surprised or pissy about this. The issue I see personally is that more and more women are selecting against their own long-term interests and fucking up the situation for a lot of people in the process.
This disruption will probably resolve itself, but it takes time, as you said. I'm curious how long it'll take and how that's going to reflect on the population of both men and women though.


.....

The woman's role that you're describing is fine. What is not fine is that women's standards on average have outpaced reality and an entire dating market of coombrains have matched this delusion. Look at the amount of coombrain retards who buy OF subscriptions.

I don't generally like MRA/manosphere types, but I think some of the content they put out about dating is a good example of what I'm talking about.

This is the main issue, women's standards and what women desire has changed dramatically over the past number of generations. 100+ years ago, before and during 1st wave feminism, a major, perhaps the primary, consideration of women when looking for a mate was whether he would be a good provider. Is he a hard worker? Does he have a good job? Can he provide the lifestyle that I am accustomed to for myself and our children in the future? This was a primary consideration because most women simply could not get good jobs back then. They could be a schoolteacher or a nurse, maybe a secretary, and that was about it. Any other job was like a housecleaner or domestic labor/nanny. There just weren' t a lot of options for single women to earn enough money to live on their own, plus the norms of the time meant that women wanting to buy property or automobiles needed either a husband or father to approve or co-sign for them or else banks wouldn't give loans.

Obviously women still care about money, but it's just not as big of a concern as it was, especially with the rise of welfare programs in the 1930s and 40s and then even moreso after the 60s into the 70s. The changing divorce laws are also a big reason as well.

Without ranting about various social changes, women now are primarily interested in physical attractiveness and sexual ability. That doesn't mean they weren't interested in that in centuries past, it's just that back then, only women of a certain class were able to focus on that, usually the very poor or the very rich. Beforehand sex just didn't matter as much. I mean, up until the mid 20th century, it was a point of debate whether a female orgasm actually existed or not. Even then it was believed that sex was primarily for reproduction. For years there were jokes on jokes on jokes about how men always wanted sex and girlfriends or wives just wouldn't put out. Like, that was a common trope of nearly every movie and sitcom that dealt with adult relationships. Now it's almost the opposite, nearly every man will say that women have higher sex drives, and men often feel like they can't get a moment to themselves because their girlfriends want to fuck all of the time. It's a common trope.

This has implications for the future which are profound. I really can't tell if the people laughing at incels are trolls or if they just don't realize how bad things can get. One route we could go down is that of polygamous middle eastern and african societies, where young single men (in their case usually poor, since over their the polygamy is moreso based on money than looks or sexual prowess) are recruited into extremist organizations promising them plenty of sex....in the afterlife (or in the case of ISIS, actual sex slaves and concubines). These men are so hopeless they have no problem strapping a bomb to their chest and using it to kill enemies. One could say we're already in the midst of this happening here, it's just without any actual political extremist organizations, people turn to random violence like school shootings to express their hatred for society.

The other implication is that sexual dimorphism will increase, and plenty of normal, above average IQ guys will simply never reproduce because they happen to be short or socially awkward in some manner. The men who do reproduce will be tall, lower IQ, and physically stronger. What this means is that we may see successive generations in the future that resemble brutes more than nerds, which will likely lead to a decline in technological ability, and a regression of society to a more primitive state.

The other implication is that before it gets that bad, extremist political movements will take over which promise to correct for the dating and gender disparities. This will also likely lead to an erosion of civil rights and an increase in violence in the short term.

None of the above three outcomes are good, all of them are bad. Everyone should want to avoid this as much as possible. But people aren't dating for life anymore. They're dating for short term flings and physical pleasure. There are exceptions of course and there are still plenty of normal people thankfully but I don't think they're really a majority anymore. As I mentioned earlier in the thread, it blows my mind how many successful guys I know who just have a lot of trouble attracting women, even though they did not have such trouble even a decade ago. Tinder and the explosion of online dating has really changed things a great deal. Before Tinder, online dating was primarily seen as something that lonely people did, for lack of a better term. It wasn't used by a majority of people, but if you had trouble dating irl, you'd make an OKcupid or Match.com profile. Now it is the opposite, everyone is on Tinder and Bumble and such apps. The only people not on those apps are those who are in long term committed relationships.

It's to the point that among some groups of people, just trying to flirt in real life at a bar or in public somewhere is borderline sexual assault, and the man has to wait for the woman to signal interest before he is allowed to flirt without fear of repercussions. Men used to fear rejection, but you could get over that. Now men fear social ostracization and potentially legal issues if they try to flirt with or approach a woman in a way that makes her uncomfortable.

Personally I am of the belief that we are in the end stage for this era of civilization and that we will suffer a series of ever worsening catastrophes which will make moot a lot of these points. Like, if we have WWIII and the internet ceases to exist, online dating really won't be much of an issue anymore
 
The one idea, adhered to by anyone, that indicates psychic solidarity with the mass of autistic and hopeless incels who stalk the backwaters of the internets darkest and most depraved swampland, hoping to cast off their own filthy souls into some unfortunate passerby, like a permanently erect, masturbating and weeping werewolf, is the insistence that one should start first with effecting change in the externalities of ones own life through personal insight brought about by anything, oh, absolutely anything, other than personal experience; economic systems, public institutions, corporate policies, laws governing sexual selection, social maxims, etc., are only to be approached in isolation and through pure deductive theory. Never through an actual encounter. Never through a submission to their conditions of entry. Too troublesome, you all say?

None of you ever seek inwardly for the parts of yourselves that could be sacrificed, so as to achieve authentic and internal change. These discussions always orbit around what you could do if only you weren't oppressed by something outside of your control. It's pure slave mentality.

What could you change, or sacrifice, about yourselves that is weak, and unsuited for success? What would you sacrifice? Will you? In my experience it is always the hermit who is all too eager to outstretch his hand to anyone he meets, and with no taste. Why else would you be here?
 
The one idea, adhered to by anyone, that indicates psychic solidarity with the mass of autistic and hopeless incels who stalk the backwaters of the internets darkest and most depraved swampland, hoping to cast off their own filthy souls into some unfortunate passerby, like a permanently erect, masturbating and weeping werewolf, is the insistence that one should start first with effecting change in the externalities of ones own life through personal insight brought about by anything, oh, absolutely anything, other than personal experience; economic systems, public institutions, corporate policies, laws governing sexual selection, social maxims, etc., are only to be approached in isolation and through pure deductive theory. Never through an actual encounter. Never through a submission to their conditions of entry. Too troublesome, you all say?

None of you ever seek inwardly for the parts of yourselves that could be sacrificed, so as to achieve authentic and internal change. These discussions always orbit around what you could do if only you weren't oppressed by something outside of your control. It's pure slave mentality.

What could you change, or sacrifice, about yourselves that is weak, and unsuited for success? What would you sacrifice? Will you? In my experience it is always the hermit who is all too eager to outstretch his hand to anyone he meets, and with no taste. Why else would you be here?
I agree with you but Jesus Christ you need to put down the thesaurus man.
 
It’s not your looks bro it’s your repulsive ideology that’s driving the chicks off. You need therapy.
Both. I happen to know several incels irl and they all share three key main traits. And what is more, they are totally unwilling to change a thing about them either prefer living as they are and dreaming of some mommy gurl who will appear out of nowhere or whining about "womin bad".

1) Looks. They are either fat or gaunt, with no attempt to attend gym at least once a week and strong aversion to any kind of physical activity. The same pair of jeans and shirt everyday. People like looking at other attaractive people (if they are not on KF lol), that simple truth just doesn't occur to them.

2) Fixation on one topic bordering with autism. Almost all of them are fixed on some autistic shit, like WH40k, poltardism, anime, IT, the history of WWII, battleships, or whatever. Having a hobby of interest is great but being unable to speak about anything other than your fixation sucks.

3) Desperation. When a random woman appears and happens to be mildly polite they become desperatly attached. I personally know one guy who was that pathetic that he called at nights to some girl who has never been his GF and whined how he is going to kill himself because no chick wanna dates him. The girl was his collegue who had a carelessness to smile at him.
 
Guys will bitch and moan about hypergamy or whatever general issues they have with women without even the most basic attempt to be attractive,
If a man is not, or has not ever in his life been in good physical condition ie. physique, hygiene and general cleanness like not wearing shitty worn out shirts with holes or having a terrible fashion sense and he is bitching,
I think it shows that the cause of his problems is a deeper psycological one.
One thing Ive picked up talking to these sorts of people is they see women as so much different to themselves or other men in general, like they're a completely different creature. i realy dont think we are that different all things considered. they dont understand that all inter-personal relationships(not just romantic ones) are a two way street ya gotta put in some effort.

If i was in your position i would start here:

- Get fit, it is your responsibility to be in good phisical condition, no one will take you serioyusly with a gunt and man tiddies, theres a whole board for health and fitness go there and read some threads and engage, fitness is about knowledge as much as it is about training+nutrition
- Get a clean haircut and make it short and shave your horrible scraggly beard. it is not cool or manly it is gross. present as a respectable individual, dont project your tism onto your outward apperance
- youre probably very poorly socialised, so you need to focus on building social skills with other men before trying to attract a partner.

Its all about attitude try to be positive and an enjoyable person to be around.

Id recomend that if you live near a polytech or some other terteary education you shoud sign up for a 1 semester entry level course(IN PERSON), alot of them are govemend funded so you wont have to pay, It forces you into a social situation and gives an opertunity to just practice socialising and building routiene and working on projects, it dosent even matter if you fail the course,

Heres a whitepill for ya:
You only need to attract 1 partner in your entire lifetime to be reproductivly successful and have a forfilling relationship, Dont compare yourself to chad, youre not even playing the same game youre not even competing for the same girls, chad isnt a bad guy give him a chance maybe tell him about your interest in fitness im sure he has some knowledge he'd be happy to share with you.

idk...
:3
 
The ''pill'' subreddit's are hilarious. Redpill, bluepill, purplepill etc... their mental process of denial is impressive. They use every excuse in the world as to why they can't find a woman but never talk about ''their problem''. The general consensus is that there's something wrong with women these days. That is how they justify their rejection.

They never want to take a long hard look in the mirror and see their own physical flaws. Like other people have mentioned some of those flaws could be improved with visiting a gym, healthy eating, hygiene, a good hair cut, better clothes and improvement of social skills. Obviously some things like a horrible bone structure, bad features and recalcitrant Autistic traits can't be changed but there are still so many things that could be changed for the better improving the chances of getting a romantic partner.

The fact is looks count. This is just how things are. Most women know this and put effort into their appearance.
 
- Get fit, it is your responsibility to be in good phisical condition, no one will take you serioyusly with a gunt and man tiddies, theres a whole board for health and fitness go there and read some threads and engage, fitness is about knowledge as much as it is about training+nutrition
- Get a clean haircut and make it short and shave your horrible scraggly beard. it is not cool or manly it is gross. present as a respectable individual, dont project your tism onto your outward apperance
- youre probably very poorly socialised, so you need to focus on building social skills with other men before trying to attract a partner.
Honestly, if you're just going after an average looking girl the only one that really matters is the last one. I'm not saying every average looking girl will like you, but if you're not poorly socialized you won't have trouble finding a girl who likes you. That is as long as you're not hideously deformed and people can't smell you before you come around the corner.

There are plenty of girls who like big fat hairy men, but if you can't talk about anything other than anime you're toast.
 
Honestly, if you're just going after an average looking girl the only one that really matters is the last one. I'm not saying every average looking girl will like you, but if you're not poorly socialized you won't have trouble finding a girl who likes you. That is as long as you're not hideously deformed and people can't smell you before you come around the corner.

There are plenty of girls who like big fat hairy men, but if you can't talk about anything other than anime you're toast.
This is probably the most sensible advice for any unironic incel or lonley dude: get normalish hobbies and use them to meet other people and socialize with them in an environment you are comfortable in. Don't sperg out about anime or metal or some shit but if you meet a girl that way, talk about her interests and find some common ground both of you share. That can lead to deeper more meaningful conversations.


The ''pill'' subreddit's are hilarious. Redpill, bluepill, purplepill etc... their mental process of denial is impressive. They use every excuse in the world as to why they can't find a woman but never talk about ''their problem''. The general consensus is that there's something wrong with women these days. That is how they justify their rejection.

They never want to take a long hard look in the mirror and see their own physical flaws. Like other people have mentioned some of those flaws could be improved with visiting a gym, healthy eating, hygiene, a good hair cut, better clothes and improvement of social skills. Obviously some things like a horrible bone structure, bad features and recalcitrant Autistic traits can't be changed but there are still so many things that could be changed for the better improving the chances of getting a romantic partner.

The fact is looks count. This is just how things are. Most women know this and put effort into their appearance.
Men are more visual when it comes to mating. That's not even a meme, it's a biological fact. That's why Playboy sells loads of magazines to straight men and Playgirl is bought up by gay men, not women. I feel like a lot of people overestimate the appearance of innate looks (not appearance things a man is in control of like hygiene, fashion sense etc.) when it comes to women and think they think like men. Women know how to attract men, they don't think like them unless they are unironic thots.
 
Last edited:
Back