Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[CowPox]

I think he just wants out and every bender to him is just a roll of the dice where he either blacks out and forgets his pain for awhile or blacks out and never wakes up.

 

[Bixby Snyder]

Bam gets crazy women pregnant
He can afford child support

If anything will put him into the poor house that will. Watch a YouTuber who talks about how celebrities go broke and that’s number one reason.

He may make couple million a year now, so judge says you need to fork over 100k a year for your baby mama. Fast forward few years and he now is living off maybe a million or so, or even less if really fucked up. But guess what? He still has to fork over 100K a year for that kid regardless of his income.

It’s easy for him to make money but it’s obvious he’s less famous for his movies and skateboarding and more his very pubic breakdown — and that will dry up revenue streams.

With his immaturity, Bam wouldn’t survive hitting rock bottom

 

[epic guy]

If anything will put him into the poor house that will. Watch a YouTuber who talks about how celebrities go broke and that’s number one reason.

He may make couple million a year now, so judge says you need to fork over 100k a year for your baby mama. Fast forward few years and he now is living off maybe a million or so, or even less if really fucked up. But guess what? He still has to fork over 100K a year for that kid regardless of his income.

It’s easy for him to make money but it’s obvious he’s less famous for his movies and skateboarding and more his very pubic breakdown — and that will dry up revenue streams.

Good point about the revenue drying up. That does seem like the most likely scenario to sink him.

If you noticed in the Steve-O interview, Steve-O tried to get him to promote a new comedy show he's been "working on". Bam could barely stumble his way through two sentences of promotion without going on tangents about Danny Way, T-Shirts, and Tech Decks. If he was able to market himself in the past, that talent is long gone.

 

[Nicest Person on a Honda]

He may make couple million a year now, so judge says you need to fork over 100k a year for your baby mama. Fast forward few years and he now is living off maybe a million or so, or even less if really fucked up. But guess what? He still has to fork over 100K a year for that kid regardless of his income.

This is a common misconception about child support. You can file for an adjustment. In some states it is actually based off of a percentage of your last couple of years income. Bam wouldn't be the first person with an adjustable income to have to face child support. Many states cap it at a certain percent of your income, I think Alabama (just as an example) caps it at 25% of your income. New York does the same but it is per child, unless you have an insane amount of kids (5+) it stays capped at between 25-31% of your yearly income.
Just because you made $5M the year that you won the lottery, that does not mean your CS is automatically going to be a percentage from that one good income year for every year thereafter in perpetuity.

That being said, I think that, like all drug addicts, he will blow as much as he can on substances.

 

[Burd Turglar]

Bam is absolutely not raking in millions anymore lol. Luckily, his parents have control over most of his money and wisely invested it. Well, there's no telling with where the economy is RN but yeah, he doesn't control much outside of his "allowance".

 

[Yeeted Teet]

As people were mentioning earlier, Bam will never hit rock bottom the same way Lowtax did.

>Bam gets crazy women pregnant
He can afford child support
>Bam gets hooked on pills
He can afford endless rehab

He just has too many resources to end up like Lowtax. I do, however, think that he will kill himself inadvertently. It's easier than you think to die from just a simple fall. Add on top of that the brain damage from drinking and drugs, along with the fragility that comes with age. I do believe he will kill himself in the next couple years, just not purposefully.

Never underestimate what people like Bam might do during a melodramatic “I’ll show them” meltdown. It wouldn’t be the first time for someone make a half hearted attempt as s manipulation tactic and accidentally take it too far.

 

[Rekkington]

Good point about the revenue drying up. That does seem like the most likely scenario to sink him.

If you noticed in the Steve-O interview, Steve-O tried to get him to promote a new comedy show he's been "working on". Bam could barely stumble his way through two sentences of promotion without going on tangents about Danny Way, T-Shirts, and Tech Decks. If he was able to market himself in the past, that talent is long gone.

When I read the comments, aside from the completely delusional "praying for Bam to keep working the steps!" the rest is all about how they miss old Bam, how Bam is still funny when he wants to be, and how they wish Bam could get back to telling jokes. Bam was never funny. Never once in that interview was Bam funny, his jokes are lame, his stories suck, at no point in his life could he string together a story.

I wish there was more footage of his one-man shows, there's no way this dude can put together an anecdote for a crowd. Not only because he's just a dumb narcissist who just uses stories as a vehicle to namedrop, but because alcoholics rarely have good stories. Everything involves getting trashed at a bar, maybe a high point is fucking a very diseased disaster of a woman, but just look at him now: most of his stories probably involve him rolling around on the ground by 7 PM and lashing out at everyone around him, and he's probably been like this the whole time. You know what drunks like him have, though? They have an endless supply of stories about how they were betrayed or fucked over. So even if he gets clean that's all he's gonna have, because the truth is Bam was always lame and boring. His entire character is ripping off Tom Green and liking the gayest band of all time. I never disliked Bam but I can't even begin to understand the people who let this guy define their teenage life.

 

[PointOfNoReturnPoint]

If anything will put him into the poor house that will. Watch a YouTuber who talks about how celebrities go broke and that’s number one reason.

He may make couple million a year now, so judge says you need to fork over 100k a year for your baby mama. Fast forward few years and he now is living off maybe a million or so, or even less if really fucked up. But guess what? He still has to fork over 100K a year for that kid regardless of his income.

It’s easy for him to make money but it’s obvious he’s less famous for his movies and skateboarding and more his very pubic breakdown — and that will dry up revenue streams.

With his immaturity, Bam wouldn’t survive hitting rock bottom

He does still sell alot of skateboards, although I think his parents are in control of that money now for his own safety.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Bam definitely has the "yeah, yeah" down of someone who's not listening to a damn word of what someone is saying.

Ah, the "husband yes"

ETA: It seems that what we're looking at here is an unsympathetic Amy Winehouse type. Enablers both social and financial (Phil unintentionally metes out his son's drug money in the form of what he thinks is liveing expenses), fame established in teenage years. Bam's never getting sober, he's just going to die.

I know many said the same of Steve-O, but remember that he would have had the upperclass mindset and ability to visualize a future success for himself. As a person from a similar background, I can confirm that we have a sort of ingrained but not explicit understanding that we are important and can succeed if we so desire. I don't know Steve-O, but his social status at birth and formal education do make him too different from Bam to properly compare the two.

 

[Law]

because alcoholics rarely have good stories

Yup.
"I got drunk, like really drunk, then I got drunk again" is never as riveting as they think it is.

 

[Bob_]

He does still sell alot of skateboards, although I think his parents are in control of that money now for his own safety.

Really? Would kids even know who this guy is, or is there a board collecting market similar to retards who collect sneakers buying his shit?

I just assume the majority of his income comes from royalties with some minor merch sales.

And I've always assumed the reason none of the cky crew associates with Bam anymore is because 1. He's an asshole and 2. He fucked them over on the royalty side of things.

 

[Rogowski]

I’m pretty sure Bam only has one source of income from skateboarding. They rarely release anything now considering it would be in poor taste but the graphics are exactly what you’d expect from an emotionally stunted 40-something who still wishes he was an edgy goth femmeboi with bulimia:


There is a collectors market for boards but serious collectors won’t worry about Bam’s decks unless it was a Toy Machine model from before he made it to MTV, the market is about rare runs of boards from companies that are rooted in the industry. Original models in good condition can pull in decent cash:

 

[PointOfNoReturnPoint]

Really? Would kids even know who this guy is, or is there a board collecting market similar to retards who collect sneakers buying his shit?

I just assume the majority of his income comes from royalties with some minor merch sales.

And I've always assumed the reason none of the cky crew associates with Bam anymore is because 1. He's an asshole and 2. He fucked them over on the royalty side of things.

They never really had much of anything to do with his royalties, to be completely fair he did have serious talent and marketability to get to where he was in the early 2000's. I am not a skater so i dont know currently where he/his image is at with the skateboard world but he did deserve his success when he got it...albeit he is the worst person for it ever. IF im not mistaken he does have his own business set up with element where they design boards themselves so he isn't actually doing it on his own anyway.

 

[Rogowski]

This update is mildly Bam related. Seeing as how Bam is behaving for the time being he’s going to be providing very little content until he manages to slip away from his oppressors so this involves the Free Bam movement.

BJ Courville, aka @thatsurpisewitness aka @bj.investigates is a YouTube personality who rose to prominence during the Free Britney movement, and after more recently latching onto the Bam situation she has been the leading voice of dissent against his family’s attempts to get him clean against his will.

I’ve mentioned in the past that she has a throbbing hate boner for Bam’s guardian Lima Jevremovic and she’s now being sued for libel and slander. Most people paying attention aren’t surprised by this as the Margeras have been dropping hints lately that this would happen.

BJ wasted no time starting a GFM to ask for 25K and since FreeBritney followers seemingly have piles of cash to burn she’s already raised close to 20K in 2-3 day’s time.

If you’re hoping I can tell you who’s in the right here I’m sorry to disappoint you because it appears to me that a snake oil salesman is suing a shameless YouTube grifter and I don’t give a fuck enough to delve deeper in to either of their backgrounds

 

[Socrates]

Fair. Though both would be considered Scandinavian. I don't listen to either so I don't care.


Somehow that design reminds me of a gynecology office logo or some shit.

Nordic. They're both Nordic. Scandi only covers up to Sweden. Not that it's a big deal, just something I didn't personally know up until very recently.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

I watched the Steve-O interview and I know it's older, but there's no way Bam was sober in that, and on top of it, he learned nothing from a year in rehab. Everything and everyone is the issue, not Bam himself. The whole "higher power" aspect of recovery isn't about being a Jesus freak, it's being honest and accountable for your actions and their consequences. Where he complained about his roommates (including using their names) was enough to make me MATI. The fucker was wearing the same piss soaked sweat pants for months on end, GTFO you poser.

 

[Nicest Person on a Honda]

Original models in good condition can pull in decent cash:

I will never understand the market for used skateboards. Skateboards are, by definition, meant to be ridden hard. The graphics are supposed to be against rails and shit like that. Trying to save the graphics of a skateboard always seemed like an odd task.
That being said, I don't ride anything without a motor so this is from the outside looking in

 

[Dr. Butt]

I will never understand the market for used skateboards. Skateboards are, by definition, meant to be ridden hard. The graphics are supposed to be against rails and shit like that. Trying to save the graphics of a skateboard always seemed like an odd task.
That being said, I don't ride anything without a motor so this is from the outside looking in

They're antiques for guys who don't read books.

 

[Big Nasty]

Fun fact:

The "Bitch" skateboards were originally a piss take on the "Girl" skateboards.

 

[Jeep1971]

If anything will put him into the poor house that will. Watch a YouTuber who talks about how celebrities go broke and that’s number one reason.

He may make couple million a year now, so judge says you need to fork over 100k a year for your baby mama. Fast forward few years and he now is living off maybe a million or so, or even less if really fucked up. But guess what? He still has to fork over 100K a year for that kid regardless of his income.

It’s easy for him to make money but it’s obvious he’s less famous for his movies and skateboarding and more his very pubic breakdown — and that will dry up revenue streams.

With his immaturity, Bam wouldn’t survive hitting rock bottom

for "pubic breakdown".