The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%
  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%
  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%
  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%
  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%
  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%
  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%
  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%
  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%
  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%
  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%
  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%

  • Total voters
    2,258
Well I suffered through ten minutes of Penny's ramblings, but it was interesting to see the condition of the herd. I've attached seven screenshots of alpaca I would score as underweight.
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The condition of the female herd seems worse. likely because it is larger but fed the same amount. Even if they are being fed more often to make up for it the space surrounding a single bale isn't enough for the whole herd so the weaker animals are bullied off the food (a natural response of herd animals, they don't want to waste resources on the most likely to be taken by predators).

I will once again uselessly advise that they buy any kind of animal feeder, as it will improve feed access and reduce feed waste. I'm sure in the last year the amount of hay spoiled by dumping it on the ground would be worth the cost of a brand new one.

The herd count is easily a 100, maybe even 150. Penny says he gave them 4000 pounds of hay, four 1000 pound bales, but an alpaca only eats 3 pounds a day. Even giving an incredibly generous herd size of 200 that is still only 600 a day, almost a weeks worth of hay. It isn't clear how often Penny puts out bales, but he is likely wasting hundreds of pounds of feed. He should be feeding smaller amounts more often.

As before mentioned in the thread seeding more grass and grazing the herd is laughable in every way. They will have to kill a lot more alpacas for that to be realistic. One thing Penny is right about is that bale twine is very useful for nigger-rigging shit.
 
Rainbows but I hope someone on the Vice crew has enough sense to notice the condition of those alpacas.

A Tweet of their rented dirt and toys.
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Edit: I don’t know anything about Twitter analytics, are these engagement numbers bad? They seem low for as much exposure as they’ve gotten.
 
Rainbows but I hope someone on the Vice crew has enough sense to notice the condition of those alpacas.

A Tweet of their rented dirt and toys.
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Edit: I don’t know anything about Twitter analytics, are these engagement numbers bad? They seem low for as much exposure as they’ve gotten.

If Inverting Your Dick was a piece of land.
 
The begging continues:
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They started the GFM ten days ago... I have to wonder if the pipe is still broken, since they're certainly pushing the GFM as if it's still an emergency. I bet they got a plumber to fix it within the first couple days for like $300, and all of this spectacle is just pure grifting.
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The Tranch has a TikTok now... although the link is broken? I'm not sure how it'll be any different from Penny's already existing TikTok, since Penny seems to be the only Trancher who posts on the Tranch's social media accounts.
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The Tranchers join Keffals' lolcow crusade against the evil Kiwif*rms:
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The Tranch website has been down for more than a week, and Penny has finally acknowledged it. Somehow I doubt the excuse that it's because they're adding cool new features. :lol:
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They have a new Discord server available for people who donate to their Patreon:
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Penny is mad about some news article. Trans people are being erased!
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Oh wait a sec, what's this in the article's comments?
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Troons are always lying or framing their complaints in the most hysterical, disingenuous way. 🙄


Penny is going to set up a Youtube channel next month. If they really do make videos about firearm & medical training, then that should be pretty entertaining.
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Oh, and apparently the Tranch has another Twitter account: UnicornBattalion (@UnicornBNA2)
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So far the tweets are just copy/pasted tweets from the Tranch & Penny's twitter accounts. Hopefully we get more tacticool LARPing content, though!
 
Ah yes, the #LandBack hashtag.

That's how you know they're serious about the grift.

Someone should shoop a weeping Indian next to a starved alpaca and a pile of rocks.
"Oh great Manitou, look how these colon colonizers destroyed my ancestors' land! Look upon this desolation and weep, weep for us! Take pity upon these starving non-indigenous creatures and send the spirit of the Wolf to end their suffering! In your deepest wrath send the vengeful Wendigo-- no, sorry, they already have one of those here."
 
I know this is effectively a triple post but this article is great.

They went to a get-together at the house of a lesbian couple and the article documents the deterioration of a potential friendship in real time.

Maybe people don't have a problem with you because you're trans, maybe people have a problem with you because you show up to the kind of low-key social-cum-political event that is the staple of small-town social life and scare the hosts by saying that armed resistance is better than voting.

Apparently Fedposter J (who is only 28!) doesn't keep the fedposting behind closed doors. And you know they were visibly strapped the whole time, 'cause a 4th of July BBQ might turn into one of Earl's traps.

This line is just *chef's kiss*:

"Logue doesn't engage much with the Sentinel, which she sees as peddling hate. 'We're out here talking about building communities,' she said."
 
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theyre so scary and threaten us, but we dont read the thread

which is it?
dont you think if we were going to do something by now we would have?

i mean, aside from the one transformer i steal a week out of the storage bins.
 
I would like one of the "friends" who lurk our tranch fanclub to pass on my genuine gratitude to Miss Penny - that she has a dedicated "eating side" in her mouth filled me with such visceral horror that I scheduled a slightly overdue dental exam the next day. Now I have 28 clean teeth that can participate in eating for years to come 💖

(seriously tho even if you have to pay or take out a carecredit, go get it done. And floss daily! Carefully! I know teeth hygiene has been discussed quite a bit in this thread but it's always a good reminder. Don't be Penny)
 
Wait, where’s the part about how Earl(s) pissed himself/themselves, running off into the night? That was the best detail!

Also, Brosie out here rocking the bewbs & bulge.
 

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They're really upping the ante!
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wow a free erotica story from some troon! wow I wonder what his stories are like...
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Oh.

I guess it must be working, because they've broken $2k on the GFM. Also, Penny has another very important & informative update...!
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They've been pushing this GFM hard. Multiple tweets a day (not even counting all the retweets).
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Penny's also creepily taking pictures of some random person's @The Elusive Earl's property. 🙄
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Bah, Earl's property is not even a toxic barren wasteland! Proudly displaying his disgusting racist flags over his digusting racist grass!

/edit: That article is hilarious, btw. Really shows how they were going out of their way to piss off as many people as possible. Fedposter J going at it IRL is awesome.
 
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I know this is effectively a triple post but this article is great.

They went to a get-together at the house of a lesbian couple and the article documents the deterioration of a potential friendship in real time.

Maybe people don't have a problem with you because you're trans, maybe people have a problem with you because you show up to the kind of low-key social-cum-political event that is the staple of small-town social life and scare the hosts by saying that armed resistance is better than voting.

Apparently Fedposter J (who is only 28!) doesn't keep the fedposting behind closed doors. And you know they were visibly strapped the whole time, 'cause a 4th of July BBQ might turn into one of Earl's traps.

This line is just *chef's kiss*:

"Logue doesn't engage much with the Sentinel, which she sees as peddling hate. 'We're out here talking about building communities,' she said."
That bit is so funny it's worth quoting in full:

The 'Not July 4th' Party

When the ranchers arrive, a lesbian couple is adding the red, white, and blue icing to their middle-finger-shaped "fuck you" cookies. The couple, who recently moved back to Colorado after spending years living in New Zealand, has invited the members of the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch to their picturesque ranch to mark Independence Day in their own style.

There's a surplus of food; jalapeno beef burgers, pretzels and dip, and a cheese board. Guests are helping themselves to beers and making themselves cosmopolitan cocktails at a minibar in a renovated shack.

Inside, a blond woman with a beaming smile is sitting on a camping chair. A paper plate with cookies is balanced on one knee, and a political campaign leaflet, with her name in bold letters, rests on the other.

She introduces herself as Deb Adams, the chairperson of Custer County's tourism board. She says she's running for the Board of County Commissioners. "Is everyone here registered to vote?" she asks.

Stanley furrows her brow, not thrilled by the direction the night has taken them. How, she asks pointedly, would Adams differ from other politicians?

Adams is running as an unaffiliated candidate, she tells them. She rejects labels.

Adams settled in Colorado in 2009. Before that, she lived in Santa Barbara, California for 25 years. She supports the Second Amendment, as well as a "safe gun ownership" culture. She's unimpressed by both Biden and former President Donald Trump, saying that they are "too old" to run again. The Sentinel ("the voice of conservative Colorado") recently described her as a "really hard, hardcore lefty."


The conversation gets more animated as Stanley and Logue suggest to the room that perhaps armed resistance is more effective than voting. Wasn't Malcolm X more impactful than today's career politicians?

The debate peters out. Adams seems unfazed and continues to smile and socialize. (She later says she felt as though their reaction had been favorable.)

The Tenacious Unicorn ranchers step away and confer about where to go next. Stanley's mood has visibly soured, and she whispers to Logue that it's time to go home, rather than to the flag-burning party they'd originally planned to hit next.

"Not to worry, we can do that any day of the week," Logue says, while packing up her stuff.

As they drive their Ford Explorer back to the ranch, Stanley continues to lay out her disagreements with Logue.

"The system isn't working," she says, in part because politicians aren't made to say where they really stand on things. She says she doesn't trust the government to deal with the issues that worry her most — climate collapse, "trans genocide," a possible civil war, protecting people like her.

And carrying on with the dental theme, I'm sure the photographer is quietly taking the piss out of them as well "The creatures' teeth can grow quite long and typically require trimming for the animal to feed efficiently."

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And here's a quiet aside showing just how pathetic and useless they can be. That'll keep "The Fash" out.

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(And we've still got the Vice article to look forward to. Please let them have sent Ben Hunte out to do it.)

edit - a couple of other passages worth preserving for posterity:

There are huacaya, and suri alpacas, each with different types of fleece, which the ranchers shear and sell on to suppliers. It's not hugely profitable, but it keeps the ranch afloat. The ranchers also take on the odd construction job at nearby ranches, and sell meat and eggs to locals.

If anyone is coming here tipped off by Business Insider and that article, it's worth pointing out that this year they sold no (ZERO, NIL, NADA, ZILCH, NIENTE, RIEN, TIPOTA) fleece. They had it spun into rope and palmed it off on some unsuspecting native tribe. Thaty's why they're trying to get rid of their animals. Did you spot the new hustle to give them away?

Logue's hope is that self-sustaining, queer-inclusive communities like the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch will rise up around the nation.

"Our vision is having one of these ranches in every state, so that we can network with each other and make it possible for people with limited funds to get to them," she said.

They're in talks with some people in Texas that want to start one, Logue says, and there is a tentative plan for another in Oregon.

And right now, they're helping a group of indigenous queer people find land to buy in Arizona. Once they find an affordable property, the ranchers intend to co-sign on it, provide a herd of alpaca, and help them develop a detailed plan for success.

And I've no idea how a group of troons in the mountains of Colorado with expensive satellite internet and who can't afford to fill their truck with diesel can help people in Arizona find a plot of land to buy. But if they do find somewhere, they can have some free alpaca. They might even include a couple of still alive ones.
 
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