Best Zero Effort Food?

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I have not because my food processor sucks, but I would love to. Pistachio butter sounds amazing. Do you really not need any liquid, even with pistachios?
You can use a little, I didnt use any and it was a little thick but still serviceable. When you first start blending the nuts they'll look powdery at first but you keep blitzing them until they start to look like peanut butter.
Taking the nuts out the shells was definitely the longest part.
 
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boil kettle, pour.
 
airfried baked sweet taters
airfried weenies
airfried boiled eggs
airfried chicken breast, wings, legs, thighs
airfried veggies
airfried muffins (boxed)
airfried cookies (boxed or the dough tube)
airfried cinnamon rolls (boxed or the dough tube)
airfried garlic knots (pizza dough and garlic butter)

for even less clean up use a liner
 
When I was poor, after testing various methods, the best and most nutritious result i found was to find a soup can.

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Then buy a packet of microwave rice
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Microwave the rice. Put it in a bowl. Then dump the soup on top and mix it through. Everything should be a pleasant temperature ready to eat.
 
White rice and fried eggs, literally what could be cheaper and easier?

Or white rice with a can of tuna or a can of beans. I usually make a big pot of rice that lasts me like 3 meals. So i just heat it up and eat it with whatever.

Also liked a simple pasta with some garlic and olive oil and little pecorino. Then eat that with a pork chop on the side . Pretty retard proof, fast and easy.
 
Basic spaghetti.

No need for meat. Just use the jar sauce in a pot and add seasoning. Make pasta normally.
The sauce by itself with no meat or frying stuff actually tastes really different and good in its own way.
 
S'mores, just gotta put the marshmallow over the fire or in the oven for a few seconds.
Also the broccoli recipe @MerriedxReldnahc had gracefully bestowed upon the Food subforum: Cook the broccoli in oil, either on a grill, in the oven, or in a pan, until it begins to brown, then season with salt and lemon juice. Sure it's a little than zero effort but it tastes great and stupid easy to make. (I could be butchering how the recipe goes and I apologize immensely if i did. It's a mighty fine recipe thought.)
 
My favorite is a local and seasonal one: Thick slices of leftover ham served with store-bought beetroot salad and some strong mustard.
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Put it on some limpa and we're in business! The best part of christmas is all the leftovers.

A five minute minor effort food is couscous with whatever you have around. It takes less than five minutes to boil the appropriate amount of water, pour in the couscous, let it sit off the hot pan for five minutes. Chop whatever things you want for a couple of minutes and stir it in there. Add some hotsauce or soy, sriracha, ketjam, sambal on top if you want... Maybe sometimes you put half of it in a bowl, put a bit of butter or cheese on top, or either one and add fresh chopped garlic, then put the rest on top to make the bottom half different than the top layer. It's still done within ten minutes from starting.

It's a €.50 lunch that can be varied endlessly. As cheap as ramen but faster to make.
 
Leftovers in general are fantastic. If you live alone, a few doubled recipes can give you weeks worth of zero-effort food. Stagger them and throw in a few scratch meals so you don't get tired of reheated stuff and you can eat cheap and easy, especially if it's soup. I know a family that cooks only on weekends with this method.
 
"No more effort than a microwave", hmm...

Nissin's "Raoh" label Tonkatsu-flavored microwave ramen. My go-to instant noodle.

"Bar Harbor" brand New England style canned clam chowder. Often when I'm feeling the need for some zero-effort goodness, it's either late at night and I'm tired, the weather is shitty and I'm in a funk, or else I'm feeling sick. In any of those situations, some nice, warm, thick and hearty clam chowder hits the spot wonderfully, and Bar Habor is my favorite brand.

Hungry Man's "Mexican Fiesta" meal. It's terrible food, it all kinda congeals together... Don't care. It's generic tex-mex glop, and I for some reason love it.

Totino's pepperoni "Party Pizza". Again, I know it's crap. But it's vaguely pizza-flavored and you get enough to be satisfied in a pinch.
 
Pretty much any of the MTR bag meals, pajeet premade food keeps coming up in this thread for a reason.

I'm not vegan or vegetarian but I love every variation of beans and rice. Easiest one that tastes like you spent actual time on it is just a can of chickpeas drained and mixed with rice, garlic, a little butter or olive oil, pepper, and lemon juice if you have one on hand.

Crusty bread and goat cheese spread. Crusty bread and anything, really. Especially if you get cheap ham on the bone and can just hack a chunk off, cold smoky ham out of the fridge can't be beat.

I've been told it's disgusting but my favorite fast breakfast is a thick slice of ultra-grainy bread toasted with cottage cheese and pepper on top. Cottage cheese and fruit is nasty, but a little extra salt and some pepper (or savory spices) on it is awesome.

The Samyang hot noodles that fatty YouTube loves are also godly if you throw some canned fish or a runny egg into them, maybe a handful of frozen peas at the end to cool it down to eating temp faster. Don't be fooled by the pussies calling them a challenge food, the normal ones are only as hot as a shin cup. The curry flavor are pretty solid with leftover chicken too.
 
The Samyang hot noodles that fatty YouTube loves are also godly if you throw some canned fish or a runny egg into them, maybe a handful of frozen peas at the end to cool it down to eating temp faster. Don't be fooled by the pussies calling them a challenge food, the normal ones are only as hot as a shin cup. The curry flavor are pretty solid with leftover chicken too.
I'll have to try those Samyang out when I get a chance, I love adding an egg to a Shin cup and a bit of fish sauce. Also some habanero powder because those have the best flavor of any hot pepper IMO.

It's not as zero effort as the microwave since you have to wash your hands but if you have a gas oven - broiling. I put some sausages, seasoned burgers, etc. in there on low, turn them once and that's it. Remember to let them rest in the residual heat, it's 15 minutes for well done on both.
 
Totino's pepperoni "Party Pizza". Again, I know it's crap. But it's vaguely pizza-flavored and you get enough to be satisfied in a pinch.
Oh man, every few years I crave one of these like crazy. Can't say I hate them, it's a very distinctive fake taste though and that crust is... unique.
 
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