I don't. I'm trying to make the math easier.
You think the average woman has sex only 20 times in her life?
You think the average thrust is full tip to base?
You're making some weird assumptions here.
I agree with Penis. People are having way more sex than that. The average (at least among those who self-report) is closer to 50-something times a year, with younger couples having something like twice that much.
There are only select statistics and anecdotal evidence to go by when it comes to frequency of couples of having sex. And then you've got to remember that people tend to exaggerate about their sex life, says O’Reilly.
Data from the Kinsey Institute’s Sex, Reproduction and Gender research team discovered Americans who are in the 18 to 29 age category report having sex about 112 times a year (that equates to about twice a week). Couples age 30 to 39 admit to about 86 sex sessions per year. The frequency tends to dip slightly in adults older than that, but about 28 percent of people over 45 are still having sex about once weekly, according to the
Kinsey Institute.
But these are just the numbers people report. “Another way to put it, is that for Americans in relationships, the most commonly reported frequency is somewhere between three to four times per month,” O’Reilly says. That is almost equivalent to the University of Toronto research that claims that sex once a week equals happiness in your relationship—so maybe they have a point there.
Take the average lifespan of an American woman of 78, subtract 18 years to get 60 solid years of dicking, assume an average of maybe forty dickings a year (it tapers off towards the end of the lifespan, obviously), and you get 2,400 dickings. I think your 3,360 inches per encounter is an overestimate, though. Most thrusts are only halfway or two-thirds of the way from the base to the tip. Nobody retracts the full length of cock every single time. That's how you slip out. Let's assume they retract 70% of the way, for 2,352 inches per encounter.
That's 5,644,800 inches, or a solid 89.09 miles of dick.
This estimate is only true for couples, however. It does not apply to everyone. If we included how much casual sex singles were having, the average would probably be cut down by a lot. Apparently, 122 million Americans are single. That's about half of all adult Americans. Assuming they have no sex, or only trace amounts of sex, our estimate for the average number of dickings would likewise be cut in half. However, this is where things get complicated. More American men than women report having no sex. It's like 28% versus 18%, as of 2019, and the number of men not having sex is climbing sharply, which means there is a gender imbalance, which means the average is different for each sex:
This is actually a very difficult statistic to calculate correctly, but if you asked me to ballpark it, I'd say it's in the vicinity of 50 miles. On the other hand, that's assuming that all sex consists of putting it in, maintaining a consistent 40 thrusts per minute, and somehow managing to avoid orgasming in like five minutes. Nobody does this, ever. Sometimes, they'll do 40 to 70 thrusts per minute for about a minute, then taper down to 8 per minute, then speed back up again, then slow down, like a sine wave, the active partner pacing himself to avoid turning into a sweaty, rug-burned mess. The initial constants from which the 50 mile estimate is derived should be revised downward slightly to compensate. Apparently, the average number of thrusts per sexual encounter is around 300 or 400-something.
Humans have the longest, thickest, and most flexible penises of any living primate. The number of thrusts per sexual encounter ranges 10-500 over a span of 4-7 minutes before ejaculation. All this creates a vacuum in the female’s reproductive tract which removes the semen of other males. The Daily Beast also talked to author Jesse Bering of “
Why is the Penis Shaped Like That?” who explained that the “mushroom-shaped head [of the penis] is the critical feature defining sexuality and has been designed over the course of natural selection to remove the sperm cells of males that have had sex with that same female within about 48 hours,” the average lifespan of a human sperm cell. Chimp and bonobo penises are, instead, thin and conical. While they thrust (presumably for stimulation), the
average copulation is only 15 seconds in bonobos and 7 seconds in chimps.
The average number of thrusts before a male orgasm is achieved is something like 47 to 178 or so, with the lower end seen among premature ejaculation sufferers.
Still, none of these studies gets to the core of our concern — which is less interested in the length of time sex takes and more concerned with the number of thrusts it takes to ejaculate and how close that number comes (pun unavoidable) to the aforementioned 1,000. It’s a concern that
Yelpers in Calabasas also seem to share. “Did you know that during sex, men thrust an average of 60-120 times?” wrote one person on Yelp. Clinical sexologist
Sunny Rodgers tells me that she’s heard the same number. “That’s from entering the vagina to ejaculation,” she explains. According to
Gonzo Today, however, it’s a little less, or about 40 thrusts for the average man to ejaculate. On the higher end of things, over on
BodyBuilding.com, 33 percent of men self-reported that it takes them 200 plus thrusts to finish.
So how can we verify any of this?
Well, according to
Net Doctor, both partners tend to push forward at a rate of approximately once every 0.8 seconds. That means that men on average thrust 48 times per minute. And considering the median time for sex is 5.4 minutes, that means that the average number of thrusts it takes to ejaculate is closer to 260 humps or three different sessions of sex using the same self-lubricating condom.
RESULTS: Baseline characteristics were similar between two groups. The median SW-IELT was 47.6s vs 187.2s between PE patients and comparatives (p<0.001), and the median NITBE was 41.8 vs 152.4 (p<0.001). It's interesting that the average time of one thrust was similar (1.10.2 s/time vs 1.20.2 s/time, p>0.05) between the two groups.
As we can see from the disparity between the average number of thrusts per ejaculation and the average number of thrusts per encounter, guys don't just instantly stop humping just because they came. Very often, they'll keep thrusting for as long as they can maintain an erection afterward. Maybe even orgasm twice, or several times.
Assuming 400ish thrusts per encounter, it's actually closer to 33.33 - repeating, of course - miles of dick.
To break down:
400 * 3.92 inches, assuming 70% of a penis equals one thrust = 1,568 inches per encounter
20 to 25 * 60 years = 1,200 to 1,500 sexual encounters per lifespan (this part is kind of fuzzy)
1,568 * 1,200 to 1,500 = 1,881,600 to 2,352,000 inches total
1,881,600 to 2,352,000 / 63360 inches per mile = 29.69 to 37.12 miles of dick, approximately.
Basically, no woman has sex only 20 times in a lifespan. That's a huge underestimate. It's closer to 1,500 times or more, for the average woman, at the very least, and that is likely an underestimate as well because the amount of sex people have over their lifespan is a curve that starts out at nothing, sharply ascends to adulthood, and then slowly declines until death. Late teens and twenty-somethings who are in couples have sex 100 times a year, tapering off to 80 times a year, then 60, then maybe 40, then 20-ish, with each successive decade that passes. If we include singles, it's potentially less. Further complicating the matter is that some estimates claim that humans
have sex an average of 5,778 times in a lifespan, but this lacks a sex ratio breakdown and just assumes 50/50 equality between the sexes.
When you take all that into accunt, the actual range we're working with here goes up to something like a whopping 142.9 miles of dick, or about 39.7% of the length of Desert Bus.
This, however, is nothing compared to the statistical outliers, like lifelong prostitutes and porn starlets.
1 | The Fokkens Twins, ~177,500 each
Our only ladies on the list are two of the oldest living members of the world’s oldest profession. Louise and Martine Fokkens are 70-year-old twins who were both prostitutes in Amsterdam’s red light district for 50 years. They claim they had sex with 355,000 men combined in their run, or about 177,500 each. That roughly comes out to 10 men a day each (assuming they took two weeks of vacation every year).
Each of the Fokkens twins were dicked with something in the vicinity of 4,392 miles of dick, which is a quantity of dick that would easily span the distance from New York City to Budapest, Hungary.
But, statistically speaking,
this is actually wrong. I'm working off the assumption that everyone is straight and that all sexual encounters involve PIV and produce exactly 0.0247 miles of dicking, and not bothering to calculate what percentage of this sex is lesbian and therefore doesn't involve a flesh and blood penis, or what percentage of this sex is oral or anal, and therefore doesn't strictly involve a penis
in a vagina. That complicates the estimate again. If, for instance, we assume that half of all sexual encounters are a quick blowjob, and the other half are penis-in-vagina, then that slashes the result in half, since every act other than straight PIV does not count towards the very specific "miles of dick in a pussy" statistic. That's not an insignificant discrepancy. A considerable number of one's 1,500 to 6,000ish sexual encounters during their lifespan may involve strictly oral or anal, or tribadism, or other sexual practices that do not involve a penis in a vagina. We know what proportions of people have tried each type of sex at least once, but there don't appear to be solid statistics as to what percentage of all sex involving women comprises non-vaginal sex.
Quite the cocknundrum.
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