Today, I heard that Cloudflare had taken down my beloved Kiwi Farms. I knew that cowardly Matthew Prince had cucked to that dastardly tranny Lucas. I knew what I had to do. To save the Forum. To save Free Speech.
I first prayed to my Lord Jesus, and asked Him to forgive me for what I had to do. I then went downstairs to the freezer and brought forth 2 hot pockets, prepared and ate them, the blistering hot ambrosia of the Janny boiling my mouth. But I endured the pain. The ritual had to be completed correctly. I then when to my parents, (who's basement I still live in) and told them that I was not to be disturbed, no matter what they heard, and that if I did not return by first light, that I loved them dearly.
I sealed my bunker of solitude behind me and went to the great throne in the center of the room that was my ghetto ass set-up, pausing only to turn down the picture of my beloved Grandmother. She need not see this deed. I striped bared, and was seated upon my gamer chair, and pulled up only the finest Aryan on Aryan impregnation porn. I brought my massive, bitch breaking, vitae pulsing 6 incher to mast, and began to pleasure myself. Breathing deep as I watched the white bodies clash, I cried out - "I love having a penis!" I knew that somewhere in the Bong-Subjugated Ireland, Lucas winced in pain. His foul majicks were weakened surely. I came to a thunderous climax just as the nord did, and came forth a further two times. I smiled in contentedness. That ought to do it. I opened the Farms, wondering what thread I should lurk the day away in, only feel the force of a lightning bolt strike at my very heart.
The Farms were still down.
Impossible. I had climaxed to pure Aryan lovemaking thrice uninterrupted, declaring my love for my genitals all the while. The troon devilry should have been shattered. This was a deeper sort of ritual than I had imagined. Further work was required. I pulled up only the best in buck breaking and WMBF adult videos. I was unfearful of these videos, for I knew God's one true message: it's not miscegenation if the top is white. With the force of a jack hammer, I brought my organ to bear once again. I came once to the sight of clapped she-boon cheeks, again to the great swaying tits of another, and once more to the sight of the white doms satisfied face. All the while, I maintained the feverish mantra; "I LOVE HAVING A PENIS!" I collapsed, covered in my humors, and with a weakened right arm, reached out to refreshed the page, to find only horror.
The Farms were still down.
The white of the error message encompassed my whole vision. I could not carry on. For 5 hours I had labored. Both arm and rod were exhausted and spasming. Post-nut clarity plagued my mind with disgust and doubt. And slowly I felt my spirit commit to the next world. And then I heard the most wonderful voice. "My Child," he said, "Why do you rest? Your labor is not complete." The white became even more brilliant, and I knew I sat in the presence of God. "Lord," I croaked, "I cannot carry on. I am spent. No more can I continue. How can I play Call of Duty and save Null's gay internet forum?" The Lord replied, "Who made mans penis? Did not the Father? Did He give it to you on a whim? No, He gave it to you with deliberateness and purpose. He made them man and woman, and he has made you man for this purpose. Get up! And do as He has commanded. " I groaned. "Lord, his troonry is too strong. How shall I break him?" The Lord replied, "As I came to the Jews to lead them to the path of righteousness, so must you. Go now, and do as the Lord has instructed."
My vision returned. Come to the Jews? How? Israel would never let me into the nation. Then the Lords instruction be came clear. It was not metaphor, His instructions were most clear. With all of the strength I had left, I pulled my self upright, and search the faithful erotica that would doom the Shitposter to a decade of darkness, or triumph in the name of all that was funny. It took an hour to nurse my pride to strength again, and an hour further to find the erotica: hardcore mass Jewess degradation by Nazis BDSM roleplay. The ultimate weapon against troons and the Anti-Christ. As the white stallions pumped the humiliated Jews, so to did I pump my own length. As the racist slogans were bellowed, so to did I hoarsely try and call the mantra to no avail. After half an hour I collapsed, unable to bring forth my seed from my aching jewels. It couldn't be done.
And then, amidst my misery and excretions, a ray of light shone through the window down into the depths of the basement. It brought scant warmth, but it also couried to me something far more valuable. The knowledge of the dawn, and it's new beginning. The memory of the loving family I promised to return to. The expectation of the Lord. And the times I had frolicked in the grass. All things troons did not know. All things the troon hated and feared. All things, the troon wished destroyed. The forum was first, the rest would come soon. With my heart drumming a gallop in my ears, and the image of the skinheads completing their conquests in the Jewesses, I continued my pace. While my arm popped an creaked, and the smell of burnt bacon came from from my friction burned member, still onward I pressed. And I as my climax came, I felt in my heart Lucas's fear. His fear of defeat and banishment, that he had exposed his fiendish ways in a Faustian bargain that delivered him nothing. And as it came, my hoarse voice found power once again, and I howled to the heavens the truth:
"GOD I LOVE HAVING A PENIS!!!"
When I awoke I cannot say. My room lay in shambles. My labor. I had to be sure. Crawling on my belly, the ooze of my efforts being scrapped off as I dragged myself forwards, I reached for the PC. With dread, I refreshed the page, but found that the lord had been faithful.
The Farms was back up.
Relief and happiness split my visage, and without care for Cows or lurking, I sank down to the floor and lay at rest, grateful that at last I could have peace. That the garden was safe for one more day.
