I’m sorry, I can’t do anything about the awful filter she uses in every goddamned photo.
Account starts in Feb 2020 with this lil introduction of our soon-to-be-favourite wine aunt. She has POTS, an anxious looking accessory doglet, and a funny mobility scooter.
Second post, inappropriate sinus tachycardia which is a catch-all diagnosis for “heart beating too fast, reason unspecified.” Reason will be specified soon.
Here she lets us know there’s something up with her kidneys, but not what. We also learn she has migraines. Sorry, “migrains.”
She has gotten an implantable loop recorder to track her tachycardia and syncope and we have gotten pics of her sad, flappy tits.
Yes, she really Mobility Marys around town in her scooter. Beep beep! Gets candy after bloodwork like a child.
And we learn she has a husband, so she is of the “trapped my man and tapping out” variety. Nothing we haven’t seen before.
This thing she’s shilling is some kind of electro-acupuncture device. It has FDA approval so I guess it’s not total bullshit or at the very least probably wont kill you.
So she actually has a job at the start of her account, working part-time for an insurance firm despite her radical stupidity. Imagine being her taxi driver tho.
Okay let’s see, we got morphine, self explanatory; Cinnarizine, an antihistamine used for nausea and vomiting; pyridostigmine, a drug used for muscle weakness in myasthenia gravis but occasionally prescribed off-label for EDS with POTS; magnesium supplement; ivabradine, used for tachycardia; fludrocortisone, a steroid used for POTS; ondansetron is zofran for nausea; vit D3 supplement; betahistine, another antihistamine used for vertigo; bisoprolol is a beta blocker for high blood pressure and tachycardia; and she also mentions sumatriptan for migraines.
Welcome to steroids, enjoy your stay.
Based. Britbongistan has no qualms telling these chicks if they’re as sick as they claim to be they don’t get a driving license anymore.
“spoon preserving”. This is a different accessory doglet.
the only new meds I can make out in this one are omeprazole (a proton pump inhibitor aka Prilosec) and slow sodium, literally salt. She’s also spelled out “cholecaliciferol” as if it’s a serious drug but it’s just vitamin D3 lol.
The video here is just a close up of her shirt slightly shaking, which she claims is her heart beating but could be anything.
Going to hear about her super serious heart disease. She does this a lot and I've taken the liberty of cutting a lot of repetitive shit out.
Admitted to the cardiac ward. Perhaps your #highbp is because you’re obese and super sedentary...
Or maybe it’s the salt addiction. Or both!
I just want to be your inspiration porn!
Her cardio is Dr. Sanjay Gupta in York, who also has a huge following on youtube and facebook. He started by giving signs of heart attacks but moved on to stroking the egos of POTS munchies for social media engagement. He’s currently pushing “long covid in the POTS patient” crap they’re all lapping up.
She really loves showing off her pills, toys, and especially her morphine.
Sammy likes to talk about how she isn't self-conscious about her health and mobility aids anymore but one thing she is always trying to minimize is the giant mole on her face. She will blur, filter, and spackle makeup over it. She also has a very funny tendency to either pull the collar of her shirt over it, cover it with her hand, hold her phone over it when taking a mirror selfie, or, my favorite, use one of her accessory doglets as a shield. Why she doesn't just insist she's super compromised and must wear a mask at all times is beyond me but I thank her for it.
Migrains. Another thing you may notice about Sammy is she is fucking
dumb and can’t spell very common words like "aren't." Like our other really dumb ones (hi Dani!), she is seemingly incapable of realizing how obvious she is or sticking to a cohesive lie. Also like that set, she is way too fucking stupid to realize this is actually dangerous which means she will actually ruin her health gleefully if it means the doctor tells her she's a very sick little girl.
Obligatory post about how coof is worse for her than anyone else.
Clearing out the OTC pain meds aisle for unexplained back pain.
Lol this sounds like normal aging related shit. You get up, you’re still tired, and you don’t wanna go to work? Wow amazing.
Bad munchie poetry is one of my favorite things.
It’s just a shower chair, relax.
Even more pill porn.
This is an off the rack manual folding chair that goes for about £250, not something prescribed.
Multiple doctors have called her out for being full of shit. She’s made herself such a pest at her local ER that they blow off an actual kidney infection lol.
She’s finally actually sick and it’s just tonsilitis.
So one of Sammy’s favourite things to do, something we will see way too many pics of, is take a bath. She always claims it’s cool/lukewarm because of the heat intolerance (lol how does that make it even more gross) but as we will learn, bathtime is her modus operandi for keeping herself as sick as possible.
Even more pill porn, this time writing it all out for me. Literally. GTN spray is for angina/chest pain. Desmopressin is another drug being used off-label for POTS, the one that MC used to give herself hyponatremia right after finding out she could do so.
Admitting she just stays on the couch all day and never even goes outside in the yard.
Just some back story. She started dating her man-servant at age 14 and married age 20. So she’s another one who suddenly got sick when she had trapped a man. She had some congenital hip deformity that makes her walk funny. And she left school to work at 16. Wow. Couldn’t tell.
you could always just not tell people about your special conditions, that’s an option.
Here’s a pic of her shitter! She has dehydrated herself again and gotten another kidney infection.
People are already calling her out for having no other personality traits. Immediately proves them right.
If I knew how instagrammable it was I would have gotten it sooner!
In addition to dehydrating the everliving fuck out of herself, Sammy also holds her piss for way too long. She claims this is because she needs to save her spoons for the arduous trips to the only bathroom in the house which is on the second floor.
Oh how shocking, she has “bladder problems that aren’t getting any better.”
“I don’t know what to talk to my gastro about because I have no actual problems. Please give me ideas of some things I could possibly fake.”
Sammy feels slighted because those horrible cancer patients and transplant recipients whose immune systems are totally shot got fancy shielding letters but the fragile spoonies like her didn’t get that privilege because they are “too rare” and her doctor totally confirmed that was the reason. LMAO so the thing with the shielding list? Any doctor could have added you to it at any time. People with insanely rare “only three people diagnosed in all of the UK” illnesses got on it just fine. People who got diagnosed with some obscure cancer after the list came out had no issues with it. All it took was your doctor deciding you needed to be shielding. Nina claimed the same thing with her very rare heart failure and Jess did the same with her super weak immune system. “Too rare, slipped through the cracks!” What they were actually admitting is they don’t have these problems documented by any doctor because if they did that doctor could have gotten them placed on the shielding list.
Every post this girl makes is about her health. No variety. No “look what I made for breakfast.” No “here’s my cute dog just because.” Even the most innocuous images have a caption about her health.
Even for her own challenge she can’t just talk about how she loves her service human, “sausage dogs,” and other animals. She has to pair it with an image of her in the scooter to remind you that she’s super sick.
Remember the back pain? It’s real bad now. Bad enough that she has to be hospitalized.
She has a slipped disc. Causes of this in someone young: sedentary lifestyle, weak core and back muscles, fat. Don’t worry, she got plenty of morphine and valium to make it all better!
Yep. Less than a year after legally ensnaring her man she “got sick” and she’s now excited to spend 6 weeks making him wait on her hand and foot. Tale as old as time.
This includes making him bring the bed downstairs so she doesn’t have to go upstairs. Remember when she told us the only bathroom in the house is upstairs and she puts off pissing because she doesn’t want to walk up there? Yeah...
Crutches appear for the back injury, also she’s been slapped with a short ban for spamming her followers.
Oh god. She brought the damn commode out for her 4k followers post. Along with an apple watch, what looks like a bear wearing a cast, a pregnancy pillow, her wedding photo, a thermometer, heatpack, shower chair set, and dozens of pills. I just can’t get over “this is the bucket I shit in in my living room!”
Reminder that her only problems right now are back pain from a slipped disk, hypertension, POTS-like symptoms from being completely deconditioned and dehydrated all the time while eating pills like candy, and occasional piss-infections. I don't think being painfully ugly is fatal.
Another nice UTI-friendly bubble bath #chronicfatigue. Why do the pillar candle and succulent on her bath tray tickle me so pink? She wants so badly to be the cool girl instagram influencer.
Yay, titties! Every ugly mark tells a story except that giant mole you are desperate to hide.
I really thought the “spelling shit out with pills” trend died back in like 2017. I guess the Bongs need more time to think about it. Lol you’re on a bunch of benzos, antihistamines, and opiates, I wonder why you’re tired all the time.
And we’re off. Sammy describes having a six-month long UTI that has now become a kidney infection. Multiple courses of antibiotics have failed to fix the problem. Mean doctors tell her that young women get UTIs all the time and she just needs to deal
and fix her lifestyle. Sammy freaks out because she is very rare and special and they never even considered that. Her regular GP recommends a catheter.
Decorating my cheap wheelchair hay
now taking 36 pills per day.
“You are only important to me as a caretaker and enabler”
Zebra mask and a lump in her breast, how very exciting! She admits it’s probably benign, and it is, but she can’t just not get that cancer scare clout, now can she?
Diagnosed PCOS.
With that out of the way, off to the urologist.
Still forever laughing that the Marmite-American government just revoked her license because she cried too hard about being sick.
Yanno if you actually got up and walked you might feel better.
...do the br*tish not have government issue non-driver ID cards?
LMAO that’s not blood pooling, it’s a shadow and cool color filter. I thought it was pale blue stockings on first glance.
The bladder clinic is refusing to see her because she’s too young, because there are definitely no children anywhere in the UK with bladder diseases.
Kidney problems getting worse, might go to hospital later.
And she do. Just a few weeks ago she was openly admitting she holds her piss way past the point of extreme discomfort out of laziness.
My man is lookin
rough.
Wow did you guys know she takes a lot of pills? I had no idea! New ones: mebeverine is for IBS, selexid is an antibiotic usually used in UTIs, Midodrine is for POTS. In the caption, she advocates for doctor shopping, going around the NHS if you must, and buying your own toys if they won’t give them to you.
Oxygen for what tho?
Back in the hospital with bladder issues and she gets a “surgery” (read: minor procedure) to dilate a stricture in her urethra. This was probably caused by the ongoing infection and inflammation, not the cause thereof. She also gets an indwelling cath and will soon start intermittent self-cathing.
You may think ‘a less than desired foley” is because, like damn near everyone on the planet, she doesn’t want to be catheterized in general. Nah, it’s because she wants to jump right to a suprapubic (surgical) cath and is angry that she only has a temporary one.
As soon as she gets this, she starts accessorizing it and living in shorts, skirts, oversized sweaters with no pants, and nightgowns so that it is always on display because muh advocacy.
A week “post-op”. Remember all she got was a dilation procedure and a foley cath. 95 year old women with terminal illnesses have this procedure done and don’t kvetch.
Woah there Sammy, looks like you got that super serious EDS foot they all claim to have
I will never understand the point of broadcasting that you have an illness to absolutely everyone who sees you.
Ice bag on her “pee-pouch” (bladder) with her cath bag on display, but at least there’s morphine!
Lol where exactly did this statistic come from?
LOOK AT THE MANY PRODUCTS THAT GO ON OR NEAR MY VERJOANA! We got some maxi pads, some kind of sanitizer, urine test strips, urine collection cups, hand sani, baby wipes, catheter lubricant, FemFresh stinky vagina wash that is probably not great for someone with chronic UTIs, and liquid morphine. She is exposing hard that she wants this temporary catheter to be a permanent thing.
“Left with my pouch of pee strapped to my leg”. Intentionally wearing dresses and strapping it to her calf instead of her thigh. What a horrible burden this must be! Anyway this is a long story about how she hates self-cathing and made someone else do it.
Her dad is shocked to see that she’s tanked her health over the six months since he’s seen her.
She is thrilled that covid lockdowns have allowed her to adapt her entire wardrobe for maximum piss-bag exposure. Morphine addiction is in full swing.
You know what’s a real bad idea? Taking a bath with a catheter in. It increases your chance of UTI and pretty much every cath care literature will advise against it.
Sammy goes to the ER or urgent care and has a bad time. Doctor immediately pegs her as a munchie and dismisses her.
Solefenacin is for overactive bladder.
This is actually sold as a
mobility scooter and only has a max speed of like 6mph but I can’t imagine the motorcycle-style seat is actually great for many people who would be in the market for one.
It’s a cult and we welcome people who want to fake sick in the wake of killer virus! None of the progressive illnesses she lists are progressive.
Look at my peeeeee!
My god she does love showing off her pills, doesn’t she? Newcomers: Trimethoprim is an antibiotic for UTIs. Peptac in the brown bottle is OTC heartburn medication. We got morphine, tramadol, dihydrocodeine, AND diazepam now for getting fucked up or ‘away with the fairies’ as she charmingly calls it.
PCOS is totally why she’s fat.
Can’t be the caramel cakes.
Yet another bladder infection and another pantsless shot of her pee-tube. Ice pack on top of fluffy sweater coat thing seems a bit pointless.
Just, imagine this was you. You have to have a catheter. You want to document your fun trip to Wales with the husband and the doggies. Where do you point the camera? At the dogs excited in the back seat? At the scenery out the window? At the husband driving you on your adventure? Or at the bag of peepee at your feet?
Even in a set of pictures of their adorable lodging, we get a pee bag cameo.
LMAO this wasn’t even a regular vacation, it was a doctor-shopping excursion and it failed. The urologist she goes to see tells her to go home and be treated by her regular doctors.
Birthday feat my catheter.
Sammy discovers opiate tolerance.
So young, so brave.
Yeah, people are grossed out by you having a bag of pee on display at all times, surprise. That’s why they make covers, thigh straps, belly bags, and there are adaptive garments that make it easy to conceal and empty drain bags so that “HELLO I PEE IN A BAG” is not the first thing people learn about you.
A new antibiotic every week since quarantine started.
“A little more discrete” is it tho?
Early October she announces she has been put on the list for a suprapubic catheter three months after getting the first indwelling. She is thrilled.
You’re not “wheelchair bound”. You choose to use an off the rack shitty chair that isn’t prescribed to you, that you paid for out of pocket because the educated doctors at the NHS determined you don’t need one, and you only use it when you’re out and need extra attention.
Gets a ride in the wee-woo wagon. Wow Sammy. Pain, chills, nausea, shaking, stomach cramps… that sounds suspiciously like you’re in withdrawal.
And she is!
She called an amberlamps because she was dopesick lmao. Lol just admit you have zero tolerance for discomfort of any sort.
Literally no other identity at all.
First of all, why can’t she hold it? It’s free draining into a bag on her leg. Unless you’re so negligent you don’t drain the bag regularly then she really shouldn’t have urgent toilet issues. And second, which of her illnesses requires access to a disabled toilet?
Oh god, she wants to spawn.
I hope you guys aren’t tired of seeing a bendy straw full of bloody peepee yet because we’re going to be seeing it a lot.
Soaking in a lukewarm pool of her own filth and scented bath products while a bag of bloody piss floats on top of it. I can’t imagine how she keeps getting infections.
Ew, what the fuck
She catches her dog chewing on an EKG pad. How adorable and definitely not dangerous! In case you haven’t picked up on this Sammy’s whole “sausage dog mommy” persona belies that she is a negligent owner. I didn't feel like documenting her many, many pets but she has a revolving door of animals in her house including cats, rabbits, chinchillas, and guinea pigs. She will often post a cute fluffy wuffykins to instagram one day and then a few weeks later you’ll find her selling that same animal on facebook because she’s tired of it. She kept rabbits and guinea pigs in the same enclosure which is a terrible idea as their needs are different and rabbits can spread the disease Bordatella bronchiseptica to the guinea pigs. Like their owner, the animals are overfed and do not get nearly enough exercise resulting in obesity. The rabbits are fed a diet high in sugar and low in leafy greens and every time she gets a new one she just chucks it in with the others without bothering to bond them – a bad idea with buns. Sure, it’s not exactly Kiley riding her dog around like a pony until she blows out all his joints and he dies in agony levels of MATI but she still sucks.
Another bath with my pet peepee bag.
I’ll say it again: no other identity to speak of. Also yes she’s one of those people who starts decorating for christmas as soon as Halloween is over and I hate her for this.
People try to let her know that no one wants to see bags of her urine all the time. No one’s saying she shouldn’t need a catheter, just that they don’t want to see it because it’s like taking a photo of the inside of your toilet bowl.
Especially since she tells us she routinely leaks the contents of the bag all over herself.
Another christmas decoration to commemorate that she’s sick…
In two weeks she gets a hole punched in her bladder. How exciting!
Lost 2 stone (28lb) in 6 weeks, about 4.5 lbs per week, allegedly.
Catheter posting continues as Sammy photoshops herself to look like Michael Jackson’s scousier clone.
Cute picture of cat, pee bag included.
Picture of her shower chair, also pee bag.
Getting ready for surgery, must document pee bag. Also bragging that despite how overloaded the NHS was with coof, they still prioritized her for surgery for her self-induced problems.
She gets her SPC and extra pain meds. She is happy with her blanket drawn up to hide that thing on her face.
Just passed out, better take a selfie. Sammy, did you nod out in the bathroom?
Kieran falls into the caretaker role as she expected.
Mmm a nice non-sterile fleece pad on her brand new SPC site.
You could walk.
Surprise, her newly-installed pee hole is already bleeding!
Just eating McDongles on the shitter, as one does.
Beautiful munchie poetry.
A week post op, her SPC site is already infected. I am sure you are all very surprised.
