Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Ginger_beer]

I'm behind in appreciating this thread because my brain dropped the phone at "... Adult Happy Meal..." and refuses to return to the conversation. I Googled, and yes it's an actual real thing. I am baffled. I mean, I understand that McDonalds is trying to plug into presumable adult nostalgia regarding the excitement of getting a Happy Meal as a child, and I know they're skilled at marketing so it's more likely to be successful than not, but I just don't understand -- and I swear it's not the language barrier. (I am not a native English speaker, for those who might be wondering. I am reasonably fluent, but if I make an error please do point -- and laugh if you want -- as it helps me improve.) Bread and circuses perhaps? That's the only way I can explain it.

 

[Programmer Socks]

Zero fucks given by Alan Roberts.

 

[Gramlol]

I'm behind in appreciating this thread because my brain dropped the phone at "... Adult Happy Meal..." and refuses to return to the conversation. I Googled, and yes it's an actual real thing. I am baffled. I mean, I understand that McDonalds is trying to plug into presumable adult nostalgia regarding the excitement of getting a Happy Meal as a child, and I know they're skilled at marketing so it's more likely to be successful than not, but I just don't understand -- and I swear it's not the language barrier. (I am not a native English speaker, for those who might be wondering. I am reasonably fluent, but if I make an error please do point -- and laugh if you want -- as it helps me improve.) Bread and circuses perhaps? That's the only way I can explain it.

100% bread and circuses, you are spot on. All McDonald's hardly qualifies as food, they are dependent on branding to make it appealing. God knows it lacks nutritional value, and flavour.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

All this overanalyzing of is giving me serious Female Dating Strategy vibes. If Tess goes down that road, I pray for any man naïve enough to fall into her web.

 

[NoReturn]

Oh she's on a roll tonight.

Tess vs. West

This memorial post is an ad

 

[Grand Duke Snowfall]

Been quite a while since I checked this thread, and Christ, she's covered in more oil than a McDonald's fryer. It's actually a little horrifying to see the difference between the photos on page one versus now.
Now that I think about it, it takes about a year for a human body to compose. How long will it take for Tess once she kicks it?

 

[NoReturn]

Been quite a while since I checked this thread, and Christ, she's covered in more oil than a McDonald's fryer. It's actually a little horrifying to see the difference between the photos on page one versus now.
Now that I think about it, it takes about a year for a human body to compose. How long will it take for Tess once she kicks it?

Spoiler: About 20 hours assuming the crematorium gets her up to temperature

 

[TheGoodNamesHaveBeenTaken]

It is scary that someone as lolcowish and spectacularly unattractive as Tess documents their life and goes on and on about how desirable they are. What is absolutely terrifying is she has followers that believe her. The worshipful replies with people going on and on about her beauty are terrifying.

We share the planet with people that think greasy, Crisco covered skin and her "This ass" exposed half filled sand bag titties are "so gorgeous". They walk among us. You want a scary thought for Halloween, there it is. Zombies, Werewolves and other undead creatures don't scare me. Tess's delusional followers scare me.

 

[Trombonista]

It is scary that someone as lolcowish and spectacularly unattractive as Tess documents their life and goes on and on about how desirable they are. What is absolutely terrifying is she has followers that believe her. The worshipful replies with people going on and on about her beauty are terrifying.

We share the planet with people that think greasy, Crisco covered skin and her "This ass" exposed half filled sand bag titties are "so gorgeous". They walk among us. You want a scary thought for Halloween, there it is. Zombies, Werewolves and other undead creatures don't scare me. Tess's delusional followers scare me.

It's more likely that they think complimenting her makes them look like good people.

 

[Gramlol]

It is scary that someone as lolcowish and spectacularly unattractive as Tess documents their life and goes on and on about how desirable they are. What is absolutely terrifying is she has followers that believe her. The worshipful replies with people going on and on about her beauty are terrifying.

We share the planet with people that think greasy, Crisco covered skin and her "This ass" exposed half filled sand bag titties are "so gorgeous". They walk among us. You want a scary thought for Halloween, there it is. Zombies, Werewolves and other undead creatures don't scare me. Tess's delusional followers scare me.

Nah, it's a female socialisation thing to overhype ugly women, and be cold to beautiful women. You can gauge any random Instagram celeb woman's genuine attractiveness by looking at the % male and % female 'you're gorgeous!!' comments. Tess has 98% female fans just saying it to appear like the type of good person who helps the ugly woman (Tess) feel better.

Usually women who don't understand this dynamic were either raised in a mostly male environment as teens, or women who were bullies/social outcasts/homeschooled. But most of these kind of get the message by their 20s. Not our narc Tess tho.

 

[vlcsr]

Nah, it's a female socialisation thing to overhype ugly women, and be cold to beautiful women. You can gauge any random Instagram celeb woman's genuine attractiveness by looking at the % male and % female 'you're gorgeous!!' comments. Tess has 98% female fans just saying it to appear like the type of good person who helps the ugly woman (Tess) feel better.

Usually women who don't understand this dynamic were either raised in a mostly male environment as teens, or women who were bullies/social outcasts/homeschooled. But most of these kind of get the message by their 20s. Not our narc Tess tho.

Tess also has a large number of followers who look like her (or worse) and are trying to delude themselves that they can be “beautiful” just like her. It’s like men who follow Dan Bilzerian.

 

[NoReturn]

Speaking of Tess documenting anything and everything:

 

[FarmerKhourtney]

Wow Tess it must be nice to go out and get loaded while you have a babysitter CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE!!!

 

[Alpaca Autopsy Expert]

Hold up— did she say she’s been losing her hair since her ‘best friend’ died? She means Lizette, right?
1. I’m shocked she would admit to such a flaw, but those of us with eyes could see some hair thinning happening for a while.
2. With an endless parade of best friends, it’s confusing to keep them straight.

 

[Simon]

Hold up— did she say she’s been losing her hair since her ‘best friend’ died? She means Lizette, right?
1. I’m shocked she would admit to such a flaw, but those of us with eyes could see some hair thinning happening for a while.
2. With an endless parade of best friends, it’s confusing to keep them straight.

Well, Lizette was just whatsername's sister/minor character when she died, and now, since Tess needs more attention, she's suddenly been bumped up to 'best friend', which is news to all of us. I'm sure every minor character in Tess's orbit will eventually get the same treatment, since Tess is an attention whore.

 

[cactus]

If Tess loses a foot to diabetes, you know she'll be blaming something else too. Extreme obesity causes hairloss but you know, gotta treat yourself with that venti sugar loaded iced "coffee" from Starbucks after the dermatologist appointment!

 

[Constellationzero]

If Tess loses a foot to diabetes, you know she'll be blaming something else too. Extreme obesity causes hairloss but you know, gotta treat yourself with that venti sugar loaded iced "coffee" from Starbucks after the dermatologist appointment!

She also has JoJo Siwa-tier traction alopecia.

 

[Gay Mouth]

If Tess loses a foot to diabetes, you know she'll be blaming something else too. Extreme obesity causes hairloss but you know, gotta treat yourself with that venti sugar loaded iced "coffee" from Starbucks after the dermatologist appointment!

ITS STRESS! She is so so stressed that her former nanny’s sister committed suicide, it’s actually been one of those “stretch-the-tragedy-into-months-of-indulgence” things, y’a know? Thank God Lizette did the needful so Tess could admit her hormonal nosedive BALDNESS.

 

[TheGoodNamesHaveBeenTaken]

Hopefully soon she compares her self to Jada Pinkett Smith and then Will Smith slaps the shit out her.

"Keep my wife's name out yer mouff!!"

 

[Trombonista]

Hopefully soon she compares her self to Jada Pinkett Smith and then Will Smith slaps the shit out her.

"Keep my wife's name out yer mouff!!"

Will Smith wouldn't want all that grease on his hand.