- Joined
- Jun 30, 2017
Starting to feel like her SM career peaked about 12 months ago and it's all denouement since then. She's totally given up being a weight loss influencer.
April Lauren / April Lauren Wilson Brown / Wakeupbright - Fake positivity, pedostache husband. Voted fatty most likely on the verge of her Stepford Wife robot programming malfunctioning
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low sodium
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2020
Archive Fall Goals, Intentions and focus for Weight Loss, Fitness and Fun | Balancing Weight Loss and Life
Oct 10, 2022
"In this video I share Fall Goals, Intentions and focus for Weight Loss, Fitness and Fun. I share parts of my fall bucket list and my goals for this season. Balancing Weight loss and life..."
Azovka
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2018
Recap:
April starts off by saying that her summer was "bittersweet", and a moment of "growth" (judging by her weight gain, that term is appropriate indeed). Those "seasonal updates" will replace her monthly recap videos from now on. Her goal for autumn is to lose 20lbs by walking 15k steps a day, tracking her food, and sleeping better.
Fitness goals for fall:
- do a Deka fit in New Jersey (10 different zones, but each time, you start with a run for a total of 3.1 miles)
- do a Deka strong in December in under 23 minutes
- work on 5k running - she hired a running coach for that
(Aparte: April claims that "winter starts on December 20", so her Jingle Bell Christmas races will be "fall races").
Bucket list:
- Find an apple orchard and make her husband an apple desert
- Make homemade bread every week with her new kitchen aid to share with neighbours, friends, and whomever to learn a new skill
- Do day hikes in the North Carolina mountains
- Go to a pumpkin patch
- Have her neighbours over to build a community around her
- Very vague "prolonged projects" and "routines" to do
- Get a more solid cleaning schedule
- Related to cleaning, look up "Fly Lady" (whatever that is)
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2022
So it seems like April's current 'thing' is to play a traditional homemaker role. Which is fine, homemaking can be very rewarding and it's hard work if you, you know, actually do it. I have my doubts that April will follow through with much of this, but I would be happy to be proven wrong.
Yeah, this list kinda brings home how little she does in a regular week. How do you not already have time for 'projects' and the yard when you're working only a few hours a week?
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2021
FlyLady is just a cleaning schedule thing designed to help people keep on top of their household tasks. It's especially useful for those who tend to be overwhelmed by all of the day to day chores and allow them to pile up until the house is completely filthy.
It's absolutely hilarious that April has to add looking it up to her to do list. God forbid she actually just...do it?
From what we've seen in the background of her videos and Instagram photos, the house is a disaster. If they were both working full-time, I'd be willing to cut them plenty of slack, but April is home whenever she's not taking selfies at the gym or strategically arranging her tripod at the high school track. They have no children. The house should be basically spotless. Cleaning, especially the heavier stuff like vacuuming, can be a great workout, too.
sophiesprettytits
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2020
It's all just a LARP though. If she gave a shit about being a homemaker and a stay-at-home wife she would've lost the weight by now so that she could get pregnant. She's just putting on this front so she can continue being a NEET.
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2021
Apple bread is bomb but I doubt that would be “dessert” enough for her -uh, I mean her “husband” because obviously she wouldn’t lay a dainty finger on such a thing.
Applesauce, baked apples (great for adding to oatmeal or farina!) or dried apples are all a thing, April. Maybe can them like the good Mormon you are and add them to the food storage stash you most definitely are not eating your way straight through. Apples are a whole dessert on their own, no need to plump up that man of yours any further.
Applesauce, baked apples (great for adding to oatmeal or farina!) or dried apples are all a thing, April. Maybe can them like the good Mormon you are and add them to the food storage stash you most definitely are not eating your way straight through. Apples are a whole dessert on their own, no need to plump up that man of yours any further.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
Random reminder that April is a 38 years old grown-ass adult.
Flylady is cancer.
A few good ideas here and there but not worth it in the long run.
Flylady is cancer.
A few good ideas here and there but not worth it in the long run.
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2022
This big bitch won't lose much weight from here on out and probably will have the same goals the next time she makes one of these videos. She is one of the most reliably stagnant lolcows on this site. Just pack it in, Ape, and do mookbongs, already.
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2021
Oh wow! I visited the FlyLady website and it was like stepping back in time. I sort of love/hate it. Kept expecting to see a page-visit counter and a web-ring thingy at the bottom!
It's very typical April though. Paying money for advice that could be found for free anywhere. Looking to a branded system over common sense advice. And putting extra steps between declaring that they will do a thing (be less of a slob and look after her home) and actually doing it.
I think April really recognises things about herself that she needs to improve (fat, slobby etc) but gets a high from declaring to the world her intentions to fix it, then lacks the motivation/fortitude to follow through. Even her garbled musing on "sustainable routines" seem to admit as such. Trouble is, she's always trying to monetise fixing her flaws, whilst utterly failing to fix *why* she always ultimately fails.
In her deleted videos, from before her current incarnation, she had a "clean with me" series. Guess it's all part of the April-cycle. It's baffling how she looks at herself and says "I suck at XYZ, so I'm going to film myself talking like an authority on how to fix it, play off my inevitable failure, then put it on the internet and call that my job".
Gorl obviously has issues. Did she mention ADHD at one point, or am I making that up? She could blog about the struggles of achieving goals whilst"non neurotypical" or some shit and it would be 100x more honest. She might even figure out some approaches that make her more productive. But I think she has a set idea of "perfect" and can't handle not appearing to be/chase those ideals.
The short term dopamine hit of declaring plans, or eating some sweet treat is too powerful over her. No wander she loves "goal setting" videos, buying plans and work out clothes but dropped the "results" videos whilst continuing the "look how great I am, doing deka, renovating/cleaning" vids. She couldn't even admit how little of the mountain hike she did in favour of something that looked and sounded more favourable and "inspirational"
It's very typical April though. Paying money for advice that could be found for free anywhere. Looking to a branded system over common sense advice. And putting extra steps between declaring that they will do a thing (be less of a slob and look after her home) and actually doing it.
I think April really recognises things about herself that she needs to improve (fat, slobby etc) but gets a high from declaring to the world her intentions to fix it, then lacks the motivation/fortitude to follow through. Even her garbled musing on "sustainable routines" seem to admit as such. Trouble is, she's always trying to monetise fixing her flaws, whilst utterly failing to fix *why* she always ultimately fails.
In her deleted videos, from before her current incarnation, she had a "clean with me" series. Guess it's all part of the April-cycle. It's baffling how she looks at herself and says "I suck at XYZ, so I'm going to film myself talking like an authority on how to fix it, play off my inevitable failure, then put it on the internet and call that my job".
Gorl obviously has issues. Did she mention ADHD at one point, or am I making that up? She could blog about the struggles of achieving goals whilst"non neurotypical" or some shit and it would be 100x more honest. She might even figure out some approaches that make her more productive. But I think she has a set idea of "perfect" and can't handle not appearing to be/chase those ideals.
The short term dopamine hit of declaring plans, or eating some sweet treat is too powerful over her. No wander she loves "goal setting" videos, buying plans and work out clothes but dropped the "results" videos whilst continuing the "look how great I am, doing deka, renovating/cleaning" vids. She couldn't even admit how little of the mountain hike she did in favour of something that looked and sounded more favourable and "inspirational"
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2020
At this rate, she’s turning into Amberlynn.
Trying to lose weight but not a lot, so that people won’t expect a lot from her.
Trying to lose weight but not a lot, so that people won’t expect a lot from her.
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2017
It's fitting that Ape's Bucket List (which is supposed to be a list of things you want to do before you die, like skydiving or taking a cross-country road trip) has very mundane things anyone could do at any time like apple picking and cleaning her house. She should have put impossible tasks like "buy kale from the supermarket and actually eat it" and "walk my dogs every day" on the list.
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2021
If she wasnt such an annoying cow, id feel sorry for her living such a small and boring life. The thing is, she has a cushy life with a lot of opportunities and she pisses it all away, bc shes cant be bothered putting in the effort to do anything.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2022
I am both amused and a little puzzled by that most recent video. April talks about how much she enjoyed doing C25K and it was very interesting to see how the small progress, pursued *according to the program* added up and produced a much bigger result. Yes? That's how it's meant to work, and applies generally as well, so how is it a revelation? Assuming her realisation is genuine, it's actually really great in my opinion, and that approach would help her in a lot of areas if she can learn to get out of her own way. Exercise isn't a solution, and she plans to track her food. Like all the "random people" on the internet -- that she's been disregarding and angry at for criticising her all along have been saying? LOL. That said, I hope she doesn't just actually honestly track her food, but that the intake shocks her into keeping a sensible deficit so that she reaches her goal of 20 lbs. lost by Christmas.
Kenny being disappointed that when they go out to eat there aren't a lot of apple desserts available amused me. Just how often do they go out to eat (much more than April lets on, certainly) but also, what's stopping them from buying apple sauce, or apple pies, or apple pastries, or actual apples and just using them themselves? I'm a little confused by that because surely apples/apple products are available year round, and if someone really likes it they can procure it. There's nothing wrong with wanting to make an event of apple picking etc. but it's hardly a commodity that's limited to autumn. Then again, April seems to want to make a special event of everything, rather than just doing things. More grandiosity, she can't just be a regular person -- oh horrors! -- and plug away at things until they're done. No, there must be fanfare and excessive elaborations or it's simply not worth doing.
Kenny being disappointed that when they go out to eat there aren't a lot of apple desserts available amused me. Just how often do they go out to eat (much more than April lets on, certainly) but also, what's stopping them from buying apple sauce, or apple pies, or apple pastries, or actual apples and just using them themselves? I'm a little confused by that because surely apples/apple products are available year round, and if someone really likes it they can procure it. There's nothing wrong with wanting to make an event of apple picking etc. but it's hardly a commodity that's limited to autumn. Then again, April seems to want to make a special event of everything, rather than just doing things. More grandiosity, she can't just be a regular person -- oh horrors! -- and plug away at things until they're done. No, there must be fanfare and excessive elaborations or it's simply not worth doing.
I am in two minds about the goal list.
Part of me is like, that's way too many goals for someone who can't walk her dogs daily.
Part of me is like, ok but that's normal day to day stuff. Just wake up and make bread if you want to make bread.
Actually don't make bread. You fat
Part of me is like, that's way too many goals for someone who can't walk her dogs daily.
Part of me is like, ok but that's normal day to day stuff. Just wake up and make bread if you want to make bread.
Actually don't make bread. You fat
low sodium
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2020
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2017
So Ape kind of shows her ass in this video. When she starts talking about tracking food, she says (for the umpteenth time) that aggressively tracking calories is very bad for her, but she doesn't fully explain what that means. One can glean from the specific phrasing that she means "when I restrict my calories, I get obsessed with eating less and less, and then eventually I will binge and fall off track," though she never uses the word binge or mentions actually overeating. She just implies that restricting is bad, and blames her problems with eating less on having ADHD (lol).
Here's my take: Ape has obvious problems with emotional overeating, despite mentioning many times that she doesn't have emotional eating problems. She needs therapy to address these problems, but instead she uses the problems as an excuse to never meet her goals. "If I eat less I will eventually binge so I should never eat less." It's the self-fulfilling prophecy of every single fat activist and HAES slave. Ape has a massive ego and would never get therapy to fix what's wrong with her. Her ego is also why in the beginning of this video she goes to a 5 AM class packed with fit people (dressed like fucking Chantal, too like pre Hijab Chantal in a leopard print top and tights lmao) and proceeds to sloppily step up and down on a box and call it "box jumps" and flail her gunt on the floor and call it "pushups." if her ego wasn't bigger than the moon she would feel embarrassed by doing this shit.
In short: Ape likes making excuses, she does not want help for her mental illness and would rather make excuses, she will continue to be fat.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2022
I am only part way through the video, but my goodness this shows insights into April's character that she did not realise she's revealing. I was wondering what caused that furious face in the still -- it was complications getting the tires on her husband's vehicle changed. She is seething about the additional cost, and says she may not get his tires changed. I'm both amused and appalled because things like tire service are a potential safety issue. They are privileged enough to have two vehicles for their household, but it's fine for Kenny (who makes the money that pays for those two vehicles) to drive a vehicle that's not properly maintained? Also there are frustrations and complications getting a vehicle serviced? How unique and unexpected! LOL.
The long section with the dogs was enjoyable for me -- they look well, for all they're still fat, and dare I say the male looks a little trimmer? If April and Kenny are taking steps to actually improve the dogs' quality of life I can only applaud. They are both responsible for the dogs in my opinion, and Kenny needs to be ashamed that he let the animals get into such a state to begin with and take steps himself to address it, not leave it all to April.
April is forcing herself to do a menial task she doesn't want to by setting a timer, and she's quibbling over five minutes because twenty minutes is much less pleasant than fifteen. I don't know what to say about this, because to me it's a pre-adolescent level of lack of self-regulation. "I don't want to clean my room!" (or in this case pick up wind blown debris from their back yard). Again, you have a back yard April. It's nice, and it's attached to the house you actually own, do you not recognise your privilege in this regard? Also unlike many people in Florida you still have a house, and a yard, and trees. Maybe be glad there are only sticks to pick up in the wake of some stormy weather? It's also 20 bloody minutes. What is lost from your day by doing that? What is gained, in the form of a clean yard, and healthy activity outdoors? But she doesn't want to do a simple, tedious task, and must ginger herself along with a timer and filming it for content. Okay.
She makes a point of panning down over her shirt while she's out working on the yard. I think she intends to show off her Metallica shirt (so METAL!) but the perspective is unfortunate. I did not need or want that view of her bosom. She's substitute teaching a "power" yoga class for someone. I feel badly for the students, who will necessarily receive sub-par instruction because April is not physically capable of doing the poses with any sort real accuracy. April claims that tracking food causes her to become fixated on it. Like she's not fixated normally? The fixation is just the other way about -- on what she will eat next, on how it will taste -- as opposed to restricting. Two sides, same coin April. Fixing one will also fix the other, but that would require therapy rather than her flailing, failing self direction.
April claims to have caloric goals. Oh really? Do share them please April -- like you never shut up about the workout goals, so you should share the caloric goals too! I'm betting they're not remotely reasonable (based on that absurd scan she had a while ago), and/or she routinely blows them, or she would not only be losing less than a kilo a week at her size. She claims to have been doing very well with the food aspect of things, which just makes me laugh and laugh. Granted, I don't doubt that she has a real issue with over-restricting and then binging, but she needs real professional help to sort that out. I also don't doubt that the ADD (assuming she actually has it) contributes to her food issues (with the attendant all-or-nothing thinking and impulsivity), but there again -- there are medications and therapy available instead of trying to flail through oneself. At the end she says she's "Excited to continue forward" but she's sullen about it, and lying if her averted gaze is anything to go by.
It's interesting -- she periodically does and says things that make me think there's a chance she will really succeed. But history (and current contradictory evidence) says she will not. It's certainly a spectacle, either way.
The long section with the dogs was enjoyable for me -- they look well, for all they're still fat, and dare I say the male looks a little trimmer? If April and Kenny are taking steps to actually improve the dogs' quality of life I can only applaud. They are both responsible for the dogs in my opinion, and Kenny needs to be ashamed that he let the animals get into such a state to begin with and take steps himself to address it, not leave it all to April.
April is forcing herself to do a menial task she doesn't want to by setting a timer, and she's quibbling over five minutes because twenty minutes is much less pleasant than fifteen. I don't know what to say about this, because to me it's a pre-adolescent level of lack of self-regulation. "I don't want to clean my room!" (or in this case pick up wind blown debris from their back yard). Again, you have a back yard April. It's nice, and it's attached to the house you actually own, do you not recognise your privilege in this regard? Also unlike many people in Florida you still have a house, and a yard, and trees. Maybe be glad there are only sticks to pick up in the wake of some stormy weather? It's also 20 bloody minutes. What is lost from your day by doing that? What is gained, in the form of a clean yard, and healthy activity outdoors? But she doesn't want to do a simple, tedious task, and must ginger herself along with a timer and filming it for content. Okay.
She makes a point of panning down over her shirt while she's out working on the yard. I think she intends to show off her Metallica shirt (so METAL!) but the perspective is unfortunate. I did not need or want that view of her bosom. She's substitute teaching a "power" yoga class for someone. I feel badly for the students, who will necessarily receive sub-par instruction because April is not physically capable of doing the poses with any sort real accuracy. April claims that tracking food causes her to become fixated on it. Like she's not fixated normally? The fixation is just the other way about -- on what she will eat next, on how it will taste -- as opposed to restricting. Two sides, same coin April. Fixing one will also fix the other, but that would require therapy rather than her flailing, failing self direction.
April claims to have caloric goals. Oh really? Do share them please April -- like you never shut up about the workout goals, so you should share the caloric goals too! I'm betting they're not remotely reasonable (based on that absurd scan she had a while ago), and/or she routinely blows them, or she would not only be losing less than a kilo a week at her size. She claims to have been doing very well with the food aspect of things, which just makes me laugh and laugh. Granted, I don't doubt that she has a real issue with over-restricting and then binging, but she needs real professional help to sort that out. I also don't doubt that the ADD (assuming she actually has it) contributes to her food issues (with the attendant all-or-nothing thinking and impulsivity), but there again -- there are medications and therapy available instead of trying to flail through oneself. At the end she says she's "Excited to continue forward" but she's sullen about it, and lying if her averted gaze is anything to go by.
It's interesting -- she periodically does and says things that make me think there's a chance she will really succeed. But history (and current contradictory evidence) says she will not. It's certainly a spectacle, either way.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2019
I havent' watched the video yet but her face in that thumbnail? Yeah those super happy bright eyed women are always just one tiny everyday incident away from a full breakdown. Always.
And the "I can't track calories or I'll eat too little and then binge" thing that so many deathfats like to trot out?
IF YOU EAT TINY AMOUNTS MOST OF THE TIME, A BINGE WON'T CAUSE AS MUCH HARM!!
Constantly having an overabundance of calories in your system and THEN overeating too? That'll give you a body like April has.
And the "I can't track calories or I'll eat too little and then binge" thing that so many deathfats like to trot out?
IF YOU EAT TINY AMOUNTS MOST OF THE TIME, A BINGE WON'T CAUSE AS MUCH HARM!!
Constantly having an overabundance of calories in your system and THEN overeating too? That'll give you a body like April has.
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2017
This fool will drop more than $120 on sneakers every other month but won't pay that amount to maintain her husband's cars' safety headed into winter weather season. That's her in a nutshell.