Community Pro-Ana - "I need to lose 20 more pounds or I'll never be pretty!"

[Trombonista]

Still, you'd think ending up in the ER with a pen in your throat would be a wake-up call.

 

[Lep in the hood]

Hey nonnas I would like to introduce you all to Jenn Bridges or Dorian (pretend name) Bridges (they were born female and claim to be ftm or nonbinary but clearly are not). They go by Of herbs and altars on youtube and they are some anachan v-logger who is mid 30s and still lives with mum and dad.
She has been addicted to pretty much everything including trying to shoot up OTC cold medicine and nearly dying. She thinks she can fuck ghosts. She talks about how good it felt to be proana and to b/p and much more. I mean sure she says shes not glorifying eating disorders but loves talking about how good it feels to be a skeleton or to b/p or to abuse drugs. Hey now I don't really care I am not the morality police, but they seem to think they are since this is what they post on their instgram.

https://www.youtube.com/user/ofherbsandaltars

https://theputrescentvein.wordpress.com/ (her word press blog very edgy shit)
Let me start with the best part of it. She thinks she can fuck ghosts. Seriously, yes sometimes she calls them vampires but if you pay attention she is clearly talking about spirits. Here is a clip where she talks about feeling ghosts touch her.

Her latest video was so good it got this warning on it with a link to a suicide prevention line placed there by youtube. She is correct though when she says anas tend to be very uptight and avoid social interactions while bulimics are hot messes. But she takes it to a weird extreme and says anas shouldn't leave the house because they might get raped at a club.

This is the video where she explains about her encounters with "vampires" aka ghosts.

And this one she explains she was a functional crack head

But I would like to stress most of her content is anachan/bulimic shit here is one as an example

 

[FatalTater]

Hey nonas I would like to introduce you all to Jenn Bridges or Dorian

I've been watching that channel for ages. A lot has been deleted but my favorite videos were the ones where she would get drunk off her ass and rant and ramble and just be hilarious. There's a natural wit to Dorian but you can't let yourself forget that she's every bit as autistic/schizo as Chris Chan.

She will tell the truth about drugs. It's incredibly refreshing to have an honest take on it that isn't candy coated or pushing an agenda.

And yeah, becoming anorexic as a way to get doctors/parents to notice that there's something wrong with you when no one wants to take mental stuff seriously makes a lot of sense, in a way.

 

[TokiBun]

I've been watching that channel for ages. A lot has been deleted but my favorite videos were the ones where she would get drunk off her ass and rant and ramble and just be hilarious. There's a natural wit to Dorian but you can't let yourself forget that she's every bit as autistic/schizo as Chris Chan.

She will tell the truth about drugs. It's incredibly refreshing to have an honest take on it that isn't candy coated or pushing an agenda.

And yeah, becoming anorexic as a way to get doctors/parents to notice that there's something wrong with you when no one wants to take mental stuff seriously makes a lot of sense, in a way.

Huh, I didn’t see her as all that crazy but maybe I haven’t seen enough of her videos? I enjoy her YouTube channel from what little I’ve seen. The way she talks about her experience and why anyone would want to be in this kind of community was fascinating to me. Until I listened to her stuff I didn’t realize there were people out there with a starvation fetish
So yeah, maybe she is a cow but what little I’ve seen it’s been interesting to hear someone mentally and physically ill just share an experience and letting listeners draw their own conclusions.

 

[Lep in the hood]

Dorian is great and I have been binging on her videos but she is 100% insane. She used to do something called injection roulette which almost killed her

But to avoid getting too off topic I have been lurking myproana.com now renamed to edsupportfourms and here is a short story of one user who's drinking and ED keeps landing her in the hospital where she then takes body checks and cries about being forced to gain weight. As told by 3 images



I could pretend I feel bad for this grown woman who has been doing this for years but......

 

[Windsock]

Dorian is great and I have been binging on her videos but she is 100% insane.

You should make a thread for her, Dorian looks like a hoot , her cycles of weight gain and loss are intense.

 

[Lep in the hood]

You should make a thread for her, Dorian looks like a hoot , her cycles of weight gain and loss are intense.

I never made a thread before and it looks like a lot. But if anyone more experienced and knowledgeable than me would like to please feel free to add me to a pm chain and I can drop the stuff I found on her. Nothing super great just the highlights of her videos and Instagram posts.
Mods if this is off topic please feel free to delete this.

 

[TokiBun]

Dorian is great and I have been binging on her videos but she is 100% insane. She used to do something called injection roulette which almost killed her

But to avoid getting too off topic I have been lurking myproana.com now renamed to edsupportfourms and here is a short story of one user who's drinking and ED keeps landing her in the hospital where she then takes body checks and cries about being forced to gain weight. As told by 3 images
View attachment 3744563
View attachment 3744564
View attachment 3744562
I could pretend I feel bad for this grown woman who has been doing this for years but......

Well I guess it’s nice to know that heroin chic doesn’t look good on everybody

 

[Sissyagamben]

Dorian is great and I have been binging on her videos but she is 100% insane. She used to do something called injection roulette which almost killed her

But to avoid getting too off topic I have been lurking myproana.com now renamed to edsupportfourms and here is a short story of one user who's drinking and ED keeps landing her in the hospital where she then takes body checks and cries about being forced to gain weight. As told by 3 images
View attachment 3744563
View attachment 3744564
View attachment 3744562
I could pretend I feel bad for this grown woman who has been doing this for years but......

Bad alcoholic, a bottle of vodka in 3 days? She need to get the numbers up (or down?) for more sympathy points, equivalent of 10 drinks a day ain much at all if she’s drinking all day. Even she’s not eating n weighs nothing. How is she this bad at getting attention from self harm, it’s her whole gig ffs, if it was me I’d say I’m chugging 2L of liquor a day damn

 

[FatalTater]

I was looking at Of Herbs And Altars channel and ... there's just nothing left is there. I knew a lot had been taken down but jeez. All the really fun things including one vlog that was guaranteed to cheer me up no matter what, just gone.

If there are any Dorian videos that you like, I suggest downloading them somewhere since purging isn't just for the eating disordered person's food, I guess.

 

[WonderWino]

I get the feeling these people would see a description of the diet provided to jews in the warsaw ghetto designed to slowly starve people to death and claim its too high in calories and would make them fat

I also wonder if any of them realize that a common side effect of long term starvation in its final stages is a severely swollen stomach that makes people look fat. Must be natures way of saying fuck you to these idiots and making them spend their last days looking fat

 

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

I get the feeling these people would see a description of the diet provided to jews in the warsaw ghetto designed to slowly starve people to death and claim its too high in calories and would make them fat

I also wonder if any of them realize that a common side effect of long term starvation in its final stages is a severely swollen stomach that makes people look fat. Must be natures way of saying fuck you to these idiots and making them spend their last days looking fat

Some of them do understand that their behavior is irrational. Some realize that they aren't, in fact, fat but are actually dangerously underweight and their bodies are destroyed.

The thing that makes anorexia nervosa so deadly, though, is that even when a patient is aware that her behavior will kill her and she wants to stop, she's often not capable of doing so. Starvation is an addiction like any other.

Edited to add that many people misunderstand dopamine as the "euphoria" or "feel-good" neurotransmitter. That's certainly a component of dopamine neurobiology, but it's more accurate to think about it as a "keep doing this" neurotransmitter. Starvation engages dopaminergic neurons, reinforcing the behavior.

 

[DoorPost101]

Edited to add that many people misunderstand dopamine as the "euphoria" or "feel-good" neurotransmitter. That's certainly a component of dopamine neurobiology, but it's more accurate to think about it as a "keep doing this" neurotransmitter. Starvation engages dopaminergic neurons, reinforcing the behavior.

I heard someone once say (and it might have been on Kiwi Farms) that while for most people, over-eating calms anxiety, for restrictive diet patients, starvation calms the anxiety. They were approaching anorexia as a severe, catastrophic form of anxiety (which I am not qualified enough to say is right or wrong) but it made sense. I, personally, could never be relaxed or calm if I'd gone a few days without eating, but for anorexics, it DOES seem to soothe them.

 

[Niuhp]

I heard someone once say (and it might have been on Kiwi Farms) that while for most people, over-eating calms anxiety, for restrictive diet patients, starvation calms the anxiety.

I believe a lot of self-destructive behaviours like under or overeating, cutting, self medicating etc. provide that feeling of calmness because they provide a sense of control. They may not get that they're purposefully triggering a dopamine response, but they do know that it makes them feel 'better' and they've learned they can choose when they can feel that way if they commit to the behaviour.

I don't have a link on hand, but if you can handle Dorian's more prosey videos, she talks about how that sense of control starts to feel like power. You can find a lot of anas out there talking about how they loved feeling like they had power over their minds in choosing not to eat, and power over their bodies when they see results. I can see that distortion being pretty appealing, and they don't start seeing the bigger downsides until they're already well entrenched and they idea of giving up control is unthinkable.

 

[Ophelia Jones]

heard someone once say (and it might have been on Kiwi Farms) that while for most people, over-eating calms anxiety, for restrictive diet patients, starvation calms the anxiety

It's also because in anorexics the levels of neuropeptides become abnormal, reinforcing the auto-addiction. This includes certain neuropeptides related to appetite control such as NYP and POMC. As well as Cortisol (Hormone produced in times of stress for stress resistance) as well and beta endorphins (body's natural painkiller)

https://doi.org/10.1016/0024-3205(87)90533-9

 

[MPA addict]

It's a real issue and they now go over to TikTok to glamourize their condition. I have recently found this one who appears to be well on their way of being the UK's version of Eugenia Cooney
https://www.tiktok.com/@parispoptart

 

[Ms. Bitters]

It's a real issue and they now go over to TikTok to glamourize their condition. I have recently found this one who appears to be well on their way of being the UK's version of Eugenia Cooney
https://www.tiktok.com/@parispoptart

Nah, she doesn't have Eugenia's signature denial about her current condition. This is just your run-of-the-mill sad skelly eating salad and crying.

 

[DoorPost101]

It's a real issue and they now go over to TikTok to glamourize their condition. I have recently found this one who appears to be well on their way of being the UK's version of Eugenia Cooney
https://www.tiktok.com/@parispoptar

I remember her from the /snow anorexia threads, early days of those threads years ago. She went through this period where she'd go out with her family and mouth tiny bites of mall food (not eating them, just moving her lips over it) and do very creepy dances. We could never figure if she was trying to feign joy as to not upset her caretakers or if she was trying to burn off the calories she might have ingested by tasting food. Sad she's still doing this. Doesn't look like she'll ever recover.

 

[often puzzled]

It's a real issue and they now go over to TikTok to glamourize their condition. I have recently found this one who appears to be well on their way of being the UK's version of Eugenia Cooney
https://www.tiktok.com/@parispoptart

Paris Melody Raven is a real classic.

Paris has been like this for ages. She's been doing horrifying food dances for years, holding up the foods and not really eating them. As someone else mentioned, she's been a longtime feature on /snow. She's diagnosed with BPD (and actually admits it, which is somewhat rare). She's been banned from TikTok multiple times but is back on right now. She also lost her Instagram at one point, and many of her more classic posts were lost with it. She's currently also on Twitter.

There's a news article about her jump from the bridge. I'll edit it in if I can find it. Images below the spoiler are five years old and indiscriminately lifted from lolcow-- she's never changed and never will.

Spoiler: classic anachan

Edit: as many times as I've come across that article, I can't find it now. She's British, and I think the article has something in the title about how the road was closed because of her jump. It happened years ago, maybe as much as a decade ago. She still lives at home with her mom. Her brother (formerly her sister) did live with them but may have since moved out. The mother supposedly filmed all the food dancing videos.

 

[blacksun]

Hey nonnas I would like to introduce you all to Jenn Bridges or Dorian (pretend name) Bridges

Is this the same girl who talked about how anorexia forums had an overlap with pedophiles since a lot of pedophiles went after anorexic girls as a legal outlet (since they look the closest to underdeveloped)? If so, she is right. I get veryyy weirded out when I see some men obsess over *very thin* women to the point where they make ana jokes. I notice that these men tend to obsess over youth and defend specific paraphilias. I dealt with an ED, though I thankfully never gotten to that point, I just have talked to these types of men.