Opinion Republicans Don't Understand What Furries Are, And That Should Tell Us Everything

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Republicans Don't Understand What Furries Are, And That Should Tell Us Everything​

For quite some time now, sitting Republicans, Republican candidates, and conservatives all over have been desperately doubling down on their insistence that there are children "identifying" as "furries" who are being accommodated at school with litter boxes in the hallways.

It is actually incredible that anyone believes this. It's less believable than practically any other urban legend to make the rounds in decades. Steve from Blues Clues dying of a heroin overdose? More believable. Paul from The Wonder Years is Marilyn Manson? Sure, why not? If you say Bloody Mary in the mirror three times will the former Queen of England appear and murder you? Could happen!
Teachers do keep litter around at schools, but it's not for this. It's actually in case kids are trapped in classrooms for a long period of time during an active shooter situation. But that's not what we're gonna talk about right now. At least not until I finish the video I am making to announce the official rules of my $100 (Plus Owning A Lib, I Guess) Litter Boxes In Schools Challenge, inspired by the late James Randi.

No, we're gonna talk about the fact that somehow, these people are living in the year 2022 and still somehow don't know what the hell a furry actually is — to the point where they think that:

A) There are child furries

B) Furry is a thing people "identify" as

C) Furries actually believe they are the sort of animal they dress up as

D) Furries go around dressing up as their fursona literally all of the time

D) Furries use litter boxes

Admittedly, I don't know how one goes to the bathroom in public in a giant mascot costume. I can't imagine it's a good or easy time, but I'm also a person who won't even wear rompers. Maybe there's like a flap at the bottom like Dr. Dentons? I couldn't tell you! All I can tell you is that they don't use litter boxes, because of how they are humans.

Since the 2000s, there have been an incredible number of television shows, specials, documentaries, articles etc. on furries. Several of them on both MTV and TLC. The only things there were more of these sorts of things on were purity balls and Quiverfull families with a million kids (and one child molester).

It is also entirely possible to just Google and find out what furries are if one is somehow unclear. They choose not to.

Clearly, the good conservatives of red, red Mississippi know how to type it into the PornHub search bar, at least ...
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What I'm saying here is that even if one somehow spent the last 20 years under a rock or being Amish, it is very easy to find out what a damn furry is and is not. They don't bother. As with everything else, this is something that could be corrected just by learning a little bit about the thing they are supposedly mad at and using the tiniest bit of critical thinking skills to determine if it could possibly be true.

Usually when the Right finds out they've been hoaxed again, they like to say "Well the fact that we believed it tells you a lot about this society and how bad you all have gotten!" But the only thing it tells us is that they are very easily fooled.
 
You don't need to be a republican to know what sort of degenerate subcultures exist beneath the mantle of furries. Tell any layperson about yiff and they'll hear TMI than they'd ever want to.

Whomever wrote this article is a reprobate. It's no surprise it origibated from the internet tabloid rag of Wonkette.
 
Child furries? Impossibru. All online dens of degeneracy require a driver's license to get in.

People identify as furries? Ha ha, you must have confused it with two-spirits.
 
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Every furry I have ever known has been a die-hard Evangelical Baptist
No joke, I know a furry that's a Mormon currently out on a mission.

He's an MLP-loving turbofag...that's a goddamned Mormon. He's very definitely retarded and in another reality was the high school jock. Big, blonde, built like a brick shithouse, but gay as fuck, loves cartoon horses, and yet is a Mormon. The fuck.
 
No joke, I know a furry that's a Mormon currently out on a mission.

He's an MLP-loving turbofag...that's a goddamned Mormon. He's very definitely retarded and in another reality was the high school jock. Big, blonde, built like a brick shithouse, but gay as fuck, loves cartoon horses, and yet is a Mormon. The fuck.
Lucky for him he didn't live in Dearborn.

Btw, will that guy explain furries to Muslims? Press "x" for doubt.
 
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somehow don't know what the hell a furry actually is — to the point where they think that:

A) There are child furries (yes)

B) Furry is a thing people "identify" as (furry pride!)

C) Furries actually believe they are the sort of animal they dress up as (check. Sparxx/ BVDGRRL)

D) Furries go around dressing up as their fursona literally all of the time (see above)

E) Furries use litter boxes (yes yes yes yes diapers too!)

If you think points A-E are false you clearly do not know furries at all.
 
I wouldn't consider politicians to understand shit from scum regardless of allegiance. You think they're going to care about wannabe animal people who like to do nothing but fuck all day? Even normal people don't understand furries.
 
I wouldn't consider politicians to understand shit from scum regardless of allegiance. You think they're going to care about wannabe animal people who like to do nothing but fuck all day? Even normal people don't understand furries.
You know some politicians want that expensive fursuit money to translate into ludicrous donor money.
 
Admittedly, I don't know how one goes to the bathroom in public in a giant mascot costume. I can't imagine it's a good or easy time, but I'm also a person who won't even wear rompers.
Robyn, who the fuck cares what you know or do?

Not even your cat does.

The only things there were more of these sorts of things on were purity balls and Quiverfull families with a million kids (and one child molester).
Whereas the number of furry child molesters is demonstrably >1.
 
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The day the LGBT movement accepted furries was the day that it truly died.
I don't know who or what is responsible for the sudden rash of LGBTQIA...W...B...PP(...) advocates forcefully hitching themselves with the furry boat and electing to die on the furry hill since-- I think this kind of apologia from the movement started coming up since last year.
 
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