Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[S.C.U.D.]

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I love how the most basic of ribbing gets such a harsh response from him. Compare him to a pumpkin? That's a felony, child. Call him Rick? The death penalty is too good for you, stalker. Ask him how his day was? Wait for the knock.

 

[Flávia’s Cleaning Service]

Whoever copies my works of art to that inferior forum!

"Dear Kiwi Forums
My feelings are very hurt that you criticized my bit making fun of a fat man on the internet. I'll have you know I spent 8 years in college studying to be a detractor online, and my machinations are far beyond your PUNY COMPREHENSION, chil-uh, I mean faggot.

- I sound nothing like Patrick, child. If you think I wouldn't get dumped, you're a moron.

- I already did what you said. You're dead wrong as always, Kiwi Farmer.

- You're not funny atalker, I'm funny. I'm a published troll, with an online following. I'm an O&A forum firebrand!

You're going to prison, Kiwi Farmer.

Love, SpaceEdge"

To whoever copies his "work" to kiwi? Well that's embarrassing.

You’re gay.

 

[Simon]

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He's such an unoriginal cunt. Get some new retorts, fat pat.

 

[Table Country]

I don't get the weird defensiveness surrounding this SpaceEdge guy and I don't care. Can we go back to making fun of a fat man? I promise I won't bring up Bono again.

 

[The I Scream Man]

I don't get the weird defensiveness surrounding this SpaceEdge guy and I don't care. Can we go back to making fun of a fat man? I promise I won't bring up Bono again.

Everybody's doing a bit right now, it'll be over soon

 

[Uncle Ted]

Patrick Tomlinson is a fat homo
Who is friendly with quite a few chomos
He likes black children best
But he doesn't molest
He just grinds them all up til they're no mo'

The limericks will continue until morale improves.

 

[Die Dunkle Maus]

PAT a short story by Die Dunkle Maus

After a days-long bender of Twitter, cheap beer, and pepperoni of unknown pedigree, Mr. Tomlinson went to the doctor for an upset stomach.

"Doctor baby child, my tummy wummy hurtables"

"Here's a referral for you, ma'am" the doctor says helpfully, handing Pat a sheet of paper.

"What? You stupid child baby child, this is a referral to obstetrician?!?! I'm not pregnant!?! And I'm not a gross girl, I'm a TOUGH BOY!!!"

"Oh dear god" the doctor says. "I'm so sorry, excuse me".

The doctor shuffles out of the room, coughing wetly, and locks himself in the bathroom. Unable to coax out the physician, the staff finally get maintenance to open the door.

The doctor killed himself.

 

[Flávia’s Cleaning Service]

You know what, you guys are right. The poetry shit is much better Patposting content than anything SpaceEdge cooks up.

 

[Maude Snew]

I hear he's working on his memoirs but IN SPACE. Working title is The Negrophage.

 

[James done did it]

Becoming a character in the Patrick Tomlinson extended universe is a fate worse than death.

 

[Maude Snew]

Becoming a character in the Patrick Tomlinson extended universe is a fate worse than death.

You have to extend pretty far too to even find space that's not taken up by his blubber. On account of his massive, possibly even titanic girth.

 

[Torque Wheeler]

Kevin Gibes as the inflated universe. What would Patrick have?

The bloated pepperoniverse?

 

[Terrifying Organisms]

I am seriously getting tired of your HAES propaganda, trying to cover up how fat this fucking monster is. Nobody is fooled by your act.

The idea of a HAES Fatrick made me laugh.

 

[Die Dunkle Maus]

Fuck, man, come on I just ate.

I don't feel very good.

 

[Laquisha Guntermensch]

SpaceEdge hates haiku
That fucker has better bits
But I can't stop now

Spoiler: More

Tactical reloads
Murder bike on fawkin' screen
Hunchback murderer

To Hooligan's, child
Susan drives toward the meatloaf
Elon Tomlinson

Milwaukee niggers
Jeff Dahmer and Torque Wheeler
tried to eat them up

 

[Mr Moonface]

 

[Table Country]

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MMMMMMMMMHMM, YOU TELL 'EM GURLFREN

 

[Laquisha Guntermensch]

MMMMMMMMMHMM, YOU TELL 'EM GURLFREN

If you need to ask
Tomlinson's gonna child ya
Fat Pat is fresh out

Can somebody photoshop the plate of Hooligan's meatloaf on the brim of this retard's upturned cap? Please and thank you @John Andrews Stan


You're getting warmer
Pat loves to play Find the Meat
He will not find it

 

[Die Dunkle Maus]

Hey guys,

Sorry if I seem kinda bummed out, I've been looking at that photo of Pat in the ocean in its bikini. I'm trying to contribute to the cause, you know, be autistic and notice stuff and say things about it. You guys like that, right? So, anyway, I was checking out that photo of Patrick in that advertisement?

It's not Patrick, or it's some kind of shop. I compared the photo to other photos from his Twitter, and although their bodies match up, the hands aren't the same. Patrick has much smaller hands in real life.

Maybe he shopped his hands to be bigger? I dunno, I'm not the expert.

 

[Perry is straight]

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... So he admits that he loves pedophiles? Finally he's honest about something