My (16F) parents (36 each) became poly 4 years ago, they came to me and explained what it meant to be that, they've been dating the same person (Maddison, 27F) for the past three years and she moved in with us 2 years ago.
She's overall an okay-ish person, but she's very much into being some kind of ''cool mom'' which she will never be for me. My parents relationship with Maddison is very serious, both of my families know her and while not everyone accepts her as a ''real'' part of their marriage, they're okay with her too. For me, she's more like a roommate my parents love rather that a parent figure or someone I have to listen (My dad's is okay with her trying to discipline me, but my mom is not.)
Well two days ago my boyfriend walked me home and I invited him to have a piece of cake since my mom's birthday was the day before and he couldn't come, he said yes and we went inside and that's honestly everything we did, Maddison came an hour after and we were still in the kitchen, eating and watching tiktoks together, I had my head on his shoulder and we were just chilling. She saw us and began to act very weird, she said hi and drank a glass of water, but after 10 minutes she just stood there pretending to watch her phone, but it was pretty obvious she was watching us. My boyfriend felt uncomfortable and he said his goodbyes. When Maddison and I were left alone, she approached me saying it wasn't okay for me being alone with a boy at 16 and that she would appreciate I don't do it again.
I was honestly shocked, my parents know my boyfriend pretty well and more than that, they know me, and I would never betray their trust by doing something I'm not allowed yet just because I was alone, she wanted to keep talking but I cut her off and said that she had no right to try to give me ''the talk'' and she wasn't my parent in any form to try to parent me or give me unsolicited advice, she said she was just trying to help me, but I said she better not and any concern she had, she could talk it to my REAL parents and if they see it fit, they will talk to me, but just because she was dating them both didn't make her mommy two and I went to my room.
This morning, while my dad drove me to school, he said Maddison talked to both of them and my mom decided she overstepped, but that he agreed with her and he would appreciate a heads up when my boyfriend and I are alone and, that if it was oaky for me, I could apologize, but I said I didn't feel like it and he said he was disappointed.
Update
ETA: I have a lot of message, thank you everyone for worrying about me, I'm fine! I'm answering everyone right now and letting them now about the update! As I said, I did notice yesterday that my post was down, but I was honestly so, so tired, that I fell asleep as soon as I could, sorry for worrying you!
Hello, I'm sorry for not posting or saying anything anymore yesterday.
Per my last update, around 5:00 pm my mom got home and 30-or-so later I asked my dad and her if we could talk, Maddison was at the gym so we just sat on the couch and I was honest.
I told my mom what my dad had said in the morning ride and I confessed to my dad that it was unfair that just because Maddison thought that it was ''improper'' of us [my bf and I] to be alone in the house he suddenly changes the game. I've always been completely honest with them, and I reminded them so, I said that, as soon as we got home, I sent them a text telling them that I was already here and that my bf was over, AND HE SAID NOTHING THERE. I also told them that I didn't feel comfortable with Maddison living here and that maybe, I never was, but I was so young to understand what it really meant to have poly parents and while I don't really care for their romantic life, ever since Maddison ''snitched'' on me had made me feel like walking over eggshells in my own house and that my dad saying ''he was disappointed'' felt like Maddison matters more than me in the house.
I've always been a loner, always, I spend time with my parents, yes, but I love to be alone in my room, in the kitchen, in the living room doing my own stuff, I've never had to hide for anything, but Maddison proved that whatever she doesn't like or she thinks I shouldn't be doing, she'll spy and tell and it wasn't fair, because while Maddison is nothing to me and he opinion doesn't matter, I've proved to them that I can be trusted and that I don't do things like that behind their back.
While saying that my voice cracked, and my dad came to my side and hugged me, saying that he was so, so sorry and that I was right. He apologized again for the way he acted in the car and that he should've never said he was disappointed because he wasn't, that he couldn't have asked for a better kid and that he felt so bad for hurting me to the point I had to talk to them alone, he hugged me and my mom just looked at him and said they had to talk to Maddison, alone, because she has said countless of times that she doesn't appreciate her ''giving advice'' or thinking she was some kind of ''responsibility'' over me, she also said that I never, ever have to walk on eggshells here because this is my house and will forever be my house, and if I didn't act shamefully, then I don't have to be ashamed and gave me a kiss on the forehead. She asked me to call my bf so they could apologize to him to and gave us some money to go to Starbucks for a few hours and so we did.
I honestly don't know everything that happened between them and Maddison, but my dad said that he was tired of having to ''please'' to women in his life and that whatever right he did for mom, was a wrong for Maddison and vice versa and that for a while, he has wanted to break that relationship but wasn't sure if my mom wanted to because, despite not agreeing in parenting choices, my mom loved her a lot and it showed. But my mom said she was done too, and they will be attending couples counseling and see where it gets them, they also gave Maddison 2 weeks to move out, but she was already packing when I got home and she went to stay with her parents. She glared at me once and apart from that, didn't even look at me again. So I guess there's that.
That's the UPDATE, my parents broke up with Maddison and I got to talk to them. It's really weird not having her around but I really like it, my mom read the post and some of the responses, my dad decided not to since everything was settled. After reading the post my mom also apologized for bringing Maddison in with me so young and while I said I didn't really mind, she said sorry. Thanks everyone for your support!
