Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[LORD IMPERATOR]

You've said this like a dozen times already and no one's even bringing up politics or sjw bullshit. People are just sick and tired of the sequel and Filoni-pandering horseshit and using faggotry as a shield to mask criticism, especially when more viewers know of all the crap disney has done and all the good ideas from George and better writers that they dropped just to satisfy nuLucasfilm and Filoni's ego.

And hardly anyone gives a shit about Andor or the new Ahsoka show outside of reddit and RT, with even their viewership being at the lowest for any disney wars show so far.

Top Ten | Nielsen

Discover what consumers are watching, playing, and listening to around the world with Nielsen’s Top 10 lists with relevant audience metrics.

www.nielsen.com

Andor Viewership Disappoints Despite a Hefty Budget

A recent study revealed that Andor’s viewership is one of the lowest of all Star Wars shows, scoring significantly below other primary Disney+ hits such as The Mandalorian and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

insidethemagic.net

Andor Achieves The Worst Possible Record For A Star Wars Show

Andor is the one Star Wars show that has managed to hit an all-time low for the franchise on the Disney+ streaming service.

www.giantfreakinrobot.com

Why Andor is Not a Popular Star Wars Series

A recent report suggests Andor is performing below other Star Wars series for views, yet there is more context than the numbers initially indicate.

movieweb.com

Disney Star Wars Declared A "Dead Brand" After 'Andor' Premiere Ratings Revealed By Nielsen

YouTuber Valiant Renegade declared "Disney Star Wars a dead brand" following the release of the premiere ratings for their latest Star Wars series Andor.

boundingintocomics.com

Hell, Tales of the Jedi Baby Ahsoka premiered almost a week ago and no one gives a shit except the most diehard Ahsoka simps while even the usual less Ahsoka-thirsty disneyfans are angry that Filoni introduced even more retcons. Only good to come of it so far is that it pissed off some trannies after a queer-gendered lesbian from the cringy Ashoka novel was ignored. But even then, Filoni could make an episode about bullshit I agree with like Ahsoka sending trannies to the nut house or saying Biden is senile, but that won't stop his writing and ideas from being teenfanfic-tier cringe that constantly has to revolve around his waifu and her friends.

Again, these are the outliers who are pissed off. The average dweeb no longer cares about culture wars and what's canon or not (Disney certainly doesn't care) and they just want to see things go BOOM! now and then when they get back from work or school. It's the Michael Bay effect, except sanitized and without the sex jokes. Hardcore fans of TMNT and the Transformers DESPISE the Michael Bay "adaptations" of their work, just as much as old-school Star Wars fans despise Disney Star Wars. Yet those movies still keep making money because plebs who barely know a thing about TMNT or Transformers keep seeing them and keep paying for them. This is just the Star Wars version of that. The reason why the viewership for Andor was slow (and why it wasn't doing so well, despite some fans of the old SWEU salivating over it like Generation Tech) because it wasn't blowing shit up fast enough, and the story itself relied on a slow burn more reliant on a narrative than action.

You whining at me is misguided, at best. I wasn't saying "OH YEAH, LET'S GO CONSUME MORE FILONI SHIT!" I am explaining why Filoni's work is successful, despite all your complaints that he's taking over the Disney SW universe and shoving Ahsoka into everything he can possibly fit her in. The effectiveness is with Filoni sticking with simple storytelling aspects, identifying good and evil with a basic narrative, as well as him getting some of the gist of the work George Lucas made, (themes such as the temptation of power, or the increasing encroachment of government) while combining it with a flair of a kid-friendly power fantasy, especially since many of the newer fans connect with his characters, like Din Djarin, Ahsoka Tano, Rex, Kanan Jarrus, Sabine Wren, and Hera Syndulla. The power fantasy of being this badass Mando warrior, Jedi, Clone commando, or Rebel leader, without the baggage of decades of lore or more M-rated aspects, giving Filoni and his friends a blank canvas to fill.

In short, it's the SW version of the formula Marvel tried with the Marvel Ultimates line, finally perfected in the scope of a kid's cartoon or a live-action show that can grab the same audiences that were enthralled by Game of Thrones.

The way old-school Star Wars fans complain about Disney Star Wars is exactly the same kind of complaining the Transformers fanbase was doing against the Bayformers films, and it's the same kind of complaining the TMNT fans also made over the Michael Bay TMNT films: basically, they see nothing but a bastardization of what they once loved. The kids who grew up with the G1 Transformers cartoon look at the Bayformers and see nothing but an insult to their childhood. Ditto for the fans of the 1980s TMNT cartoon who saw the TMNT Bay films as an abomination. But the average plebs? They slurp that stuff up and ask for seconds.

It's what happens when Hollywood touches something that belongs to geekdom and tweaks it for general mass-market appeal. The plebs like Ahsoka and Baby Yoda? Fine, they're getting Baby Ahsoka. The plebs and those critics who hate the Prequels like the OT? Fine, they're getting a re-tread of ANH for Episode VII. Kids like the Clone Wars? Fine, they're getting more of that with Tales of the Jedi and the Bad Batch. To us old fans, it's an insult, but to the plebs, it's candy, and they want more.

Most of us fans would rather see a faithful adaptation of something like, say, the Thrawn Trilogy. Or a film series set in the KOTOR-era Mandalorian Wars. Or the actual Tales of the Jedi comics turned into movies or TV shows. But how many people know about things like that, compared to the plebs who consume things like the Filoniverse, the MCU, and the Bayformers films? Not that much. So instead of appealing to a smaller market of nerds who love to complain, they'd rather appeal to a large market of plebs who are A) guaranteed marks, because they love this shit, and B) love simple things that are easy to get.

For example, those Dooku shorts from Tales of the Jedi. They showed an abridged version of Dooku's fall to the Dark Side, and to a lore nut like me, it sometimes felt like they were going too fast. But they did hit the important notes; Dooku sees the Republic's worst sides, sees that the Jedi won't do anything about it and are acting like lobotomized retards following orders from the Senate as if they were programmed battle droids, and when his boy Qui-Gon Jinn dies, that solidifies his decision to turn against the Jedi and the Republic to join the Dark Side. That last part was a bit out of order for fans of the old lore, since the shorts portrayed him as already being in league with Sidious before Qui-Gon died, whereas in the old lore, he didn't join Sidious until AFTER Qui-Gon was dead, because Qui-Gon's death spurred Dooku to quit the Order so he can find the other Sith and kill him to finish what Qui-Gon started, only for that other Sith to find him and convince him they're on the same side.

But do you really think the average person watching on the screen would care about that detail? Not at all. All they see is a Jedi, who's in the right, slowly broken over the course of a few episodes and timeskips due to everything he believed in turning out to be a big, flaccid joke, until he finally falls to the Dark Side, and for the average person watching, it's effective enough, and it gets to the same people who binge-watch Game of Thrones and the Marvel movies. The same people who turned those two series into household names are also addicted by Nu-Wars' main attractions, and it's a formula that Disney is going to continue because it works. Just as the Michael Bay films did.

 

[Sneed F91]

Well, it's been a decade since George Lucas sold Lucasfilm Ltd. to The Walt Disney Company.

Look at where we are now. Star Wars is a fucking joke.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

Well, it's been a decade since George Lucas sold Lucasfilm Ltd. to The Walt Disney Company.

Look at where we are now. What a fucking joke.

Again, blame the RLM/Prequel-hate crowd for it. They're the ones who convinced George that he was such a shit director that anyone else can do a better job with Star Wars. Which led him to sell the whole shebang to what at the time, was the most successful movie company, thanks to the rise of the MCU in the 2010s.

 

[jspit2.0]

Again, blame the RLM/Prequel-hate crowd for it. They're the ones who convinced George that he was such a shit director that anyone else can do a better job with Star Wars. Which led him to sell the whole shebang to what at the time, was the most successful movie company, thanks to the rise of the MCU in the 2010s.

The prequels were bad(Revenge was good), the sequels were worse.

One does not negate the other.

Well, it's been a decade since George Lucas sold Lucasfilm Ltd. to The Walt Disney Company.

Look at where we are now. What a fucking joke.

And no one should ever let George live that down. He wasn't hard up for money. He could have and should have taken less cash and ensured they wouldn't fuck it up. But he had to soothe his ego by getting more than Pixar and Marvel.

I am seeing more "Andor is better" on various sites online and around the fediverse. (Curses kwf going down.) I'm assuming this is just the usual mouse fanboy bullshit? Or is this a case of the gold medal winner at the Special Olympics?

I can't be arsed to watch Mouse Wars at this point, but curious about the state of things these days.

Fuck it, you've given me an excuse to rant. The state of things? Shit.

In the last years following the cancer aids of the rise of Skywalker we've gotten:

MandoWank(Mandalorian/Asohka/Andor/Book of Boba Fett): A literal live action cartoon with all the depth and pathos you'd except from the man who managed to turn the missing chapter in between the darkest chapters in the Star Wars saga into a poorly written fanfic for his orange waifu. But good news! If you liked something, no matter how remote. Dave Filoni will bring back a warped funhouse mirror of it so his characterless muppet OCs can stand beside it for five minutes.

Bad Batch/Tales of the Jedi: Hey fellow kids. Did you like the Clone Wars? No? Well too fucking bad because here's a cartoon made in the same animation style ripping off the A team and making a mess of Star Wars continuity *snickers*. How badly does Dave fuck over Star Wars, do you ask? Well, leaving apart the Ashoka masturabatory episodes that you couldn't pay me to watch, he turns Dooku into someone who was always evil and who was working with Palpatine during Phantom Menace. Oh and he kills Yaddle voiced by cunt Bryce Dallas Howard. Because of course he does.

You're still here? Fuck. Okay. Here's some crappy Japanese animated stories because most of our old audience now prefers to watch foreign cartoons rather than our own shit. The irony of the house of Walt Disney essentially admitting it can't compete in cartoons and needs the Japanese is hilarious. But don't worry. The brilliant minds that gave you Rae Palpatine and Solo a Star Wars story were giving the Japanese the story beats. Woo!

That's it. Ashoka fucking Thono, fuck her I don't care about her last name, is now literally present at every point in the Star Wars saga. She officially outlived everyone. She was there in the Prequels, she beat Darth fucking Maul. She was there in the OT where she fought Darth fucking Vader, and out lived him too. She there in the sequel era but did fuck all. But she outlived Luke, Han and Leia.

That's right guys. No reunion between Harrison, Hamill, and Fisher. But we can have a fucking nightmare fuel inducing Luke talking with the orange bitch after Endor.

 

[Sneed F91]

He could have and should have taken less cash and ensured they wouldn't fuck it up.

I read somewhere that it took Bob Iger a LOT to convince George to sell over a long period of time, and even then considering what Star Wars was worth at the time he undersold the shit out of it. What he should have done is had it written somewhere that they would have been required to use his ideas for the sequels or at least given his approval, but at that point he was beyond caring and just wanted to give the company up. He has his 6 movies. Disney's garbage might as well be poorly written fanfiction. It doesn't matter in the end because he donated most of the money in the sale to charity anyways.

No reunion between Harrison, Hamill, and Fisher.

For some reason people back then didn't give a fuck because they were ecstatic the three of them were in The Force Awakens at all. I was pissed off and disappointed at the time, but most people weren't. It didn't take until TLJ for the shittyness to set in in the fan's minds.

 

[Adamska]

Dave, you can shove your shitty OC in all these TV shows, but until you whine at Mommy Kathy to burn more money for films, she did not appear in any films, ie the major events that people actually watch, and is more a Tom Bombadil to the story than a Gandalf the White. No matter how hard you compare yourself to a man actually brave enough to fight in an actual death war and knew its miseries.

Cope and Seethe you wolfaboo faggot.

 

[Sneed F91]

she did not appear in any films

To be fair, you can hear Ahsoka's voice in TROS when the Jedi Sprits tell Rey how awesome she is during the Palpatine fight. This was only an excuse for Furloni to come out of nowhere and explain how his waifu WASN'T actually dead.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

The prequels were bad(Revenge was good), the sequels were worse.

One does not negate the other.

Again, it's that kind of thinking that landed Star Wars in Disney's lap. And don't think for a second that the other media companies who could've bought Star Wars outside of Disney wouldn't screw it to hell and back, either.

Paramount already made Trek woke back in the 90s, when Picard spends a healthy amount of time knocking capitalism and spirituality, favoring a secularist utopia where they didn't need money, they all just worked for a Tau-esque ideal of a "greater good".

WB is just as woke as Disney, they just throw the non-woke crowd some bones now and then like they did with the Snyder Cut, which Disney also does with modern Star Wars, in the form of things like the Mandalorian, Bad Batch or the Dooku episodes of their Tales of the Jedi cartoon.

But again, it's that endless hatred for the Prequels that pretty much convinced Lucas to sell. People kept telling him he was a shit director, that a dog turd could direct SW movies better than him, so he takes one good look at Disney's success with the MCU, while his company had failed media projects in the form of SWTOR (which was mocked as TORtanic) and the Force Unleashed, so he sold to Disney.

The Phantom Menace was a silly kid's movie with some political commentary, Attack of the Clones was a failed soap opera, but they were still fun movies regardless, more akin to a 5-7 out of 10 if anything else. Shit still blew up, the Jedi battles were amazing, the CGI was good for its time, the best part about them was that they opened up a new era of Star Wars lore and worldbuilding that led to a shit ton of good content. But the movies themselves were merely mediocre, hardly the blasphemies that the Prequel-hate crowd paints them as.

And no one should ever let George live that down. He wasn't hard up for money. He could have and should have taken less cash and ensured they wouldn't fuck it up. But he had to soothe his ego by getting more than Pixar and Marvel.

Because people like you kept telling him he was a shit director and he should pass on the reigns to someone else. So at the time, Disney was making cold, hard cash with the MCU movies, and he'd already worked with them on theme parks, so he sold to them, and you get modern Star Wars.

Fuck it, you've given me an excuse to rant. The state of things? Shit.

In the last years following the cancer aids of the rise of Skywalker we've gotten:

MandoWank(Mandalorian/Asohka/Andor/Book of Boba Fett): A literal live action cartoon with all the depth and pathos you'd except from the man who managed to turn the missing chapter in between the darkest chapters in the Star Wars saga into a poorly written fanfic for his orange waifu. But good news! If you liked something, no matter how remote. Dave Filoni will bring back a warped funhouse mirror of it so his characterless muppet OCs can stand beside it for five minutes.

Granted, they have lots of flaws, but I'd take that over the Mando-wank we got from the old days. At least even non-Mando fans who aren't into blind Jedi-bashing or blind Mando-worship can enjoy it. It shows that A) the Mandalorians are a flawed people who, despite their power, do fuck up now and then, which leads to their ranks getting thinned drastically, a theme even KOTOR played upon, B) Boba Fett is not some god amongst bounty hunters, but a flawed man who's getting old and who is vulnerable to attack if he's not careful, and C) the real effects of the Empire and the Rebels and how the Rebels' escalation against the Empire actually helped cause a lot of the misery that the people suffer under the Empire, which is something ANH showed with Tarkin blowing up Alderaan as a result of its princess being a part of the Rebellion.

Bad Batch/Tales of the Jedi: Hey fellow kids. Did you like the Clone Wars? No? Well too fucking bad because here's a cartoon made in the same animation style ripping off the A team and making a mess of Star Wars continuity *snickers*. How badly does Dave fuck over Star Wars, do you ask? Well, leaving apart the Ashoka masturabatory episodes that you couldn't pay me to watch, he turns Dooku into someone who was always evil and who was working with Palpatine during Phantom Menace. Oh and he kills Yaddle voiced by cunt Bryce Dallas Howard. Because of course he does.

The TCW fans are about as common as fucking water nowadays. Like them or not, they're here to stay, and Disney will obviously pander to them the same way Batman fans were pandered to by DC for a VERY long time before the comics went full SJW.

I mean, shit, with how the TCW fans are so prevalent in the modern fandom these days, I'm surprised it's just the Bad Batch we're getting a CGI cartoon out of. Dave's probably working on more TCW-style content on what Ahsoka did between Order 66 and Rebels, and that Tales of the Jedi short with her decapitating an Inquisitor was Dave testing the waters to see if people will line up for more Ahsoka. Which, given the fan reaction to that, they probably will.

You're still here? Fuck. Okay. Here's some crappy Japanese animated stories because most of our old audience now prefers to watch foreign cartoons rather than our own shit. The irony of the house of Walt Disney essentially admitting it can't compete in cartoons and needs the Japanese is hilarious. But don't worry. The brilliant minds that gave you Rae Palpatine and Solo a Star Wars story were giving the Japanese the story beats. Woo!

The weebs liked it, the casuals liked it, so Disney is liable to order more. I've even seen figures and statues coming out in stores based on the characters on those shorts, which begs the question, why make figures and statuettes of characters that came out in shorts? Unless they're planning sequels to them, which they just might.

That's it. Ashoka fucking Thono, fuck her I don't care about her last name, is now literally present at every point in the Star Wars saga. She officially outlived everyone. She was there in the Prequels, she beat Darth fucking Maul. She was there in the OT where she fought Darth fucking Vader, and out lived him too. She there in the sequel era but did fuck all. But she outlived Luke, Han and Leia.

K'Kruhk would like to know your position. He fought in the Clone Wars, hid during the Galactic Civil War, emerged after the fall of the Empire, and became a major player in the post-Sith/Imperial-War galaxy, 137 years after the first Death Star exploded. Him, Empatojayos Brand, Qu Rahn (he died AFTER the Battle of Endor, when Jerec was actively searching for the Valley of the Jedi), Olee Starstone, Celeste Morne, Quinlan Vos, among others, are members of a not-so-exclusive club of Jedi who not only survived Order 66, but were never confirmed killed by the Emperor or his agents before and during the events of the OT.

Ahsoka surviving all the way beyond Endor seems overkill for casuals, but to EU fans who have followed the tales of Jedi who have done more than that, it's child's play. It seems highly hypocritical for someone to hate on Filoni for doing to his Jedi waifu what many authors did for their Jedi characters in their stories. When the EU started, the idea of a Jedi surviving past the movies outside of Luke was absurd, they even noted it when Joruus C'baoth revealed himself, and how weird it was that a Jedi didn't help out during the war with the Empire. But years of stories being added upon the canon, and you had no shortage of Jedi who survived what was supposed to be an end-all event.

And it's not like this is the first time someone took a peripheral character and made them into someone just as important as the OT cast. I mean, Wedge Antilles pretty much went from "side bro who helps Luke and Lando" to "guy responsible for many of the Rebellion's best victories". Kyle Katarn went from "hired gun the Alliance uses for precise strikes" to "Jedi Chuck Norris who guts Dark Jedi like they're punks who owe him some money". Ahsoka is merely the latest in a long line of side characters who wound up stealing the show because of how popular and involved they became.

That's right guys. No reunion between Harrison, Hamill, and Fisher. But we can have a fucking nightmare fuel inducing Luke talking with the orange bitch after Endor.

Again, you have the Prequel-haters to blame for Disney getting the film license. Not to mention that not that many people protested against the idea of JJ Abrams directing a Star Wars film, which is why you got no reunion between the "big three" of Star Wars, because JJ's sub-par characters couldn't possibly compete with the likes of Luke, Leia, or Han for the audience's attention, so they had to keep Luke until the end of the movie lest he steal the spotlight from Rey and Finn.

Dave, you can shove your shitty OC in all these TV shows, but until you whine at Mommy Kathy to burn more money for films, she did not appear in any films, ie the major events that people actually watch, and is more a Tom Bombadil to the story than a Gandalf the White. No matter how hard you compare yourself to a man actually brave enough to fight in an actual death war and knew its miseries.

Cope and Seethe you wolfaboo faggot.

With all the Ahsoka fervor, you can expect Kathy to put Ahsoka in their next feature film, or at least put in something that alludes to her, in order to placate fans and salvage whatever small dignity the film franchise still has left.

 

[Bulk Bogan]

@LORD IMPERATOR
"Again, it's that kind of thinking that landed Star Wars in Disney's lap."

Can we please stop with this? Us not liking the prequels enough wasn't some sin that God is punishing all of humanity for, that you can now atone for by repenting. They weren't good movies, and even if somehow me saying that 10 years ago is what got us Ratwars the damage has been done, nothing worse can happen. They were fun movies, occasionally even on purpose, but a decade of gaslighting from arr slash prequelmemes doesn't change the fact that the movies weren't good.

We did not and do not owe this commercial product our love nor our money.

 

[LORD IMPERATOR]

@LORD IMPERATOR
"Again, it's that kind of thinking that landed Star Wars in Disney's lap."

Can we please stop with this? Us not liking the prequels enough wasn't some sin that God is punishing all of humanity for, that you can now atone for by repenting. They weren't good movies, and even if somehow me saying that 10 years ago is what got us Ratwars the damage has been done, nothing worse can happen. They were fun movies, occasionally even on purpose, but a decade of gaslighting from arr slash prequelmemes doesn't change the fact that the movies weren't good.

We did not and do not owe this commercial product our love nor our money.

It's the difference between not liking something, and constantly demonizing the man until his morale broke.

Like it or not, like all of us, George Lucas is just human. So when he gets a near-endless torrent of people shitting on him, people taking his mediocre prequels and describing them as abominations against God, people saying that he's the worst, that he should step down and let others make Star Wars movies, then yes, he is going to step down and sell the damn thing. And he sold it to Disney because many of the same people bitching about how much he sucks thought that Disney's MCU was hot shit in those days. So of course, he sold it to Disney.

Most mediocre movies are forgotten. Like say, the Fifth Element. Or Batman Forever. Or the Chronicles of Riddick. Or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II. Lucas' Prequels, outside of Revenge of the Sith, were mediocre. The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones had obvious, glaring flaws, but they also had a lot of redeemable factors and enjoyable things about them, from Christopher Lee's acting, Ian McDiarmid's performance, the lightsaber duels, the large-scale battles, the worldbuilding that set itself up to create many wonderful games, novels, and comics to expand the lore, there were equal parts good and bad, but people acted like it was only bad, so of course, Lucas sold his property thanks to all the pressure.

And it's still fucking hilarious that the same people who agreed with how Lucas was endlessly shat upon after the release of the Prequels are now complaining about Disney Star Wars. It's like setting your own house on fire, then complaining about the cold winter nights after your house has been reduced into a pile of ash.

 

[Ghostse]

The prequels were bad(Revenge was good), the sequels were worse.

Individually, The Prequels are good movies that were executed poorly.
All together, the Prequels are great cohesive trilogy that suffered from specific portions being done poorly. There's room for improvement I've bloviated about, but its still a good story.

You can fix the prequels with a few splices and re-dubbed dialogues because Lucas knows how to set up a shot and tell a story at the macro level.
The sequels - as Star Wars films let alone sequels and forget about as a cohesive whole - are unsalvagable, because JJ is a hack and Roundhead is a fart-huffer.

 

[Creep3r]

More like people have replaced just doing drugs with watching sub-mediocre shows just for the brand label for no reason I can think of that doesn't involve autism and addiction.

Addiction to buying toys and coomerism for orange booty. Look at any of the comments surrounding the new Ahsoka show and its all just borderline coomers worshiping Ahsoka and pointing out how she's literally god-tier for doing stuff as a baby that Anakin could never do as proof that she's the real chosen one. And even then the show's ratings and viewership are still abysmal much like Andor's with Disney Wars shit per Nielsen ratings and comment bots proving that this whole thing was a silent fart, smelly but hardly noticed.

The prequels were bad(Revenge was good), the sequels were worse.

One does not negate the other.



And no one should ever let George live that down. He wasn't hard up for money. He could have and should have taken less cash and ensured they wouldn't fuck it up. But he had to soothe his ego by getting more than Pixar and Marvel.



Fuck it, you've given me an excuse to rant. The state of things? Shit.

In the last years following the cancer aids of the rise of Skywalker we've gotten:

MandoWank(Mandalorian/Asohka/Andor/Book of Boba Fett): A literal live action cartoon with all the depth and pathos you'd except from the man who managed to turn the missing chapter in between the darkest chapters in the Star Wars saga into a poorly written fanfic for his orange waifu. But good news! If you liked something, no matter how remote. Dave Filoni will bring back a warped funhouse mirror of it so his characterless muppet OCs can stand beside it for five minutes.

Bad Batch/Tales of the Jedi: Hey fellow kids. Did you like the Clone Wars? No? Well too fucking bad because here's a cartoon made in the same animation style ripping off the A team and making a mess of Star Wars continuity *snickers*. How badly does Dave fuck over Star Wars, do you ask? Well, leaving apart the Ashoka masturabatory episodes that you couldn't pay me to watch, he turns Dooku into someone who was always evil and who was working with Palpatine during Phantom Menace. Oh and he kills Yaddle voiced by cunt Bryce Dallas Howard. Because of course he does.

You're still here? Fuck. Okay. Here's some crappy Japanese animated stories because most of our old audience now prefers to watch foreign cartoons rather than our own shit. The irony of the house of Walt Disney essentially admitting it can't compete in cartoons and needs the Japanese is hilarious. But don't worry. The brilliant minds that gave you Rae Palpatine and Solo a Star Wars story were giving the Japanese the story beats. Woo!

That's it. Ashoka fucking Thono, fuck her I don't care about her last name, is now literally present at every point in the Star Wars saga. She officially outlived everyone. She was there in the Prequels, she beat Darth fucking Maul. She was there in the OT where she fought Darth fucking Vader, and out lived him too. She there in the sequel era but did fuck all. But she outlived Luke, Han and Leia.

That's right guys. No reunion between Harrison, Hamill, and Fisher. But we can have a fucking nightmare fuel inducing Luke talking with the orange bitch after Endor.

There's no fucking shame.

Again, blame the RLM/Prequel-hate crowd for it. They're the ones who convinced George that he was such a shit director that anyone else can do a better job with Star Wars. Which led him to sell the whole shebang to what at the time, was the most successful movie company, thanks to the rise of the MCU in the 2010s.

The prequel hate crowd gave rise to an annoying vocal faction that shamelessly did a dickriding U turn the minute Disney bought it and fell for Daisy Ridley for being "charismatic", yes, but they were not the reason George sold out ffs. The man had too much pride for that. He hated their whining at times, but the real reason he sold was due to poor staff decisions and financial difficulties within Lucasfilm combined with further difficulties in finding a proper successor, with the primary catalyst that kickstarted the whole thing being that Hollywood had for years been looking to cut ties with George's companies like ILM, THX and others so as to no longer be dependent on him for sfx, hq audio, etc. Scumbag Hollywood companies and studios ultimately succeeded and had already started developing cheaper alternatives to drive George out and put an end to his independence from them since they could never stand the fact that he worked against the whims of the guilds and party line. This caused more problems which led to the fall of Lucasarts as well and ultimately to George selling out and receiving multiple offers in the hopes that he could get help from the new owners in funding his live action shows like Underworld. FOX seemed like the best bet but he chose Disney due to still distrusting FOX and thinking that years of friendly relations with Disney (along with encouragement from Kennedy and Spielberg who only did so because Kennedy was an opportunistic rat and Spielberg wanted his little bastard JJ to direct) ensured that he and his franchise would get the treatment they deserved, fund his ideas and respect his creative decisions.

Ultimately none of that happened and it was a lost cause as nothing came of it, with him cutting most creative ties but still showing up for production shit on occasion because his stepson works for Disney and because he still has a big stake in the company as a major shareholder now as part of the initial deal. So he's just regulated to passive-aggressively dismissing them whenever possible while still trying to not outright bash them like a demoralized dependent because he knows he fucked himself creatively but can't do anything about it so as to keep getting the shit tons of money for his and his wife's philanthropic projects since Disney now owns every other former source of income he had.

And it's still fucking hilarious that the same people who agreed with how Lucas was endlessly shat upon after the release of the Prequels are now complaining about Disney Star Wars. It's like setting your own house on fire, then complaining about the cold winter nights after your house has been reduced into a pile of ash.

Because the same idiots praising Disney Wars now are the same gaggle who wasted no time bashing old Star Wars endlessly when George was in charge and that the supposed prequel defenders who claim to want to defend George's vision now (but are in reality just Ahsoka simps) blatantly ignoring that there's zero input from George or his former editors now aside from Rogue Furloni and lone concept artists, to the point where even the man himself has dismissed this new trash as having nothing to do with him multiple times outside of contractual and financial obligations.

 

[Registration]

I Watched a 4 part 2-3 hour youtube doc/retrospective on transformers and holy shit, you guys have no idea how repetitive it was with the plots. It was always megatron vs optimus, then galvatron appears then the same shit. my own knowledge of transformers was the old CG 2000s one and that anime with the shark but holy shit, the ammount of repetition of the same plot and characters make me even glad that SW wasnt milked to death like transformers.

After watching the last part I understood one thing: old transformers fans are manchildren, there is no way someone who consumed all those products wouldnt be burned out to Oblivion after that many repetition. The beast wars was a glimpse of new ideas in the sea of same shit, and even in that there was also megatron shenanigans

It made disney wars retreads looks tame in comparisson.

 

[Adamska]

To be fair, you can hear Ahsoka's voice in TROS when the Jedi Sprits tell Rey how awesome she is during the Palpatine fight. This was only an excuse for Furloni to come out of nowhere and explain how his waifu WASN'T actually dead.

I wonder how many days in a row he had to write whining letters to Mommy Kathy or scream at Jar Jar Abrams to get that ADR'ed in at the very last second. Because this really highlights how pathetic he is, since she still does fuck all and it ironically gives more bones to her being DEAD.

 

[Imperial Citizen]

You can fix the prequels with a few splices and re-dubbed dialogues because Lucas knows how to set up a shot and tell a story at the macro level.

One idea I had for a revision was to have the clones be introduced at the end of the Phantom Menace. Palpatine declares a need for a Grand Army of the Republic and puts his trust in the new clone armies from Kamino.

The Clone Wars effectively start at the end of the Phantom Menace, with anti-pirate action and stabilization efforts in the mid rim before gradually occupying independent outer rim worlds. These efforts really push worlds to unite under the CIS as well as slowly normalize the militarized state that would become the Empire.

The Jedi don’t get entirely involved until Episode 2, when they believe that the Sith are in league with the Separatists. Palpatine uses this obsession with the Sith through propaganda to subtlety make the Jedi appear as separate from the Republic.

I’d make the “actual” Clone Wars last 5 years just to prolong the total war aspect of the conflict. Perhaps have Luke and Leia born at the tail end but before Episode 3 so that Luke can have some memory of his mother as he stated in Episode 6.

Overall, the revision would reflect the initial draft of Star Wars, where the Emperor and the Empire was in charge before the Jedi were destroyed. The difference being is that while the Republic is still in charge, it would historically be seen as the Empire as soon as Palpatine became the Supreme Chancellor.

 

[Ensok]

I wonder how many days in a row he had to write whining letters to Mommy Kathy or scream at Jar Jar Abrams to get that ADR'ed in at the very last second. Because this really highlights how pathetic he is, since she still does fuck all and it ironically gives more bones to her being DEAD.

I really, so badly, want someone to write a book or something where she unequivocally dies before the sequel trilogy after Filoni is no longer with Disney. I don't know if that will ever happen, but I want it so bad.

 

[TheAmbiguousLurker]

All I've heard in the praise for Andor is just teenager bullshit, not what merit it has, just a) "It's not the worst thing ever. Why can't you clap for that!" and b) "Oh mah gawd, they said a naughty word in a Star Wars show, and the heroes do the bad things and characters have more than one line of backstory; IT MAKES ME FEEL SO MATURE!."

 

[HandsomeDan]

I will say again I have been enjoying Andor and this is coming from someone who hates everything that comes out of Disney Wars. Yes there are some issues, but so far I have been enjoying seeing parts of the SW galaxy we have not seen before and seeing just how intricate and vast the Imperial control and infrastructure was. The Imperials are also shown as being very competent and in some ways more cold and unsympathetic than frothing evil. I cant just hate for the sake of hating, I am genuinely interested in the story.

Now as for the asohka (however it is spelled) stuff, I am so beyond sick of this character. This character (and all of Filoni's creations) are now in more media and productions than Luke Skywalker or any other OT character. I have a big issue of this.

 

[Commander X]

I've actually enjoyed some parts of Andor but I must look askance at people like this:

My, how could Gilroy get away with making this bold, anti-capitalist statement out of a Disney product? Very sneaky, that one. This is what all media critique will look like after the field is taken over by Letterboxed critics and Film Twitter cinephiles who must type out every title in all-caps and aren't as clever as they believe themselves to be.

 

[HandsomeDan]

I've actually enjoyed some parts of Andor but I must look askance at people like this:

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My, how could Gilroy get away with making this bold, anti-capitalist statement out of a Disney product? Very sneaky, that one. This is what all media critique will look like after the field is taken over by Letterboxed critics and Film Twitter cinephiles who must type out every title in all-caps and aren't as clever as they believe themselves to be.

...wait..."Skeptical of government", so now these people are saying its ok for us to be skeptical of government again?

You are correct though I enjoy the show, but the masterpiece of cinema it surely is not, nor should it be. These people are just saying this because anytime they see something that rises above animated toilets they think it is something deep and mature. of course everything is also fascism as well. Im still waiting for Andor to have a scene where the Empire bans abortion and have these twitter fools say the series is just to real for them to enjoy now. I say this a joke, but remember we learned this year that disny star wars now says that one of the main reasons for the rebellion was anti BLT laws by the Empire, I beleive one character became a rebel because he couldnt marry his boyfriend or some stupid shit like that.