Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

[deepFriedBaka]

And then he could say he didn't have the money because it was stolen through no fault of his own. And they'd have some more shit to argue about. It would have been a far more effective way of playing the "fuck the bitch" game in court.

Of course, for that course of action to actually be viable, Lowtax would've needed to (1) have enough energy to do anything else but pop pills, fatten up on expensive-as-shit pies, and eat shitty gas station sausages that would probably have killed him from the sodium alone, and (2) retain enough mental capacity to understand that there were better legal plays beyond bitching about how life isn't fair and blowing his brains out the second he understood that he wasn't God.

Unfortunately for him, he learned firsthand that the real world isn't just a forum you can ban your way out of, that streaming, drinking, and shoveling garbage down his throat won't make his problem magically go away, and that there were consequences to the actions he took.

 

[Maude Snew]

Unfortunately for him, he learned firsthand that the real world isn't just a forum you can ban your way out of, that streaming, drinking, and shoveling garbage down his throat won't make his problem magically go away, and that there were consequences to the actions he took.

I mean unless you cut your dick off.

 

[Something Awful]

BTW, where did the "goof troop" thing come from? I know it's a cartoon, but is it something Lowtax used to say or just a random joke?

 

[Hot Dog]

Of course, for that course of action to actually be viable, Lowtax would've needed to (1) have enough energy to do anything else but pop pills, fatten up on expensive-as-shit pies, and eat shitty gas station sausages that would probably have killed him from the sodium alone, and (2) retain enough mental capacity to understand that there were better legal plays beyond bitching about how life isn't fair and blowing his brains out the second he understood that he wasn't God.

Unfortunately for him, he learned firsthand that the real world isn't just a forum you can ban your way out of, that streaming, drinking, and shoveling garbage down his throat won't make his problem magically go away, and that there were consequences to the actions he took.

He backed himself into a corner and couldn't run away or delay collections or consequences from his amazing decisions any longer. SA was probably the worst thing that could have happened to him considering how everything turned out.

 

[Ghostse]

BTW, where did the "goof troop" thing come from? I know it's a cartoon, but is it something Lowtax used to say or just a random joke?

Lowtax used it as a wacky zany "ironic" insult, like he did with "grandma".

 

[LordofCringe7206 Vol. 2]

SA was probably the worst thing that could have happened to him considering how everything turned out.

You have to seriously wonder what the trajectory of Rich's life would have been like had Something Awful never took off. I imagine him being a leech that would just mooch off of his mother until the day she died, with him eventually going soon after when he could no longer afford to take care of himself.

At least then he wouldn't have had all this embarrassing shit attached to his name online.

 

[Ancient Pioneer]

BTW, where did the "goof troop" thing come from? I know it's a cartoon, but is it something Lowtax used to say or just a random joke?

People using "goof troop" predates SA and even the cartoon. It was referring to a troop of fuckups, Gomer Pyle style.

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

It was referring to a troop of fuckups

Just like his life.

 

[AnOminous]

People using "goof troop" predates SA and even the cartoon. It was referring to a troop of fuckups, Gomer Pyle style.

The cartoon was named after the saying, but even by then, it would have been the sort of thing only really old people would have said or even heard anyone else say.

 

[polonium]

Herman Miller and Logitech G just dropped a $1,000 gaming chair

That's a pricy gaming chair, but a cheap Herman Miller chair.

www.pcgamer.com

If only lowtax hadn't killed himself

 

[Die Dunkle Maus]

When KF was down, I couldn't lurk this thread with a mixture of joy and horror.

Kind of bummed me out. I went to ED, but it's just not the same.

I had a dream with that creepy plastic-faced blonde in it, that's how much I've been in this thread. She was going to kill me, I just knew it.

 

[Maude Snew]

When KF was down, I couldn't lurk this thread with a mixture of joy and horror.

Kind of bummed me out. I went to ED, but it's just not the same.

I had a dream with that creepy plastic-faced blonde in it, that's how much I've been in this thread. She was going to kill me, I just knew it.

She is a very strong combatant that one. Her only weakness is sweaty toe style. Now that the last true master of that is dead she is unstoppable.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

Poor Dickard. Troons are born on his site, they then proceed "take over" / "take away" his site from him, he blows his legacy money (made from his meager sale of said site) on at least one troon, then he blows his brains out because they "took" everything from him, and as if a man's life is not enough, the troons take away our Dear Overlord's time, that should have gone to do a person stream / tribute to Lowtax on this Halloween.

HAVE YOU NO SHAME, TROONS?
Of course they don't.

If the Lowtax person stream happens in the future, I hope Futuristic Sex Robotz are featured on the intro or outro. They were a nerdcore group(?) that grew out of the forum, a collection of goons iirc. Something like Back in the Day would be apropos:
https://soundcloud.com/user-914255161/back-in-the-day?in=user-914255161/sets/futuristic-sex-robotz
"Win Ben Stein's Warez!" lol

Or maybe If I Ruled the World:
https://soundcloud.com/user-9142551...?in=user-914255161/sets/futuristic-sex-robotz

This really shows the amazing thing about Rich. He was a piece of shit and had no business sense, but a lot of amazing (and some even forgotten stuff) grew out of SA. Perhaps even in spite of (or maybe even to spite) ol' Dickard.

And yeah, even more garbage. Gaming Garbage, even.
(Edit: Soundcloud media links no work, just put in regular links)

 

[Gravityqueen4life]

we got rob of our Lowtax stream. never forget,

 

[Die Dunkle Maus]

Is it true that Logan Day got a haircut and gained weight and now looks like Jim Gaffigan?

While KF was down, I was lurking at a lot of other forums on TOR, which I deeply regret and don't want to talk about ever again.

Anyway, there was something about her being fat and getting a man cut, but I can't find it now and don't want to crawl through all of that garbage again.

I apologize in advance for whatever I'm doing that is wrong.

 

[blablabla]

dude could have spent the ret of his days banging shemales and paying his kids alimony but he decided to eat a gun lmaooo

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

And yeah, even more garbage. Gaming Garbage, even.

I still go back and watch his gaming garbage videos. I recently relistened to his phastmagoria retsupurae and it was a hilarious reminder of a simpler time. When lowtax wasn't a complete piece of shit and slowbeef wasn't a fuckwit.

He was definitely one of the funniest people to grace the Internet but his autism prevented him from handling any sort of IRL situation. One of my favorite gaming garbage bits was Murder the Internet podcast. It was him and a local radio show host getting fucked up and rambling about inane bullshit. It's like a stream of consciousness fever dream and I highly recommend listening to the early episodes. Like everything else he failed to capitalize on it and I'm sure his cohost got sick of Lowtax's shit.

 

[Spunt]

He was definitely one of the funniest people to grace the Internet

No he wasn't. He had a zany, lolrandom sense of humour that perfectly lined up with the zeitgeist of the early internet, but even at the time there were better writers than him (Seanbaby springs to mind). When times moved on and internet humour first went edgy, then ironically detached, then went avant-garde, he looked like a fossil of an earlier time. It was one of the many reasons why he became alienated from his own forum from about 2006 onward, he was trying to be wAcKy and bOnKeRs at a time when FYAD were driving the site towards detached irony, it made him look like a tryhard, and the fact that people didn't laugh at his jokes enraged him so much his own community took to trolling him.

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

No he wasn't. He had a zany, lolrandom sense of humour that perfectly lined up with the zeitgeist of the early internet, but even at the time there were better writers than him (Seanbaby springs to mind). When times moved on and internet humour first went edgy, then ironically detached, then went avant-garde, he looked like a fossil of an earlier time. It was one of the many reasons why he became alienated from his own forum from about 2006 onward, he was trying to be wAcKy and bOnKeRs at a time when FYAD were driving the site towards detached irony, it made him look like a tryhard, and the fact that people didn't laugh at his jokes enraged him so much his own community took to trolling him.

He had a moderately successful YouTube career until shmorky tried to diddle his kids. I think when shmorky resigned from gaming garbage in shit covered diaperfur disgrace, that's when things really declined. He never had the same success as early something awful but to say he completely fizzled by 2006 is inaccurate. I think people liked to say that about him because it made him tard out.

 

[AnOminous]

I still go back and watch his gaming garbage videos. I recently relistened to his phastmagoria retsupurae and it was a hilarious reminder of a simpler time. When lowtax wasn't a complete piece of shit and slowbeef wasn't a fuckwit.

I thought a lot of the Cliff Yablonski stuff was hilarious. Maybe I wouldn't now but it would probably be at least partly because of what I know about Dickard now. I also busted a gut at the whole feud with the juggalos. And the Awful Site of the Day stuff was proto-KF.

I also remember being simultaneously horrified and laughing my ass off at the RapeLay game.

Unfortunately he was pretty much always a piece of shit. He didn't break bad, he started that way. There was a time he could have become better but he decided to take the road to becoming an hero instead.