UPDATE: The fractured remnants of Kiwi Farms tried to get this story taken down. I will attempt to get Keffals to signal boost it. If you know her, send this to her.
UPDATE #2: You might notice that chapters of this story sometimes get temporarily taken down. That is because what was once Kiwi Farms absolutely HATES my first victim. And for the record: I fucking LOVE this. Everytime I see "Story not available" it makes me laugh my ass off. Sorry for the inconvenience, but it's an inevitable result of the contents of Month 0. And I take it as a badge of fucking honor. Keep taking it down, guys; it just tells me that Month 0 really got to you. Which is exactly what I wanted.
Author's Note: I can assure my faithful followers of Envirosuits & Doobies that the story will never be abandoned. It's just the second half is...SO FUCKING HARD TO WRITE OH MY GOD-
Anyways. I've been very, very angry about the state of America lately. And I need a healthy way to vent my frustrations. Consider this to be a peaceful way of coping. So yeah, there's more than a little wish fulfillment here. Sue me. (And for the police: no, I'm not gonna do any of this. This story is just for funsies, I promise.)
People are always saying to do an original spin on the Death Note concept, so let's see if you mean what you say. You will not see a SINGLE character from the original Death Note in this story other than Ryuk, and don't ask about them. This isn't their story. This is Stephanie Wong's story.
I don't want to give too much away, but here is how I will sell you on this fanfic: Light Yagami was in high school when he got the Death Note. Stephanie Wong is 29. Imagine what the Death Note could be used for in the hands of someone more mature, humble and most importantly, just as intelligent as Light Yagami...
...as you might expect from that premise, this is not as action-packed and thrilling as you would expect from a Death Note fic. This is a more quiet, philosophical work. There is so much more to the Death Note and Ryuk than cheap thrills. Ryuk has so many hidden depths that almost nobody has bothered to explore; I intend to.
This fanfic might not "end" in the traditional sense. I intend to write it in such a way that I can start or stop it at my leisure and still have it be satisfying to whoever stumbles across it. Think of it as an anthology series.
(And yeah, I intend to correct the sexism of Death Note. Let's be honest guys: we love it, but it came out in 2006. It needs updating.)
Anyways, here we go! Here's hoping I blow your minds.`
Month 0
Los Angeles, California
9 Sep 2022
There were few days where Stephanie Wong was not angry.
It wasn't always like this. The daughter of Chinese immigrants who had moved to the coastal Californian city of Pacific Grove during the early 90s recession, she had genuinely believed in the promise of America. It gave her family a freedom to speak their mind they would have never had in China. The economy was good. Life, on the whole, was good.
And then she had been forced to watch it all fall apart over the course of 30 years. The fracturing of America between the indecisive, cowardly Democrats and the utterly reprehensible Republicans, the latter of which she despised with all her soul. But what could she do about it?
Her parents had died in a car accident 2 years ago, and the money she got from inheritance was enough to allow her not to work. But what was she doing with her time? Reading, playing video games, doomscrolling, and being completely powerless to stop what she was certain was an impending Civil War. She was at her wit's end.
She suddenly heard a "thump" on the ground to her right.
She looked down, and was surprised to see a black book with the words "DEATH NOTE" printed on it. Curious, she picked it up and flipped it open.
"Where the hell did this come from?" she muttered to herself. An answer unexpectedly came from behind her.
"From me, of course."
Stephanie turned around, and screamed. And screamed, and screamed, and screamed.
Before her was a monster. It was at least seven feet tall and had strange black spikes protruding from his shoulders. What was this creature?
"Relax, lady," the demon said casually after she had finally stopped screaming. "I'm not going to hurt you. In fact, I'm here to help you!"
"Help...me?" She finally managed. "What do you mean by that...Sir?" She felt it appropriate to call this creature by Sir. It was clearly her superior.
"Sir? I like that. Anyways, that black book that you just picked up. It's called the Death Note. If you write someone's name in it, they will die. Write the cause of death next to their name, and that will happen too."
Stephanie stared at Ryuk for a solid minute. Then, she grinned. Viciously.
"Really." She said. "Well, isn't that interesting."
She turned to the demon.
"What do you require of me, Sir?"
"You can call me Ryuk," he replied.
"No." She was firm. "You are clearly a supernatural demon. You have given me the ability to kill human beings. I will treat you with the respect you are due."
She couldn't read demon body languages, but she thought Ryuk was taken aback. He had clearly not been expecting that response.
"...very well," he finally said. "I have come to this world because I am bored. I am a Shinigami - a Death God. Unfortunately, there is very little of interest in the Shinigami Realm. So I hope you will keep me entertained, which is why I have given you the Death Note."
Stephanie was silent for the next five minutes.
"Sir," she finally said. "I noticed you were eating an apple when you met me. Do you like them?"
"Yes, I do indeed."
Four days later, a truck full of canned apples pulled up to Stephanie Wong's house. After she had finished unloading them, they completely filled up her living room.
"Sir, there should be enough canned apple slices in here to last you for several decades," she said to Ryuk after the crates were finally done being unloaded. "There are several can openers on the counter, and while I apologize that they are not in the whole form that you prefer, I hope that you appreciate them regardless. If there is anything whatsoever you need from me, no matter how trivial, do not hesitate to ask for me. I am at your command."
Ryuk was very surprised. A human had never treated him like this before. They were arrogant, selfish, and did not realize what the Death Note truly represented. This one...she respected him. She gave him the deference he was due.
"Stephanie Wong, I am very glad I gave you the Death Note," he finally said. Then he decided to get to the heart of the matter. "Now. You have attended to my needs. Over the last four days, you have asked me unceasing questions on the properties of the Death Note. I admire your cautiousness and intelligence. But I must ask: who will be your first kill? You must use it eventually."
Without hesitation, Stephanie Wong walked into her computer room, pulled up Wikipedia, and looked up the entry for "Kiwi Farms".
"Sir," she said seriously as she got the Death Note out from her drawer. "Here is my first kill."
Taking out a pen, she quickly wrote the following into the Death Note:
Joshua Moon - Decapitation
"A perfect target," Ryuk said, pleasantly surprised. Over the last few days he had learned that Stephanie was an American leftist and a strong supporter of LGBT rights. This was a logical, reasonable target. He approved of her judgement.
"Now, Stephanie," Ryuk said ominously. "Watch."
It was hard go out in public these days. Everyone hated him. Keffals completely destroyed his life, and now he could barely go out in public without watching his back. Still, at least he could get a pack of cigarettes.
"THERE HE IS!"
As he walked out of the gas station, three people rushed towards him. Before he could even respond, two of them hit his legs with baseball bats and forced him to his knees.
"Well, well, well." Joshua Moon's eyes widened in horror as he realized the man who said that was slowly walking towards him with what looked to be like a katana sword, all while the two other people who had forced him to his knees held his arms and kept him immobile.
"Joshua Moon," the man with the sword said slowly. Then he raised it above his head, as if to strike. "THIS IS FOR MY TRANS SISTER THAT KILLED HERSELF, SCUMBAG!"
"NO NO PLEA-"
Any further protests from Joshua Moon were cut off as the katana slammed into his neck, severing his head from his body and abruptly ending his life.
Ten minutes later, Stephanie Wong found a delightful message on Keffals' Twitter account.
"Holy shit...someone just executed Joshua Moon with a sword. Not kidding. Also not going to lie: he deserved it, thoroughly."
"Sir," she said, turning to Ryuk and smiling, "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
I know a lot of people hate the 2017 movie, but I think it's fun in a turn-your-brain-off sort of way. Thanks to it for inspiring me to made the first kill decapitation
Also, if you're reading this, Joshua: you deserve worse than decapitation. I was being kind.
Review please!
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