Jim Sterling / James "Stephanie" Sterling / James Stanton/Sexton & in memoriam TotalBiscuit (John Bain) - One Gaming Lolcow Thread

[Oliver Onions]

Could you imagine the blue balls we'd all get if his subscribers stay at something like 800,001 and we never get the sweet satisfaction of the less than 800K cope video.

I predict he might, might, get some green numbers from Santa for Christmas if he actually bothers to put out his top and bottom 10 videos this year (although they're gonna be even more of a stretch than last year because he's played fuck all in 2022).

His losses are definitely thinning out now, but I'm still confident we'll see sub-800k, it just might take a bit longer than we'd originally projected. This, of course, is assuming Jim doesn't do anything monumentally stupid at some point to trigger another mass exodus, but worst case scenario I'd now put the 799k sneedathon around May or June 2023.

This week: Modern Warfare 2, Laura, and PR.

(Edit to avoid double-posting) I can't believe I am saying this sentence about a man but is it just me or does he look extremely flat-chested in this weeks thumbnail? Not to suggest he's usually some buxom beauty, but his flapjack moobs look especially deflated here; it looks like he's got a folded up towel under that shitty lycra dress.

 

[Gloria The Glorious]

I predict he might, might, get some green numbers from Santa for Christmas if he actually bothers to put out his top and bottom 10 videos this year (although they're gonna be even more of a stretch than last year because he's played fuck all in 2022).

His losses are definitely thinning out now, but I'm still confident we'll see sub-800k, it just might take a bit longer than we'd originally projected. This, of course, is assuming Jim doesn't do anything monumentally stupid at some point to trigger another mass exodus, but worst case scenario I'd now put the 799k sneedathon around May or June 2023.

It's just going to be a single video called "The Fuck Video Games 2022 Show" where he combines the two of them into one. He'll announce his plans to have this be the norm moving forward because video games are exhausting and everything around them, from the evil publishers to the apathetic transphobic gaymers, is joyless and ruined. The opening gag will be that being "trans skeletor is all that gives me joy with these end of year videos." One slot will be "everything Ubisoft released" because fuck Ubisoft. And one of the best games will be Guilty Gear because Bridgette is trans now and validation is the only drug that gives him happiness.

 

[TheGuntinator]

I kind of wish you saw the opposite of people saying Souls games or whatever should have an easy mode. Like, people whinging about baby games being too easy. "The Rugrats Wizard of Oz game for PC is fine, I guess, but it'd be less ageist if it had a mode where it turned into a German board game."

Kirby isn't accessible enough to my desire to be a slaving despot, it should be more like Stellaris. Peppa Pig should be more like Manhunt to appeal to my sensibilities as a psychopath.

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

It’s the difference between including a subtitle or audio description track and stringently avoiding having colour or sound be important in your movie.

Jim's argument is more along the lines of "movies should be accessible to everyone, so they shouldn't contain complex plots or subliminal themes".

 

[Gloria The Glorious]

Jim's argument is more along the lines of "movies should be accessible to everyone, so they shouldn't contain complex plots or subliminal themes".

I could see Jim pulling a MauLer.

 

[Oliver Onions]

It's just going to be a single video called "The Fuck Video Games 2022 Show" where he combines the two of them into one. He'll announce his plans to have this be the norm moving forward because video games are exhausting and everything around them, from the evil publishers to the apathetic transphobic gaymers, is joyless and ruined. The opening gag will be that being "trans skeletor is all that gives me joy with these end of year videos." One slot will be "everything Ubisoft released" because fuck Ubisoft. And one of the best games will be Guilty Gear because Bridgette is trans now and validation is the only drug that gives him happiness.

See, this is exactly what I predicted he'd do last year, but then he pulled some 11th hour hail Mary Jimpressions out of his fat ass to pad the numbers.

For what it's worth my predictions are:
Best

• Vampire Survivors
• Elden Ring (despite bitching about it)

Worst

• The Last Of Us Remake
• Gilson B Pontes Game
• That Disney F2P Game
• Babylon's Fall

Actually never mind, it's going to have to be all the games he did a Jimpressions for and Vampire Survivor because he's played basically nothing else.

 

[Shotgun Badger]

It's just going to be a single video called "The Fuck Video Games 2022 Show" where he combines the two of them into one. He'll announce his plans to have this be the norm moving forward because video games are exhausting and everything around them, from the evil publishers to the apathetic transphobic gaymers, is joyless and ruined. The opening gag will be that being "trans skeletor is all that gives me joy with these end of year videos." One slot will be "everything Ubisoft released" because fuck Ubisoft. And one of the best games will be Guilty Gear because Bridgette is trans now and validation is the only drug that gives him happiness.

Man, this sounds so much like something he'd do. I was scratching my head trying to think about what he may put in a top ten lists since only Elden Ring and God of War seem to be the kinds of highish profile games he might have played that could be good and I doubt that something like Overwatch 2 or Modern Warfare will have a place. The only problem is that Guilty Gear came out last year, so he'd have to completely give up on the most basic format of a top or bottom ten to try and crowbar it in to make some retarded point about trans representation.

 

[Burt Offerings]

Peppa Pig should be more like Manhunt

I'd play that.

 

[Moja Zemlja]

This week: Modern Warfare 2, Laura, and PR.

I was going to give it a watch so I could join in on talking about it but hearing him say "able to lactate with a modicum of effort" was fucking sickening and I closed it, he puts shit like this within the first minute of the video and you turn around and wonder why he's losing subs.

 

[Corn Flakes]

No, the landscape of comic book movies used to be very different, you had all sorts of tones and aesthetics even if at their core they all centered around a pretty silly premise of men in spandex with magic powers. Yeah, some of them had a more tongue-in-cheek tone, and there were the usual action hero one-liners, but that's not what I'm talking about.

With the exception of Guardians of the Galaxy and the 10% of Doctor Strange 2 where Sam Raimi was allowed creative control there is absolutely nothing separating the MCU movies stylistically or creatively, and even GotG has been retroactively ruined because it was such a success they co-opted Gunn's style into all future movies, which is the specific kind of irreverent, downplay-every-moment-of-pathos with-a-joke schtick I'm talking about.

It was good when Gunn did it because it was different, now every single comic book movie tries to do the exact same thing and it's just boring and played out, the exact same way Far Cry 3 was great when it came out, but every Ubisoft game since sucks because it's just mimicking what Far Cry 3 did instead of trying to innovate the genre in its own way; the same way when Assassin's Creed first came out it was a legitimately interesting concept and new take on the genre, but then every element of gameplay got sandblasted off til it was literally just a case of holding the parkour button forward then pressing square in the vague vicinity of your target to win, then they abandoned any semblance of originality entirely and just turned it into another shitty live service game.

I like to point towards the first Iron Man movie for contrast with current MCU content. In that movie, you have a good variety of character archetypes. Sure, both Stark, Potts and Stane have their own zingers, but they come from different directions and affect the mood of the scene differently, and are memorable in their own ways (and some are plot-relevant, like "proof that Tony Stark has a heart"). Most other characters like Yinsen, Rhodes and Coulson are played almost perfectly straight. Compare it to the current crop of movies where everybody except maybe the villain or the Designated Grumpface is dropping quips and punchlines and breaking any resemblance of seriousness a scene might have because the movie can't go twenty seconds without dialogue.

 

[Wormy]

"Subtle as a clown nailgunning his dick to a board" was pretty funny, I'll give him that.

 

[Spud gun]

"Subtle as a clown nailgunning his dick to a board" was pretty funny, I'll give him that.

It also sounds like a description for a potential future episode of the troonquisition.

 

[SaltyFanta]

Jim's argument is more along the lines of "movies should be accessible to everyone, so they shouldn't contain complex plots or subliminal themes".

Retards really ruin everything. It seems like everything is being streamlined and smoothed out for retards, make the games easy, the stories shallow and the computers run themselves.

Jim has been the best argument to me that gatekeeping is good. The idea that "gatekeeping is mean everyone deserves to be involved" is the same type of hippy dippy reasoning that leads to everything being bottle-necked by the smoothest brain in the room. It's really reminiscent of that magical thinking of an autistic 12 year old, that thinks that everyone can do as well as everyone else, there are some hard realities to life that people like Jim need to realize. And one of those realities is that not everything is made for everyone, and not everyone can be good at everything.

 

[Gloria The Glorious]

Retards really ruin everything. It seems like everything is being streamlined and smoothed out for retards, make the games easy, the stories shallow and the computers run themselves.

Jim has been the best argument to me that gatekeeping is good. The idea that "gatekeeping is mean everyone deserves to be involved" is the same type of hippy dippy reasoning that leads to everything being bottle-necked by the smoothest brain in the room. It's really reminiscent of that magical thinking of an autistic 12 year old, that thinks that everyone can do as well as everyone else, there are some hard realities to life that people like Jim need to realize. And one of those realities is that not everything is made for everyone, and not everyone can be good at everything.

That's less of an autism thing and more of just how a lot of kids think, albeit to various degrees. The big difference is the kid does so out out naïve idealism. Jimbo and those likeminded say it out of denial of shortcomings while still wanting to be included in everything popular because they really want to be popular.

 

[Oliver Onions]

I was going to give it a watch so I could join in on talking about it but hearing him say "able to lactate with a modicum of effort" was fucking sickening and I closed it, he puts shit like this within the first minute of the video and you turn around and wonder why he's losing subs.

You're a braver man than me, I don't even play the videos any more, but now I feel compelled to ask....why is Jim attempting to lactate?

 

[Corn Flakes]

You're a braver man than me, I don't even play the videos any more, but now I feel compelled to ask....why is Jim attempting to lactate?

My man... do you really have to ask?

It's the coom. It's always the coom with these people.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Retards really ruin everything. It seems like everything is being streamlined and smoothed out for retards, make the games easy, the stories shallow and the computers run themselves.

Jim has been the best argument to me that gatekeeping is good. The idea that "gatekeeping is mean everyone deserves to be involved" is the same type of hippy dippy reasoning that leads to everything being bottle-necked by the smoothest brain in the room. It's really reminiscent of that magical thinking of an autistic 12 year old, that thinks that everyone can do as well as everyone else, there are some hard realities to life that people like Jim need to realize. And one of those realities is that not everything is made for everyone, and not everyone can be good at everything.

It's also impossible. Especially in the world they want where anyone can invalidate anything by claiming anything they want and you have an immediate duty to accommodate them. Why shouldn't Infinity Ward have to accommodate the fact that thinking about guns make me scared because one time as a kid I heard about a school shooting having happened somewhere else thousands of miles away? Are you saying my trauma isn't valid? You and Infinity Ward are saying I literally should die? So you're promoting genocide now? You don't want me to exist?

 

[Moja Zemlja]

My man... do you really have to ask?

It's the coom. It's always the coom with these people.

Could well be fetish shit but I think with Jim its an attempt to get people to thirst post on twitter to boost his ego, dispite how disgusting Jim looks to us and the average person he still gets plenty of people simping for him on twitter.

 

[Oliver Onions]

My man... do you really have to ask?

It's the coom. It's always the coom with these people.

I guess I still view Jim as an utterly sexless being who just talks a big game about all the kinky shit he's into to be edgy.

I hope Moja's right and it's just a quest for attention, because the idea of him squeezing rancid matter out of his saggy moobs and calling it lactation makes me want to self-delete.

 

[White-Kettle Shufflepunk]

I guess I still view Jim as an utterly sexless being who just talks a big game about all the kinky shit he's into to be edgy.

I hope Moja's right and it's just a quest for attention, because the idea of him squeezing rancid matter out of his saggy moobs and calling it lactation makes me want to self-delete.

I can cope just as long as it doesn't involve a human baby. These people are like a deeply innefficient bee-hive. Most of any given colony will be sexless and sterile, but many will retain a birthing body that'll give birth to an Insta-friendly child or two.