April Lauren / April Lauren Wilson Brown / Wakeupbright - Fake positivity, pedostache husband. Voted fatty most likely on the verge of her Stepford Wife robot programming malfunctioning

[Clown Baby]

That's part of what I don't understand, and maybe it is simply as you say -- a marker of her mental illness. I know that they can flower/morph/change over the course of people's lives. But she didn't marry extremely young (and accompanied everywhere) from her parents' house. She was an adult, working, living, and studying on her own (from what the Instagram photos and old blog posts show), who had friends and activities that she apparently did independently prior to marrying Kenny. How did she turn into a stage five clinger who doesn't want to leave the house alone apparently instantly upon marriage?

It's surprisingly easy for someone who is severely mentally unwell to float through life with youth on their side and then crash hard as they get older. Also remember that a few old photos on her SM accounts and some blogs where she could be totally exaggerating about her life don't tell you anything about her actual behavior and mental state back then, or whether or not those friendships were one-sided. It seems to me that Kenny is the first man she was able to land, and she landed him right after losing a bunch of weight in her late 20s, while she was on an upswing in her confidence. The fact that she found him during this period of extreme change and then immediately locked him down in a permanent bond was a red flag regarding her mental state, almost as big a red flag as her gaining 100+ pounds while he was deployed in the late 2010s.

 

[Ginger_beer]

It's surprisingly easy for someone who is severely mentally unwell to float through life with youth on their side and then crash hard as they get older. Also remember that a few old photos on her SM accounts and some blogs where she could be totally exaggerating about her life don't tell you anything about her actual behavior and mental state back then, or whether or not those friendships were one-sided. It seems to me that Kenny is the first man she was able to land, and she landed him right after losing a bunch of weight in her late 20s, while she was on an upswing in her confidence. The fact that she found him during this period of extreme change and then immediately locked him down in a permanent bond was a red flag regarding her mental state, almost as big a red flag as her gaining 100+ pounds while he was deployed in the late 2010s.

I'd argue that the speed in them marrying isn't too unusual given their ages (already past due, both of them!) and religious backgrounds when they met. I've known of a few conservative religious marriages where it seems that all that's required is meeting someone with the same background who is roughly the right age and appropriate gender and unmarried to leap right into marriage with because that state (and not the happiness of the people involved) is the all-important bit in their minds. The fact that this can lead to a lifetime of misery after never seems to be a consideration, and to be fair sometimes it does seem to work out.

Point taken about the rest, though. Ah, if only April would really come clean -- about what she eats, about *why*. Her passive aggressive rage and spite spilling over at the end of that last video was interesting. It made me pity Kenny just a bit, but who knows? Maybe he's actually an even bigger ass. The wedding photo @Lucille's Brands shared above is very interesting, however. It's saddening to see how many people on both sides were morbidly obese even at the time. Kenny must come from vigorous genetic stock that his father hasn't succumbed to a heart attack by now -- not that I ill wish the man in any way, but he certainly hasn't been looking out for himself.

 

[TastyColours]

It’s especially stupid (running 3.0 vs 3.1) because the Apple Watch automatically does splits.

 

[MullPrep]

She simultaneously blames kenny for eating unhealthy because he wants certain foods and wants to eat out all the time (eye roll)
AND blames him being gone for not being motivated to do things

 

[Eggspecial Millprepper]

I bet Kenny wants to eat out because April can't cook, and rather wants to be somewhere else than home because April didn't have time to clean the house because she was "working out"all day.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

She simultaneously blames kenny for eating unhealthy because he wants certain foods and wants to eat out all the time (eye roll)
AND blames him being gone for not being motivated to do things

I bet Kenny wants to eat out because April can't cook, and rather wants to be somewhere else than home because April didn't have time to clean the house because she was "working out"all day.

Who even knows how accurate that is either. April is the type that thinks because Kenny wants to grab a burger that she has “no choice” but to eat whatever she wants too. We’ve also seen the slop she makes for her mill preps and likely doesn’t eat herself. There are those Caraway pans she is supposedly obsessed about from months ago but I doubt they get much use these days.

Ah, if only April would really come clean -- about what she eats, about *why*

At this point she’s let enough slip for us to gain an insight to what she actually eats. Lots of fast food runs, lots of dinners at restaurants, and we hear absolutely nothing about mill preps. She has dropped the pretense of any kind of home cooking whatsoever. I guess even she found it wasteful to cook food she obviously doesn’t eat just to maybe get a few more likes on social media.

 

[Ginger_beer]

At this point she’s let enough slip for us to gain an insight to what she actually eats. Lots of fast food runs, lots of dinners at restaurants, and we hear absolutely nothing about mill preps. She has dropped the pretense of any kind of home cooking whatsoever. I guess even she found it wasteful to cook food she obviously doesn’t eat just to maybe get a few more likes on social media.

I am certain you are correct but I'd like her to actually *show* that. Do a real, honest "What I eat in a day" showing every last fast food item and candy wrapper. She won't do it because she can't bear to be honest with herself much less us, but it would be edifying (pun intended) to see how she goes awry. My guess is that's at every meal not to mention any additional snacking. The breakfast in the running video, for example -- she probably thinks it's "healthy" (and it is) and therefore fine. It's vastly too much, and would be even for a man considerably taller than she is. (I am also just admittedly curious about the "what" in the spirit of anthropology. -- so much of what is common in the U.S. is unknown here, and it's interesting to see the food and junk food even if I'd never want to eat it myself. That's not a put down -- we have plenty of food here too that should be eaten only in great moderation if someone wants to stay at a healthy weight, but the U.S. seemingly has vastly more, and a greater diversity.)

 

[FatalTater]

Kenny probably likes to go out to eat because he doesn't want to be home alone at mealtime with his crazy wife.

April could still have restaurant food and not go too crazy on calories.
If she got a sandwich with lettuce, tomato, onion on it and no creamy sauces or cheese, and no fries or sugary sodas? Filling and reasonable calorie amount.
Not as much of a dopamine hit, but sometimes one must sacrifice for a goal.

 

[Simon]

Kenny probably likes to go out to eat because he doesn't want to be home alone at mealtime with his crazy wife.

April could still have restaurant food and not go too crazy on calories.
If she got a sandwich with lettuce, tomato, onion on it and no creamy sauces or cheese, and no fries or sugary sodas? Filling and reasonable calorie amount.
Not as much of a dopamine hit, but sometimes one must sacrifice for a goal.

Especially since the chain restaurants usually have the calorie counts on the menus or online. Easy peasy. April is just finding excuses.

 

[beanbag in a hurry]

Yeah, she could. But she doesn't want to, you see.

 

[Spenjamin]

Especially since the chain restaurants usually have the calorie counts on the menus or online. Easy peasy. April is just finding excuses.

It's fiiiinnne. She can just start again tomorrow.

 

[Lucille's Brands]

Spotted standing near people working hard, that's gotta count as something, right?
Posted on ifitfayetteville insta five hours ago.


Full video from post -

No new video or posts on April's own Instagram. A few reposts of that Nedra therapists copespiration, that's about it.

A few other random bits.

- 'ol resting bitch face is back.


- 25% progress made on the weightloss goal, with 5 weeks to go. That's achievable,no? Lalalalala..


- Fighting with people in the comments over the exact days involved with her unachievable goal:

April would argue with a wall. Even if she was wrong, and knew it. Actually, especially if she knew she was wrong. Unbelievable.

- April runs on her tippy toes, I'm not even joking. She's springy, which is great news for her overloaded damaged knee and ankle. But as long as she looks dainty.
Here's her running coach (aka 'she told me what to do, and I did the complete opposite..) from April's most recent Instagram post.
The gif is choppy, but you really see the contrast from April's toe running, and the coach's walk.

I don't know why she pays for advice she won't take, and from experts, no less. April is incapable of self reflection and defiant with authority e.g. 'the coach advised me to run like this, but I saw a girl i wanted to run like 5 seconds ago, and did the exact opposite..'

- April's average heart rate is wrong on her 3 miles for time. She recorded all 3.16 miles, but ran (if even all of it) 3 miles, and walked the last 0.16 miles.
That's about 250 metres, or 3:41 sec (50:02 - 46:19) slow walk at the end, allowing her heart to slow right down. Its likely her real bpm average for just the 3 miles of jogging is ~160bpm, or nearer to her previous 3 miles average per the still below.
Also the 3.16 miles time is 50:02 mins, not 46:19.
Incidentally, she looks a hell of a lot slimmer in the older video on the right, both in the face and cocked leg.


Looking forward to the new WIW and accompanying UWU, and finding the gaping holes she inevitably leaves in any information she shares. And that's why she won't show her food. She's incapable of faking what she's supposed to be doing correctly, not with food, exercise, home security or anything else. And that's why she's my favourite cow

 

[Ginger_beer]

I am eagerly awaiting the WIW as well. It's not a case of "Will April fail to achieve her goal?", the burning question in my mind is "How will April fail to achieve her goal? No substantive weight loss, or will she have gained? How will she obfuscate this, or try to turn it into a victory?". I will henceforth think of her as "Pyrrhic victory" because it fits.

Re: her running stance, that may not be entirely volitional. I suspect that in order to run she has to counterbalance the weight in her midsection since she carries so much in her belly. To go faster than a walk it may* then throw her stance forward, rather than hitting planted on the ball of the foot as she properly should. At the speed she's going she should always be using a mid-foot strike, and that extreme forefoot strike and the accompanying knee piston is indeed undesirable, but I don't know that it can necessarily be modified until she loses a significant amount of weight. *I am not a sports physiotherapist or kinesiologist, and could be full of shit. Take my opinion with a very large grain of salt please.

 

[Clown Baby]

I'd argue that the speed in them marrying isn't too unusual given their ages (already past due, both of them!) and religious backgrounds when they met. I've known of a few conservative religious marriages where it seems that all that's required is meeting someone with the same background who is roughly the right age and appropriate gender and unmarried to leap right into marriage with because that state (and not the happiness of the people involved) is the all-important bit in their minds. The fact that this can lead to a lifetime of misery after never seems to be a consideration, and to be fair sometimes it does seem to work out.

It's true that religious types seem to want to get married in a hurry, which is generally because of wanting to have children and "no sex before marriage" values, but as far as I know, Ape converted to Mormonism to be with Kenny. If getting married quickly was to have children, Kenny would have plugged her with a baby on their honeymoon, back when she was much thinner, younger, and fertile.

Another thing that I thought of after I made my original reply to you about why Ape seems to be more mentally ill now when she wasn't in her twenties is the fact that Ape has moved around a lot. She was born and raised in Alabama, and at some point moved away. Most people who move away from their home state will inevitably lose a lot of friends just because of distance. If a person stays in their hometown they will keep high school spill-off friendships into adulthood.

She spent some time in Utah, not sure how much, and when I first started following her, she and Kenny were living in Missouri. They moved very quickly to North Carolina during the pandemic, to a place where they had no friends, and likely had no friends in Missouri besides Kenny's military people and military wives like Jenna. As people get older we tend to have less friends, especially if we're upheaving our lives and moving far distances once every 2 odd years. The process of Ape being so lonely and isolated was born of time, aging, moving states, and probably partially because of her controlling personality that is off-putting to normal people and visible through her fake positivity.

Once someone is alone with their thoughts, mental illness that has been beaten back will creep in and get worse, especially if someone is unhappy with their body, their marriage, their circumstances (hubby has to leave for months at a time, seemingly at random, and this is just her lot in life as a military wife), their inability to have kids which they think will give them a purpose or meaning. It's just bleak for Ape right now, and she is spiraling while trying to appear like she's brave and successful, which will ultimately make her mental illness worse than if she admitted that she has a problem and sought help.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

April waddling on her tippy toes is one of those things, much like weighing spices, cutting up watermelon for a vacation, and making mill preps she doesn’t eat, that make this thread a nonstop source of entertainment

 

[Ginger_beer]

It's true that religious types seem to want to get married in a hurry, which is generally because of wanting to have children and "no sex before marriage" values, but as far as I know, Ape converted to Mormonism to be with Kenny. If getting married quickly was to have children, Kenny would have plugged her with a baby on their honeymoon, back when she was much thinner, younger, and fertile.

I think she converted to Mormonism prior to meeting Kenny, because otherwise why was she going to Brigham Young University? It's a Mormon institution, isn't it? She also converted from some other fundamentalist form of Christianity -- I want to say Baptist, but my memory on that might be wrong. The TL: DR -- she went from one form of fundamentalist religion to another. Both emphasise that a woman should be married, a housewife, and have children and generally be focused on the domain of the home only. The man is the one who gets to have a life outside, with career, hobbies that aren’t domestic, etc. My understanding on this is very rudimentary, though, and again, I'll freely admit I could be wrong because I only know this from bits gleaned from the Internet.

Another thing that I thought of after I made my original reply to you about why Ape seems to be more mentally ill now when she wasn't in her twenties is the fact that Ape has moved around a lot. She was born and raised in Alabama, and at some point moved away. Most people who move away from their home state will inevitably lose a lot of friends just because of distance. If a person stays in their hometown they will keep high school spill-off friendships into adulthood.

She has mentioned having real trouble around moving. I'd argue that it's not terribly different given she's still in the same country (albeit a big one) as opposed to people who live as real TCIs (Third Culture Individuals), reconciling very different places and cultures, but your point about friendships is very illuminating. Modern technology is wonderful for keeping in touch but it's not the same as being able to physically see people and do things in their company.

My suspicion is that April is lacking in social skills and/or hindered by some form of mental illness or cognitive issue (if she truly has ADHD). That makes it hard for her to cope with life generally, and I suspect she didn't have the best start in life. She was raised in a conservative religious home, but a broken one (because her parents are divorced I think, with very little mention of her father). From her sister (Emily Rae)'s recounting there were times they didn't have food at home growing up, which is frankly shocking to me. I don't understand how modern people who are presumably employed and living in the United States can't find a way to prioritise feeding their children, even if that means relying on a food pantry, but that's completely aside. So for background: April's home life and upbringing was unstable in many ways. As a young adult she may have been flailing, but a lot of people flail and fail at that age, so it wouldn't have been particularly concerning or notable in spite of her deeper issues, especially if she moved and made a new start elsewhere (Utah). Your point about her being just as dysfunctional then, only it wasn't as obvious is likely completely accurate.

Kenny (himself failing, if one counts mid-twenties unmarried as failing) came into view as a prospect where they could both shore up their lives together and get on the right track… except very obviously neither of them wanted to start a family immediately. To me this makes financial sense when they were first married because they were just finishing school, but after a couple of years it becomes questionable, particularly seeing how they live now. I know that property values are different in the U.S., but many perfectly well off people here can't hope to own their own home, much less a house like what they have. Whether it's all debt or actually fiscally responsibly handled is irrelevant -- they have the resources where they could have had children if they wanted to, assuming they were capable of it physically.

This may be the point where I simply have to conclude that it's April's mental illness and I will not understand because my mind doesn't work like hers, but why marry into the military (and choose to continue in that profession given the option) if you know the rigors (she did, her father was/is military) and know you don't want the life of being a military spouse? I suspect she blames her weight on her anxieties around that lifestyle -- but she went into it with her eyes open, and with full prior knowledge and experience. If she regrets it now she can still change things – Kenny could have not reenlisted, for example. As with so many things concerning April I think I'm just going to have to confine myself to wondering why on earth she doesn't be proactive and take steps to really improve her situation the way other people would. She doesn't because she's April, and that's why she's fun to watch. That, and the 3 miles for time instead of just finishing 3.1 km will never not be hysterical to me. Unlike the "weighing the spices" incident she can't even blame it on being flustered and upset by criticism, it's all April and her lack of perspective.

 

[Lucille's Brands]

Stressed and Feeling worthless... You are Enough. | Weigh in Wednesday with April Lauren
12th Nov 2022

Spoiler: Archive

"Our life has been chaos and filled with big stressors. In this video I share how I have internalized some of the stress and some of the markers for progress I see. I also share my most recent weigh in and talk about that number on the scale."

Weight loss has absolutely stalled. Though I have just skimmed through the video, I'm sure she stays on brand, taking no responsibility for her own lack of progress.



There's footage of more running, followed by footage from the gym. Her editing is sloppy, several times she keeps in the part where she stops running, during her 'running past the camera' shots/wood run segment. As Ilona would say, it's just B roll filler, and far too much of it.
Ah. I recognise the tshirt April's wearing in this footage. April was in an I-FIT IG story two days ago, doing something with her phone, while the other members were working out.
She must have settling her phone up to capture her epic push jerks, and workout of the day. Lift those heels! Keep changing foot position mid lift, and lock those knees, guys. Her form is *chefs kiss*.
Loads of gif(t)s for you.






ETA - On that last gif, the push jerks. It looks like pure tantrum/ didn't learn correct form. Can any cross fit/ serious gym goers weigh in? She's dropping the bar from fully overhead. She's not keeping muscles under tension while bringing the bar to chest or waist level, even. She risks damaging the bar, plates or floor, and clocking herself with the falling weight.
Aside from that, it's just bad manners, I think. Like those people you see slamming shit around in their workplace cause they're 'busy'.
I'm sure April would love to throw that bar at Torri, a gym member who ungraciously meanders into her shot. Tsk. It's like he was just there to workout, or something.

She finally addresses what actual workouts/running she does in the week.
She has 'been done' the gym 3 to 4 times a week, running 2-3 times a week.
You could probably half that frequency, and still be giving her too much credit.


TL DR, Her money don't jiggle jiggle, but her boobs sure do. She needs to get a decent high intensity sports bra, or even just wear two, or make her peace with having navel framing pancakes for tits in the near future.
April inability to engage her core and plant her feet while lifting make a thrown back or similar injury almost inevitable.
Also, IT'S THE FOOD.

 

[Ginger_beer]

I bitterly regret that I don't have more than a few minutes of time because there's potentially a lot about this video to pull apart aside from April's entirely predictable failure to lose weight and hilarious lifting form. (Seriously, why is no one correcting her? I would think it would be a liability for the gym, quite apart from just making them look bad.)

I do have to ask though -- am I the only one who thinks it strange that she has two vacuums in her front room? I haven't been able to watch beyond five minutes and I'm still baffled by the vacuums. Maybe one is a steam cleaner? That I could understand, being a dog owner myself, but the floors look to be mostly hard surfaces, with very few area rugs, and those don't really need a steamer. It's not as funny as the tub trumpet of fame in another thread, but the idea of paired double-barrel simultaneous vacuuming is still amusing.

 

[low sodium]

new CP:

 

[Lucille's Brands]

'You are Enough'.
Worn by a woman twice the weight she should be for her height.
Do they do the tshirt in a 'You are more than Enough'?
T-shirt merch ideas for April.
'I'm so proud of myself'
'I approach myself with kindness'
'You are worth the work you don't do'
'No job, no responsibilities. Feelin' sassy'
'Stressed. Where's my asspats at?'
'Reset. Restart. The Edge. Non scale points of measure. No weight loss. Rinse and Repeat.'