Megathread Random Thoughts & Questions - ADF

[ToroidalBoat]

Here's a random thought: just how different would Phil's life have been if there was no internet?

He probably thinks that getting his balls removed will magically enable him to ride a bike.

It's more like Phil thinks that with his balls gone, he can learn to ride a bike because no sensory overload.

 

[Count groudon]

It's more like Phil thinks that with his balls gone, he can learn to ride a bike because no sensory overload.

The funniest part is that the problem has nothing to do with his balls. Feeling sore between your legs is completely normal when you're first riding a bike. Your entire body weight is basically resting on your taint on a narrow hunk of metal covered by a thin cushion. They make broader, softer seats for just such a problem, so if he's basically trying to put hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars into a retarded problem that can easily be solved by a trip to the local bike shop and at most 30 bucks.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

The funniest part is that the problem has nothing to do with his balls. Feeling sore between your legs is completely normal when you're first riding a bike. Your entire body weight is basically resting on your taint on a narrow hunk of metal covered by a thin cushion. They make broader, softer seats for just such a problem, so if he's basically trying to put hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars into a retarded problem that can easily be solved by a trip to the local bike shop and at most 30 bucks.

Maybe he should get one of these babies:

Spoiler

 

[Count groudon]

Maybe he should get one of these babies:

Spoiler

It's like Phil in bicycle form

 

[DykesDykesChina]

It's like Phil in bicycle form

Actually, these chopper bicycles were pretty neat, or at least 70s/early 80s kids thought they were all the rage (before BMX bikes became popular).

But I could see ADF decking his chopper out in all sorts of retarded things: An Autismlatinx flag flying from the back, the tubing painted all over with SJW symbolism, a multi-note horn playing the first notes of the Soviet anthem...

 

[ToroidalBoat]

They make broader, softer seats for just such a problem, so if he's basically trying to put hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars into a retarded problem that can easily be solved by a trip to the local bike shop and at most 30 bucks.

That may be, but Phil also wants to become a woman for what is no doubt some shallow reason. Deballing is the first step.

 

[Positron]

But I could see ADF decking his chopper out in all sorts of retarded things: An Autismlatinx flag flying from the back, the tubing painted all over with SJW symbolism, a multi-note horn playing the first notes of the Soviet anthem...

More likely the chorus of MMMMMbop.

 

[Ravenor]

The funniest part is that the problem has nothing to do with his balls. Feeling sore between your legs is completely normal when you're first riding a bike. Your entire body weight is basically resting on your taint on a narrow hunk of metal covered by a thin cushion. They make broader, softer seats for just such a problem, so if he's basically trying to put hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars into a retarded problem that can easily be solved by a trip to the local bike shop and at most 30 bucks.

A lot of places will offer you a bigger saddle if they think your going to need it when you purchase a bike mine came with a brooks b65 and I changed it for a b135 now that was a pricey seat and a good option for what my bike looks like and he needent spend as much but we all know it's not going to be a issue at any point in the near future.

 

[GetShrekt]

A lot of places will offer you a bigger saddle if they think your going to need it when you purchase a bike mine came with a brooks b65 and I changed it for a b135 now that was a pricey seat and a good option for what my bike looks like and he needent spend as much but we all know it's not going to be a issue at any point in the near future.

Philly-boy's only exposure to bicycles must have been some cheap Walmart seated one. Those things aren't optimized for anybody in particular and will make ANY man's balls hurt.

 

[Ravenor]

Philly-boy's only exposure to bicycles must have been some cheap Walmart seated one. Those things aren't optimized for anybody in particular and will make ANY man's balls hurt.

There is three things you should spend money one in this world, What you lay down on, What you sit down on and What you stand in - and Phil cheaps out on all three.

 

[Flame the Sunbird]

Here's a random thought: just how different would Phil's life have been if there was no internet?

That's a good question. I'll bet he would have still gone down some weird road, but I doubt he would have gone as far. He's been able to find way more enablers of his made up identities online than he ever would have before the internet.

 

[Don't Call Anybody]

There is three things you should spend money one in this world, What you lay down on, What you sit down on and What you stand in - and Phil cheaps out on all three.

Phil didn't cheap out on those REI boots. Then again, there's a difference between investing in quality and wasting money on a prestigious label.

 

[Ravenor]

CB Radio and lowwer end "Gay for pay" kinda places,

Phil didn't cheap out on those REI boots. Then again, there's a difference between investing in quality and wasting money on a prestigious label.

True, but the thing is he wore them to death and didn't perform any maintinance on them and they where some of the cheeper boots they offer as well. And they fell apart inless than a year, he then bought a pair of Made in the UK DM's an paid over the odd's to do so and didn't maintain them either, but while Phil very rarely takes his boots off you can almost tripple the ware time, and the lack of basic maintenance.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Remember that screencap of that one exchange where Phil begged Jordman to fig him? The one where Jordman refused and then revealed stuff about Phil (like the attempted Holocaust memorial defecation)? What else did Jordman reveal about Phil in it? IIRC, one thing was something about Phil thinking Taco Bell is real "Latinx" food.

 

[Ravenor]

IIRC, one thing was something about Phil thinking Taco Bell is real "Latinx" food.

Close it was Jack in the Box, Phil squealed enough for long enough to get him to shut up Jordman bought him fast food, it's kinda telling isn't it that the only way to get Phil to reliably shut his cheese hole is to fill it with food.

He also gabbled at Jordman in broken, non sensical Spanish.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

the only way to get Phil to reliably shut his cheese hole is to fill it with food

I remember tweaker saying something similar to that.

That exchange between Phil and Jordman was posted in the farms, but it got lost in the French Affair.

 

[Ravenor]

I remember tweaker saying something similar to that.

That exchange between Phil and Jordman was posted in the farms, but it got lost in the French Affair.

I have a copy knocking around some place outside of the main archive, I'll see if I can find it.

 

[Ravenor]

I think it's rather telling about the state of Phil's internet access he's been quiet for the last few day's and it's all but confirmed for me what I have been told by others and the spud himself:

His Smart phone is fucked in some way he can't fix, it's not hardware but software, Phil has no shame and he'll gladly sponge WiFi from a place if they are closed and he was there 6 months ago but the APs saved in the phone, and sit outside the front or back of a shop (where ever he's less likely to be disturbed) and suck down packets like they where going out of fashion.

His access is limited to a place that roughly keeps business hours, most likely a library the only thing that makes libary's suspect to me at least is they ration your computer time maybe it's different in the USA but in my experience unless your on the public WiFi your limited to a hour a day and the net's filtered (I'm English and only stepped foot in a Libary once in the USA an never used a computer while I was there).

He's also a fair bit pissed off by this arrangement, he's yoyoing his profile to avoid ween reports an that's kinda smart on his part but apart from a few people likely to comment on his current status update it costs him hug box points, because while a lot of his friends don't work a lot of them only really use the internet outside of the times he's got his profile active. But the real reason is he hasn't got a clue who can really trust and he's loathed to leave his profile online when he can't remove things from it that might get posted by people when he's not able to delete it as some kind of preemptive damage control.

 

[Peace and Harmony]

I guess it turns out that a homeless lolcow is only funny in principle; there's no milk if they don't have any means of positing it

 

[Flame the Sunbird]

His access is limited to a place that roughly keeps business hours, most likely a library the only thing that makes libary's suspect to me at least is they ration your computer time maybe it's different in the USA but in my experience unless your on the public WiFi your limited to a hour a day and the net's filtered (I'm English and only stepped foot in a Libary once in the USA an never used a computer while I was there).

This is true for the libraries in the San Francisco area AFAIK. However, if there aren't other people waiting, they may let you do one hour long session, and then immediately sign up for another one. I'm guessing ADF is going to some out-of-the-way branch that let's him stay for multiple sessions.