April Lauren / April Lauren Wilson Brown / Wakeupbright - Fake positivity, pedostache husband. Voted fatty most likely on the verge of her Stepford Wife robot programming malfunctioning

[Clown Baby]

"Something really terrible is happening and I'm devastated but I might not even talk about it at all, maybe later" she's giving enormous ALR vibes in that new video, and her community post "Celebrate that win.... even if you lost."

 

[Good Hank]

It’s nice to be back, I’ve missed all of you & your thoughts. This thread is a joy to read & for some reason I just love seeing April dig herself deeper into this hole of lies and stagnation. I’d have more respect for her if she wrote “no loss this week” instead of “-.3,” claiming to have lost even less than a healthy morning shit weighs.

The never-ending inspirational quotes and novelty tees are a nice representation of where she’s at mentally- she spends every hour of everyday looking for (and failing to find) a purpose. There was a time when I believed she could turn things around, but I think she will be this way for the rest of her life. Especially now that she’s eluding to more cliffhanging clickbait BS. She is so empty and I can’t stop watching.

 

[MullPrep]

The weird rambling excuses at the end was yet another faux insight into her bullshit cycle. She says she wants to lose weight slow and steady but seems to be more and more openly aware that it’s not working. Even if she lost the amount she claims, she’s clearly plateauing/gaining from her current routine. Then she couples that with knowing she needs to work out more, and that she’s keeping weight on due to overthinking it all? But then says the DEKA founder told her that extremes don’t work either.

She even quotes kenny, almost certainly poorly. She claims kenny told her that if she’s doing the work, the number doesn’t matter, and she can change what’s not working…. She’s so close to getting it … or she’s refusing to change.

 

[FarmerKhourtney]

I can’t imagine torturing myself with all these weird workouts and looking half dead just to make no progress
Wouldn’t it be easier to just eat less. But wait that’s too easy. Can’t be possible

 

[Bogliacci]

Stressed and Feeling worthless... You are Enough. | Weigh in Wednesday with April Lauren
12th Nov 2022

Spoiler: Archive

View attachment 3850860

"Our life has been chaos and filled with big stressors. In this video I share how I have internalized some of the stress and some of the markers for progress I see. I also share my most recent weigh in and talk about that number on the scale."

Weight loss has absolutely stalled. Though I have just skimmed through the video, I'm sure she stays on brand, taking no responsibility for her own lack of progress.

View attachment 3849264

There's footage of more running, followed by footage from the gym. Her editing is sloppy, several times she keeps in the part where she stops running, during her 'running past the camera' shots/wood run segment. As Ilona would say, it's just B roll filler, and far too much of it.
Ah. I recognise the tshirt April's wearing in this footage. April was in an I-FIT IG story two days ago, doing something with her phone, while the other members were working out.
She must have settling her phone up to capture her epic push jerks, and workout of the day. Lift those heels! Keep changing foot position mid lift, and lock those knees, guys. Her form is *chefs kiss*.
Loads of gif(t)s for you.
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ETA - On that last gif, the push jerks. It looks like pure tantrum/ didn't learn correct form. Can any cross fit/ serious gym goers weigh in? She's dropping the bar from fully overhead. She's not keeping muscles under tension while bringing the bar to chest or waist level, even. She risks damaging the bar, plates or floor, and clocking herself with the falling weight.
Aside from that, it's just bad manners, I think. Like those people you see slamming shit around in their workplace cause they're 'busy'.
I'm sure April would love to throw that bar at Torri, a gym member who ungraciously meanders into her shot. Tsk. It's like he was just there to workout, or something.

She finally addresses what actual workouts/running she does in the week.
She has 'been done' the gym 3 to 4 times a week, running 2-3 times a week.
You could probably half that frequency, and still be giving her too much credit.
View attachment 3849267

TL DR, Her money don't jiggle jiggle, but her boobs sure do. She needs to get a decent high intensity sports bra, or even just wear two, or make her peace with having navel framing pancakes for tits in the near future.
April inability to engage her core and plant her feet while lifting make a thrown back or similar injury almost inevitable.
Also, IT'S THE FOOD.

Oh man, I get so much second hand embarrassment watching her in the gym. Just her face scrunching up with those hotdog lips, ugh

 

[HamFan]

Seriously, why is no one correcting her? I would think it would be a liability for the gym, quite apart from just making them look bad.

This gets repeated here a lot, and I've wondered it myself. But I'm sure the answer is, many people have probably tried.

April does what she wants! Can you imagine trying to correct her? She'd say, "I can't do it that way because..." "I prefer to do it his way because..." "I know my body best and, blah blah blah."

It's unlikely she can do it properly, she just fakes her way through it with fat strength (of course she can lift a considerable amount, she carries excess around every day), and momentum. She doesn't have the actual strength or stamina for controlled movements with engaged muscles.

 

[Ginger_beer]

Alright, I managed to make it through the video in some detail. I've put a summary (and my thoughts on some of the material) behind the spoiler, for those who don't want to be bothered with a rehash. As a preliminary note I will say that yes, those really do appear to be two vacuums -- both the cannister and cordless variety. Heh. I'm betting she justifies that because one may not have enough charge to finish the entire house, but dear god is that ever a marker for excessive consumption (just like the many pairs of athletic shoes and clothing, etc.). Granted, each one may not be expensive, but still -- two of the same device (as opposed to ones for different purposes). LOL.

Spoiler: Video summary:

April starts out by saying she's been "thinking a lot" but that it's unproductive worrying rather than thinking. It leads to her "being unkind to herself". Snarky Ginger_beer would interject that the real way she's being unkind to herself is by soothing her feelings with food, and eating excessive amounts whether it's garbage food (likely) or not.

She goes on to say that she "feels unworthy of the good things in her life", ergo the "You are enough" tshirt, and bewails that she "spent a few weeks in a really dark place". Snarky Ginger_beer asks if she leaned too far into the snack pantry, fell in, and the door shut so she was trapped there. Non-snarky Ginger_beer observes that this all sounds like sincere mental illness, and that she should go to a doctor and/or a therapist because there is genuine, effective professional help available for this sort of thing, and she doesn't need to suffer.

April says she forced herself to be more productive (Snarky and Non-snarky GB think this is good!), and that she's also forced herself to "be gentle with herself ahd hold less expectations". Here I am conflicted. Yes, it's reasonable not to beat oneself up for failing to accomplish things when life gets complicated and interferes. On the other hand, the fact that she continually sets such unrealistic expectations for herself that she can't possibly reasonably achieve, and then freaks out when she fails at them is very much the root of April's problems (apart from the anxiety/depression/whatever that is underlying all this). She sees Kenny running a Spartan, envisages herself out there with him, and then she's shocked to find she can't just go do it. Same with Deka, same with running. It's fine to have these high aspirations as an end goal, but she seems to operate under the delusion that she should just be able to do anything, because she's April. That's not how it works for anyone, even the most brilliant and gifted. Everyone has to work at things to gain proficiency, and that takes time and effort and enduring failure on the path to success, but April thinks she should be able to just magically overleap all that for some inexplicable reason.

April says she's going to go back to a regular posting schedule because her family watch her videos when they miss her, and also because she enjoys it. I have no issues with the enjoyment, but the family thing is just an excuse for her seeking to gratify her vanity by being a big Youtuber. LOL.

Hemming curtains is apparently an insurmountable challenge for April because "she doesn't know how". Granted, I know crap all-about sewing, and would do a shitty job if I tried to do it myself by hand, and I don't own a machine. I assume April is in the same boat. So take the curtains to a seamstress April. I'm certain there must be people who do alterations, etc. where she lives and the curtains would be done quickly, properly, and likely for only a small fee. WTF? This is not a reason to be anxious, upset, or to flail.

Her container garden is going well, which is nice to see. Chipper looks a little slimmer, and maybe Julio too a little, but they're both still vastly too fat. Pick up the pace on that April -- they're dogs, and can only eat what you give them. They're not sneaking off to Chick -fil-A or whatever on their own. Properly handled they could be at a healthy weight in about a month. Every day that they stay blubberous is another day when they further destroy their joints, potentially develop diabetes, and risk cancers and various other organ issues.

Then she says that "lately she's been spiraling", though that's not the right word for it. Feeling "really unworthy". Says one of her purposes in life is to be a mother, and so she's been struggling with her fertility. Cue the pity violin orchestra! *face palm* She says this "makes her feel defective" and a "less than" person. Therapy April. Therapy and meds and maybe stop using your feelings to be selfish because this nonsense is really a backwards form of entitlement to my mind. "Oh, I'm so unworthy, let me engage in self-destructive behaviours while everyone rallies and supports me". Here are an addict's excuses, and while I don't doubt there's real suffering underlying it, people being sympathetic and supportive of the person diving into their vices is not actually helpful. It's enabling. Sort that shit out instead of wallowing -- that's said kindly, by the way, and is actually nicer than "Oh your poor feelings, it's okay to feel bad and not strive".

Then she goes on to claim to have handled "so much change, so many things that have happened" which have "made things a little shaky", but says she's okay and she challenges the feelings of worthlessness now, which feels to her like tremendous growth. Dear god. While she's deliberately vague and making things sound dire I suspect she's bemoaning their move (months ago), her failure to hike to her goal (grandiose setting herself up for failure), and her stagnating weight loss (kindly assuming she actually lost weight). Through the nauseating inspirational spooge that she follows ith I was watching her running form. It's considerably improved, so yes coach! Well done! I never expect to hear about the woman ever again, but she has helped April tremendously, and done a good job. Also the scenery is very nice and I appreciate it.

April then goes on to humble brag about how little she works out -- only going to the gym 3-4 times in the week, and running 2-3 times per week. LOL. That's called a regular workout routine April. Not that it's bad, but it's not something to primp about. Also all the footage of herself lifting -- she's aping other fitness Youtubers, like Chikara Transformations. No one with sense thinks your workouts are inspiring April. Hah.

Then she gets into the litany of excuses around why "the scale barely went down". She's not wrong about the effect of stress, but if she was in a decent caloric deficit she'd still see some substantive weight loss, and not this stagnation. Then she confesses that she also "tends not to move as much" when she's stressed. No kidding April, but the not moving as much is less of a culprit than what you shove in your mouth.

She ostensibly quotes Kenny as saying "Why do you let that number [weight on the scale] have so much power? If you're doing the things then it shouldn't really mean much. Just another data point." Assuming Ken actually said that he's not wrong, but he's echoing what she's already been told by Alan Roberts (and other fitness professionals on Youtube, like Jordan Syatt). April then says that she uses it as a way to self-sabotage. Again, this is text book. C.f. Alan Roberts, Jordan Syatt, and god only knows how many other fitness/weight loss coaches on Youtube, the ones she's sneered about not listening to previously. LOL.

At that point both dogs come into the frame, looking for attention and affection. Aw.

April goes on to say that she's gotten better about stopping herself before she makes bad choices. Really April? That would be reflected in progress in weight loss if it were true. Ah... she goes on to disclaim that pausing, resetting, rather than giving up is progress. While she's not wrong, it's also "how many times will you rediscover the wheel April?". She's had this advice available to her all along, and has been failing to implement it. Time will tell if she actually is effectual this time. I'm betting not. She says she's scaled down her expectations (good, lofty expectations don't achieve anything if there's no follow through), but now doesn't let herself get overwhelmed and "go the opposite way". This is huge in her mind, which maybe it is? Or maybe it's just another excuse cycle. Then she says that she also can't just pause and stay the same too long or no progress will be made. We're supposed to pity her because she finds it so stressful to continue forward.

TL: DR Shorter summary, April is up in her feelings, talks about things that she's discovered as Great Revelations that have already been explained to her before (by Alan Roberts, and possibly others), and wails for pity over having to live life as an adult. Also no weight loss this week, which is not a surprise. This nonsense is, however, imposed over pretty scenery and cute dogs. [/SPOILER}

 

[FatalTater]

I saw that part a while back where April was toe-running on a flat surface and got sympathy cramps in both my calves. How can anyone put so much effort into doing fitness so badly?

 

[Clown Baby]

This gets repeated here a lot, and I've wondered it myself. But I'm sure the answer is, many people have probably tried.

April does what she wants! Can you imagine trying to correct her? She'd say, "I can't do it that way because..." "I prefer to do it his way because..." "I know my body best and, blah blah blah."

It's unlikely she can do it properly, she just fakes her way through it with fat strength (of course she can lift a considerable amount, she carries excess around every day), and momentum. She doesn't have the actual strength or stamina for controlled movements with engaged muscles.

There was even a clip once of a trainer coming up to Ape while she was squatting and of course Ape didn't show what the trainer said to her, but just the look on her face telegraphed that the woman was trying to correct her form. If I remembered exactly when it happened I would search back and link it. It was when she first started going to the same gym she goes to now. I'm sure all the regulars know her by now and have given up trying to correct her.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

My scorching hot take is that April has discovered KF is back up again and is not only wallowing in self pity again, she’s slowed down her fake weight loss again because she knows we know there’s no way she can pull off pretending to lose 100 pounds. April, this can all end if you tell the truth.

 

[FatalTater]

she knows we know there’s no way she can pull off pretending to lose 100 pounds. April, this can all end if you tell the truth.

Or, she could try not eating twice as many calories as a 5'2" woman needs to, and actually lose the extra weight.

 

[sophiesprettytits]

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Yikes.

I forget how tall she is so i went with 5'4. ~2500 cals is an awful lot for someone trying to lose weight. Does she not have a 20lb goal for the end of the year? How is she going to manage that if she's maintaining, LOL.

 

[Ginger_beer]

Yikes.

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I forget how tall she is so i went with 5'4. ~2500 cals is an awful lot for someone trying to lose weight. Does she not have a 20lb goal for the end of the year? How is she going to manage that if she's maintaining, LOL.

According to her weigh in slide she's 5'2. Putting that and her other stats into Sailrabbit: https://www.sailrabbit.com/bmr/ (sorry, no ability to screen shot) gives a maintenance TDEE of 2,085 for sedentary activity level. Assuming she actually does a bit of what she shows in the week would put her at slightly active, and 2,389 calories/day to maintain. If she just dialed everything back to 1800 cal/day she'd lose 1.18 lb/week and a little over 5 lb. in a month. She'd also be under 200 lbs. in a year assuming she carried forward. But we all know April knows what's best for her! Even though it nets fuck-all in progress and only yields endless cycles of minor losses followed by regains. Short of being put in a medically induced coma there's no way on earth she's going to lose 20 lbs. by the end of the year, much less by the time the winter solstice comes. I am looking forward to the excuse parade, because it's certain to be innovative.

The Angry Bald Man (Alan Roberts) did a live dissection of her running video, by the way. (Again, my apologies for being technologically impaired and not being able to archive it.) He pointed out that she's already taken the full 20 lb. goal off her slide. LOL. Because we all know that by removing that number it never happened right?

 

[lottalove]

According to her weigh in slide she's 5'2. Putting that and her other stats into Sailrabbit: https://www.sailrabbit.com/bmr/ (sorry, no ability to screen shot) gives a maintenance TDEE of 2,085 for sedentary activity level. Assuming she actually does a bit of what she shows in the week would put her at slightly active, and 2,389 calories/day to maintain. If she just dialed everything back to 1800 cal/day she'd lose 1.18 lb/week and a little over 5 lb. in a month. She'd also be under 200 lbs. in a year assuming she carried forward. But we all know April knows what's best for her! Even though it nets fuck-all in progress and only yields endless cycles of minor losses followed by regains. Short of being put in a medically induced coma there's no way on earth she's going to lose 20 lbs. by the end of the year, much less by the time the winter solstice comes. I am looking forward to the excuse parade, because it's certain to be innovative.

The Angry Bald Man (Alan Roberts) did a live dissection of her running video, by the way. (Again, my apologies for being technologically impaired and not being able to archive it.) He pointed out that she's already taken the full 20 lb. goal off her slide. LOL. Because we all know that by removing that number it never happened right?

Angry Bald Man video: "Saving April Lauren’s Fall Weight Loss Goal Free Advice"

Spoiler: archive

will upload when the farms are healthier again

He also identified her eyes as "serial killer" in the beginning.

Spoiler: some of his takes on April

Points out the obvious lie she's telling when she on the one hand speaks about feeling unworthy while on the other filming herself putting her fucking groceries away or her very important cauliflower plant - instead of actually doing something about the alleged feeling of worthlessness like getting some counseling.

Showing off her victimhood while being privileged enough to do what she does. While having nothing really to whine about.

He calls bullshit on her claims and points out the contradictions in her story. If she really wanted a kid she'd do what she has to do; her speaking on her great "self-acceptance" in her video about feeling worthless. He says: She's putting the longing for yt-fame before the goals she's claiming to have. As he pointed out in other videos about her (warning her to not run while overweight etc.). This alleged "stressed, worthless" thing is a bullshit excuse. He's not buying it anymore.

timestamp around where his discussion of her running begins

Let's have a ss of the two vacuums:

 

[sophiesprettytits]

According to her weigh in slide she's 5'2. Putting that and her other stats into Sailrabbit: https://www.sailrabbit.com/bmr/ (sorry, no ability to screen shot) gives a maintenance TDEE of 2,085 for sedentary activity level. Assuming she actually does a bit of what she shows in the week would put her at slightly active, and 2,389 calories/day to maintain. If she just dialed everything back to 1800 cal/day she'd lose 1.18 lb/week and a little over 5 lb. in a month. She'd also be under 200 lbs. in a year assuming she carried forward. But we all know April knows what's best for her! Even though it nets fuck-all in progress and only yields endless cycles of minor losses followed by regains. Short of being put in a medically induced coma there's no way on earth she's going to lose 20 lbs. by the end of the year, much less by the time the winter solstice comes. I am looking forward to the excuse parade, because it's certain to be innovative.

The Angry Bald Man (Alan Roberts) did a live dissection of her running video, by the way. (Again, my apologies for being technologically impaired and not being able to archive it.) He pointed out that she's already taken the full 20 lb. goal off her slide. LOL. Because we all know that by removing that number it never happened right?

Ah, yeah 2000-2300 sounds more reasonable. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and put in intense exercise 4 times a week hahah. But oh well, all she has to do is skip a snack and she could be losing. A little sad she's already quit the goal, when she made it I had a teeny bit of hope she would follow through with it. Oh well.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Ah, yeah 2000-2300 sounds more reasonable. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and put in intense exercise 4 times a week hahah. But oh well, all she has to do is skip a snack and she could be losing. A little sad she's already quit the goal, when she made it I had a teeny bit of hope she would follow through with it. Oh well.

Not to be a jerk but why did you think she was going to follow through on it? Her getting advice from Julia Rene and not doing it was a sign to me that only a major health scare could get her change and even that is a long shot.

 

[Ginger_beer]

I've been thinking about this a little because April indirectly talks about her own grandiosity, about how she just has to inflate things, complicate things, and throw extra things in when she sets out to do something, and how it doesn't work out, but she doesn't actually sound like she's going to act on that realisation to change things. This is a big part of why I find her interesting and entertaining to watch -- she really does say some of the right things, and often manages to sound sincere doing it, and yet, and yet.

I also find her attitude to her audience and her vocal critics interesting. I think she assumes her audience are a pack of credulous fools, and there she's not entirely wrong, but I don't think she accurately assesses her relative intelligence at all, and that she's certainly not smarter or better informed than the entirety of the people who watch her videos, whether they comment or not. Her sneering about how she doesn't take advice from Internet Randoms is doubly amusing in this context because who the hell is she, but another Internet Random, and if the proof is in the pudding well... Both Alan Roberts and Chikara Transformations are successful professionals in the online fitness industry who specialise in helping people lose weight, and Roberts has lost a considerable amount himself and deals with Binge Eating Disorder by his own admission. In contrast April flails around ineffectually and makes almost no progress (debatable just how much), but sure, she's not going to listen to advice because meanies. I understand that anyone losing weight (or just showing any of their life) on the internet is going to get hordes of unwanted/unasked for advice, a great deal of it contradictory where it isn't egregious nonsense, but that's when it becomes time to consider the source and in April's mind April is so great that She Knows Best, all evidence to the contrary. I would love to ask her outright who she thinks really knows better between herself and Alan Roberts, because both of them have been hugely fat, and only one of them is *still* fat. Plain logic dictates that the one that isn't knows more. *shrug* (I suspect she'd *rage* if confronted with that in real life, and refuse to discuss it, because the unvarnished truth burns her like holy symbols repel vampires in old movies.)

Also for anyone who wants yet more on the subject, Chikara Transformations has reacted to the same most recent video as Roberts. April's getting it with both barrels. I can't say I'm sorry because it's hysterical. Now to see if she reacts!

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

I think she assumes her audience are a pack of credulous fools,

I agree, which is why she resumed her fake weight loss once we were down for a few weeks. Having said that, her and Kennay closely watch their comments to delete anything that might make them look bad. So it’s all closely curated for only the most gullible. Her target fanbase are those who just like every video without watching it or offer the most generic asspat advice. Most people ignore but April actually appreciates getting participation trophies and people just being nice and polite. So she’s fine with her curated comment sections. It’s all part of the craziness that is April.

I would love to ask her outright who she thinks really knows better between herself and Alan Roberts, because both of them have been hugely fat, and only one of them is *still* fat.

April will often say that she does whatever she wants…and lives up to it. As we can clearly see as she continues to gain weight while claiming to lose it.

 

[Artificial Baits]

Also for anyone who wants yet more on the subject, Chikara Transformations has reacted to the same most recent video as Roberts. April's getting it with both barrels. I can't say I'm sorry because it's hysterical. Now to see if she reacts!

Here is the video for posterity

 

[Ginger_beer]

Having said that, her and Kennay closely watch their comments to delete anything that might make them look bad.

I don't think that's actually Kenny. I think the guy simply doesn't care about his wife's online shenanigans (apart from appreciating the cheques that result, because I do not want to imagine the financial morass they're in). I think "Kenny" is April, logged into Kenny's account because he doesn't care if she does pretend to be him online. This way she can be blunt and aggressive, but it's not uwu nice April, it's her manly husband defending her! *cough*